BEST Marriage Advice! Store Up Extra Power For Later!

Being happily married for 25 years like me can be easy, friend!

We celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary this month. And you know, on reflection, it’s actually easy to be married for 25 years! The trick is to understand power.

The power must stay balanced.

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For example, you’ll want to reserve some power for later, when you make the inevitable mistakes all of us tend to make. It’s handy to have some extra power in your pocket for moments like these. This is so you have the upper hand and can wield some power, so you don’t have to spend quite as long in the slumps or groveling.

So, for example, for our 25th wedding anniversary dinner, I brought a small surprise present for my husband.

This is a perfect way to gather little memories to cherish forever! And also, this is a perfect opportunity for you to put some extra power into your pocket! Here’s how to store up power, using this ACTUAL example1 from my own life!

  1. I gave a small, surprise present to my spouse in FRONT OF my spouse’s friends at our anniversary celebration dinner without telling him first that I was going to do this!
  2. I also gave this present on a day that wasn’t our actual anniversary (To reduce the risk of him giving me a present! See the no-fail beauty in this advice?)
  3. He (therefore) didn’t know I was going to give him a present or that I’m doing this so all of our friends will assume (of course!) what a great spouse I am and what a terrible spouse my husband is!
  4. It’s moments like these that help you keep power in your pocket so that you can dole it out later when necessary, friends!

When You Need A Little Extra Power:

For example, that morning I drank all the cream for our morning coffees because I didn’t feel like sharing the last little bit, my husband COULD be mad at me for that, but THANKFULLY I had a little extra power in my pocket saved up. It was wrong of me to drink ALL the remaining coffee cream2 but thankfully, I had a bit of extra power in my pocket, from remembering in detail the last mistake he made, from times that I had stored it up for occasions just such as this! And voila!

The power balance is restored.

Love . . . doesn’t keep score of the sins of others

The Message

Caveat: I find that the source for this quote isn’t ALWAYS completely helpful in proving my point of view, as noted above, though it does have many useful bits that help me see the world in ways that align with how I see things! The rest of this chapter of this ancient text says a LOT about loving well, but I, for one, always find the rest of the chapter completely confusing! Well, “Learn what you can where you can!” as I always say!

The summary of this helpful advice is really CYA.

CYA is an acronym that stands for “Cover Your…” I dunno. I think it’s “Arsenal.” I can’t remember the last word of that acronym.

In CYA, you want to build up protection, cover your troops and have enough arsenal in your pockets and at your disposal for your next battle.

But you see, friends? With helpful strategies such as these, it’s easy! Being married for 25 years is a snap!

For more helpful advice, check out additional marriage advice HEREHERE and more coming as we enter our 26th year.

You’re welcome, everyone!

Good luck!

Elderly couple kissing, holding champagne and flowers.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: US! by A Friend, A Kind And Considerate Present! by Me, And “US” In Another 25 Years! by Godz1 on Unsplash


1 That you will want to emulate. (Of course!)

2 Yes! I would do it again! But why would you ask that!

How To Be Exceptional at Mediocrity (Shh . . . It’s A Secret)

It’s easier than you think to be exceptional, friend!

a man holding a trophy in front of a building

It’s EASY to be exceptional!

Proof:

  • I got a spelling award every week in Grade 3, just by losing a bit of my mental health by staying inside every night studying spelling words, while other kids had fun playing neighborhood games!

Click HERE to continue reading.

People in 58 countries read my writing, so join in with what everyone else is doing! (Wait! I meant “Be Uniquely You!”)

MORE Proof That God Is Wrong! (Yet Life Is Fantastic When You Follow His Advice)

WHO do you believe, anyway? God?

boy wearing gray vest and pink dress shirt holding book

The problem with God is that He always has the wrong priorities.

For example, the greatest parenting priority for me is OBVIOUSLY that my kids tidy their messes more often, so I don’t have to run around behind them all day, cleaning up after them! Who wants to be Martha, tidying after others all day? Obviously, she’s the loser of this historical story, and the words Jesus said to her are proof that ME cleaning up is a BAD, unspiritual idea!

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So obviously my top parenting priority is that my kids NEED to do a MUCH better job cleaning up!1

But God, in all His wisdom, dares to impress upon my heart that this “kids-learning-to-clean-up-after-themselves” thing is a SMALL problem in the big scheme of things. And the little lie that my adorable 3-year-old told that was super cute, and I tried not to laugh at it? The one that I forgot about, and then I bought her an ice cream after?

A big problem, I sensed Holy Spirit whisper, nudge, remind me, warn.

