I was spinning in circles, putting up a decoration on the tree with one revolution, beating back my dog in the daily effort of chaos management, who was sneaking licks of the Christmas pudding, again, trying to find my worst, ugliest Christmas sweater in time for the curling party, while still spinning the plates that keep our lives circling round and round – food prep, clean up, laundry, and then the alarm rang in the early hours of the winter dark to do it all again.
I felt a spiritual pull to learn more and delve deeper into divine mysteries.
But I also wanted to travel.
Suddenly, my brain figured out the answer of how to merge the following heart’s cries for:
– spiritual digging into the depths
– travel
– figuring out which direction to go next
“I know!” my brain thought. “I will go to the ends of the earth and tell people all about Jesus!”
I stopped for a moment to pray, seeking my blue ribbon and crowns (that I would throw to the ground in humility before God if I received – of course!). God said,
NO
A firm NO.
Instead, it seemed He was suggesting I go to a center of learning, learn a bit more about Him, get out my pen and paper and sort out my thoughts to eventually delete the thoughts that didn’t align with the character of Jesus.
“Sounds like a drag!” I thought.
But I searched online for something that would meet both my desires and the direction it seemed God was directing me (Aren’t I spiritual and obedient? Did you NOTICE my willingness to follow God where He leads? Subtle clue there that you have MUCH to learn from me!)
Anyway, I compromised with God and found a spiritual school that was:
– In Costa Rica (fun!)
– In Spanish (Why not learn a language on the side?)
– And yes.. the other stuff God wanted – a place to learn more about God, yada yada.
So I waved goodbye to Canada and flew to Costa Rica, where I began with a month of intensive language training, several hours each day, in a small room in downtown San Jose.
I did have a BIT (Slight – a SMALL amount) to learn about God before I opened my mouth and spewed my slightly wrong “wisdom” for all to see! (Good thing I got that out of the way way back then! That’s how you know that now you can trust me implicitly, by the way).
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
How is God leading you, friend? Do you have a hook in your nose and are following where it seems your desires are leading you, even if it’s to the death of your growth and joy or something else that should be important to you? If so, this isn’t the gentle guidance of God.
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head.
As the song below plays, and after a moment of thankfulness, consider asking God which direction He may be leading you. If it is the opposite direction to where you thought you were headed, can you speak with a trusted friend to help sort out the knots in your heart and life so that you are taking God’s best steps for you towards the life of abundant fruit He so longs to give to you?
Sometimes, God says the same things over and over.
It’s because we’re too dumb or deaf or arrogant to hear the first time.
That’s ok!
He repeats it! Maybe we’ll bother to pick up the words that will heal us this time! When we pick them up and insert these words into our ears, the peace and joy are like beautiful music!
This reminds me of the point of this post – God sometimes speaks through music, and when we stoop to pick up the words He dropped and put them into our ears, we often find joy and a song to dance to.
Take this song:
This song spoke to me in the same way the other song did in the last post, in these three ways:
1.The sun shines on every patch of ground of earth.
Lyric from Who Am I by NEEDTOBREATHE: You won’t let go
God won’t let go of us – of me, of you, regardless of what we have done, haven’t done, what we have seen or have failed to see.
This is hope, friend.
2. Winter carries the promise of spring.
Lyric from Who Am I by NEEDTOBREATHE: You grow your roses in my barren soil
3. Surrendering the throne of my life to its rightful owner, to God, instead of to the insecure, bossy child (me), is what releases life.
Lyric from Who Am I by NEEDTOBREATHE: I push you away, but you won’t let go
Sometimes, we push God away without even realizing it, pushing Jesus aside in our rush to get out the door when He has been standing there all night, knocking. Maybe it’s time to set aside the fact that we know best and let Him steer the ship.
This is hope, friend.
And this is how we begin the dance with God. He takes one step toward us, offering hope in the form of a flower, and we take one step toward him by receiving the good gifts He offers us. Ready yet to take another step on your adventure?
I meticulously and fastidiously conducted extensive research for this blogpost series.
