Family

Overwhelmed? How To Receive Comfort, Guidance, Strength We Need

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

She held her head in her hands, tears flowing.

Her child stood next to her. The girl look worried for her mother. She wanted to help.

The girl held a wildflower she had just picked and extended her arm to her mom with this offering.

It was all she had.

The flower drooped in her hand. This child desperately longed for her mother to feel better. Would this flower help, as hope extended from her heart through her arm?

The girl’s dress shone bright, pure, like her unhidden love for her mother.

She didn’t have much to offer. Only a wilted flower and a heart of need and love. Would it be enough?

It was.

The mother wrapped her arms around her daughter, drawing her in close, inhaling the fresh air scent. The aroma of this love strengthened her and gave her the courage to get up, to continue journeying hand in hand with this little one.

And Jesus walked next to them, though he couldn’t be seen.

He spoke to the daughter of ways to love her mother – a gentle touch here, an eye connection there, a wilted flower at the right moment, laughter in her play. And the mother’s heart was strengthened.

And Jesus also spoke to this tired and worn mother, in a whisper, a nudge, urging her to use the language of love that this child could receive – a game here, some good food there, given with eye connection and a silent “I love you.”

The mom’s movements, the swaying of her skirt as she walked, reminded the child that someone more significant, someone with more wisdom, someone who loved deeply, could be trusted to be followed.

The mom remembered this, too. She held Jesus’ hand with her free hand as she journeyed, following the path set before her. Someone else walked with her, had more wisdom than her and loved with a depth that surpassed her strength for love.

And remembering this lightened the load she carried on her back. As she walked, the gentle squeeze from his hand reminded her to turn this way, not that, on the path of life.

Some dangers were avoided, but not all. Some dangers drew her closer to the arms of Jesus as she drew her child next to her. On that scary stormy night outside, they heard the strange animals howling and felt the beating of their hearts.

But their trust grew more robust.

. . . if you’ll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times

The Message

When the rain stopped, and they continued their journey together, Jesus spoke wisdom, quietly and inaudibly to this good mother.

And she walked a little further. And her legs grew stronger. And her child’s legs grew stronger and longer, and they walked further than they thought they could.

His love strengthened their hearts and their love for one another.

And walking the path of life got a little easier.

Up for a journey, friend?

He is standing next to you, too, as you cry. Do you need a Kleenex? He is offering you one, too.

Ready for some comfort?

Jesus, may our eyes function with the capacity to see how You are already at work in each of our lives, we pray.

The Eye-Opening Way To Soar Like A Bird Over The Desert Of A Wasted Life

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I was flying one day, soaring like a bird. I could see for miles around. I could hear God whisper, even though I doubted I heard correctly or well.

He said He was pleased with me.

I had a life the world scrunched up like used paper, ready to toss in the garbage.

But God saw a world of possibilities on the horizon of my life as we soared that day above the clouds.

I had invested my life. I had spent my life, out of the world’s horizon of possibilities, in one tiny area. I had invested most of my health and youthful vitality into two small children.

Homeschool them, He had whispered that day.

And through my tears, and hopes, I obeyed, never imagining how far into the horizon of my life this journey would take me.

And again, He said, year after year.

And when I look back now, with my hurting back of older age and the gray hairs that crown my face, it was a worthless life, one the world throws away.

“Heaven always recognizes the fathers and the mothers who pay the price and create momentum for following generations. Fathers and mothers, in eternity, always receive benefits (if you will) from what their investment provided in future generations . . .

Be willing to be the first in your family to break into something.

Be willing to pay the price to get a breakthrough that the rest of your descendants will benefit from because heaven applauds those whose . . . anointing is less, but they created the momentum so that another generation could inherit it and take it to a place they never had time to go.”

Bill Johnson in The Test For Promotion

“She threw away her talents!” they exclaim. My national government, the university and others had thrown money at me in my youth. “Study and take this valued position,” they offered.

And I did, for a while.

And then I homeschooled my kids for many, many years.

Why?

I don’t know.

