A lot of the time I spend praying to God and pouring out my relational problems (people are such IDIOTS nowadays!) to the Holy Spirit, there has been a HUGE surprise in what I sense the Holy Spirit nudging me to do to ameliorate these (many!) relationships.
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The Holy Spirit spends a surprising amount of time encouraging me to shut up.
To be clear, I’m NOT saying that I need to shut up when I pour out my heart to Him. Jesus is super happy to hear all my thoughts, which is why He’s my favorite friend. But in all my other relationships, whenever I pray about it, the primary thing that God seems to whisper or nudge me with is to shut up.
If you can believe it, this is true with my friends, family, and even with my spouse. This is surprising because, of course, I have exceptional relationships, as noted previously:
But I do feel the Lord encouraging me that the reason why these relationships are in seasons of being excellent is that I shut up here and there and there and there (ad infinitum it seems sometimes!) and I DIDN’T say what I wanted to say. So this is quite surprising because, as you know, whenever I speak, I have a lot of wisdom to share! I mean, for example, there can’t be any other reason why you read this stuff, right?
. . . even a fool is thought to be wise when he is silent
This encouraging quote isn’t completely relevant to me, because of course, I’m brilliant, but for those of you who are fools, I hope this encourages you!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
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Join people in sixty-seven countries who read this! (Look! I don’t know why people read this stuff, either! It must be because they’re cool, too!) Let’s journey together!
So anyway, this family member and/or friend and/or relative and/or stranger once looked at the clock before leaving in the morning.
“Great! I have time to poo today!” the person said, before leaving the house. I thought, but I DIDN’T say (See how wise I’ve become?), “Maybe you should wake up 2 minutes and 30 seconds earlier each day?” But I didn’t say that, because sometimes we get stuck in a rut or an unhelpful habit.
There are other unhelpful patterns that I’ve been noticing – for example, a friend who has been stuck in the same relational problems for 30 years – different people over the years, but the same essential problem. “MAYBE your (potential) emotional wounds have something to do with these broken relationships?” I want to suggest, gently. She is not open to suggestions in this area. Luckily I AM! (See the mountain biking example above or HERE!)
So how do we get out of these unhelpful life patterns that all of us have, if we’re honest?
What have I learned? Oh! I’m glad you asked!
Well, unfortunately (for you), I still have (a FEW!) bad habits I need to recover from, including desperately striving each day to extract enough love from every passerby to fill my unending tank by seeking love everywhere I go. Still, I have been growing in this area! This is what I’ve learned:
When I remember that I am (Me! Little ol’ me!) NOT perfect; ironically, this is when I can finally put down my busy work and rest awhile. So, the surprise is that it’s NOT in building up our fragile self-esteem where the healing comes. Instead, it’s in honestly (Hey! We know this stuff if we’re honest!) admitting we messed up again that the sigh of honest relief can be let out (finally!) along with our stomach fat.
I come in this state, this NOT PERFECT state, and hold up my glass to Jesus. Can You please give me a drink?
Then I swim in the deeper water of His love.
And the irony is that the more broken I am, the more healing is His love.
If only I could remember stuff like that, because USUALLY, I’m pretty awesome! (Not gonna lie). As the song below sings, consider asking Holy Spirit, “If I had time to rest, where would You want me to sit with nothing else going on, and take 5 minutes to receive a glass of Your comforting love and water from the deepest well?”
(What do you sense in the depths of your soul?)
And may you be transformed, friend.
Receiving a few more drops of the love of God MAY not solve all your problems (like setting your alarm a bit earlier, now that I think of it), but you would be surprised how much transformation happens this way! And hey – maybe you can even become a little more awesome! Like me! (just sayin’)
It’s surprising what you can learn (from me!), friends!
I don’t know why I’ve never thought of this for the last 25 years we have been married, but I DIDN’T ask my husband for advice in ONE area where he excels. Why didn’t I ask for his advice? Well, who can figure out stuff like that!
Join people in sixty-seven countries who read this! (Look! I don’t know why people read this stuff, either! It must be because they’re cool, too!) Let’s journey together!