Jesus said, “I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life.”

The Message

Oh come on, really? Who do you think you are . . . God? And then I remember who is bringing the words of the ancient text to life in my heart.

And the weird thing is that when I TRY it God’s way, and keep HIS big things big and MY small things small, for SOME REASON, parenting gets a whole lot easier in the long term.

Spending hours and hours working and sweating to impress upon my kids the NEED to tell the truth literally saved me from self-imploding when other problems cropped up in their teens. The kids were still messy, but I could trust that they were generally truth-tellers and so, well . . .

God was right!

The messy room problem was a lot easier to sidestep by simply closing the door to their bedrooms and pretending our house was smaller.

But the “truth” thing? It was more important than I thought. Try it sometime!

For more proof that God is (a bit) smarter than us, I know a mom who (seriously!) said, “Lying isn’t such a big deal. Stop making a big deal out of little things. We don’t worry about that kind of stuff with my kids.” When her husband was finally caught lying about the fact that he DIDN’T have an affair (he did), I wondered if she finally came round to the conclusion that God is smarter than us?

Probably not.

That’s a hard truth to learn. Not even I2 have learned THAT truth, yet! Anyway, I hope you jump on God’s side and feel that God’s priorities are ACTUALLY best for your joy and happiness.

Even if God is wrong, it seems to work out better for us in the long run when we follow His priorities for our lives, I’ve noticed.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: How Dare He Think He’s So Smart? by Ben White on Unsplash


1 Yes! So I don’t have to!

2 Someone who writes about spiritual stuff (!) online, therefore I am obviously know a lot of stuff!

How To Begin The Process Of Finding Joy In Your Heart And Your Best Life In Your Next Season

Got time to become a little less frantic, spinning, busy (frankly: nuts), friend?

So, I’ve been feeling like I am spinning in ever smaller circles, about to be sucked down the drain of life, lately.

I woke to this startling reality recently in my otherwise perfect life (Of course, my life is perfect! Hello! I write and provide “advice1” online, after all!).

Click HERE to continue reading.

People in over 50 countries read my online writing, so be uniquely you, and why not join in with what everyone else is doing?

Are Your Spiritual Seeds Dry? Hack: You Need Mysteries Revisited

Looking for some water, friend?

Last time we briefly touched on ecological mysteries that can both inspire us and are better left never thinking about again.

People in over 50 countries read my online writing, so be uniquely you and join in with what everyone else is doing!

Not so spiritual mysteries!

Spiritual mysteries always add a drop of water to our parched throats, and yet also increase our spiritual thirst for more.

Feeling like your spiritual life is a desert, and you haven’t seen any rain for a long time for your little seeds planted deep, that you desperately hope will emerge someday?

No problem.

Let the rain of God’s presence water the spiritual garden He has planted within you, as you meditate and chew on some more spiritual mysteries, including these three today:


1. BIRTH

I already definitively proved last time that apricots (and by extension – YOU!) are a profound mystery.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out . . . Body and soul, I am marvelously made! . . . You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

The Message

Think about how AMAZING you are1 for a bit!


2. MARRIAGE

And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all.

The Message

There are . . . things that amaze me . . . that I don’t understand . . . how a man loves a woman.

Ancient Text

Which reminds me – my husband and I are celebrating 25 years of marriage this month! Yes, marriage is hard at times2, but don’t worry – if you take my advice, such as that given (for FREE!!) HERE and HERE, you’ll find out that marriage isn’t really that hard, after all, for example! Oh! And don’t forget to lean hard on God and beg Him for help! That never hurts, if you are looking for more help than what I’ve already given in the articles I’ve linked to here!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!


3. DEATH

I speak about the mystery of death HERE and HERE. Nothing ushers us into an awareness of the spiritual realm more than FINALLY admitting that this event MIGHT EVEN (!) happen to me (not JUST others! For example!), ONE DAY.

Behold! I tell you a mystery . . . . the dead will be raised . . . then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. . . O death, where is your sting?”

Ancient Text

But there’s better news than a black box and the lights going out forever, friends! It’s NOT just death, but something cool after death! Yah!

As the song below sings, “if eternal life is worth living, shouldn’t it start now?” consider pausing for a moment and sitting in the quiet space where the love of God is being poured out, like water from a tap. Got time to adjust your position and skooch a little more to the left (or right?) by adjusting our mindset so we can sit just under that tap for a bit, friend? Nothing turbocharges our spiritual journey like a drop of God’s love.

May you receive this love, poured out from the unstoppable faucet, today, friend, as you take a moment to meditate on the spiritual truths that are all around us, but that we are often too blind3 to see.