I’m following my Saviour, and this is where He led me.

He seems to be leading some others there, too.

I am not a chess player, but only one of His pieces.

I must trust that my life, rightly lived, opens the door to the wind of the spirit of His work in the world.

And where is He leading me next?

It doesn’t matter.

Because in His arms, I can place the stewardship of my life. I feel alive there. I pray for you, too, to be set free from the snares of the approval our society offers, entangled by the search for ever more wealth, when we have enough food for today.

I pray for the strength to invest in little people if He calls you to set aside time for this.

And not everyone is called to homeschool, of course.

But wherever He calls you, I pray you follow.

And in each season of our lives, may we lay down how we thought life would be and pick up the strange reality of His life at work through a group of people ready to join the adventure.

Where is He leading you in this season?

Need some water for the journey? I hold out my canteen to you. And come on, let’s rest in this cabin we stumbled across before we start again, journeying tomorrow.

A little rest will do us good.

“Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest . . . Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

The Message

Have any food to share?

And may you have the strength to journey on again tomorrow, friend.

May the food God sends you be enough for today.

God then told Elijah . . . “You can drink fresh water from the brook; I’ve ordered the ravens to feed you.”

The Message

God, may we be awakened to see with Your eyes we pray.

Relax and Have More Fun! They HAVE to Love You!

/ Lori Lawe / 3 Comments

What if people HAD to love you?

I figured out what my family REALLY thought about me lately, and it was a bit of a shock.

Here’s what happened.

We were reading an excellent book together as a family.

Caveat: Before you get the wrong idea of us all drinking hot chocolate and stringing popcorn and cranberries by the fire as we each take turns reading aloud together, singing a song between each chapter, aka Little House on the Prairie style, no, it wasn’t like that. It was an audiobook played in the car during our day-long drive to visit extended family. The book just helped us not to want to kill each other.

Setting the mood.

Anyway, the book was excellent. It was called Jesus Revolution. I would highly recommend it*. We all got into the story, and even the child we initially had to bribe to listen to the story with us asked for more!

At one point in the book, the author, Greg Laurie, is described as having something like “deep spiritual depth and a bit of an unpredictable, crazy personality. You never knew what he was going to do next.”

My husband looked at me sneakily out of the corner of his eye, smirking. “WHAT???” I asked. “What are you smirking about??”

“Oh,” he replied, looking away casually, “just something said in the book.”

“What??” I protested. “I’m not…!” And then he laughed, and there was a muffled chuckle, I think, from the back seats.

So I guess my family thinks that his personality describes me!

Hmmm. . .

But that’s okay because my family HAS to love me.

What do I mean, you ask?

Well, we homeschool them, so we read to them from books that say things like this:

Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it.

The Message

Then, we go to a church where they read the same stuff.

At church, they HAVE to love you, too! If you find people who don’t love you there, find some others to love. You’ll find true believers who promise to love you no matter what your personality – even the “unusual” ones – whew!

So we can finally relax and have fun.

We’re loved!

And this reminds me of what we did last night. I bought a gift for my family – well, sort of. Okay, yes! I did buy it for myself and pretended to give it to the family!

It is called The Adventure Challenge. You scratch off an “Adventure,” and then the family HAS (Yes, teens, that word is “HAS”) to do the Adventure together. Last night, we strung out yarn as an obstacle course through the basement, and we had to go through it as fast as we could, being sprayed in the face with water each time we accidentally touched a string.

It was fun.

And my superhero outfit? Yeah, I am wearing a bathing suit over the top of my leotards. And yes, the big “S” on my shirt WAS made a spur of the moment. It helped me go faster!

I even got first place!

Before any of the others went, I was ranked first, that is.

So relax! Make your teens do fun and crazy stuff with you! If you’re unsure how, try making “fun” a prerequisite to “food,” for example! They’ll thank you later (Okay – maybe MUCH later).

Your kids are loved, too!

And that was the message of the Jesus Revolution book, actually. It was about a bunch of crazy hippy kids who were overcome, in some cases literally, by the love of God. That love overflowed to others and transformed a nation (Even Time Magazine did a cover article about this movement on June 21, 1971).