Anyway, although when we met, I was a MUCH stronger downhill skier than him (AND cribbage player! Proof HERE! – Thought I should briefly mention this), he is definitely a much stronger mountain biker than me.
(Why would you wear face and body gear when you mountain bike, anyway?)
And we went mountain biking yesterday.
I had been wondering why I started as a moderate mountain biker in my twenties, and now, YEARS later (not saying how many!) I am still at approximately the same level of mountain biker as I was ALL those years ago! Then, my brain had the (surprising!) idea – why don’t I ask my husband for a tip? And he gave me several tips! And these tips helped me a lot!
Here is one example: He suggested that when you mountain bike, you need to look further ahead and plan exactly where you want your bike to go. We need to look further ahead than directly where the wheels are RIGHT NOW. (Who knew?)
We need to find out where to go and then go there.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Now the mystery is that I have a strong feeling there is an application of that mountain biking tip to living a well-lived life (see the quote above, for example!), but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what it could be! (If you know, please let me know!)
Anyway, as the song below sings, “I can hear a voice . . . reminding me of who I’ve always been,” consider asking God what’s ahead for you, friend! Who knows! Maybe we can learn NOT ONLY about mountain biking from an expert, but maybe we can ALSO learn something about life from God, too!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Let’s journey together!
Photo Credits – May Your Path Be Beautiful, Friend by Didier Weemaels on Unsplash, They Go Mountain Biking WHERE? by Fernando muñoz on Unsplash, and Me! Mountain Biking With A Great Instructor by Me.
What? I had heard of people- mysterious people- somewhere ELSE, who would purchase a coffee for the next person behind them at a drive-through. After I heard that, I went through drive-through after drive-through, crossing my fingers that THIS time it would be me who got a free coffee!
Life is short. Why not laugh a bit more? (Wait! WITH me or AT me? Whatever!) Let’s journey together.
Nope.
Nada.
Nothing.
Until today.
I was sitting alone1 at the coffee shop at a table that could seat up to four people. So when a smaller table opened up, I thrust my coffee and other stuff over the barrier between the tables to quickly claim the table. To walk to the new table, I would have to walk AROUND the barrier, but what if someone else claimed my space?
Even if I AM thinking of others, to help ensure there is more space available for those who wanted to sit at the busy coffee shop, I wanted that table for ME before anyone ELSE got it – THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
But in my haste, my large coffee fell over, covering half the table and a similarly sized spot on the floor in my delicious beverage.
And I felt a bit dumb about that, as people around the table jumped to avoid the splash, and then made eye contact with me. I (obviously) was henceforth known to all as “The Spiller” of the beverage. But while I was trying to pick up my pride and self-respect (who CARES about the coffee on the floor when I have bigger things to think about!):
He had already (!) asked an employee to help clean up the mess.
She had already (!) walked over to me to tell me she was going to buy me a new coffee.
And oh – the “he”, “she” and “she” above were all strangers. Did I mention that part? That was also kind of cool.
I chatted with the lady whose eyes showed compassion for me (Who wouldn’t like a person like that?) and before long she asked me to pull up a chair at her table. Why not? She then shared some of the pain in her life.
Why not?
We all have pain every day. We might as well share it! And that’s what happened just before Rhianna (the 3rd stranger in the bullet list above) and I clasped both hands together and prayed together, tears flowing.
“It’s about energy flowing,” she offered. I agreed with her that God is love, and His power is carried on the wings of His love.
. . . let us continue to love each other since love comes from God
So we prayed together for another person she loves, and I do not doubt that God heard our prayer, whatever His answer may be. But while we wait, He is growing our hearts in love for a fellow stranger.
Maybe that kind of stuff can happen HERE too, where I am, because God’s Spirit lives in me (Oh! And you, too, if you love Jesus!)
Here is a prayer to help begin your journey with Jesus, if you haven’t already. Oh, and she also, this stranger, prayed a shorter version of the prayer above with me, as tears flowed, and we held onto each other’s hands for dear life, as the love we both needed to breathe pulsated between our clasped hands.
Maybe God’s power and free coffee DOES happen right HERE where I am (and by logical deduction – where you are!), too!
