Why You Should Read This Instead of Goal-Setting! AND 10 Funny Things They Said About Homeschooling, Aging, And Love!

January 1, 2026 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Got time to join us for a laugh, friend? (Put the goal-setting pencil aside for a bit.)

a group of people holding glasses of wine

I’m in extended holiday mode, so I’m not (quite) ready yet to set new goals, that I won’t achieve anyway.

However, stay tuned tomorrow (or soon) for how to start the year at a sprinter’s pace! (Though we will already be a bit behind because we are beginning our energetic goal setting a day too late!). Dang!

The new year has barely started, and you’re already a loser!

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

How to catch up and pass everyone else (Or how to at least stay in the race a bit longer) will be discussed tomorrow (or soon)!

“We’re just happy to be here!”

Said Jen and I, to explain why we didn’t want the number of Devil’s Press (NOTICE the name, anyway?) and other exercises recorded that our team completed at the “Competitive-Partner-Get-Fit-Day” at the gym.

Anyway, I hope you also feel encouraged to start your New Year off with a bang of frenzied activity (That you’ll do soon)!

For now, as clearly and thoroughly elaborated in THIS ARTICLE, here is one of our past holiday newsletters to amuse you, while you look around for your pencil today to enthusiastically write out all of your life goals tomorrow!

Now, most homeschooling moms are looking forward to sitting on the couch with a glass of vodka after Christmas.

No, don’t get me wrong! I MEANT a tiny splash of rum in our Christmas eggnog! I am always misunderstood!

But instead of doing that, I wrote this holiday newsletter!

Anyway, it would have been preferable to have one of those lovely family Christmas photos – You know, where everyone is wearing those matching red hats, but who has time to book a photographer, coordinate ridiculously busy schedules, etc.?

This photo (SEE DISCLAIMER!)1 will have to do. We took it tonight, impromptu. Sure, some of us MAY be in costume attire, but this is what we look like. On reflection, elf suits may have been a slight improvement.

In past years, we included memorable quotes from various family members in our New Year / Holiday letters. This year, we include ten quotes on Homeschooling, Aging, and Love. Enjoy!

On Homeschooling

Kyah: “I’ve had a pretty good day so far!” Time: 7:13 am

Andy: After his shower, “Hey! Where was my soap? I couldn’t find it?!!”

Me: “Oh, sorry! Kyah carved it into a turtle and entered it in the fall fair yesterday!”

I mentioned lunch.

Kyah: “Mmm…lunch!”

What she was doing – eating breakfast!

Kyah was having an in-depth Zoom discussion with budding philosophers about the Easter holiday.

Suddenly, a shrill 10-year-old voice from Pennsylvania emanated from the computer, “Well, I think the Easter bunny should go to hell because . . .” An impassioned speech followed. A lot of great learning and critical thinking is in progress!

(She may need a bit more work on theology.)

On Aging

Me: “Where do you want to be in five years?”

Andy: “Where you are…!!!”

Me: (Oh!!)

Kyah: “And I can help you up the stairs!”

Me, thinking: “Will we functionally be 100-year-olds in just five years?”

Andy: “Next June, I will be 50. We should have a massive party.”

Andy remembered that we had a big 1990s party for him when he turned 30. Andy continued, “We can have another 1990s party! We can wear . . . jeans and . . . all the clothes I wear now…” … “and we can listen to … all the music I still listen to now!”

Esther: “I feel so much older now that I am seventeen. It’s a big difference from being sixteen, or fifteen, or fourteen. I don’t know why. Do you think it’s because seventeen has an extra syllable?”

Esther to me: “Whenever I make my hair look like yours, I get compliments. Whenever I wear your clothes, I get compliments.”

Me thinking: “I’m not completely irrelevant, yet!”

On Love

Andy: “I like it when you talk.”

Me: “What??”…(!)

Andy: “Well, most of the time.”

Kyah: “You are the best Mom.”

Me: “Well, thank you, Kyah, but I don’t think that’s true.”

Kyah: “No one is perfect, but you are the best Mom for me.”

