Spiritual Growth

How To LOVE Practicing The Healthy Habits You Currently Hate! (Healthy Habits Part 1)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Last time I discussed Ten Keystone Habits that allowed me to stay within my recommended weight range my entire life.

I know, I know. At first glance, these habits seem hard, terrible, uninviting. These habits, if you actually did them all, would kill you, you assume.

To prove you wrong (and why else would we write?) I will be starting a series of blog posts on healthy habits.

These posts will outline how you too, can learn to LOVE practicing healthy habits OR how to at least delude yourself into thinking you enjoy healthy habits. What’s the difference?

First of all, it’s good to know yourself and understand what motivates you. I’m actually the kind of person, for example, who hates it when people tell me what to do.

I figured this out one afternoon when I was frothing at the mouth and making myself some tea. “How DARE they tell me when to drink this tea?”, I thought, fuming. “I’ll drink it in the afternoon instead, just to spite them!” The tea was called English BREAKFAST tea. BREAKFAST.

I guess you’re supposed to drink it at BREAKFAST. How dare they!

Ok, so I know I should probably get counselling about this. And I do get counselling but my hard-working counsellor hasn’t gotten this far down the list of priority items that I need remediation for yet.

I know I could have been, actually a lot more successful in life if I had taken people’s advice a little more easily. You can check out my daughter’s blog for that. For example, in this post, she mentions some stuff she learned from me. I’m sure she’ll go far.

Anyway, we are what we are.

Therefore, none of these Ten Keystone Habits are things you CAN’T do. If I had habits that forced me to NOT do certain things, I’d rather not live, okay?!

This blog post series will describe how to ENJOY the healthy habits that help us maintain a healthy weight, and allow us to have more energy to complete the calling God has for each of our lives. (This stuff matters more than we realize).

For example, check out this ancient quote:

Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I’ve warned you of them many times; sadly, I’m having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ’s Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

The Message

What more can be said than that?

The second post in this Healthy Habits series, How To LOVE Drinking Nothing But Water! will be posted soon!

Mourning Together With Coyotes Is Healthy

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

My dog is smarter than he looks.

I mean, he doesn’t look that smart when the fire engine or the coyotes are howling outside, and our dog howls along with them.

Does he not know he is not a fire truck? Or a coyote?

But he is definitely smarter than he looks.

For example, once on a walk, I suddenly heard coyotes howling very close to us. (There is a real world outside of LA where actual trees and flowers exist!).

I quickly grabbed onto his leash. I was certain my fluffy mini-golden doodle would head for the middle of the pack and howl along with them, making his dog dreams a reality (Being called a “doodle” is never cool in coyote society. Being called “fluffy” doesn’t help either. Or “mini.”)

But instead, tail between his legs, he hunkered down and ran home, me stumbling along behind him.

When we got safely inside, and he was protected by a locked door, he opened his mouth wide, and howled in freedom, just one of the pack.

He somehow knew that the coyotes would eat him if they got a chance. But that didn’t stop him from also knowing that mourning with others is healthy.

I feel the same way actually.

I know I will never be accepted into a pack of coyotes.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to learn to mourn, to lament in my community with the freedom of a coyote.

“. . . weep with those who weep” Ancient Text

You may think you’ve heard coyotes wail because you watched a John Wayne movie once, but the lamenting, prolonged howl of a group of coyotes is really nothing like that.

Coyotes send shivers down your spine when you hear them mournfully wailing.

You kind of think they’ll shut up after a few minutes but they don’t. It can go on for hours, sometimes in the middle of the day.

“What in the world are they crying about?” I finally wondered.

Coyotes mourn in packs in the fall, when a younger coyote sets off on his own. (I read that on the internet*.)

And so this is what we can learn from coyotes:

1. They mourn together as a group and out loud.

2. They mourn about one thing, and then gracefully interweave their sadness to other stuff that is also breaking their little hearts. (Give me a break here – I know we can’t read the minds of coyotes, but this is my interpretation of what they’re saying. Do you have a better idea of what coyotes think about when they mourn in the fall? No, I thought not!)

