How To Fake Your Workout To Make You Get Fit!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

We do what we have to do to get more fit!

man in black crew neck t-shirt holding black dumbbell

Previously, we proved definitively that we need to KEEP GOING BACK to the gym.

“But HOW do we keep going back to the gym, given that we got tired from our workout yesterday?” you ask.

No problem! That’s easy, friend! We fake our work out SO THAT we are rested enough to get back in the car and drive to the gym again tomorrow!

Join people in sixty countries who read this! (What? Hey, I don’t know why they read this, either! I think it’s because I’m cool.)

“But HOW does one fake a workout?” you ask, still puzzled. Oh, that’s easy, too! Here are four (easy!1) tips you can use to fake your workout! )

1.My favorite hack is to drink a LOT of water.

And by a LOT, I mean, a LOT!

You’re a thirsty person! Every rep, you may need another drink or two! The bonus of this approach is that what goes in must go out, and so you actually have a VALID (!) excuse to go to the bathroom.

Stay there for a while.

Maybe text someone while you’re in there! Then check your hair. Did it fall out of your hat while you worked out? Re-adjust it.

2.Wear a hat or a shirt that doesn’t quite fit right, so you keep stopping to adjust it.

Like maybe your hair keeps falling out of your hat, and you have to keep stopping and being annoyed at it.

This doesn’t work if you’re bald, but you can still choose a hat that’s the wrong size and keep stopping to adjust it. You can even curse your item as you do so, which makes you appear more authentic.Take a break and drink some water while you adjust your clothing items!

3.Listen carefully for exercise adaptations, such as when the instructor says, “Do this type of harder exercise if you are feeling very strong today.” Make a mental note of that. Then choose the lightest weight that you possibly can and the easiest exercise that you possibly can.

Wait until everyone else has almost finished their set.

Then, while they are standing around watching the (slackers – like you!) FINALLY finish up, do the exercise with the added spice, the one that is a little bit harder. Let them look at you. Humbly keep your gaze away from people so that they don’t suspect you of tricking them.

4.Choose the exercise bike that is the “easier” type. For example, at our gym, the “assault” bike is significantly harder than the “spin” bike. They’ll give you a higher goal for the easier bike because it’s easier to achieve.

Then, when you’re standing around tomorrow, waiting to start a new exercise class at the gym, you can casually mention what you pedaled or what your other such number was.

Remember to leave out the fact that you were on an easier bike. And they will surely be impressed!If they catch onto your tactics and ask you what kind of bike you were using, feign confusion or change the subject right away.2

Remember: If we keep going BACK to the gym, we will (eventually!) get (a bit!) stronger!

Oh, and our spiritual journey works on the same principle!

(What is the nudge from Holy Spirit that you sense may be your next step on your spiritual journey, friend? Let’s encourage each other to keep going, on our physical, spiritual and emotional journeys, to learn to soar in life.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.

The Message

And I wish you every success as you get more S.T.U.P.I.D., friends. (S.T.U.P.I.D. is an “acronym”, which basically means, get more AWESOME. See HERE or HERE for clarification.)

I hope this helps you again today!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: Is He Faking His Discouragement? (Who Knows!) by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

1 Anyone can do this!

2 Pro-tip: This tactic works well for avoiding a lot of other annoying additional clarifying questions on other conversation topics as well!

How The Fact That We Sleep (Surprisingly!) Promotes Hope For A Better Life!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Get some wisdom with your sleep, friend!

A baby wrapped in a blanket with a giraffe pillow

Adult giraffes sleep for approximately 30 minutes to 2 hours per day, one of the shortest sleep requirements of any mammal.

“Given SUPER COOL animals like giraffes barely sleep, why do humans have to sleep so long?” I asked my Biology professor.

“We still don’t really understand why humans sleep so much1,” was his honest reply. We spend 1/3 of our lives SLEEPING, and predators could take that opportunity to eat us! Bad idea, body!

But I discovered the answer to this question, which has plagued me for decades, in the most surprising place this week!