And so we may not be perfect, but we are the best people that God put in our lives for each other.

I know that’s true with your family and friends, too!

Happy New Year!

Oh! And I think professional online writers like me are supposed to encourage you, especially on New Years! And so, as this song sings, “. . . make a list and do not make it brief. Write down every single wish and every little thing that you want” (Seriously2?) – Well, good luck with that!

As for me, today I plan on doing a little more skate skiing, enjoying my favorite soup with friends and family, and trying out some of the new board games we received at Christmas.

(And as you write your exhaustive to-do list for the year, remember to keep one ear open to Holy Spirit. You’ll have more luck pursuing the activities God is ushering you into in your next season.) However, to be safe and ensure we are actively setting goals to be like everyone else, we will soon discuss setting not S.M.A.R.T. goals, but S.T.U.P.I.D. goals, to help you even more!

Stay tuned!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit – Happy New Year! by Debra Manny Mosley on Unsplash and It’s Us!

1 DISCLAIMER: My family stays mad at me for longer each time I post embarrassing things about them on the internet lately (It’s not like ALL of the five billion people on the internet read every word!). However, to keep them happy, I deleted the photo of my entire family that accompanied this article. They didn’t want the family photo posted SIMPLY because some of them were wearing dress-up clothes, pajamas, or something (I couldn’t keep track of ALL their complaints). Anyway, good thing you like me!

2 My wants (synonymous with needs, in my case) are a giant bucket without a bottom that would completely consume me as well if I focused too much on them! But whatever works for you!

The Truth About Christmas Sorrow And Joy – It May (Actually) Be The Same Beautiful Gift

December 25, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Got time to open a gift, friend, regardless of the packaging?

Our family got a Christmas tree together in the woods this week, which is a perfect family experience that we (of course) always end up having!

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

Even my doggy helped us find the right tree for us!1

But did we hold hands and sing Christmas carols the entire time, you wonder, with rapt attention?

That wasn’t EXACTLY the case if I’m completely honest, which, of course, I am all of the time when I write online.

In fact, upon careful reflection after this event, at least one person was mad at another almost the entire time! (But not me! I was only mad twice during that whole time! And I was only involved in one of the fights over which Christmas tree to get!)

Other than that (I.e., THEM), we had a wonderful family time!

Reflecting on this experience made me realize that getting a Christmas tree was like a mini microcosm that reflected our entire year2.

This experience also reflects all of our homeschooling times, where joy and sorrow are combined, sometimes even at the same time, and always in the same day.

And so, why is the gift of Christmas sorrow and joy (basically) the same thing? Because we are little bundles of joy and sadness all mixed up together. Both are inside the package of “us” at any one time, if we know where to look.

I’ll illustrate with another example that happened again when we were decorating our tree this morning.

When I was about to hang up the Christmas ornament that reminded me of my dad, who passed away a few years ago, I blurted in uncharacteristic honesty, “You know, I’m sometimes still mad at my dad for dying!” My kids looked at me with their wide, astonished eyes, their Christmas tree ornaments held in mid-air, candy canes about to fall out of their mouths, wondering (with a bit of trepidation, perhaps?) what would come out of my mouth next. But my husband knew that I just needed a hug and a little cry.

And then I was fine again and joined in our after-we-put-up-the Christmas-tree family dance.

Because even on our best vacation, the one where we “get away from it all,” the shadows of sorrow follow us. And even the longest, darkest, most desperate night carries within it the inevitable threat and hope of dawn.

We can never completely release ourselves from either sorrow or joy because we have both within us all the time.

So may our lopsided tree, with a few sparse spots, remind us that the journey to finding Christmas hope isn’t always as straightforward as we would like it to be.

But may we savor the joy of each day, release the sadness when necessary, and anticipate our inevitable transformation that both the gifts of joy and sorrow bring, as we hold the hand of God, put on our ears to hear the voice of Holy Spirit better, and follow Jesus on the next step of our spiritual journeys this season.

Merry Christmas, friend.