So go ahead and be the real you, whatever that looks like.

They HAVE to love you!

Blogpost Footnotes

* If bribing your kids to watch a movie with you is less expensive than bribing them to read a book, the movie Jesus Revolution can be rented here.

Despair In Family Relationships? Try Listening To This Astonishing Guy*

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

She rejoiced.

It happened!

She danced in the field that summer morning, praising her maker.

What He promised, quietly, with a whisper of love, that He would guide and comfort, HAD materialized.

Here is what happened.

At the women’s gathering that day long, long ago, this good mother poured out her heart to another.

The tears racked her body as she openly shared her fears.

Generational problems pursued her family. Her grandmother, grandfather, father, mother, sister, and auntie bathed in the pool of these problems. None of them had figured out how to get out of this pool, dry off, to dance in that grassy place in freedom.

They all felt like they were drowning instead.

How would her relationship with her daughters differ from what was experienced by every other family member?

The despair of this situation overwhelmed her.

They bowed their heads, these two women, and prayed together that day so many long years ago.

And God spoke, in the recesses of this desperate mother’s heart, a strategy and plan to walk in freedom, step by step, to carve out a new path from the dysfunctional road all her family member walked.

I’ll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.

The Message

And she was joined in marriage to a man who also longed to walk a new path, the one that Jesus walked ahead of them and beckoned them to follow.

And they did.

And years later, when their first child leaves home, they look back with a cool drink and remember the pain and branches across the path of the road they followed Jesus on. They remembered their hair and clothes full of the pieces of branches, yet their hearts grew larger each day as they learned, through following Him, how to love a little less selfishly, and pour more of their lives out on the other.

And He healed their union, their diversion from the path the others in their family travelled, with a different destination.

Their relationships with their children were healthy.

Not perfect.

Each member of this small family worked through and argued past, chopped chunks off each other, as a sculptor does to a piece of art.

But their path led to healthier relationships.

This couple celebrated the new lineage of increased unity that bonded their family, as they were all refined by this artist, Jesus.

And they danced together in that grassy meadow, this small family, for something new had risen from the depths into life.

Does anyone dare despise this day of small beginnings?

The Message

Blogpost Footnotes

*Also known as “God”

Young Men – Why Chase Young Women? How To Be Awesome

/ Lori Lawe / 5 Comments

I am writing this post for my daughter’s blog.

Yes, I KNOW that TECHNICALLY, if I am writing a guest post, I should be invited by that person to publish a blog post on THEIR site. . .

Yes, I KNOW that this blog is on MY site and not ESTHER’S site. . .

But what if she doesn’t WANT me to guest post on HER site? Have you THOUGHT of that? In case she doesn’t, I thought I would write here on my blog and then link to her blog when she isn’t looking.

Wait. I meant my daughter could link this blog post to her site later. WHATEVER. So, let’s start.

~

Esther, my teenage daughter: “Mom, it seemed like Joe* (youth at our church) was upset with you today. What happened?”

Me: “Oh, I pushed him out of the way at the buffet to get the cheese.”

So, as you can see, I relate well to youth. This is one of many examples indicating my high-quality relationships with the youth of our church.

As another example, during the October 31 party at our church, in which no one else was dressed up except me (why?) I sat next to some of the high school students. I know that they enjoyed seeing my pink unicorn costume, even if their eyes were rolling inexplicably. Youth!

Fred*, another young person, said under his breath as I got up (I heard about it later): “Esther, your mom is really annoying sometimes.” But I know Fred*, and I know that he meant that ALL people can be annoying at times, but he likes me a lot.

So, as you can see, I relate well to the youth.

So, using that relational capital that has been hard won, I feel I ought to speak into your life.

Ahem. Now, if I knew you better, I would invite you to my place and talk about this stuff while we ate popcorn. But since that’s not an easy option, I’ll write it here for you to read.

Guys, DON’T chase girls**.

To expound on this . . .

