Humor

7 Tips To Transform (Even Lowly* Homeschool Parents) Into Superheros

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

We are learning to balance and juggle the 10,000 eggs that constitute homeschooling.

Most of these eggs are unnecessary, but that is a discussion for another time.

But we juggled two eggs for a minute today! Are you ready to try for three with me?

And so, parents, how do we become homeschooling heros? Seven tips:

  1. We get dressed.
  2. We make supper.
  3. We jump into the fray and try to keep swimming in stormy weather, rescuing pots about ready to boil over (Why DID the homeschooling support teacher phone us again? Doesn’t he know yet that they DO learn some stuff, sometimes?) and then we clean up dog vomit, and listen to the friend who arrives on our doorstep, crying, or maybe she listens to us.
  4. We lower our expectations.
  5. We drink our martinis to celebrate our success. 
  6. We don’t quit until quitting time.
  7. We pray for our transformation.

Well done, homeschooling mom, homeschooling dad!

Your kids are doing great, but they always have been doing well.

But you! 

You’re going to make it, too!

Well done! I tip my martini glass in your direction! We’re giving hope to our culture, as described here and here and here. Let’s celebrate!

We can trust that God has been waking us, calling us into a new adventure, for example, into homeschooling. And if we’ve been taking the next step to follow, His purposes for our lives WILL BE fulfilled, even if we can’t find them in the mess of our houses and hearts.

“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
God’s Decree. . .
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
they’ll complete the assignment I gave them. 

“So you’ll go out in joy,
you’ll be led into a whole and complete life.”

The Message

For more superhero homeschooling resources, or to laugh at another to make yourself feel better (Lori’s comment: Wait – whaa..? What is that editor on about, now? Oh well), check out these encouraging homeschooling posts:

  • Go here to see me in my own homemade superhero costume.
  • To discover that even homeschooling dogs can be superheros, go here.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Blogpost Footnotes

*For example, The Best Path To Real Success Is To Loudly Flaunt Your Ego

Failing As A Homeschool Parent? Try This Tip! (Shhh… Plan Supper!)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I looked around me but with a smile in my heart.

The kids were playing contentedly, cutting out shapes with scissors. Wait – was that my planning notes they were chopping into shreds? And were those my scissors they were using?

Well, you can’t have perfection.

They are playing independently!

It had been an excellent day, in a homeschooling kind of day. We had our usual ups and downs, but my head was still above water, and it was only 5:15 pm! The kids had learned some stuff today.

I felt like a raging success. 

The tidal wave of to-do items had flooded us again, but we were still standing.

“I am a success!” I thought, satisfaction bursting open my heart. “A homeschooling success!” Today, I got up early, dressed to kill (that is, I got dressed), put on my lipstick, and taught my kids stuff with (mostly) a smile, only some of the times forced!

Our house was a disaster, yes, still, but we can’t expect perfection! 

The Yeti of disorganized, disregarded homeschool supplies and clothes half the size of my children still yelled at me from the basement, but I couldn’t hear it today.

“It’s time for a well-deserved bath.” Time to paint my toenails (Wait – I never paint my toenails, but don’t you wish you were the kind of person who does, sometimes?). Time to put my feet up and relax. Well done!

And when my husband burst open the door that evening, home from work, I was excited to share my success with him. 

“Look! Children playing contendedly!” I pointed out. “Look!” I shouted excitedly. “Feel their heads! Their brains are still warm!” 

This was definite proof they had learned something under my tutelage. Kids CAN learn something from people who aren’t professional teachers! (In fact, homeschooling is easier if we aren’t professional teachers, but that is a discussion for next time.)

I was ready to pour us both a martini when . . .

One of the kids mentioned supper . . .

Do you know that noise that plays in the movies that sounds like a record player in reverse for about three seconds? That sound reverberated in my head. Right.

Supper.