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

1 Check out his ridiculously snow-packed paws! He was busy digging up the tree to contribute in his unique way, too! (Like when he barfed that OTHER TIME.)

2 For a COMPLETE, in-depth summary of our year, read more HERE.

8 Funny Things They Said About Love, Homeschooling, And Healthy Food That Will Make You Laugh (At Them)

December 19, 2025December 18, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Pull up a chair and laugh WITH (Wait – AT?!) us, friend!

woman in black and white crew neck shirt smiling

As clearly and thoroughly elaborated in THIS ARTICLE, I require an EXCESSIVE amount of time this holiday season skiing and soaking in a hot tub.

However, given that some of you in the over fifty countries1 who read this drivel (no-STUFF!) can barely function without my constant wisdom flooding your inbox, I will be posting some of our previous Christmas letters here to help you through this season with adequate wisdom and insight to complete the bare minimum of your Christmas activities.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

We enjoy publishing a letter and sending it to all our friends and family for the Holidays.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

Advice: The Best Thing Is To LAUGH! WHY? Because You’re Ridiculous, Too! Oh! And Happy Christmas, Friend!

December 18, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Here Is Our Christmas Letter To Update You On Our Family and Our Year!

Please find our annual holiday “Newsletter1” below!

This is where we update you on our family and share some insightful sayings that our family members shared this year to encourage you! And so, “What happened this year?” You ask? I’m glad you asked!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

Well, our youngest child decided to leave home a year earlier than anticipated.

She’s planning to move out this summer, which sent me into a (SLIGHT!) identity spiral:

“Who am I if I am not a mom homeschooling her kids?”

Luckily, I have been researching starting another Master’s Degree (I’m smarter than I let on) or a certificate, or additional schooling of some sort, to try to claw my way into some sort of cultural significance. (Or should I get more counselling instead to work on the neuroses that drive me? Well, I guess we’ll see whether a year of schooling or a year of therapy is cheaper.)

As long as I have enough going on to keep me busy and distracted, that’s my goal!

So, yes, given my new plans, as described above, for when all the kids move out, everything is great!

Now that we’ve got all that sappy and annoying “real” stuff out of the way, not much has really changed around here.

We putter around a bit. Our kids putter around a bit, do their homeschooling, and then they move out and leave us, one after the other. (That’s FINE! Who cares?). Our animals, a dog and a rabbit, putter around a bit, too, as usual.

That’s about it.

Anyway, without further ado, here are some quotes family members said last year. May you have a good laugh (At our expense?! – WAIT! IF you laugh, EVEN ONCE, MAKE SURE you send us some of the stupid stuff YOU said so we can laugh at you, too!)

Why not?

We’re all ridiculous. We might as well admit it! And then let’s laugh together!

Andy to me: “Yes! I DO want you to come to the hockey game with me! Why? Because I’ll have more fun if you’re there! Everything is better with you. You’re like whipped cream.”

Did I mention that we are celebrating twenty-five years of marriage this year? If you’re marriage is on the rocks, copy and paste what Andy said here to your wife! More marriage advice HERE and HERE and below!

Kyah, as she was about to do math – “Oh wait. I have to get my headset so I can listen to classical music so I won’t cry.”

And so, as you can see, not much changes in our homeschooling rhythms, either! “If you have to cry, go ahead and do it!” is what I say when I homeschool my kids! You can find more helpful homeschooling advice HERE and HERE!

Me to a young man from our church, “You’re a good boy.”

Kyah: “Mom! Why do you talk to him like that! That’s the same way you talk to the dog!”

Young man: “She’s trying to embarrass me, but she ends up embarrassing herself.”

Me: (!)

THE POINT is that not much seems to change with me, either, despite my pouring money into (obviously useless) therapy! However, more articles on how to excel relationally and even to have fun with others can be found HERE and HERE!

Significant changes in our home INCLUDE that our predator (dog) and prey (bunny) ARE changing!

A LOT!

Andy to me: “You are like Cesar Millan. You ARE the dog whisperer.” The dog was peacefully lying at my feet during supper2.