Now, I know that all of you Christian young men are amazing -all of you. Christian guys ARE amazing.

Most of you are not primarily chasing young women, but you are working hard at school, enjoying your life, and otherwise being amazing.

But you could be MORE amazing.

Just saying.

If you read your Bibles every day, led a Bible study, obeyed God, got a job, and worked hard, then here’s the thing – you and an amazing girl WILL find each other.

My promise.***

God’s promise, too.***

For example, check this out:

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

The Message

Think of all the girls that read this website – they are ALL beautiful and unique.

That’s what is weird – if you seek God, God brings the other stuff to you.

If you don’t feel you are amazing or are having trouble getting off the couch because online entertainment is too tempting, read this.

The World is Filled With Boys Who Can Shave

But get off the couch.

Pick up your Bibles.

Keep being amazing.

But be even more amazing.

And one day, you’ll turn around and find that the most incredible girl is already there serving at the Mustard Seed beside you! (For example).

That’s it for the advice.

And sorry for pushing you out of the way that day, Joe.* Just remember to turn the other cheek if someone wrongs you like a good Christian person!

I hope this advice has been helpful!

Oh – and I may have to bribe Esther to link this blog to her website. I may have promised Esther a future second-hand car to link this post to her website. (WAIT – JUST KIDDING ESTHER! FUNNY FUNNY JOKE!!!).

Anyway, now that I’m here at her website, let’s continue before Esther returns from the other room. How DO you upload posts onto her website …? Ah!

Blogpost Notes

* The names have been changed because I bug them enough and want to give them a break, and luckily they are amazing young people.

** To be equally irritating for everyone and therefore “inclusive” I should also say that guys also shouldn’t chase guys.

*** Disclaimer – Unless that’s not God’s plan or timing for you. Results are not guaranteed.

This blog post was reprinted with or without permission on Esther’s blog.

This post is part of our “Say-It-Again-On-Fridays” blog post series, where we say it again on Fridays!

Ah! I’m The One Ruining My Relationships! How To Find Freedom

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

When I was a child, I learned of a true story of a married couple fighting about

. . . wait for it… 

whether the toilet paper roll should go on THIS way

or THAT way.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what they were fighting about had nothing to do with toilet paper.

They were fighting about control.

Unfortunately, even WHAT they had control over, at this level of debasement, ceased to have meaning. They just both needed THEIR WAY. It sounds a bit like hell on earth, and in fact, it is.

A fictional demon character states his goal of hell on earth this way: “All the healthy . . . activities . . . which we want [them] to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return. ..”

CS Lewis in Screwtape Letters

As a young adult, I had seen many relationships that ended up this way.

I wanted to learn how to have healthy relationships, so I prayed I would be transformed. I asked God to make me a perfect person who could find a perfect spouse and we could live happily ever after. But in God’s frequent way, He did offer one key

not in a flash of deep, fervent prayer, but by using real life to sanctify me. 

This path was a more painful route.

Here’s what happened.

I was journaling one day, and in that season, I tended to journal about my problems to process them. I felt God asking me to journal for another 10 minutes after I would have normally finished journaling. And God asked me to do this every time I journaled that season. At first, I didn’t know why I was doing this, but I obeyed. And very soon, a painful pattern emerged.

I had many unrelated problems that I was journaling about, but each situation had the same root that caused frustration, anger, or irritation.

Control.

Everything I was upset about ultimately boiled down to “How can I get my way?”

Ouch.

Now, I am from a good, Matriarchal Italian family, and let’s say that I knew how to choose my friends and boyfriends so that I could get my way. For example, when I was a child, my dad, in despair over his inability to live harmoniously with my mom, once asked for advice. “How do you and your friend Amy get along so well?” he asked. I effused the wisdom I had intuitively gleaned from 10 years of watching my female relatives and responded with this sage advice: “Sometimes, I let us do what Amy wants.”

I liked having my way all the time.

Here’s the kicker – In that season as a young adult after examining my journaling, I realized that I had to CHOOSE to give up a good thing for me – getting my way almost all the time – for a BETTER thing – having a CHANCE at having a healthy marriage. 