So, spill your coffee, friend! Do this on purpose! As people feel sorry for you, clean up after you, serve you, and buy you stuff, it turns out this is a great way to make new friends!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Life is short. Why not laugh a bit more? (Wait! WITH me or AT me? Whatever!) Let’s journey together.
Join people in sixty countries who read this! (What? Hey, I don’t know why they read this, either! I think it’s because I’m cool.)
“But HOW does one fake a workout?” you ask, still puzzled. Oh, that’s easy, too! Here are four (easy!1) tips you can use to fake your workout! )
1.My favorite hack is to drink a LOT of water.
And by a LOT, I mean, a LOT!
You’re a thirsty person! Every rep, you may need another drink or two! The bonus of this approach is that what goes in must go out, and so you actually have a VALID (!) excuse to go to the bathroom.
Stay there for a while.
Maybe text someone while you’re in there! Then check your hair. Did it fall out of your hat while you worked out? Re-adjust it.
2.Wear a hat or a shirt that doesn’t quite fit right, so you keep stopping to adjust it.
Like maybe your hair keeps falling out of your hat, and you have to keep stopping and being annoyed at it.
This doesn’t work if you’re bald, but you can still choose a hat that’s the wrong size and keep stopping to adjust it. You can even curse your item as you do so, which makes you appear more authentic.Take a break and drink some water while you adjust your clothing items!
3.Listen carefully for exercise adaptations, such as when the instructor says, “Do this type of harder exercise if you are feeling very strong today.” Make a mental note of that. Then choose the lightest weight that you possibly can and the easiest exercise that you possibly can.
Wait until everyone else has almost finished their set.
Then, while they are standing around watching the (slackers – like you!) FINALLY finish up, do the exercise with the added spice, the one that is a little bit harder. Let them look at you. Humbly keep your gaze away from people so that they don’t suspect you of tricking them.
4.Choose the exercise bike that is the “easier” type. For example, at our gym, the “assault” bike is significantly harder than the “spin” bike. They’ll give you a higher goal for the easier bike because it’s easier to achieve.
Then, when you’re standing around tomorrow, waiting to start a new exercise class at the gym, you can casually mention what you pedaled or what your other such number was.
Remember to leave out the fact that you were on an easier bike. And they will surely be impressed!If they catch onto your tactics and ask you what kind of bike you were using, feign confusion or change the subject right away.2
Remember: If we keep going BACK to the gym, we will (eventually!) get (a bit!) stronger!
(What is the nudge from Holy Spirit that you sense may be your next step on your spiritual journey, friend? Let’s encourage each other to keep going, on our physical, spiritual and emotional journeys, to learn to soar in life.
So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.
And I wish you every success as you get more S.T.U.P.I.D., friends. (S.T.U.P.I.D. is an “acronym”, which basically means, get more AWESOME. See HERE or HERE for clarification.)
I hope this helps you again today!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credit: Is He Faking His Discouragement? (Who Knows!) by Sander Sammy on Unsplash
“Given SUPER COOL animals like giraffes barely sleep, why do humans have to sleep so long?” I asked my Biology professor.
“We still don’t really understand why humans sleep so much1,” was his honest reply. We spend 1/3 of our lives SLEEPING, and predators could take that opportunity to eat us! Bad idea, body!
But I discovered the answer to this question, which has plagued me for decades, in the most surprising place this week!
People in 60 countries read my online writing, so why not be uniquely you and join what everyone else is doing?
I was reading a book by former New York Times writer Trish Harrison Warren yesterday, and this is what she said, solving the mystery about sleep!
In the Christian tradition, sleep has always been seen as a way we practice death. . . When we go to sleep, we get as close as we who are alive and healthy come to the helplessness of death. And we do it every night.
Also, when we live with the end of our lives in mind, we find joy in remembering that we are alive (again!) today! It’s helpful to remember things you forgot, like that being alive is a gift. Every other petty annoyance comes into a (slightly) more proper perspective when we remember these kinds of facts.
And then comes the joy. (Wait for it, friend . . . )
1 If you are “researching” the answer to this question, remember to discern the difference between the two questions: “What do we do when we sleep?” and the deeper question, “Why do we sleep so much?”
To summarize THAT excellent article, remember, the main goal is NOT to do a hard workout, but to COME BACK to the gym tomorrow!