I found a couple of limp carrots in the fridge’s bottom drawer, behind some rotting sauerkraut. Why don’t they stand up straight after being in the fridge for a long time? A handful of cabbage, brown spots along one edge. One egg.

Noooo!

I am happy that this situation described above only affected me once (My editor wrote 1,000 times because she insists on truth. Spoils sport!) Eventually, I learned a lesson that saved my ability to homeschool:

After morning coffee, and yes, while I am still in a housecoat and slippers, and as soon as the brain switches on, I take a look in the fridge before I understand the first words of needy children.

Anything there we can eat today?

And if not, grocery shopping is our first homeschooling field trip. We weigh vegetables using those fancy hanging scales in the produce section for our math! Our reading lesson is held in Aisle 4 as the kids try to find a word they recognize on the soup can: tertiary butylhydroquinone, anyone? 

We take our lemons and we make lemonade again.

Yes! I have a plan for supper! You?

And we pat ourselves on the back because, just like our kids, we learn and grow as we homeschool, too. We have our priorities in the proper order. Our energy and sanity are limited resources, and we chose well today!

Feeding their little bodies well is MORE important than feeding their little minds.

Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.

Albert Einstein

Yes, we may have to start afresh with our planning pages after our kids cut them into shreds to make bunny litter since we forgot to buy more, but we ARE making progress today!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Living Joyfully – Be A Liar, Nutcase, And Tyrant!?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

So one day I’m sitting on the couch, head in hands, overwhelm consuming me.

The next day I’m dancing.

What was the path that took me from there to here?

Good question!

I’m glad you asked.

Here are the key stepping stones that led me across the river, onto a narrower path, without so many hurdles.

1. Pretend to be sick when you aren’t

What I mean is, if a few sniffles and a “headache” can help your kids bring you tea, quietly close the door behind them, and get all their homeschooling work (mostly) done in a hurry to “help” you out, then isn’t that just a helpful parenting strategy?

Yes, they may play a few more video games that day, but sometimes we have to negotiate with the enemy (is there perhaps a more precise word here?)!

And how do we need fewer “emotionally unstable” or “sick” days? This is the obvious question we want to ask ourselves as the mature adults that we are. We don’t want to HAVE to lie (I prefer the term “play pretend”) to our kids quite so often. What I’ve learned is the following:

2. Try not to be such a nutcase

Oh, come ON, admit it! You ARE a nutcase, too! I haven’t met even ONE homeschooling parent, for example, who didn’t start this way.

We start our homeschooling adventure with our new homeschooling planners (I have paid up to $99.99 for mine – a VERY expensive calendar with a bunch of blank paper inside).

We ALL start with our new, sharp pencils and energy overflowing from within. We purchase a shiny new curriculum or textbook and dutifully divide the book into 36 weeks, the total number of weeks in a school year. When we have completed this exercise with our stack of texts, we wipe the sweat from our brow and think – GREAT! I know EXACTLY what my kids will be learning on March 16, next year!

We pour ourselves a martini and wait for the homeschooling year to start.

What we forgot is that we are teaching little Machiavellis.

We also forgot that we are nutcases, and unfortunately, for 99.999% of us, we OVER-estimated our kids and our energy levels after Christmas.

Plus, they STILL cry every day when we do math.

And we are still in our pyjamas.

Another “sick” day, anyone?

Noooooo! That’s not for you!

We listen. We reattach our ears. We get down on our knees and humbly beg our God to give us wisdom in parenting in exchange for the promises each curriculum provides (none of it works anyway).

We ask for ONE or maybe TWO areas of prayer for each child. Oh, and for us.

God’s priorities will not be those we choose for our kids. We prioritize hockey and extra math lessons so that EVERY KID born in this country will be in the NBA (or whatever the popular sports leagues are) and have myriad universities begging them to attend.

Instead, we humbly exchange our vanity, linked to our child’s successes, for God’s chosen priorities for them.

And His priorities for us are interior postures of the heart, a heart sickness within each of our kids, and in us to focus on. Lying? Selfishness? Bickering? Jealousy?