Then Andy said, “I NEVER thought I would say THAT about YOU!”

Me, thinking: “WHY did he have to say that last line?”

However, we can now leave our dog and bunny alone together – unattended! Actually, our bunny gently (but manipulatively) nibbled at the dog’s toes once. Our dog is so sweet and good-natured that the bunny now terrifies the dog when she jumps around the house, asserting her dominance.

(I’m sure there’s some great marriage advice in there somewhere, but I’ll need some careful reflection time to extract it from this life situation. So I may require a lot of time for skiing, relaxing in the hot tub, etc., during this Christmas break. However stay tuned and expectantly anticipate more helpful relationship advice this coming year!)

And so, Merry Christmas! We hope you feel caught up on everything that happened in our lives this year! And we pray God overflows your lives with blessings, as you hang fast to the rope as it swings you through life!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – This is us in a choir that we joined this year. (Maybe new things ARE brewing…?) Do you sense a possible change in the weather, too, friend?

Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

The Message

Don’t you see it, friend?

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

1 News! Hahahahaha!

2 (Because I “dropped” my food.) But why tell everyone that part?

Eyes And Mind More Open To The Surprising, Wonderful Gift Of Remembrance Day / Memorial Day?

November 11, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

white table and chairs on green grass field during daytime

Today is Remembrance Day in Canada, also known as Veterans Day in the USA, and previously referred to as Memorial Day for a similar, earlier holiday.

The best thing about these days (all variations on the same theme) is that they force us to think about . . . wait for it . . . our own individual deaths.

(Sorry for saying it out loud. But good news follows! Keep reading!)

We are the Dead. Short days ago. We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and were loved, and now we lie, in Flanders fields.

Canada’s famous Remembrance Day poem, In Flanders Fields by John McCrae

This thought is the one we close our eyes to and try to forget with movies, popcorn, and laughs with friends, and other healthy distractions.

This thought is one of the ones that bolts us awake at night just before we fall asleep with, “Oh yeah! I’m going to die!”

And then we frantically check our email and update our social media profiles to further distance ourselves from this thought.

“Oh! And what time is it?” Time to run off somewhere else and distract ourselves some more! But what if we sat with some tea and really had a good look at this irritating thing called “Death”?

For example:

We are all rolling the dice every day, wondering if today is the day we meet our maker. Let’s add a little statistical reasoning to our end-of-life dice roll. Why not? What can it hurt? Try it HERE.
Alternatively, we can wait until we are eighty-nine and a half years old to give the thought that “I will die someday” a little ponder, but I’m not sure that’s the best approach.
A wise person thinks a lot about death. Why not swallow the fear and give end-of-life a little think-through, friend?

Oh! And I almost forgot to say that there is joy after the fear!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.

Jesus Christ – The Guy Almost 1/3 Of The People On Earth Claim To Follow 1

Photo Credit – Me, Too, One Day? Right! I Almost Forgot! by Selena Morar on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 The guy might we worth listening to sometimes!

How Not To Be A Jerk When You Homeschool AND How To Have An Awesome Year!

September 2, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I have already written my best advice on this topic HERE, where I clearly explain that the way to sidestep being a complete JERK is to PRETEND to be someone you’re not.

Today, we continue the same theme with more helpful advice on how to NOT be a jerk when you Homeschool.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

I learned many of these lessons from my (failed) efforts to train my dog, and let’s face it, we all know that the lessons we learn from shepherding our pets can be directly applied without any variation at all to lessons about God and parenting.

I was running behind my dog, yelling STOP again as the door opened and a visitor stared wide-eyed as our tiny goldendoodle pounced toward him, intent on humping his leg (again). I chased the dog around the yard hollering at him to behave while our visitor watched, which is the usual routine whenever someone knocks on our door. I finally catch the dog and then explain that our dog had a bad night’s sleep, or an upset stomach, so that’s why he didn’t obey today, AS HE USUALLY DOES, OF COURSE.

So yeah, dog training is EXACTLY like parenting.

Which gently directs this conversation very naturally into parenting advice.

