What if I am in a box, but the box is too small for me? I push on every side, but no luck. I remain, for the rest of my days, perhaps, encased in something that contains me, squeezes me.

After a while, like shoes that are too tight that have been worn for a long, long, time, we cease to notice the pain. It feels normal.

Jesus was calling me, wooing me out of the box I had squeezed myself into. Like a safety blanket, the box held me close, and comforted me somehow, in an unhealthy, painful way.

He leaned down and put his head close to the opening of the box. Come, He bid me, metaphorically. His eyes reflected and deepened my pain. He held out His hand to me. Would I follow?

I hadn’t noticed that the box was open. But like those who have been imprisoned for too long, their eventual freedom scares them. They long to be imprisoned again, and may even commit an offence to return to their prison cell.

Freedom is just too scary. It’s comfortable here, we reason.

But I listened to Him recently. I gently clasped His hand, but then struggled, letting go of his hand after a brush with discouragement.

I tried again. He waited patiently for me, encouraging me. Come. Try again, He seemed to beckon, his arm outstretched. So I did.

And now I am free of that box. I can stand, dance and move around now.

I am in a new box now, but one that is bigger. He is beckoning me still, however, to come, to come out of the new box I have created for myself.

I am more free, yes, and this is good, He seems to be saying, joy in His eyes. But more freedom awaits, He seems to be saying. I made you to fly.

Who will give me wings,” I ask— “wings like a dove?” Get me out of here on dove wings.

The Message

And this description that I have written today is the spiritual side of the story. The human side of the story, like the other side of the same coin, the part that is easier to talk about, is my journey of learning to fast, to abstain for a time from food.

Sometimes in doing what we don’t want to do, in fasting, or in stepping out of the box we have created for ourselves, we finally are a bit more free.

Our vision expands when we fly.

Do you also feel you are stuck in a box? If so, as the song below plays, and after a few minutes of thanksgiving, consider asking Holy Spirit: What is one step I can take to find my way out of this box, and test my wings?