People in 60 countries read my online writing, so why not be uniquely you and join what everyone else is doing?

I was reading a book by former New York Times writer Trish Harrison Warren yesterday, and this is what she said, solving the mystery about sleep!

In the Christian tradition, sleep has always been seen as a way we practice death. . . When we go to sleep, we get as close as we who are alive and healthy come to the helplessness of death. And we do it every night.

Tish Harrison Warren in Prayer in the Night

So THAT’S why we sleep so much!

That finally makes sense! But Ah! I did it AGAIN!

I talked about death!

Oh no! That’s culturally inappropriate! Ah! Sorry about that. However, I knew you would also appreciate having this mystery solved!

“But wait, where is the hope of a better life in thinking of sleep as a practice for death?” you ask me. Great question! Being forced to remember bad news that EVEN I (might!) die one day (sorry for the shock!) awakens our eyes to the possibility of good news!

For example, in the song below, Jeremy Riddle reminds us that even death can be swallowed! That’s pretty cool! And that sounds hopeful to me!

Death swallowed by triumphant Life! . . . now in a single victorious stroke of Life . . . death [is] gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ.

The Message

Also, when we live with the end of our lives in mind, we find joy in remembering that we are alive (again!) today! It’s helpful to remember things you forgot, like that being alive is a gift. Every other petty annoyance comes into a (slightly) more proper perspective when we remember these kinds of facts.

And then comes the joy. (Wait for it, friend . . . )

After your morning coffee, we can discuss some more helpful things about death together!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit – Now THERE’S Sleep Wisdom! by Selenay Balkan on Unsplash

1 If you are “researching” the answer to this question, remember to discern the difference between the two questions: “What do we do when we sleep?” and the deeper question, “Why do we sleep so much?”

MORE About: An Amazing Thing Happens When You Fake Working Out! You Get Remarkably Buff!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Be a fake with me, friend! Why not? (It’s long-term results we care about!)

man in black tank top wearing white hard hat

Last time, I clearly explained WHY you need to fake working out at the gym.

To summarize THAT excellent article, remember, the main goal is NOT to do a hard workout, but to COME BACK to the gym tomorrow!

And if it takes faking a workout to do this, well, that’s just the way life rolls!

People in 60 countries have read my writing, so be authentic by joining in with what everyone else is doing!

In a future article, I’ll outline 4 “Helpful” tips for HOW exactly to fake your workout!

Wait – I see you asking, “Who would read that stuff?” Well, a lot of others at the gym and who stay home from the gym seem to need this kind of help, I’m guessing, given how many others:

  1. Stay home from the gym when they could be getting stronger! Or,
  2. Lift WAY too much at the gym.

Hey, we’re all (a bit!) messed up! We might as well admit it! Or at least use our neuroses to our advantage, and at least get stronger at the gym!

“But why would we do all the work of pretending to fake a workout?” you ask. Great question! Well, our other options are to:

  1. Not to feel like you have to prove yourself to others,
  2. Not to compare yourself to others, or
  3. Not to care quite so much what others think of you.

But WOW! No Thanks! In my humble experience, those approaches are WAY too expensive in therapy costs and WAY too time-consuming in terms of hours spent in a counselling office!

For those of you annoyingly “healed” ones, here’s a few other quotes to keep you going.

The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.

The Message

and

Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God . . .

The Message

Sometimes, though, you have to ask, “Why be fixed later, when you can cobble together an approach that works for you to scrape through life now?” At least, that is what I always say! And, “We all simply are who we are!” as all of us know, already!

And so, as we conclude today’s article, Julie Meyer sings, “You made it so simple, God, anyone can do this,” which I am listening to as I write, and I include here below – Oh! And this reminds me!

I almost forgot to mention that healing always comes that way, too, friend, as we make time for the Holy Spirit to do His beautiful work of feeding our souls, which are incessantly hungry for affirmation. We could receive our affirmation from God instead of from people (I.e., He already loves you!).

If remembering God loves us anyway helps us care less about looking like a COMPLETE LOSER (no offence), when we are learning to show up at the gym, well, that’s another approach, too!