So, how do we not long to give up altogether on this Homeschooling adventure and toss them into public school and hope for the best, even though it may only be our first month or day of Homeschooling?

An excellent question, and that is the topic of today’s newsletter.

Here are my top three recommendations (with four more recommendations in the following newsletter) containing my best advice on how to have a fantastic time Homeschooling:

Try to be someone else. See HERE or the first few paragraphs of this newsletter. (Note to my editor: Yes! I could edit this newsletter so that all of my advice is in one list, but editing is boring, and I have my Duo-lingo streak to maintain, in addition to this writing! I’m busy!)
Have VERY low expectations. Most people have problems with Homeschooling simply because their expectations are too high. Looking to have a GREAT year (or even day) Homeschooling? We experienced Homeschooling ones are laughing our guts out, and the reason why is explained HERE. When your kids cry a bit, grab yourself a martini and read a magazine for a while until that passes! It’s just another Homeschooling day, friends!
Keep the big picture in mind – This is why you have a manifesto. Then you can remember that playing Snakes and Ladders IS your top priority! (See the last bullet in Point #3 of THIS MANIFESTO for an explanation). She is your best friend, so squeeze moments of joy out of every moment someone isn’t crying, friend!

Join us next time for four more tips on having the best Homeschooling year you can (which means not a perfect year or that every day is fantastic, but we got through it, friends, and that’s what matters most!) Oh! I almost forgot the following quote!

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. . . So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the . . . help.

The Message

So enjoy your transformation because you’ll find that many of your sharp edges fall off as you Homeschool because you will have to return to God on your knees, asking for help every day. (Do that too! It helps!)

A butterfly is flying over a piece of wood

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – Mom Not Having The Best Day by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash, Butterfly by Lin Qiu Yi Wan on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Surprise! A Little Extra Joy Is The Thing That Can Be Extracted After Porcupines Quill Us!

June 11, 2025June 11, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Today’s newsletter consists of two parts:

Part 1 – A story (about ME!!!) – Written by my daughter, Esther!

Part 2 – An explanation (also by ME!) of why I randomly thought of porcupines after reading this!

Additional profound extrapolations of the text (by ME! – Of course!) are in the footnotes!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Part 1: Story by Esther

Sparse and invisible rain floats gently from the sky, sometimes merging on the skin or the pavement as several droplets.

The speckled street gives way to the cars that cruise amiably down it.

There is no rush in this town; there is a sense of welcome and leisure despite busy schedules and people filled with excitement for the day. Everyone knows everyone else by name, and even if one wanted to stay anonymous, one could not. The small businesses are like people; each one has their personality.

Or perhaps it is due to the lack of stores that each of them stands out all the more brightly.

One couple meanders down the street, hand in hand.

He is tall and strong, but his face radiates gentleness, and his laughter shows not only on his face but also in his eyes. The woman1 mirrors many of the same features, but her eyes gleam with a fire of intensity not commonly found. Despite this, her kindness (See Footnote 1) is evident in the smile lines around her mouth and her loving (See Footnote 1) eyes.

Woe unto the person who stumbles across the man’s path while he is hungry.

And woe unto the person who stumbles across the woman’s path when the woman is tired.2 Yet, they grow together. They challenge each other. They fight the battles of life together, side by side. They complement each other (See Footnote 1) with a bond made one of the strongest in the world.

The couple passes by the library, a place steeped in magic.

It is a chest that holds the secrets of life and beauty, and its key is given generously, though not many take it. Those who deem it ridiculous are those who refuse the key, but to the one who graciously takes it, wonders are in store. The couple’s two children are currently there, for the couple sees their melancholy dog sitting patiently outside, waiting for someone to pet him. He gets up and furiously wags his tail, assured that this means he is finally going home. After reassuring the dog that they would be back soon and trying to ignore the forsaken and betrayed look in his eyes, the couple wanders up the steps and into the library.

There they find a friend and exchange greetings. The man is asked about his work. His hands, though gentle and unassuming, have ministered to and helped thousands, but by his humble3 nature, he never boasts.