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

The Message

The other stuff comes.

Look at our family. We stink at looking good when we are homeschooling, and yet even our children have astonishing accolades! Maybe that’s just because homeschooling kids give hope to our culture.

Whatever.

The point is that when they leave the house, you’ll suddenly realize it matters a lot more than you initially thought that your kids are kind instead of culturally amazing. And then the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree! Just like a clean house, exceptional kids lacking in character are DEFINITELY overrated.

3. Become a tyrant

It’s the kids who are born as tyrants, but if you become a tyrant, there is order in the home. Then the true skill we need to learn next is how to become a tyrant to ourselves. We need to grow in the skill of bossing OURSELVES around.

When we show up at a paid job, in our office clothes and clipboard, we say “Yes Ma’am!”, do what we are told, then come home exhausted and put our feet up.

But when we show up on our first day of homeschooling, for example, no terrifying boss threatens to fire us each day.

It’s easy for us and our kids to stay in our pyjamas.

Learning to manage our own time is a skill.

Shout out to Mystie Winckler, who helped me a lot here.

Essentially, what is the MINIMUM work that needs to get done by my kids and by me? CHECKING my kid’s work is MY JOB I need to do, whether I feel like it or not. How am I doing with that job?

And if you find you are in overwhelm again? No problem, dear friend.

1. Declare another sick day!

2. Pray a LOT!

3. Learn a couple of tangible skills to proactively manage the ship!

It’s all about rhythms, and this is your rhythm, Mom, Dad.

Don’t give up!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Want Less Friction In Your Relationships? Two Nonsense Words Will Help!

/ Lori Lawe / 5 Comments

We were preparing our family to go skiing for the first time this year.

Only two people had mini meltdowns. Yes, one of them was an adult. Frustration levels were rising as we tried to find all our stuff.

We THOUGHT we had checked our daughter’s gear to make sure it fit from last year, but we forgot that she grew like a troll, and her skis were now only about half the correct size.

The only helmet we could find for one daughter was so big that she needed several thick toques under it for her to see when she was skiing.

We made do.

When we arrived at the hill (yes, I’m just venting now- who says writing isn’t cathartic?), one daughter snapped her boot into her ski. Snap. It fit.

The other boot wouldn’t snap into the bindings, and on closer inspection, we realized that although we paid a LOT of money for the guy at the hill to turn the screw so that the bindings fit the correct size of her foot, apparently, he only did this for ONE of her boots. Not for the other. Did I mention that our province recently legalized pot and that everyone seems to smoke it?

Enough said.

So we were frustrated.

And yes, marriage is just like that. It’s a lot like preparing to go skiing on the first day of the year. A lot can go wrong!

Thankfully, we have the following two nonsense words to share with you to save* your marriage:

1. sorryf’r – A contraction from the full “I’m sorry for . . . ” The details of what exactly we are sorry for are unspecified and undescribed. This word is used a lot in our marriage.

Like, every day.

By both of us.

An example would be “sorryf’r” after I accidentally kicked you while trying to get my ski boots on because I (honestly) didn’t see you walking past me. Or “sorryf’r” drinking the rest of the coffee cream because I didn’t want to share. I felt bad afterwards, though, if that counts.

It means that I know that I am an idiot – a lot.

And I know that you are an idiot, too.

We don’t overanalyze or even discuss details to describe WHAT exactly we are apologizing for. We don’t have to. The beauty of this phrase is as long as BOTH people remember that we have married dorks and that we each do dorky things ALL the time, well, we don’t dwell on that.

We move on.

And now I will teach you the correct response to sorryf’r.

2. yaIknow – A contraction from the full “Yeah, I know.” This means, as per sorryf’r, that I KNOW I’m an idiot a lot of the time, and I know that I mess up, and let’s move on, okay? Yes, you also are an idiot!

Can we change the subject yet?

And then we move on.