I hope this helps you!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: Is He Faking It Or Not? Who Knows! (My Point!) by Gordon Cowie on Unsplash

Old Dogs Are (WAY!) Better Than Young Dogs! (Make Your Own Inferences)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Why? Well, wherever I am, he is right next to me, now that he’s older. He likes to be with me now.

(Apparently, that’s also because old dogs can’t see or hear very well, so they like to be comforted by the presence of the one who loves them).

And that’s pretty great.

And if you clean up a dog’s crap (and do other stuff to help him) for about 15 years, then you can be loved, too!

(Oh! Or remember that God already loves you – that’s another way to be loved!)

Read more HERE : 3 Healing and Stunning Reasons To Love Your DOG / GOD!

I hope that helps you!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: THERE’S Some Love! by Megan Dujardin on Unsplash

Know When To Focus on Flaunting Your Ego!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Not long ago, I wrote a note about a person who (obviously!) has a LOT of wisdom to teach us!

Then, only TWO (2!) pages later, she wrote this:

I absolutely decline to write my own pitiful life. I have the very appearance of egotism, and I feel almost a disgust of speaking of myself.

Josephine Butler in When Courage Calls by Sarah C. Williams

Wait. Isn’t that what we’re SUPPOSED to do? Write about ourselves / flaunt our egos? Reading stuff from people in other cultures or time periods (Josephine lived from 1828-1906) is confusing!

Anyway, I hope this provides clarity for you!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: Huh? by Dex Ezekiel on Unsplash

An Amazing Thing Happens When You Fake Working Out! You Get Remarkably Buff!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

More unconventional advice to help you, friend!

boy standing near dock

The new guy working out next to me at the gym sounds like he is having a baby every time he lifts his weights, which are obviously at least twenty times too heavy for him.

“Dude. Chill. You’re not going to make it at that level!” I want to yell at him.

People in 59 countries have read my writing, so be authentic by joining in with what everyone else is doing!

What I really want to say is, “Just get THROUGH the class and COME BACK TOMORROW, S.T.U.P.I.D.!” (No! I’m NOT calling him STUPID! This is an “acronym” (sort of) for a high-level, (un)patented training technique you can learn more about HERE!)

And of course, the Holy Grail in this advice is that you should (of course) FAKE working out, SO THAT you’ll come back again tomorrow.

To get through your exercise class, and be TRULY successful by showing up at the gym tomorrow and the next day and the next and (you get the picture), all you need to do is to fake your work out, like this:

  1. Feed your ego enough before you go to the gym (I.e., Find some people who are worse than you at some skill or some character trait so that you know that you are ALREADY amazing! Amazing-er than others!) Then you won’t need to subtly let your worth be valued by how much weight you can lift today!
  2. Consider yourself amazing at the gym, even if you are not actually working very hard! If you sound like you’re going to have a baby today because you are in so much pain, then you’ve failed because it will be too hard to come back the next day!
  3. After your relatively easy workout, come back again tomorrow!

The ONLY goal, remember, is to come back to exercise class tomorrow.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.1

The Message

And so, as you will soon learn, there are many ways to fake a workout so that you can get through it. I will give you four tips on the practical details of HOW EXACTLY to fake your workout another time, so it’s easier for you to come back the following day. But for now, or when all else fails, you can lie on the floor in the fetal position for a while. I’ve done that, so that’s how you know that’s okay to do, too. Remember, I write so that you can be a LOT more like me!

a person laying on the ground on a tennis court

Finally, as proof that I actually know what I’m talking about, I will include a quote from an expert! The instructors who run the gyms who actually want you to get strong have goals like this.

This is actually a real picture of an encouraging poster that was put up recently at my gym.

The instructor’s goal for you is CONSISTENCY. So, to be consistent, we (simply) need to help our ego feel that we are great enough (even if we fake some of the workout!) to get through it and show up again tomorrow. So keep being S.T.U.P.I.D.

The rest is easy!