And if it takes faking a workout to do this, well, that’s just the way life rolls!
People in 60 countries have read my writing, so be authentic by joining in with what everyone else is doing!
In a future article, I’ll outline 4 “Helpful” tips for HOW exactly to fake your workout!
Wait – I see you asking, “Who would read that stuff?” Well, a lot of others at the gym and who stay home from the gym seem to need this kind of help, I’m guessing, given how many others:
Hey, we’re all (a bit!) messed up! We might as well admit it! Or at least use our neuroses to our advantage, and at least get stronger at the gym!
“But why would we do all the work of pretending to fake a workout?” you ask. Great question! Well, our other options are to:
Not to feel like you have to prove yourself to others,
Not to compare yourself to others, or
Not to care quite so much what others think of you.
But WOW! No Thanks! In my humble experience, those approaches are WAY too expensive in therapy costs and WAY too time-consuming in terms of hours spent in a counselling office!
And so, as we conclude today’s article, Julie Meyer sings, “You made it so simple, God, anyone can do this,” which I am listening to as I write, and I include here below – Oh! And this reminds me!
I almost forgot to mention that healing always comes that way, too, friend, as we make time for the Holy Spirit to do His beautiful work of feeding our souls, which are incessantly hungry for affirmation. We could receive our affirmation from God instead of from people (I.e., He already loves you!).
Being happily married for 25 years like me can be easy, friend!
We celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary this month. And you know, on reflection, it’s actually easy to be married for 25 years! The trick is to understand power.
The power must stay balanced.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
For example, you’ll want to reserve some power for later, when you make the inevitable mistakes all of us tend to make. It’s handy to have some extra power in your pocket for moments like these. This is so you have the upper hand and can wield some power, so you don’t have to spend quite as long in the slumps or groveling.
So, for example, for our 25th wedding anniversary dinner, I brought a small surprise present for my husband.
This is a perfect way to gather little memories to cherish forever! And also, this is a perfect opportunity for you to put some extra power into your pocket! Here’s how to store up power, using this ACTUAL example1 from my own life!
I gave a small, surprise present to my spouse in FRONT OF my spouse’s friends at our anniversary celebration dinner without telling him first that I was going to do this!
I also gave this present on a day that wasn’t our actual anniversary (To reduce the risk of him giving me a present! See the no-fail beauty in this advice?)
He (therefore) didn’t know I was going to give him a present or that I’m doing this so all of our friends will assume (of course!) what a great spouse I am and what a terrible spouse my husband is!
It’s moments like these that help you keep power in your pocket so that you can dole it out later when necessary, friends!
When You Need A Little Extra Power:
For example, that morning I drank all the cream for our morning coffees because I didn’t feel like sharing the last little bit, my husband COULD be mad at me for that, but THANKFULLY I had a little extra power in my pocket saved up. It was wrong of me to drink ALL the remaining coffee cream2 but thankfully, I had a bit of extra power in my pocket, from remembering in detail the last mistake he made, from times that I had stored it up for occasions just such as this! And voila!
The power balance is restored.
Love . . . doesn’t keep score of the sins of others
Caveat: I find that the source for this quote isn’t ALWAYS completely helpful in proving my point of view, as noted above, though it does have many useful bits that help me see the world in ways that align with how I see things! The rest of this chapter of this ancient text says a LOT about loving well, but I, for one, always find the rest of the chapter completely confusing! Well, “Learn what you can where you can!” as I always say!
The summary of this helpful advice is really CYA.
CYA is an acronym that stands for “Cover Your…” I dunno. I think it’s “Arsenal.” I can’t remember the last word of that acronym.
In CYA, you want to build up protection, cover your troops and have enough arsenal in your pockets and at your disposal for your next battle.
But you see, friends? With helpful strategies such as these, it’s easy! Being married for 25 years is a snap!
For more helpful advice, check out additional marriage advice HERE, HERE and more coming as we enter our 26th year.
You’re welcome, everyone!
Good luck!
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credits: US! by A Friend, A Kind And Considerate Present! by Me, And “US” In Another 25 Years! by Godz1 on Unsplash