What’s for lunch? We forget about all the “stuff” and “incidents” and “offenses” and “infractions” that occurred before and after and around those words. Having low expectations for each other saves a LOT of grief.

Give it a try!

Have low expectations for your spouse!

Oh, and for you, too.

In another blogpost, we continue the skiing metaphor, discussing two acronyms for moderate and expert skiers only. Have you mastered the groomed ski runs of the sorryf’r and the yaIknow? If so, move on to the next post.

“. . . we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners . . . and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us”

The Message

In (some) seriousness, God, help us to have the humility to know we need to forgive and to be forgiven a LOT. And in (less) seriousness, help us to take ourselves and our spouses a LOT less seriously. Thank you for your continual spirit of forgiveness towards us, should we turn towards you to receive this from your outstretched hand.

The song below is about an ancient king named Manasseh. He needed forgiveness for being a jack(what?) at a 100% level, but God extended this grace to him, too! As the song below plays, let’s consider asking God where WE (not our spouses) consistently trip up in our marriages.

And let’s reach out to receive Jesus’ hand of forgiveness to wash our lives so we each can smell a bit sweeter to our partner.

Blogpost Footnotes

* Or destroy. Results not guaranteed.

This post is part of our Say-It-Again On Friday series, where we say it again, on Fridays!

Don’t Despair! The Monster Scaring You Is Only February!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Head in hands again. Trying to shut out the noise. The kids with their needs swirling around me.

We are homeschooling in February.

I sat on the couch, overwhelm consuming me. Do I declare (another) fun day and take the kids cross-country skiing?

Should we call all our homeschooling friends and organize (another) hockey party on the free outdoor ice rink?

Do I give them as much “independent work” as I can and try to tackle the mess of stuff in the basement, the pile that seems to have acquired a life of its own and that roars at me as I pass like a Yeti in the basement?

Or do I confront the emotions in my heart that are spilling out onto the couch next to me, a mess I am trying to hide but that is emerging despite my best efforts to pretend I am confidently steering this homeschooling ship?

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to hide behind the fun. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that our home is so disorganized that we can no longer find pencils to do our math. Or that no one cares. “I like using a green pencil crayon for math, Mommy!” she asserts.

She is not trying to make me feel better. She is genuinely happy. Her needs are met.

And mine?

“I’m not worried about the kids,” my husband would assert. “I’m worried about you.”

So I offer you tea and a listening ear, dear homeschooling Mom and Dad, and ask:

How are you?

Not how are your kids?

Not how is the state of your home (We know it’s a disaster. You homeschool!)

How are you?

People who suppress feelings experience less positive and more negative emotions.

APA PsycNet

And then your tears, and your head in hands, and I put my arm around you to comfort you.

Husbands, put on a helmet first and then TRY asking your wives if PMS is real.

You know the answer, or you will find out soon enough.

Similarly, the homeschooling in February blues is real.

I want to propose (shout out to Mystie Winckler for the essence of this paragraph’s wisdom!) that the path we walk through the regular monthly cycling of our emotions gives us a hint for how we walk through the annual cycling of our feelings during the homeschooling year.

And February is hard.

Now, I know that you don’t have time for a dissertation. Your child is pulling your arm already, something is burning on the stove, and you have dog vomit to clean up, but you need some help. Now.

Don’t quit homeschooling in February.

If you take the advice of the sentence above, then go! Go and get through the day! Well done, Mom and Dad!

If you have another 5 minutes, here is an explanation for the statement above.

When sailors would navigate using the stars, how would they do it? They would choose their course on a cloudless, moonlit night. “I am heading north-east,” they would assert, and set their hearts and sails in that direction.

On a cloudy night, when the stars were invisible, and they didn’t know which way to go, what did they do?

They kept sailing in the same direction.

February, head in our hands month, is a cloudy night, desolation.

Ignatius describes desolation as “. . . darkness of soul, . . . the unquiet of different agitations and temptations, . . . when one finds oneself . . . as if separated from his Creator and Lord.” . . .

