Wait. Isn’t that what we’re SUPPOSED to do? Write about ourselves / flaunt our egos? Reading stuff from people in other cultures or time periods (Josephine lived from 1828-1906) is confusing!
Anyway, I hope this provides clarity for you!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
The new guy working out next to me at the gym sounds like he is having a baby every time he lifts his weights, which are obviously at least twenty times too heavy for him.
“Dude. Chill. You’re not going to make it at that level!” I want to yell at him.
People in 59 countries have read my writing, so be authentic by joining in with what everyone else is doing!
What I really want to say is, “Just get THROUGH the class and COME BACK TOMORROW, S.T.U.P.I.D.!” (No! I’m NOT calling him STUPID! This is an “acronym” (sort of) for a high-level, (un)patented training technique you can learn more about HERE!)
And of course, the Holy Grail in this advice is that you should (of course) FAKE working out, SO THAT you’ll come back again tomorrow.
To get through your exercise class, and be TRULY successful by showing up at the gym tomorrow and the next day and the next and (you get the picture), all you need to do is to fake your work out, like this:
Consider yourself amazing at the gym, even if you are not actually working very hard! If you sound like you’re going to have a baby today because you are in so much pain, then you’ve failed because it will be too hard to come back the next day!
After your relatively easy workout, come back again tomorrow!
The ONLY goal, remember, is to come back to exercise class tomorrow.
So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.1
And so, as you will soon learn, there are many ways to fake a workout so that you can get through it. I will give you four tips on the practical details of HOW EXACTLY to fake your workout another time, so it’s easier for you to come back the following day. But for now, or when all else fails, you can lie on the floor in the fetal position for a while. I’ve done that, so that’s how you know that’s okay to do, too. Remember, I write so that you can be a LOT more like me!
This is actually a real picture of an encouraging poster that was put up recently at my gym.
The instructor’s goal for you is CONSISTENCY. So, to be consistent, we (simply) need to help our ego feel that we are great enough (even if we fake some of the workout!) to get through it and show up again tomorrow. So keep being S.T.U.P.I.D.
The rest is easy!
And, how do you get REMARKABLY buff even though you’ve been faking your workouts? Oh, that’s easy too, friend!
In the springtime of life, [people] dream, speak, write and sing of love – of love’s gracious birth and beautiful youth. But it is not in the springtime of life that love’s deepest depths can be fathomed, its vastness measured, and its endurance tested. There is a love which surmounts all trials and discipline, all the petty vexations and worries . . .
Josephine Butler in When Courage Calls by Sarah C. Williams
And in this article, I will teach you how to gather power for later use!
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
As background, our friends were praying for us over our marriage recently. Yes! We have great friends!
If you come to church, the Pastor may ask your friends to pray for your marriage, too, and that’s one of the many benefits of a church community!
My purpose in writing is simply this: . . . how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he’s listening.
On reflection, that MIGHT be ANOTHER reason why we are happily married – because we and others pray for our marriage and also work on learning about marriage? We are also going through this book with our spouses and talking about what we are learning with some friends. That kind of prayer and learning stuff can’t hurt, I suppose, but I have my own advice to share with you today!
Anyway, one friend said (to me!) during this time of prayer for our marriage to, “Think of kind little things to do for each other” (!) Why did she have to say that to ME? Of course, I already know this stuff!
To clarify, thinking of small1 acts of service to do for others might not be what I’m naturally good at, but we’re all good at SOMETHING, right?
As proof that I know EXACTLY how to do little kind things for my spouse- THANK YOU VERY MUCH! – I have written this list to help you!
How To Do Little Kind Things For Your Spouse (so that the power balance is shifted in your favor):
”Don’t worry,” you can say, gently, as you pat them understandably on the back the next time they make a mistake. “That’s just fine.” But this kindness, understanding and forgiveness is actually storing up extra power in your pocket that you can dole out later, the next time you make a mistake! Try it, friends! It’s helpful to have extra power in your pocket!
Then, the next time they make a mistake, “Forget” that you “forgot” what they did wrong! Then remember in detail his every mistake! The whys of this were explained fully LAST TIME.