3. This grieving process helps them. I mean most of the time coyotes are pretty well-adjusted, right? 50% of them are not sucking back Prozac or the equivalent, like us humans. Maybe we can learn from them.

I’ll explain what we can learn next time.

* Scientific Information Source

The Nature Conservancy: “There’s also a lot of contradictory information – and complete nonsense – written about coyotes.”

Blogpost Footnotes

No! I’m not a coyote-ologist or whatever that’s called. No! I’ve never even studied coyotes. Why do you ask?

Oh! I did read a really funny Canadian classic book once called Never Cry Wolf, and wolves are sort of like coyotes, I think. Does that count?

Anyway, I know the next blog post outlining what I’ve learned from coyotes will help you.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Everyone Can Find Their Best Friend On The Internet!

/ Lori Lawe / 1 Comment

More and more people like me! What I mean, of course, is that some of my posts have gotten “likes”! That means you like me, right? I tried to “like” your “like” of my post to show you that I like you, too. My daughter, who is all Wise, because she, like all teenagers, has exceptional skills at “liking” things, says you can’t like someone’s “like”. I did “like” my own post once, which says that I like myself, I think, which is not unrelated.

What was I saying? Oh, yes! You seem to like me!! And since you like me, that means you are my friend!!

And since you are my friend, that means that I can call you at 2 AM when I can’t sleep so you can listen to my (real or perceived) problems! That’s what friends do, right?

So can you please send me your phone number? Thanks.

(Oh, and you want my phone number, so I can listen to you? Whaat?) Since so many people spend time liking me, you can’t expect me to have any time to listen to your problems!

This is a one-way street and I like it that way. Thank you very much.

(Wow. People are so needy nowadays.)

Seriously, members of this blog (so far, just me) meet to pray and listen to each other, and there may be someone who also attends one of these meetings, who is outward-focused enough to listen to (some) of your neuroses, IF we’ve spent enough time working through the nuances of my neuroses, of course.

You’re welcome!

. . . speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. The Message

Seriously, (and this is the real Lori Lawe speaking, not the super neurotic persona I use as the voice of this blog. Why is that voice coming out of me when I write anyway??) Huh. Anyway… As mentioned here, distraction can sometimes solve our problems, but when that doesn’t work, Jesus is waiting, patiently, like a true friend waiting for you, to listen to you at a coffee shop even though you’re late again. He longs to hear what’s on your heart.

whisper . . .

And may you find the best friend ever, maybe even on the internet, friend.

Every Homeschooling Parent Will Be Ready To Wave Goodbye To Their Teen

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I’m mad at you! At all of you with a child more than 17 years old who left home! I hate you all! Why didn’t you tell me it would be this hard to say goodbye when they left for college!?

And all of you with babies too, babies that are older than my oldest baby, I hate you all too! Before we had babies, why didn’t you tell us that looking after babies would be so hard!?

Ah, yes . . .

It is because we wouldn’t have believed you even if you would have spoken up.

And if our teens truly understood the depth of our loss, many of these kids wouldn’t leave home. They are good kids. I relayed these thoughts to my husband, processing them aloud through my tears.

“And we want them to leave,” I cried out. “Yes, we do,” my husband comforted. Then he shoots me a sideways, knowing look. I remembered that this morning our teen was definitely right when she was definitely wrong and instead of bursting into tears, I burst into laughter.

I feel some joy mixed with some sorrow.

And so, “Goodbye!” we say as we wave. Except it’s not kindergarten they are heading off to on a bus. We homeschooled so we missed that milestone. It’s 600 km away and the tearing, the necessary, painful cleaving continues.

Reflecting God’s nature He created them male and female. . . Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother . . . The Message

I told you it would be that way, Jesus reminds me softly. Many years earlier, in prayer, Jesus showed me a picture of my daughters, one after the other, ready to board a plane, to soar off on their journeys of independence. He was preparing my heart to say goodbye many years ago, even then.

