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So I woke up this morning in a tizzy. A tizzy of frenetic brain activity. Some might even be so low as to assume that someone of my high spiritual caliber was struggling with worry.
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I poured out my heart to my empathetic husband, tenderly giving him glimpses and opening my heart to him this morning, as we sat next to each other, coffees in hand, neither of us quite awake yet.
His sensitivity to me pouring out my bleeding heart in front of him was on full display, evidenced by what he said next.
He said only two words: “YOU? Worry?”
Wait. Was that mock surprise? Could that (possibly!) be sarcasm in his voice?
No, it couldn’t be!
But was that a slight smile on the corner of his lips that he couldn’t quite repress? Impossible. But, yes, I do find myself worrying a smidge about a few things (every day).
Was he making fun of me?
Well, maybe, but sometimes that’s what we need each other for. In this case, however, he was wrong. AS IF I’m the kind of person who worries every day!
Well, my editor says I need to be more honest as I write articles, so there might be a twinge of truth in what he hinted at.
And when I went upstairs to my prayer room to begin my day (See! I AM spiritual! I don’t care what they say!), I wondered if Jesus would agree with my husband that I tend to worry a smidge more than necessary.
“Oh, you of little faith,” is the thought that comes immediately to mind, on repeat, whenever my mind quiets or when I begin my prayers lately.
I think this is a term of endearment in how God speaks to me with these words, but you can interpret them however you like. (If you have even less faith than I do, for example, you might take the words literally.1 ) Then, I wondered if Holy Spirit was perhaps reminding me to number each of my worries and then to lift each one to Him, one by one.
Yeah, I know this kind of stuff.2
#1 – I listed a problem. I lifted my problem to God. “What did I already say?” was what I seemed to be reminded of in my heart. Oh yeah! Holy Spirit had already been nudging me towards action in that area.
#2 – I listed another problem. I remembered that God has the whole world in His hands, and so if my hands aren’t big enough to hold the world, that’s okay. He’s got this.
#3 – Etc., Etc.,
“I got out of worry!” I jubilantly announced as I walked downstairs later that morning.
My husband didn’t look up from his phone.
My daughter didn’t notice me.
My dog, however, looked up at me, expectantly, tail wagging. At least my dog wanted to hear what I had to say! (Or maybe he really wanted breakfast?)
My (human) family was less impressed with my newfound wisdom and clarity because this is what happens often (more often than I care to admit, actually).
I accidentally take on all the cares and worries of the world on my back, again.
It feels amazing to me (swapping a twinge of suffocating anxiety for a smidge of sanity), but it happens every time that I remember to do this exercise.
So my family simply ignores me. This ritual has become a part of the mundane. But it is a transformative mundane, nonetheless.
And that has some sort of value.
“You aren’t solely responsible for the entire cause of and solution for climate change,” was one of the thoughts that clarified my thinking in the prayer room one morning. True story! And so I could live a little freer, with a little more joy.
I remembered some stuff that I already knew, but I had forgotten again.
And I’ll probably have to do that tomorrow. And the next day, too. And probably every day.
Are you feeling a bit heavy today? As the song below mentions the lilies and sings, “if I listen closely, I can hear her sing to me,” try numbering your worries, one by one, lifting them to a God who loves you and loves the world and has a plan for you. What do you sense in your heart as you do this today, friend? And I pray you will also soar (like me!).
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
. . . when you yield to the life of the Spirit . . . you will . . . be . . . soaring
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credits: Carrying The Cares Of The World, Too? (That’s Too Hard A Way To Be Amazing) by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash, Why Not Soar, Little Ducks? by Rachel Fang on Unsplash
1 Ha! Spiritual neophyte!
2 I just sometimes forget stuff I once knew.
Restoring Life 