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: It’s Dry Out There, Some Days! by Clark Wilson on Unsplash, Wait, Water Was There All Along? by David Ballew on Unsplash


1 And by extension how AMAZING I am!

2 (Mostly because of HIM, I’m sure!)

3 (Or busy! Like me!)

Will Ecological Or Spiritual Mysteries Empower More Of Your Growth?

What will it take to fuel your growth, friend?

So today we’re talking about mysteries.

Ecology has many mysteries that are a delight to plumb. For example, read about the wonder of amazing dragonflies HERE. And learning about some of the ecological mysteries of the dragonfly encouraged me on my life journey.

Click HERE to continue reading.

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Don’t Be A Pathetic Weakling! It’s Better To Be Superhumanly Fearless By Doing This!

Why not lean on one who is stronger?

When my Uncle George was in an accidental fire, and 60 percent of his body was covered in second and third degree burns, the doctors warned visitors coming for the first time NOT to act too alarmed.

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The doctors said that visitors must guard their own emotional reactions in front of my Uncle to help him keep his courage up to fight for his life. My Uncle’s father walked into the room and immediately exited despite his best efforts, his physical response overwhelming him. He could not remain calm, emotionally or physically, as he tried to look at the form of my Uncle with a distanced compassion, who was conscious and carefully watching every reaction.

“Will I be ok?” my Uncle wondered, as he watched the reactions of his loved ones.

Relative after relative, friend after friend prepared themselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually before entering my Uncle’s room, and, one by one, they left immediately afterward, unable to stay for more than a few moments.

Except for one relative.

My grandmother, whom we called Noni. The one whom I looked up to as a child, and whom my cousins also looked up to. We would sit in her kitchen as she doled out ice cream or hot chocolate and absorb her wisdom as readily as we absorbed her treats.

Honestly, not a day goes by that I don’t think about [Noni/ Grandmother] and how she was my rock and inspired me to carry on with my life and not be angry or negative. I feel very fortunate to have had her as my mother and I want to live the rest of my life as per her example.

Uncle George

That day, she entered my Uncle George’s room, knelt by his bed, took his hand, and stayed in his room until he had recovered, muttering the Rosary under her breath for strength.

And how did she do this seemingly, to others, superhuman feat?

The clue is in the line above. She muttered the Rosary (Catholic prayer beads to help one stay focused). She prayed to God. And He made her strong.

It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness . . . And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

The Message

And this exchange of weakness for strength happens to others as well, and not infrequently.

Which leaves me to ask: Do we want to be weak, or do we want to be strong?

My own example.

Last night I was startled to learn that that very day, one of my loved ones was in a car in a flash flood. My other loved one in that city walked through a flooded downtown, watching a maintenance hole cover shoot up a foot in the air as it overflowed, sending more water into the already flooded city street.

I was a one-hour drive away, at an idyllic holiday spot, and a storm had gently started to blow here, too. Would the same storm hit us soon? The direction of the wind assumed that this would be so. Should I put our boat onto the anchor, then, a feat that would require me to swim back to shore and to maneuver the boat in storm conditions? Thunder and lightning were close now.

And as I snapped the cover of the boat top shut, my heart pounding (a little) at the thought of an (albeit quick) swim back to shore as lightning and thunder crashed around me, I sang the song “You make me brave” aloud.

Here is the song:

And I survived my harrowing near-death experience (OR tiny bit of anxiety – WHATEVER!) because I chose to lean on God, who makes me strong.

Just like my Noni.

Just like many others through the millennia.

Which makes me wonder: Do we want to be pathetic, wimpy, driveling, fear-filled losers, or do we want to be strong, courageous and admirable (like me)? Oh! And like Noni, and even (!) God, too! Oh, and because of God, I should add!

So, there’s a question for you to ponder today.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

The Best Way You Can Paddle Confidently Into Life’s Devastating Storms – 3 Helpful Tips (And 1 Extra!)

Why not paddle your little canoe right into the raging storm with confident expectation, friend? (And may your arms grow stronger with each paddle you row.)

I was sitting on the seashore, enjoying a snack, and watching the storm. The storm was the new life challenge that had thrust itself upon us, like waves of trouble from a Tsunami. I dried off because the storm’s splashes had already reached me, and then backed up, further up the shoreline, to regroup.

What do we do next?

Join people in fifty-eight countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

I spoke on the phone with a friend later that week, and she reminded me, “The front cover of the book that you have already purchased has the name of all three of those diagnoses your child has just been told she has, you know.”