Ignatius warns us that someone in desolation should never change an important decision . . . made when they were in a state of consolation.

The Jesuit Post

Keep sailing in the same direction.

How do you do it? How do you survive one more day, you ask desperately? I’ll give you some tips, held like cherished gems in my pocket from long years on the sea, at another time, friend, because our time together has ended for today.

But oh, desolation is an opportunity for our growth.

May you reach your destination.

However, you may not end up where you thought you were sailing.

That is His way.

The Best Way To Be Less of A Jerk? Pretend To Be Someone Else!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I found myself still in pajamas, curlers in my straight hair, yelling at my homeschooled kids to get up, get dressed, and get to their work!

The only problem was that I hadn’t done any of those things yet.

They pointed out my inconsistencies and went back to playing Nintendo, their little pajamaed butts mocking me as they lay on their stomachs, resuming their play.

Why did I bother teaching my kids logic, I wondered, wearily. Now their reasoning skills match mine.

I needed a bigger bullet to fight in this homeschooling war.

I scoured books, and homeschooling journals, and cried with my fellow homeschooled moms, all of whom were also still in their pyjamas. They could relate with empathy.

The best military strategy I found was to:

1) Get up early,

2) Get dressed, and

3) Put on lipstick, a nice scarf, and a smile.

In other words, I was pretending to be someone else.

By default, I had been acting like Mrs. Name-changed, the Grade 1 teacher I didn’t like. Mrs Name-changed always forgot to wear deodorant and to mark our assignments. She was always in a bad mood.

Then I remembered my favorite Grade 3 teacher, Mrs. Chamberlain. She looked nice every day and had a sweet smile.

If Mrs Chamberlain had some characteristics that I wanted to emulate, then I needed to choose those same characteristics until those traits became a part of my identity too.

The question is:

Who Are We Becoming?

I chose Mrs. Chamberlain.

And it worked!

My kids’ logic that “I wasn’t doing it either” was finally cancelled, and they reluctantly put Nintendo away, meandering to their rooms to find their (non-pajama) clothes, unused these past 3 months, since homeschooling started this fall.

And what is the lesson, here, I wondered, as I sipped martinis by the pool later that afternoon, ringing a small bell to usher them onto their next subject?

The lesson is best summarized in a popular TED talk by Psychologist Amy Cuddy. She said our BODIES change our MINDS (our thoughts and feelings). Therefore, we can:

“Fake it until you BECOME it. Do it enough until you actually BECOME it, and internalize it.”

Amy Cuddy

The lesson is, WHO ARE YOU?

But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.

The Message

When we understand who we are, we have a shot at becoming aligned with who God created us to be.

Time to switch off the iPads, stop scrolling through Amazon for more stuff to fill the void inside, and dig out the royal clothes that are in the very back of your closet, the ones God gave you so long ago, that you forgot they were even there.

Then:

1) Let’s get up early and rest in who God made us to be instead of running in frenzied circles like everyone else.

2) Let’s put on our royal robes as children of the King, our true identity.

3) Let’s gaze at the One who gives us His identity as we align our lives with what He is whispering to the deepest recesses of our hearts.

So let’s step into the truth of who we really are, the ones Jesus died for, and the ones who have found our identity, which is those who abide with Him. And this identity is enough.

As the music below plays, consider asking God, “How do You see me?”

How To Get God to Like You

/ Lori Lawe / 1 Comment

He looked at me intently, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you think I am going to hell?”

His question was honest, open, curious. This wasn’t a loaded question, as if he had a pile of ready-made snowballs next to him, ready to fire, whatever the response.

He just wanted to know what I thought.

Our mutual friend jumped between us, trying to get his attention. His eyes remained fixed in my direction while she spoke.

She confidently asserted her opinion.

He was half listening, and when she finished, he re-directed his question, quietly, back in my direction.

“But what do you think?”