Many of us homeschooling parents pushed the love boundary of our hearts a little further than expected when we cracked open those brand new math texts on day one of homeschooling.

The depth of love surprises us all, and surpasses the boundary markers we set up to protect ourselves.

If we love what we know, then we will get to know these kids and our love for them will transform us, them. Love always does.

I’m not saying that homeschooling is one domino after the other of perfect days. I have homeschooled for 4,745 days (I’m convinced you don’t have enough math skills to figure out how many years I have spent homeschooling- Who does?). Out of all those days, I have NEVER yet had one perfect day.

Nope. Not one.

Just daily joy mixed with daily sorrow.

Master storyteller J.R.R. Tolkien explains it this way:

The possibility of [sorrow and failure] is necessary to the joy of deliverance . . . giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

And so saying goodbye to the teen as she flies off to college is just another homeschooling day: some joy mixed with some sorrow. We are used to that. We’ve gotten stronger over the years. It’s just another part of the daily homeschooling rhythm.

We will be ready because we have been practicing every day for this: some joy and some sorrow, repeat tomorrow.

We’re going to be OK.

And so as we watch them soar, we nurse our grief a little, and then flap our baby wings and listen for the call from Him into a new adventure.

And in the same way that we invest in our future by putting aside a few dollars each month, is He asking us to invest in our spiritual future by putting aside a few minutes each day to listen to Him calling us, comforting us, asking us to set aside the old, and to pick up the new?

How is he calling you to wake up?

Where to next God?

I can’t quite fly yet but I am sensing another adventure.

Yes, I’ll follow!

(How about you?)

How to Have A Well-Watered Spiritual Backyard

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Is it just me or does anyone else find this sign hilarious? If you look carefully at the background, the thought does come to my mind that perhaps this isn’t the best place to advertise for a lush lawn and consistent irrigation. And how is our our backyard measuring up, before we spout off to others the ways we can help?

When are we speaking confidently, forcefully, as if we know what we are talking about when we should be getting out our ears, polishing them up a little, turning up the volume and re-affixing them so that their input can reach our brains?

When do I take off my ears and loud mouth when I should be asking questions? This is the question that the photo above blares at me, as if through a loudspeaker.

Today, in the prayer meeting, she mentioned how we can have the equivalent of pebbles in our shoes. Little annoyances that after we have been walking for a long, long time without a reset, will significantly impede our journeys.

Is it time for a rest? Time to allow another to listen to us, to lean against them as we rest, to catch our balance, and to remove the rock from our shoe, so that we can walk straight again?

Is it time to stop figuring out how to carry another’s burdens, and to relieve our hearts to a trusted friend?

I took her up on her offer and prayed aloud the concern that had been nagging at my heart. Not an earth-shattering prayer, no. Nothing about world peace, or global reform. Just a little concern about someone I love that has been weighing me down.

A pebble in my shoe.

And she took care of it. Gave me some clean socks in her prayer that echoed my heart. A few tears were shed. She offered me some water from her canteen.

We continued our journeys, her and I, each one travelling our own way, down slightly different paths. Our paths will merge again, and reconnect, but perhaps not until the next prayer meeting.

But until next time, next week, I got a little rest.

I felt better somehow, as we joined our heads and hearts together to pray about our unwatered lawns and shabby-looking backyards. It’s ok. God is growing a garden there, and he wants to grow flowers in the gardens of the people that we encounter, as well, as we are honest with others about our desolate backyards.

And I was comforted to remember the way to fix a broken irrigation system, a dry or non-existent lawn. The solution is to grab hold of a friend’s hand and to pray together, over that dry spot. To keep holding on when she shows you a dry area in her lawn.

To stop and pray together for a while, that the rains will come before we travel our own paths.

Sure beats trying to hide the truth, which is obvious to all who look carefully at my life, anyway.