His wife, who stands beside him, is just as accomplished (See Footnote 1), with a heart for the betterment of people’s lives (See Footnote 1) and a passion for the preservation of the planet (See Footnote 1).

She sacrificed her career (See Footnote 1) for her children’s careers, homeschooling and helping them find what interests and motivates them. Sometimes, they drive her crazy. Well, maybe it’s a lot of the time. And sometimes she drives them crazy, too (See Footnote 2). Perhaps it is God growing everyone’s patience4.

The couple breaks away from the conversation and finds their children immersed in their books and hesitant to leave.

The family checks out their stacks of literature and heads to the car, picking up the relieved5 dog on the way. The car slowly pulls out and heads leisurely home. There’s no rush. Or, maybe there is because now the man is hungry.

Part 2: Random Thoughts Including: Porcupine Quills Can Eventually Bring Joy! by Me

I think of porcupines who quill each other when I think of this story. For example, I am mad at my daughter for writing things that are BLATANT lies about me and that don’t make me look as stupendous as I know I am deep down! Anyway, we (for example – HER) each come with our own set of quills, like porcupines, and we accidentally and purposefully (sometimes) quill each other and even ourselves. I.e., Remember when “the man” in the story above gets hungry? Watch out!

However, being quilled by porcupines (ironically) promotes our healing.

Why?

Because in our inevitable relational pain (that THEY cause), we finally draw near to God, who has been calling out and wooing us our entire lives.

And so, as we bring our faces full of another’s (and our own?) quills, God can use this situation to heal US, as He lovingly tends to each quill, sometimes removing it immediately and sometimes giving us healing oil and the strength to persevere.

And we can rest in the confidence of knowing that we are loved by each other (They HAVE TO love you!) and by God.

And this is where we find joy.

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy

Ancient Text

Photo Credit – Porcupine by Derek Otway on Unsplash

Footnotes

1 Author of this blog’s note – This is ME! She is talking about ME in this story! That’s how you know I’m famous and important, by the way!!!

2 WAIT – WHA…? I thought she only said NICE stuff about me in public! I’m going to ground her to her room for a month! But wait – she’s flying back to her job and University tomorrow!

3 WHY didn’t she call ME humble? Now I’m even madder! I thought she knew me SO well! (See Footnote 1). Obviously, I see now that she understands NOTHING about me!

4 AMEN!

5 Does she mean “about to pee?”

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Empower Yourselves, Parents! New Science Proves Teens DON’T Actually Have To Be Jerks!

May 1, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

a woman in a black hoodie talking on a cell phone

Of course, we all expect our teen children to hate us, be embarrassed around us, talk down about us to their friends, and find every way they can to show that they are rebelling against everything we stand for as the authority figures in their lives.

We wag our fingers at them and say, “YOU SHOULD do this or that!” even though we didn’t do this or that when we were their age, and getting up off the couch to talk to our kids is hard for us sometimes because our snacks and our devices call us to do more important things.

What if there is a different reality to parenting?

Even if we’ve rolled up our sleeves over the last nearly two decades and gotten “Good Parent Points” on our clipboards for throwing balls with our kids, giving them birthday parties, and teaching them to drive, what if even then, deep down, we still expect our teens to be embarrassed around us, spend as little time with us as possible and talk disrespectfully about us behind our backs until they are finally “Free.”

What if the expectations we have of our teens are too small?

It turns out they are.

Check out this NEW1 research.

Lecture 17 of Your Best Brain: The Science of Brain Improvement by John Medina says:

“[The scientist] makes several important observations about the powerful effect of culture [on teens] . . . [He] points to a study . . . looking at adolescent behaviour in 186 pre-industrialized societies. The research did NOT find lots of classic impulsive, obnoxious, get me away from my parent’s teenage behaviour in ALL of them. In fact, they found the opposite. More than half the young males exhibited no rebellious behaviour at all. Teens in these cultures spent most of their time hanging around their parents. They often helped with the chores both in family and in broader social activities”.

We saw an example of this kind of teen culture in reality at the homeschooling conference we recently attended.