And I must stress that it was NOT EASY for me to not have my way all the time.

More often than I’d like to admit, it’s still not easy to lay down my way when Jesus speaks softly to me, directing me and showing me a better path. However, I want to trust Jesus more fully because He longs for me to soar into my fullest potential.

And somehow, this continues to be the place where, against all expectations, I flourish.

Our human desire for power is never to be underestimated. Our compulsive desire for control is never to be swept under the rug. Our fleshly desire for influence, ascendency, and dominion should never be ignored. If you don’t know that you hold a sword in your hands, you will wound someone. And the one who becomes wounded may be you.

Christine Westhoff in Reframing the Prophetic

God, help us to have the wisdom to exchange what we cling to for something better, the gifts You long to give. Help us to unclench our hands long enough to receive Your gifts.

You’ve observed . . . when people get a little power how quickly it goes to their heads. It’s not going to be that way with you.

Jesus Christ (the guy almost 1/3 of the world claims to follow) in The Message

How To Save* (Or Destroy?*) Your Marriage – Two Advanced Acronyms

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

We start skiing on the green runs. We start working on our marriage by successfully applying two nonsense words to our marriages. But you are ready for the blue runs, the intermediate terrain.

One blue ski run (or intermediate acronym) for the daring only is:

N.O.C. – This acronym will be defined after describing the proper application of this term.

This acronym is used when your spouse talks about baseball when you aren’t interested in baseball. Or maybe he is discussing the minute details of some problem with the kids that you both SHOULD care about, but you have a headache, and the kids are doing okay, sort of – we all survived another week together. Do we HAVE to talk about this RIGHT NOW?

If this is how you are feeling, try saying this acronym.

N.O.C. means No One Cares.

This acronym is like moderate terrain when skiing because this phrase SHOULD be used sparingly, at least at first.

Are you ready for the black diamond ski run (or advanced acronym)? Here it is:

S.U.Y.A. – Can you guess this one? This phrase should be used VERY sparingly but produces excellent results.**

S.U.Y.A. means Shut Up, You’re Annoying

Use at your discretion only!

The application of this acronym is highly confidential and is to be used by experts only.

Or by (both) spouses who don’t take themselves too seriously.

And that’s the trick.

Know you’re an idiot.

Know your spouse is an idiot.

Move on!

And there you have it, folks – Marriage Class 101.

You’re WELCOME that we have saved you over $150 on a therapist. Oh, and if your spouse hates you after you apply these helpful tips? Well, go back to paragraph one in the initial blog post.

Marriage is a LOT of work, JUST LIKE getting ready to go skiing on the first day of the year.

Maybe pull out your wallet and try an actual therapist, one that can help you.

But that won’t work either unless you know you’re an idiot, you know you have a lot of stuff to be sorry for, you know you should speak less than you listen, and you are thankful that someone still wants to be around you.

Celebrate! You and your spouse made it through another day together! What more do you want? You’re an idiot, remember?

You’re welcome for this marriage advice.

Good luck!

Oh, and I realize this post is not as serious as it could be. And this is a serious topic. Sorry about that. (A bit more) serious advice will be given next time.

In the meantime, let’s pray: God, help us not to take ourselves and our spouses so seriously. Help us, however, to learn to take You more seriously.

How to take God more seriously so that our marriages have an opportunity to flourish will be discussed next time.

And that’s about it, friends. Be cheerful. Keep things in good repair. Keep your spirits up. Think in harmony. Be agreeable. Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure. 

The Message, 2000+ year old text

Blogpost Footnotes

*Results not guaranteed

**Sample size = 1 marriage (Our marriage)

How To Wake Up To Divine Moments – Treasure The Clues

/ Lori Lawe / 2 Comments

So, my toddler said she saw an angel one day.

Fast forward about seven years. We had moved to another house by that time. The subject of angels came up over lunch.

“You saw an angel once,” I ventured to that same child, now about ten years old.

I wondered if she would remember.