“I think that God considers the revelation that we have received, compared to the revelation that we currently hold.”

His eyebrows furrowed further.

Let me explain.

Some of us have received more revelation, truth, or light -we’ll use the term revelation – of God than others. The child of the pastor for example, who has been raised in an atmosphere of grace and forgiveness will have more revelation than the child who was tossed aside by his parents for another cocaine hit.

However, if that same child who was born into a Christian family had parents who secretly abused him emotionally, spiritually, or physically, that child might have even less revelation than the child of the cocaine addict.

So this revelation is not something that we can see or measure in others. Only God knows the amount of true revelation that each one has received in our lifetimes.

And- how much of this revelation that we have received, are we still carrying? This is the second question that is equally important.

Have we held this revelation like water held in a hand with fingers spread apart? Has the revelation dripped away? Did we toss aside what we have received, including the spiritual encounters of others that we have heard about?

Or have we treasured in our hearts, like Mary the mother of Jesus, the wondrous revelation that we have received?

Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself.

The Message

We are not to sit on our revelation from God like a bird, sitting on a clutch of eggs, waiting for a God moment to hatch. We are to hold up each egg, talk about it with others, and examine it in the light.

Is this egg, this revelation, a rotten egg? Is this an experience true to the person of Jesus, or did another spew the words of Jesus while manipulating me for their own advantage?

And then, the biggest test of all, can we try a bite of the egg? We risk. We read a book. We go to breakfast at the church with a friend who seems genuine in her faith. We ask a question, openly, honestly, and genuinely curious about the other’s response, like my friend did.

What did the food taste like at the church breakfast? Do we feel sick after eating it? Maybe that egg was rotten.

But the point is, that we DID something. We went out on a limb and took a risk to discover truth about the revelation that we have received.

What is the next step in your spiritual journey? Is it time to stop sitting and start tasting?

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see – how good God is.

The Message

Oh, and if you taste and see, and are walking, in your abilities, in faithfulness, along the journey that God has given to you, following the clues as they come, then yes, you can be confidently assured that God likes you.

And I like you too.

And if we like you, why wouldn’t you like yourself?

This post is part of our Say-It-Again On Friday series, where we say it again, on Fridays!

I Lied Again But Here Are 3 TRUE Tricks To Curb Sugar (Healthy Habits Post 9)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Yeah, OK. I lied again.

I said I FORGOT to finish the blog post series I started on Healthy Habits. That is only PARTIALLY true. I am more organized than you think!

The TRUTH is that I didn’t think we would want to discuss fasting the week before Christmas when we are constantly stuffing our faces with stuffing and turkey and homemade treats and eggnog.

But now that we are on the couch, stomachs in pain and feeling like losers (Losers in a good way, if you haven’t read that post), let me help you get off the couch and let’s punish our bodies again by doing things we don’t like: eating less food, exercising etc.

Or let’s trick ourselves into believing we like doing the stuff we may not always feel like doing.

Whatever.

So January is here!

I would recommend starting off the year by re-reading my blogpost series about Healthy Habits.

Time to get fit!

This post in the Healthy Habits series is a recommendation to try to (more or less) eat dessert on Sundays only.

But that is impossible, right?

Yeah, I know, but we have to try to wean ourselves off the hourly Christmas treats, eventually.

Here’s how:

1. Trick yourself into thinking you are eating dessert when you are not.

Like a cocaine addict (are they the ones that use needles, again?) seeking a fix, I MUST HAVE a snack like this one every day. This is the FIRST item I make when I run out. I’ll skip cooking supper to have a week of these on hand.

Why? Because they FEEL like dessert, even though they are not! Fat and sugar and chocolate and yum all rolled up into a ball! But it’s healthy fat (nuts) and healthy sugar (dates) and chocolate (of course). I eat these at 3:00 pm when I’m craving my fix, and there is just enough heroin (substitute) to help me last another few hours till supper and my nightly camomile tea fix.