It was a culture shock because not all the teens were jerks!

Consider the following:

(1) At the homeschooling family barn dance (Can I stop there?) . . .

(2) In which parents and all ages of family members, including teens, danced in the same big hall (Can I stop there?) . . .

(3) Often a very young child would join in the fray. Partners switched every few seconds sometimes, in a (deliberately) Jane Austen style. EVERY SINGLE TEENAGE BOY that I saw whose turn it was to dance with the 3-year-old, hunched down, smiled and spun the little girl in time to the music. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Watching teen after teen do this was so sweet – It made me tear up.

(4) These are not the teens skulking in corners, hoping for a chance to get outside and smoke more pot.

Entering this homeschooling culture, even through reading this newsletter, may be enough to destroy culturally low expectations of today’s teens.

Check out this site for teens for another example: The Rebelution – Rebelling Against Low Expectations

So friend, now that you feel empowered to refuse low expectations of your teens, I recommend you go home, yell at your kids, throw some stuff around the house and make your point VERY clear that now you KNOW they don’t HAVE to be jerks anymore!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

After that advice, consider asking God how you may need to throw out the way that you see that child and see them instead through the glasses that God gives you, the way He sees that child.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

The Message

Oh, and by the way, the expectations of the Father for your life are greater than you imagine for yourself, too.

Do you have time for coffee and fresh vision?

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: Teen by Микола Тонкодуб on Unsplash, Barn Dance From Logos Online School Website

1This book by John Medina is over 10 years old, but “New” is a relative term, and let’s admit that we all have forgotten half the stuff we need to know to do well in life, anyway! Related, consider the following quote:

If you want a new idea, read an old book.

Ivan Pavlov

This quote proves that you have no idea what you are doing, either, as you parent your kids, and any information, whether new OR old, will help you!

Overwhelm Threatening To Suffocate = This One Surprising Opportunity

January 23, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Head in hands again. Trying to shut out the noise. The kids with their needs swirling around me.

We are homeschooling in February.

Continuing this thankless task in February becomes my annual despair, one shared with all homeschooling families (Except for the perfect families we all hate. Don’t feel jealous. They’ll crash and burn out too. I’ve been homeschooling for a while, so I’ve seen a few things.)

If you are not homeschooling in February, what is your despair?

We all have the odd despair that tries to attach itself to us like an unwelcome leech.

Anyway, I sat on the couch, my overwhelm consuming me. Do I declare (another) fun day and take the kids cross-country skiing?

Should we call all our homeschooling friends and organize (another) hockey party on the free outdoor ice rink?

Do I give them as much “independent work” as I can and try to tackle the mess of stuff in the basement, the pile that seems to have acquired a life of its own and that roars at me as I pass like a Yeti in the basement?

Or do I confront the emotions in my heart that are spilling out onto the couch next to me, a mess I am trying to hide but that is emerging despite my best efforts to pretend I am confidently steering this homeschooling ship?

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to hide behind the fun. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that our home is so disorganized that we can no longer find pencils to do our math. Or that no one cares. “I like using a green crayon to do my math, Mommy!” she asserts.

She is not trying to make me feel better. She is genuinely happy. Her needs are met.

And mine?

“I’m not worried about the kids,” my husband would assert. “I’m worried about you.”

So I offer you tea and a listening ear, dear friend, and ask:

How are you?

Not how are your kids?

Not how is the state of your home (We know it’s a disaster. You homeschool!)

How are you?

People who suppress feelings experience less positive and more negative emotions.

APA PsycNet

And then your tears, and your head in hands, and I put my arm around you to comfort you.

And as we:

Admit to first ourselves and then another, through our tears, that all is not well . . .
And after we put the ridiculous plans we cling to for creating super kids off the shelves of our egos . . .
After we slow down and watch our kids learn for a while (Healthy plants in healthy soil grow. Similarly, healthy kids in a healthy environment learn, even and especially when we don’t beat them with rods to “encourage” them to know exactly what WE want) . . .
Then we’re finally ready…

For what, you ask?