“WHAATT?” Her older sister demanded. She prided herself, as an older sister’s right, to know ALL of the family stories. How had she never heard this one?

I hadn’t mentioned it in all those years except for telling one friend and my husband what happened immediately afterward.

Who would have believed her anyway?

Children don’t have many words when they are three years old. Would she remember the incident now? And if so, could put more words around the experience? As much as possible, I wanted the conversation to come from her, not directed by me or influenced by my memory.

“Do you remember seeing an angel?” I ventured.

She said, “Yes”

I wanted to test her, to see if she was speaking accurately.

“Where were you when you saw the angel?”

“At the other house.”

I was startled.

Yes.

“And where was the angel?”

She said, “Outside”.

Oh no, I thought, she doesn’t remember. This event happened in the playroom. I was about to clean up the dishes when she continued, explaining more, “The angel was outside”.

Oh! Yes, I thought, the angel was outside the window we were staring at. That made sense.

Without my prompting, she explained that she was looking out the window in the playroom at the time.

She had remembered this very incident, which brought me shivers. This child was officially diagnosed with memory challenges a short time after this event*.

And yet she remembered the details of this event from many years earlier.

“What did you see?” I asked gently.

“The angel was singing. It had gold shoes and a gold sash.”

I sensed that we were standing on holy ground.

“Oh,” I said.

What else was there to say?

And then we finished our lunch.

~

And what is our response when divine moments encroach upon our lives?

Everyone should allow divine moments, either our own or others, to propel them further along God’s spiritual path for them. But how? The softness of our heart, exposed as one of three common responses, will determine whether we stay stuck in the mud spiritually or whether we are launched further and deeper along our spiritual paths.

In the next post, we will evaluate these most common heart responses after God interrupts the mundane.

He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go.

The Message

God, thank you that sometimes, for a brief moment, You open our eyes to the possibility of the divine through our or others’ experiences.

Help us wake up to grasp what is right before us when our eyes are opened and our ears can hear. Help us to speak openly about what we have heard and seen. May the unusual become commonplace in each of our lives, we pray.

While we do not place our faith directly in angels, we should place it in the God who rules the angels; then we can have peace.

Billy Graham

What unusual divine moments have you experienced? Or what is a sacred moment that another has told you about that seemed plausible? Has this moment or a curiosity about this experience propelled your spiritual journey?

Blogpost Footnotes

*These cognitive challenges were later healed years after this event through diet, but that is a story for another day.

The Fastest Way To Faith – Walk Through Doors Children Open

/ Lori Lawe / 5 Comments

“Mommy, Mommy!” she called out, running into the room.

She was an adorable three-year-old redhead. Her older sister is comparatively more excitable. The older sister would emotionally max out due to many stimuli, including re-noticing her pink fairy wand or anyone visiting, no matter how sullen and grumpy.

This three-year-old was more even keel at both ends of the excited-angry spectrum.

And I had very rarely seen this child so exuberant.

She grabbed my hand and led me to a run. Where were we going? I wondered with a smile. I tried to get my excited face on, not wanting to squelch whatever new joy she had discovered.

We ran hand in hand to their playroom, and she stopped in front of the window. She looked triumphantly at me. I looked around, trying to grasp what she was showing me.

“Angel!” she exclaimed with desperation, pointing to the window.

Oh! I nodded and smiled.

I didn’t want to correct her, to say, “Oh honey, there is no angel there.”

What if she was seeing an angel? I let her correct me instead. And so my spiritual journey was fueled anew.

We stood hand in hand, looking out the window for a minute or two.

“Oh! Angel gone!” she exclaimed. And just as suddenly, she sat on the floor nearby, re-stacking her blocks.

Kids usher us into the divine. And parenting, because it involves kids, is like steroids for the spiritual life. They violently remove our blinders to how we have stuffed God into the small box of our expectations.

Spend time with children, and we fall to the ground, our knowledge tripping us up. Everything we thought we understood about spirituality has been upended and we are on our rears with dirt in our hair. Our children offer to help us to our feet.