And, how do you get REMARKABLY buff even though you’ve been faking your workouts? Oh, that’s easy too, friend!

You’ll (eventually) get buff because you keep coming back tomorrow.

If you keep coming back, you’re guaranteed to get stronger!

Pro Tip: Oh! And enjoy your double slice of chocolate cake after the gym, as well! If you worked out, you get extra cake! At least, that’s my motto!

I hope this helps you!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Spectator records athlete with phone, holding

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: WOW! by Ben White on Unsplash, Hey! It Happens! by Dillon Wanner on Unsplash, The MOST Amazing Person At The Gym Today! by Grace Anne Bobadilla on Unsplash

1 Yes! This quote IS referring to the spiritual life, but it’s the same principle, S.T.U.P.I.D.! (No! I’m NOT calling you STUPID!)

Hack – How To Look Like You Know Stuff? Quotes!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

If you write amazing marriage advice, as I do (I.e., BEST Marriage Advice! Store Up Extra Power For Later! and other articles), you may want to include a quote from someone who (obviously) knows what they are talking about!

I forgot to do that last time, so here it is!

In the springtime of life, [people] dream, speak, write and sing of love – of love’s gracious birth and beautiful youth. But it is not in the springtime of life that love’s deepest depths can be fathomed, its vastness measured, and its endurance tested. There is a love which surmounts all trials and discipline, all the petty vexations and worries . . .

Josephine Butler in When Courage Calls by Sarah C. Williams

Oh! That reminds me! I write about petty vexations and worries (his, that is) in marriage, too!

I hope this helps you!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

People in 59 countries read my writing, so join in with what everyone else is doing! (Wait! I meant “Be Uniquely You!”)

Photo Credit: He Has Good Ideas Somewhere! by Peter Olexa on Unsplash

Being Happily Married Is What Happens When Collecting Power In These Easy Ways!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

You can be happy like me, too, friend!

As mentioned last time, we just celebrated our Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary, and I have been very happily married.

Because of this, I wanted to share some more marriage advice, beyond what I have already shared HERE , HERE, and HERE!

A successful marriage is no more complicated than making sure you have enough power in your pocket for the future.

And in this article, I will teach you how to gather power for later use!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

As background, our friends were praying for us over our marriage recently. Yes! We have great friends!

If you come to church, the Pastor may ask your friends to pray for your marriage, too, and that’s one of the many benefits of a church community!

My purpose in writing is simply this: . . . how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he’s listening.

The Message

On reflection, that MIGHT be ANOTHER reason why we are happily married – because we and others pray for our marriage and also work on learning about marriage? We are also going through this book with our spouses and talking about what we are learning with some friends. That kind of prayer and learning stuff can’t hurt, I suppose, but I have my own advice to share with you today!

Anyway, one friend said (to me!) during this time of prayer for our marriage to, “Think of kind little things to do for each other” (!) Why did she have to say that to ME? Of course, I already know this stuff!

To clarify, thinking of small1 acts of service to do for others might not be what I’m naturally good at, but we’re all good at SOMETHING, right?

As proof that I know EXACTLY how to do little kind things for my spouse- THANK YOU VERY MUCH! – I have written this list to help you!

How To Do Little Kind Things For Your Spouse (so that the power balance is shifted in your favor):

  1. ”Don’t worry,” you can say, gently, as you pat them understandably on the back the next time they make a mistake. “That’s just fine.” But this kindness, understanding and forgiveness is actually storing up extra power in your pocket that you can dole out later, the next time you make a mistake! Try it, friends! It’s helpful to have extra power in your pocket!
  2. Then, the next time they make a mistake, “Forget” that you “forgot” what they did wrong! Then remember in detail his every mistake! The whys of this were explained fully LAST TIME.
  3. Another way to store up power is to do something kind for your spouse when they least expect it. For example, when I had a back injury, my spouse brought me coffee every morning in bed! Of course, I couldn’t get out of bed, but the fact that he brought me coffee in bed was awesome.
  4. And this is another way we can reverse-power grab! Which is when we subtly “hint” at little things they used to do and moan about how much better our lives would be if they would (simply!) do these things again (Every day, for example)! As an example, I’m hoping my husband reads this, and if so, I hope he is “encouraged” to keep doing nice things for me!