“Did it?” I ran to get the book.

Several years earlier, when this same friend told me about this book, there was a nudge, a whisper from God.

Buy the book.

It was a book about a radical way of eating (i.e., NOT two-thirds of kid’s diets as highly processed food, which is the “normal” way children eat in our culture – I’m good at knowing about that!). This diet and regimen to cut out everyday toxins from modern life (which is a thing, too – there’s even science on this, but more on that later) was helping some kids.

But our kids were fine, or so we thought at the time.

And yet, that gentle nudge to buy the book.

I did buy the book and then sat down with my bowl of chips and hot chocolate to read about intense diet changes, to kale and beef liver and chicken broth that seemed to heal some kid’s guts, and THEN ALSO THEIR LEARNING DISABILITIES.

“Sounds like a nice idea,” I thought. I tried a few recipes half-heartedly, adding extra sugar out of habit. “Too much work,” I thought, abandoning the book soon after, and returning to our regular Froot Loops and ice cream diet.

But this friend, in my moment of desperation, kindly pointed out that the book’s title seemed to offer hope to some children with learning disabilities.

And so, what did I have to lose?

Try it, Holy Spirit seemed to nudge to the longings in my own heart, despite my protests that if I was going to eat this way too (at least in front of my children), I COULDN’T give up my multiple treat breaks EVERY DAY!

And so here I was at a fork in the road on my path of life.

Would I follow where it seemed God was perhaps leading us?

Or would I continue my own path, with the blaring fire alarm bells of multiple appointments to visit with autism and learning disability experts screaming at us over and over until this child leaves home? Would I sail full steam ahead into the storm of this recent challenge and spend my time covering my daughter with my arms, trying to hold on to her to help her not fall out of the lifesaving boat? It seemed she could fall into the sea if I sent her to various “experts” so I could continue life as usual.

The prognoses of experts weren’t very hopeful.

Would I set sail in my own canoe, my daughter and I veering off in a slightly different direction from most others in our situation, one that offered hope that the stormy seas would become a bit less violent and that eventually she could learn to paddle this boat herself, to soar into her own journey of increased independence as an adult, reaching more of her potential?

I looked at my skinny arms that didn’t have much strength to paddle very far. “Well, I guess I’ll get a bit stronger as I row,” I thought, my daughter too unwell to do any oaring yet, herself. I had only this book, as the night star to guide me. Would we reach calm seas someday, or would we perish in the effort?

It was time to find out.

We pushed the canoe out, and my daughter and I began our healing journey together.

And she was healed, told, for example, years later, among other things, that she “no longer meets the criteria for a learning disability.”

But that part comes later. Oh, and I was healed too, but I don’t want to spoil the rest of the story.

And so, what is the best way to face the storms and challenges we encounter in our lives?

  1. We find people who have arrived at the destination we want to go.
  2. We follow them.
  3. If this means turning aside from “expert” advice, advice that seems to lead to a place we don’t want to end up (we’ll talk about that next time), so be it.
  4. Bonus! Extra Tip! – (We follow Jesus when it seems He is walking just ahead of us, nudging us onto a narrower path.)

Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do . . . These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on.

The Message

As the song below sings, “What’s the plan ‘cause I have no clue what to do with these hands,” what do you long to ask God about the recent storm in your life? Where does your heart sense Him leading you? Will you follow?

(And I will pray for your own transformation, too, as you endure the weather you encounter while travelling the seas of life.)

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HEREHERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: Sailing Into This Boat’s Stormy Sea by Art Institute of Chicago on Unsplash, What Weather Will There Be After The Storm? by Mauro Gigli on Unsplash, and Why Not Soar? by Giuseppe Gurrieri on Unsplash

Overwhelmed? Fantastic (Non-)Expert Psychotherapy You Need For Free!

Oh, admit it! You’re JUST AS messed up as me!

So, I saw a Psychotherapist for the first time this week.

Oh, shut up! You need to see a Psychotherapist, too! You’re just too afraid of what may be dragged up from the depths to step near her office.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

Surprise! A Little Extra Joy Is The Thing That Can Be Extracted After Porcupines Quill Us!

Quilled in the face by another? How to extract joy from the pain.

a hedgehog on the ground

Today’s newsletter consists of two parts:

Part 1 – A story (about ME!!!) – Written by my daughter, Esther!

Part 2 – An explanation (also by ME!) of why I randomly thought of porcupines after reading this!

Additional profound extrapolations of the text (by ME! – Of course!) are in the footnotes!

Click HERE to continue reading.

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)