2. Downscale your addictive personality.

Our church has been reaching out to our city’s homeless population, and it is AMAZING how much sugar these people who have kicked their drug addictions mainline (Can you mainline sugar?) Whatever.

But let’s face it, mainlining sugar is a LOT healthier than mainlining crystal meth!

Since the reality is that we, too, are just nicely dressed balls of addiction, chasing the wrong desires, let’s learn from them!

Let’s downscale our addictions!

For example, I met a lady last week who stopped smoking and then gained 30 pounds. But stuffing our faces with food is better than stuffing our faces with cancer sticks!

In my case, I am more addicted to sugar than I am to processed chips. So I TRY to eat chips instead of sugar. Once I’m addicted to chips, it’s easier to wean myself off of that addiction. I’ve been downscaled!

It’s easier to eat less chips than it is to mainline crystal meth!

Get the pattern?

While we’re at it, downscaling our addictions, let’s upscale our Levels of Happiness!

3. Let’s look forward to making massive pigs of ourselves.

As per the theme of point two above, we don’t start out at the finish line, having already won the race.

Meaning let’s cut ourselves some slack! We are all basically crack-addicted homeless people, seeking happiness in all the wrong places, so let’s cut ourselves some slack!

Let’s LOOK FORWARD to making a COMPLETE PIG of ourselves on Sundays! A COMPLETE cheesecake with Oreos and highly processed foods on Sunday, anyone?

Start where we’re at!

We’ll eat ONE piece of cake with good manners and a napkin sometime on the future Sunday. Even if our progress is WAY OUT in the future, we celebrate successes! You’re awesome!

Good luck!

You’re welcome!

We’re Overweight Because We Lack Organization Not Self-Control (Healthy Habits Post 8)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Hopefully, I’m organized enough to remember that I was writing a series of posts on a particular topic and then if I get distracted, come back at a later date and finish the series.

It happens more than I’d like to admit that I write a post, announce something I’ll talk about later and then completely forget that I ever wrote that.

In the last few posts, I took a break from my blogpost series about healthy habits. But today I remembered to . . . I mean . . . I AM writing about healthy habits.

It’s not that I didn’t WANT to finish the series of posts I am writing about healthy habits.

It’s just that I’m highly distractible.

What was I saying?

Anyway, this post is about how to be more organized and focused, so let’s get started!

I proved definitely in previous posts that we ACTUALLY:

  1. LOVE practicing annoying healthy habits
  2. LOVE drinking nothing but water
  3. LOVE becoming exhausted exercising
  4. LOVE eating green food
  5. LOVE starving ourselves
  6. LOVE to avoid dessert (future blog post, if I remember)

So by now, we have finally figured out (or tricked ourselves into believing) that these healthy habits are awesome.

How we DO these habits, the hard work of rolling up our sleeves and getting them done is the next part.

But that’s not as hard now, because if we WANT to do something, then getting up enough willpower to prep and do the work so we can DO these habits is the easy part. 

Being successful in life is kind of like being successful in homeschooling our kids, I think.

The main goal of a homeschooling parent is to structure school in such a way that the kid enjoys learning as much as possible. If a kid WANTS to do something we can stand back, and yeah, maybe even drink a martini by the pool for once, for real. (For about an hour, tops, but this time I’m telling the truth about martinis).

And it’s the same with motivating us. When we WANT to do something we can make it happen.

Sometimes we beat ourselves up for all the wrong reasons. We are annoyed at ourselves for having an unhealthy lunch, and we assume it must have something to do with self-control.

Organization is the real culprit.

Try spending two hours on the weekend preparing healthy food to make these healthy habits easier during the week.

Here is an example to get you started. Her methods have been transformational for me.

I’ve learned that if we put in that extra bit of effort to buy proper running shoes, it’s a lot easier to run the race. Similarly, if we put that little bit of effort into preparing healthy foods then success is inevitable.

We won’t go from couch potatoes to famous triathletes in one week, of course, but we will make progress, and progress is enough.

