Photo by Alessio Roversi on Unsplash

When we were newly married, my husband left his shoes on the floor instead of the shoe rack, and I tripped on them.

When I tripped on them again, I politely asked him not to do this anymore.

Then I cried and hoped tears would implore him to put his shoes away after taking them off, a life lesson that was perhaps taught on a day he was absent from Kindergarten, so he never learned, even 45 years later.

Manipulative, imploring tears didn’t work either.

I tried anger, and nope – Nothing.

It looks like this one bad habit came WITH my husband, and so we fudged along, as couples who have been married for a long time do, until even this habit became “cute.”

Until it wasn’t.

After I broke my ankle, and for some reason, the “leaving shoes/ slippers” in the middle of where I am walking seemed to get a steroid hit. I found myself tripping over my husband’s shoes multiple times a day. So, I did the only rational thing a rational person WOULD do in this situation!

I began throwing his shoes outside.

However, this wasn’t the magic bean solution I had hoped for.

(Did I mention that I offer marriage advice as well?*)

And why, you are asking, are you airing your dirty shoe laundry ALL OVER the internet? Good question. It’s because of what happened next.

I poured out my poor, misunderstood heart (She didn’t QUITE have those words to describe me, though – Why not?) to a friend.

And she’s a great friend.

The kind who may even kick you in the rear once or twice, and your life often starts looking up after the pain.

Here is what she said the following week, “Lori, I’ve finally figured out the solution to your shoe problem!” she began excitedly.

We found a quieter corner of the church so she could impart her wisdom.

“Every time you stoop to pick up shoes and put them on the shoe rack, this is an opportunity for you!”

“Huh?” I asked, confused, remembering how my blood boils in righteous indignation at the sight of misplaced shoes.

“Yes,” she continued. “You can pray for where his feet go, and that the souls of his walking will be soft, and that God will lead his feet to travel wherever He wills for him and . . .” She was gushing now. “And I’ve calculated how long this will take you. It will be about 3 minutes of your day.”

She was right, of course.

And after the bruise on my butt heals where she kicked me, I think things are looking up in our marriage, too!

She gave me some INCREDIBLE, UNIQUE advice I could NEVER have figured out on my own!

And that’s why we need a community that loves us.

Because after the pain comes the healing.

If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face;
    confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don’t waste your time on a scoffer . . .
Save your breath for the wise—they’ll be wiser for it.

The Message

Recent update on this situation: After this conversation with my friend, I asked God what to do about this situation. (Novel idea!) I envisioned my husband and I discussing this situation over a glass of wine, dinner, and a date.

On the date, he saw things in a new light – It seems my rational mouth spoke more forcefully than throwing his stuff outside.

The following week, he said, “Darn! I didn’t put my shoes away!” and ran to get them before I got to the front door.

“Darn! I lost my opportunity to pray for your feet!” I said, watching him put away his shoes instead of me.

God’s way is better. God is good. To Him be praised.

(And let’s thank God for a whack from a friend, too.)

Need a whack?

Reach out anytime!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Footnotes

*More marriage advice is coming in tomorrow’s post!

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