To learn the one most important lesson that overwhelm teaches us, which is that:

When we feed ourselves with unhealthy food, our tummies won’t feel very good for a while.

However, This is GOOD NEWS because we can go to the store and buy carrots today!

And how does this relate to homeschooling, for example?

If you follow the crowd and eat whatever they eat (50% highly processed foods), your tummy will get a bit upset afterward. Similarly, if you follow the crowds and set up your homeschool to mimic public school goals, for example, you’ll find that burnout is as certain as feeling bad after eating an entire box of Oreos.

Overwhelm is the blaring red light that tells us that letting our minds and actions drift with the crowd isn’t a healthy option.

There is a better way, friend, and overwhelm, our teacher and friend, unlocks a higher path.

More on the first step of HOW to get out of overwhelm next time.

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Image Credits: Man Upset by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash, Bird Soaring by Kshithij Chandrashekar on Unsplash

Advice: Your Bridge To Hope After Your Kid Moves Out

January 16, 2025 / Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

green trees near brown wooden bridge during daytime

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

I’m mad at you! At all of you with a child over seventeen years old who left home! I hate you all! Why didn’t you tell me it would be this hard to say goodbye when they left for college!?

And all of you with babies too, babies that are older than my oldest baby, I hate you all too!

Before we had babies, why didn’t you tell us that looking after babies would be so hard!?

Ah, yes . . .

It is because we wouldn’t have believed you even if you would have spoken up.

And if our teens truly understood the depth of our loss, many of these kids wouldn’t leave home. They are good kids. I relayed these thoughts to my husband, processing them aloud through my tears.

“And we want them to leave,” I cried out. “Yes, we do,” my husband comforted. Then he shoots me a sideways, knowing look. I remembered that this morning, our teen was DEFINITELY right when she was DEFINITELY wrong, and instead of bursting into tears, I burst into laughter.

I feel some joy mixed with some sorrow.

And so, “Goodbye!” we say as we wave.

Except it’s not kindergarten, and they are heading to school on a bus. We homeschooled, so we missed that milestone. It’s 600 km away, and the tearing, the necessary, painful cleaving continues.

Reflecting God’s nature, He created them male and female. . . Therefore, a [person] leaves his father and mother

The Message

I told you it would be that way, Jesus reminds me softly. Many years earlier, in prayer, Jesus showed me a picture of my daughters, one after the other, ready to board a plane to soar off on their journeys of independence. He began preparing my heart to say goodbye many years ago, even then.

Many of us homeschooling parents pushed the love boundary of our hearts a little further than expected when we cracked open those brand new math texts on day one of homeschooling.

The depth of love surprises us all and surpasses the boundary markers we set up to protect ourselves. If we love what we know, we will get to know these kids, and our love for them will transform us. Love always does.

I’m not saying that homeschooling is one domino after the other of perfect days.

I have homeschooled for 4,745 days (I’m convinced you don’t have enough math skills to figure out how many years I have spent homeschooling- Who does?). Of those days, I have NEVER yet had one perfect day.

Nope.

Not one. Just daily joy mixed with daily sorrow. Master storyteller J.R.R. Tolkien explains it this way:

The possibility of [sorrow and failure] is necessary to the joy of deliverance . . . giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

And so saying goodbye to the teen as she flies off to college is just another homeschooling day: some joy mixed with some sorrow.

We are used to that. We’ve gotten stronger over the years. It’s just another part of the daily homeschooling rhythm.

We will be ready because we have been practicing daily for this: some joy and some sorrow, repeat tomorrow.

We’re going to be OK.

And so, as we watch them soar, we nurse our grief a little and then flap our baby wings and listen for the call from Him into a new adventure.

And in the same way that we invest in our future by putting aside a few dollars each month, is He asking us to invest in our spiritual future by putting aside a few minutes each day to listen to Him calling us, comforting us, asking us to set aside the old, and to pick up the new?

How is he calling you to wake up?

Where to next, God?

I can’t quite fly yet, but I am sensing another adventure.

Yes, I’ll follow!

(How about you?)