They simplify things for us.

Consider Diane M. Komp, MD, a pediatric oncologist from Yale who:

“found a personal faith while treating . . .. dying children”

A Window to Heaven

In Dr. Komp’s words, children are the “littlest of God’s giants.”

So, can children help us on our spiritual journeys? That depends on our heart’s reaction to the clues children show us – more on this next time. But let’s assume that children sometimes walk ahead of us in critical ways.

Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom

The Message

God, give us humility to be led by our children further and deeper into the essential truths of Your Kingdom, we pray.

I’ll continue this story next time.

Stop Agonizing – 2 Unmissable Reasons To Homeschool (Or Not)

/ Lori Lawe / 5 Comments

For most of us, deciding whether to homeschool or not is an agonizing decision.

So, let’s say we choose to homeschool. What if we wake up one Saturday late because we are exhausted and realize with terror that we’ve ruined our kids? That they are irrevocably broken?

On the other hand, what if we put our kids through the cookie-cutter “everyone-else-is-doing-it” public school experience, and after confidently sipping lemonade with our feet up, discover the cookie-cutter is broken, and we have a different-shaped kid than we expected?

This parenting gig is not for the faint of heart.

But you must decide by Monday because school starts then, and you still don’t have your books (I’ve been there), if you will plunge into the homeschooling world – the beautiful, exhausting, messy, societally outcast-able (your kids do WHAT all day??) world of homeschooling.

So, to homeschool or not?

The cons of homeschooling and public schooling should be thoroughly evaluated to decide whether you should consider homeschooling.

First, let’s study the cons of homeschooling.

#1 – The number one con of homeschooling is that they are HOME. ALL the time. Wow. Need I say more? Before you grab a martini and try to forget that you were even considering this option, please read on.

#2 – The number two con of homeschooling is that you have to regularly flip through your Rolodex, or whatever, pick up the phone and CALL their friends so that they have a play date.

Well, of course, now we do all that in one swipe, but you get the point. It is ANNOYING. If you toss your kids in a room full of kids exactly the same age as them and leave them there every day for a year, you don’t NECESSARILY need to ensure they are spending even MORE time with these same kids. Enough said.

Now, let’s study the cons of public schooling.

#1 – The number one con of public schooling is that they are GONE. ALL the time. Wow. Need I say more? We shuffle the little snotty cuties off to dance or soccer practice after school and then to play dates or birthday parties. They NEED even MORE time with the same kids discussed in point #2 above so other kids don’t climb over them in the grade school pecking order.

Now, there are only drops of water in the jug of time the kids have left over for YOU. Before you grab a martini and try to forget that you were even considering this option, please read on.

#2 – The number two con of public schooling is the school system may put you in the equivalent of a dark closet and shut the door while your child is going through something that will affect them for the rest of their life*.

They will do this to you because they want to help your child. Whether they are right or not is a discussion for another time.

The point is that abdicating parental involvement in a life-altering event for your child is now part of what your signature indicates when you enroll them in kindergarten.

It’s worth considering this, at least, as you have tea and perhaps flip a coin to help choose a schooling option for your children.

And the point of this blogpost? Perhaps every involved parent should seriously consider homeschooling. Now, I do know that homeschooling is not an option for every family. And indeed, this is not the best choice for every family. And even if it were, most families aren’t crazy enough to try it.

God, as a parent Yourself, you empathize with us that parenting is not for the faint of heart. Please help us to confidently decide which schooling option is best for each child this year. Guide us as You see the future and know what is best for each unique child.

Cry for help and you’ll find it’s grace and more grace.

The Message

Do you sense that God may be nudging you toward homeschooling? What makes you want to move in this direction? If you are currently homeschooling and want to quit, we encourage you to keep sailing in the same direction until the skies clear, friend.

Blogpost Footnotes

*Parents from Mongomery County, for example, took the school system to court because “Parents should be in the loop” of a “decision that can have some very life-changing effects – and parents are principally in charge of helping their children through those types of situations.” Source: The Washington Post – Link to the full article