Jesus told them a story showing that it was necessary for them to pray consistently and never quit.

The Message

We can find a way, and we’re proud of ourselves, and we can give ourselves a little sticker on the wall or whatever it is that motivates us, particularly.

Yes! I do have a LOT of stickers! Why do you ask?

And whatever it takes, right?

If We Laugh More, We Can Dominate Others More!

/ Lori Lawe / 3 Comments

I was frustrated, kicking the ground as I walked. Homeschooling is impossible enough without this additional hurdle lying prostrate before me. I didn’t have enough speed to make it through the regular hurdles of life. . .

. . . nevermind this race I’m running strewn with toppled school desks, kid’s toys, and homeschooling supplies.

We did a personality test for a fun homeschooling project.

The results scared me to my core.

My daughter, the one who has been slowly asserting dominance over me every time my back has been turned since she was, oh, about two months old, has a personality that is – get this – most similar to a lion.

And my personality?

Not a lion tamer. Nope.

Not a blue whale, larger than life.

Not a great white shark, terrifying those within a several kilometre radius.

My personality, most unfortunately, given that I have a lion-like child trying to bite me whenever I’m not looking, is best compared to . . .

. . . a sweet and gentle creature whose favorite past time is to play.

My personality is most similar to that of an otter.

“And HOW is an otter supposed to lead a lion?” I yelled at God that day, kicking the path as I walked.

“All that kid wants to do is eat me!”

Try being David when your child is Goliath. Sure, it’s one thing to vanquish Goliath in a one-off contest using an unexpected weapon. But LEAD Goliath, David? Day after day? Good luck!

And that’s my job.

Also the strategy of “hide a bit and hope to survive until, oh, 8:30 am when the school bus comes each day” won’t work for me.

Nope.

This kid is with me 24/7.

We homeschool.

What was I thinking taking on this mammoth task?

“God!” I called out, my anger turned to desperation. “How is an otter supposed to parent a lion?”

And the picture He gave me in my mind that day as I walked changed everything.

The picture was of an otter, front legs straight out and entirely touching the ground, tail wagging.

Now pause here because this picture has meaning to dog owners. This is the position dogs assume to indicate it’s playtime.

And the rest of the picture?

The lion assumed the same pose, following the cues of the otter. Behind the roaring facade, she wanted to have fun.

She just didn’t know how.

Play with her, God whispered.

And I was given a tool that unlocked my daughter’s heart and opened a new parenting door for us, leading to a beautiful place.

I understood what He was whispering.

The lion will WILLINGLY submit to the otter so she can play.

The next day, when that little lion led me to an emotional place I never wanted to visit again, I stopped myself from following her lead.

I wasn’t in the mood to play.

But “Let’s play,” I announced.

I thought, “Let’s play a game where I try not to wring your little neck.”

But when I took the reigns, went with my natural strengths, and played with her, even though I didn’t feel like it, the little lion unwound herself and laughed a bit. And she hugged me.

And she was so dang cute that we played a little longer, and soon, I was having a great time, too.

I was leading again.

She naturally followed.

But this is the weird thing.

She came under my leadership for the rest of the day.

Fifteen minutes of play transformed her into a little lion-otter, expectantly waiting for me to help fun tickle her side at any moment.

And I made it through that homeschooling day.

Reflecting that night with a glass of wine, I asked my husband to promise to help me remember to proactively PLAY with my little lion so I could dominate her.

Er. . . LEAD her, I meant to write.

Whatever.

The point is that God has a solution to our EVERY problem.

And who knows? Maybe this strategy would work in other situations?

Try it with your boss. Tell him he’s a loser, and then laugh. See if you get that promotion after all!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

God, thank you that our mammoth problems are tiny piles of sand to You, that can be blown away with one breath of Your Spirit. Speak to us and remind us to hide beneath Your wings, the place where You hand out both love for us, and wisdom for our myriad challenges, we pray.

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Ancient Text