Another way to store up power is to do something kind for your spouse when they least expect it. For example, when I had a back injury, my spouse brought me coffee every morning in bed! Of course, I couldn’t get out of bed, but the fact that he brought me coffee in bed was awesome.
And this is another way we can reverse-power grab! Which is when we subtly “hint” at little things they used to do and moan about how much better our lives would be if they would (simply!) do these things again (Every day, for example)! As an example, I’m hoping my husband reads this, and if so, I hope he is “encouraged” to keep doing nice things for me!
Being happily married for 25 years like me can be easy, friend!
We celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary this month. And you know, on reflection, it’s actually easy to be married for 25 years! The trick is to understand power.
The power must stay balanced.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
For example, you’ll want to reserve some power for later, when you make the inevitable mistakes all of us tend to make. It’s handy to have some extra power in your pocket for moments like these. This is so you have the upper hand and can wield some power, so you don’t have to spend quite as long in the slumps or groveling.
So, for example, for our 25th wedding anniversary dinner, I brought a small surprise present for my husband.
This is a perfect way to gather little memories to cherish forever! And also, this is a perfect opportunity for you to put some extra power into your pocket! Here’s how to store up power, using this ACTUAL example1 from my own life!
I gave a small, surprise present to my spouse in FRONT OF my spouse’s friends at our anniversary celebration dinner without telling him first that I was going to do this!
I also gave this present on a day that wasn’t our actual anniversary (To reduce the risk of him giving me a present! See the no-fail beauty in this advice?)
He (therefore) didn’t know I was going to give him a present or that I’m doing this so all of our friends will assume (of course!) what a great spouse I am and what a terrible spouse my husband is!
It’s moments like these that help you keep power in your pocket so that you can dole it out later when necessary, friends!
When You Need A Little Extra Power:
For example, that morning I drank all the cream for our morning coffees because I didn’t feel like sharing the last little bit, my husband COULD be mad at me for that, but THANKFULLY I had a little extra power in my pocket saved up. It was wrong of me to drink ALL the remaining coffee cream2 but thankfully, I had a bit of extra power in my pocket, from remembering in detail the last mistake he made, from times that I had stored it up for occasions just such as this! And voila!
The power balance is restored.
Love . . . doesn’t keep score of the sins of others
Caveat: I find that the source for this quote isn’t ALWAYS completely helpful in proving my point of view, as noted above, though it does have many useful bits that help me see the world in ways that align with how I see things! The rest of this chapter of this ancient text says a LOT about loving well, but I, for one, always find the rest of the chapter completely confusing! Well, “Learn what you can where you can!” as I always say!
The summary of this helpful advice is really CYA.
CYA is an acronym that stands for “Cover Your…” I dunno. I think it’s “Arsenal.” I can’t remember the last word of that acronym.
In CYA, you want to build up protection, cover your troops and have enough arsenal in your pockets and at your disposal for your next battle.
But you see, friends? With helpful strategies such as these, it’s easy! Being married for 25 years is a snap!
For more helpful advice, check out additional marriage advice HERE, HERE and more coming as we enter our 26th year.
You’re welcome, everyone!
Good luck!
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credits: US! by A Friend, A Kind And Considerate Present! by Me, And “US” In Another 25 Years! by Godz1 on Unsplash
It’s easier than you think to be exceptional, friend!
It’s EASY to be exceptional!
Proof:
I got a spelling award every week in Grade 3, just by losing a bit of my mental health by staying inside every night studying spelling words, while other kids had fun playing neighborhood games!
The problem with God is that He always has the wrong priorities.
For example, the greatest parenting priority for me is OBVIOUSLY that my kids tidy their messes more often, so I don’t have to run around behind them all day, cleaning up after them! Who wants to be Martha, tidying after others all day? Obviously, she’s the loser of this historical story, and the words Jesus said to her are proof that ME cleaning up is a BAD, unspiritual idea!
People in over 50 countries have read my online writing, so be uniquely you and join in with what everyone else is doing!
So obviously my top parenting priority is that my kids NEED to do a MUCH better job cleaning up!1
But God, in all His wisdom, dares to impress upon my heart that this “kids-learning-to-clean-up-after-themselves” thing is a SMALL problem in the big scheme of things. And the little lie that my adorable 3-year-old told that was super cute, and I tried not to laugh at it? The one that I forgot about, and then I bought her an ice cream after?