You see, we can encourage each other!

So, remember, do nice things for your spouse!

Trust me, it works!

We’ve been happily married for 25 years, and so I would have (obviously!) learned a thing or two by now!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: US! by Our Amazing Wedding Photographer!

1 Or large

BEST Marriage Advice! Store Up Extra Power For Later!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Being happily married for 25 years like me can be easy, friend!

We celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary this month. And you know, on reflection, it’s actually easy to be married for 25 years! The trick is to understand power.

The power must stay balanced.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

For example, you’ll want to reserve some power for later, when you make the inevitable mistakes all of us tend to make. It’s handy to have some extra power in your pocket for moments like these. This is so you have the upper hand and can wield some power, so you don’t have to spend quite as long in the slumps or groveling.

So, for example, for our 25th wedding anniversary dinner, I brought a small surprise present for my husband.

This is a perfect way to gather little memories to cherish forever! And also, this is a perfect opportunity for you to put some extra power into your pocket! Here’s how to store up power, using this ACTUAL example1 from my own life!

  1. I gave a small, surprise present to my spouse in FRONT OF my spouse’s friends at our anniversary celebration dinner without telling him first that I was going to do this!
  2. I also gave this present on a day that wasn’t our actual anniversary (To reduce the risk of him giving me a present! See the no-fail beauty in this advice?)
  3. He (therefore) didn’t know I was going to give him a present or that I’m doing this so all of our friends will assume (of course!) what a great spouse I am and what a terrible spouse my husband is!
  4. It’s moments like these that help you keep power in your pocket so that you can dole it out later when necessary, friends!

When You Need A Little Extra Power:

For example, that morning I drank all the cream for our morning coffees because I didn’t feel like sharing the last little bit, my husband COULD be mad at me for that, but THANKFULLY I had a little extra power in my pocket saved up. It was wrong of me to drink ALL the remaining coffee cream2 but thankfully, I had a bit of extra power in my pocket, from remembering in detail the last mistake he made, from times that I had stored it up for occasions just such as this! And voila!

The power balance is restored.

Love . . . doesn’t keep score of the sins of others

The Message

Caveat: I find that the source for this quote isn’t ALWAYS completely helpful in proving my point of view, as noted above, though it does have many useful bits that help me see the world in ways that align with how I see things! The rest of this chapter of this ancient text says a LOT about loving well, but I, for one, always find the rest of the chapter completely confusing! Well, “Learn what you can where you can!” as I always say!

The summary of this helpful advice is really CYA.

CYA is an acronym that stands for “Cover Your…” I dunno. I think it’s “Arsenal.” I can’t remember the last word of that acronym.

In CYA, you want to build up protection, cover your troops and have enough arsenal in your pockets and at your disposal for your next battle.

But you see, friends? With helpful strategies such as these, it’s easy! Being married for 25 years is a snap!

For more helpful advice, check out additional marriage advice HERE, HERE and more coming as we enter our 26th year.

You’re welcome, everyone!

Good luck!

Elderly couple kissing, holding champagne and flowers.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: US! by A Friend, A Kind And Considerate Present! by Me, And “US” In Another 25 Years! by Godz1 on Unsplash

1 That you will want to emulate. (Of course!)

2 Yes! I would do it again! But why would you ask that!

How To Be Exceptional at Mediocrity (Shh . . . It’s A Secret)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

It’s easier than you think to be exceptional, friend!

a man holding a trophy in front of a building

It’s EASY to be exceptional!

Proof:

  • I got a spelling award every week in Grade 3, just by losing a bit of my mental health by staying inside every night studying spelling words, while other kids had fun playing neighborhood games!

Click HERE to continue reading.

People in 58 countries read my writing, so join in with what everyone else is doing! (Wait! I meant “Be Uniquely You!”)