A big problem, I sensed Holy Spirit whisper, nudge, remind me, warn.
Jesus said, “I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life.”
Oh come on, really? Who do you think you are . . . God? And then I remember who is bringing the words of the ancient text to life in my heart.
And the weird thing is that when I TRY it God’s way, and keep HIS big things big and MY small things small, for SOME REASON, parenting gets a whole lot easier in the long term.
Spending hours and hours working and sweating to impress upon my kids the NEED to tell the truth literally saved me from self-imploding when other problems cropped up in their teens. The kids were still messy, but I could trust that they were generally truth-tellers and so, well . . .
God was right!
The messy room problem was a lot easier to sidestep by simply closing the door to their bedrooms and pretending our house was smaller.
But the “truth” thing? It was more important than I thought. Try it sometime!
For more proof that God is (a bit) smarter than us, I know a mom who (seriously!) said, “Lying isn’t such a big deal. Stop making a big deal out of little things. We don’t worry about that kind of stuff with my kids.” When her husband was finally caught lying about the fact that he DIDN’T have an affair (he did), I wondered if she finally came round to the conclusion that God is smarter than us?
Probably not.
That’s a hard truth to learn. Not even I2 have learned THAT truth, yet! Anyway, I hope you jump on God’s side and feel that God’s priorities are ACTUALLY best for your joy and happiness.
Even if God is wrong, it seems to work out better for us in the long run when we follow His priorities for our lives, I’ve noticed.
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credit: How Dare He Think He’s So Smart? by Ben White on Unsplash
Got time to become a little less frantic, spinning, busy (frankly: nuts), friend?
So, I’ve been feeling like I am spinning in ever smaller circles, about to be sucked down the drain of life, lately.
I woke to this startling reality recently in my otherwise perfect life (Of course, my life is perfect! Hello! I write and provide “advice1” online, after all!).
People in over 50 countries read my online writing, so be uniquely you and join in with what everyone else is doing!
Not so spiritual mysteries!
Spiritual mysteries always add a drop of water to our parched throats, and yet also increase our spiritual thirst for more.
Feeling like your spiritual life is a desert, and you haven’t seen any rain for a long time for your little seeds planted deep, that you desperately hope will emerge someday?
No problem.
Let the rain of God’s presence water the spiritual garden He has planted within you, as you meditate and chew on some more spiritual mysteries, including these three today:
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out . . . Body and soul, I am marvelously made! . . . You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all.
Which reminds me – my husband and I are celebrating 25 years of marriage this month! Yes, marriage is hard at times2, but don’t worry – if you take my advice, such as that given (for FREE!!) HERE and HERE, you’ll find out that marriage isn’t really that hard, after all, for example! Oh! And don’t forget to lean hard on God and beg Him for help! That never hurts, if you are looking for more help than what I’ve already given in the articles I’ve linked to here!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
3. DEATH
I speak about the mystery of death HERE and HERE. Nothing ushers us into an awareness of the spiritual realm more than FINALLY admitting that this event MIGHT EVEN (!) happen to me (not JUST others! For example!), ONE DAY.
Behold! I tell you a mystery . . . . the dead will be raised . . . then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. . . O death, where is your sting?”
But there’s better news than a black box and the lights going out forever, friends! It’s NOT just death, but something cool after death! Yah!
As the song below sings, “if eternal life is worth living, shouldn’t it start now?” consider pausing for a moment and sitting in the quiet space where the love of God is being poured out, like water from a tap. Got time to adjust your position and skooch a little more to the left (or right?) by adjusting our mindset so we can sit just under that tap for a bit, friend? Nothing turbocharges our spiritual journey like a drop of God’s love.
May you receive this love, poured out from the unstoppable faucet, today, friend, as you take a moment to meditate on the spiritual truths that are all around us, but that we are often too blind3 to see.
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Ecology has many mysteries that are a delight to plumb. For example, read about the wonder of amazing dragonflies HERE. And learning about some of the ecological mysteries of the dragonfly encouraged me on my life journey.
Restoring Life 