For example, I made a note to figure out what the slang term “Hoser” means and learned this:
1. The NCAA states that in hockey, before the invention of the Zamboni, the ice would have to be “hosed” down after a game. The losing team would traditionally do this mundane job. Thus, the term “Hoser” is synonymous with the term “Loser.”
3. “To get hosed” is also a Canadian slang term that means “to get drunk.”
So how can we get drunk on God, Hoser? Great question. This way:
1. We realize that deep down, we are all hosers, or losers. When we want to draw near to God, we must ask, “Are we honest?” We are all a bit like a rat’s behind when we stand next to God.
So let’s bow our knees, get down on our faces, and acknowledge that we aren’t God, but are specks of dust floating through the world until we return to the dust we emerged from.
(Wait – wha..? What is my editor yelling at me about now? Whatever!)
The summary is we’re not as impressive as we imagine.
It’s time to be on our faces on the floor. This truthfulness about our human condition allows God, who is truth, to draw a bit nearer with his FELT love, which we can sense, a bit more. (Caveat: He is always near whether we sense His love, but that is a topic for another day).
If so, this makes us a bit more deaf to the whispers of God the next time He blows the breath of His wind in our direction.
Are we thirsty for Him, asking Him to draw near, begging Him to touch us with His love? Are we reading about God, asking questions, and seeking Him to help our boxed-up minds open to the new ways He wants to reveal Himself? These actions help us remove the blinders we put over ourselves, making us unwilling to see Him standing at our door, knocking.
3. Will we put aside our maps for our lives that we ask God to follow and instead, will we be willing to follow Him?
These 3 heart attitudes – honesty, thirst, and surrender – are a bit like a nest for the dove of the Spirit of God to rest awhile, to linger so that our hearts can receive more of His love.
Jesus . . . saw God’s Spirit—it looked like a dove—descending and landing on him.
Holy Spirit has been poking me early, early every morning. Wake, wake, He is saying. There’s something new. Do you see it? Do you perceive it?
Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is!
Do you see the clothes your Father gave you? They are crumpled up and dirty in the corner of your room. Can you find the shoes He gave you? They are in your closet behind dozens of other pairs of shoes you’ve purchased. It’s time to sort your closet.
What has God been stirring in your heart?
Let’s start there. After our morning coffee and looking out at this new day dawning, let’s leave room on our to-do lists. Action item number one is left blank. This item is the most important I need to do today, and I must try to do it first as soon as I have time.
It is the response to God’s whisperings to my heart.
What is it for you?
My first task is to turn down the noise in my head, the cacophony of sound that tells me that God can not use me. For me, my first task is remembering who I am. It is shrinking myself down to the size of a piece of dust, my proper form.
The body is put back in the same ground it came from. The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it.
It is raising God to the glorious infinite that He is big. I am small. He has always used insignificant people!
Good morning!
And as I put on the long princess gloves that God gave me, I remember that these hands were bought with a price.
The color red of the gloves reminds me of Jesus’ blood that was shed for us so that these hands can be used to help, comfort and serve.
I found my shoes! Here they are in my closet, behind all those pink heels I had forgotten about. These shoes the Father gave me are decorated with jewels, a reminder that the message I understand is rare, a priceless gem many step on but few pick up to keep close to their hearts.
And many more have only seen cheap, counterfeit copies of the real jewels we wear on our feet. Will we carry the message of a long obedience following Jesus, shined in its brilliance, wherever we walk today? Is He asking you to walk a new path with Him, a path overgrown with branches because so few have travelled in that direction?
And I wear a smile on my face.
This smile is not shallow, resulting simply from the movement of the muscles on my face. A genuine smile is the outpouring of a great joy born in the heart, which overflows out of my eyes as a sparkle that can’t be hidden. (Need some?)
Like a well-trained doctor who assesses your symptoms and states with certainty your sickness, I (though not trained in this stuff at all*) also state with certainty your malady:
And before we begin, I must start by saying I am well aware that, for some reason that I do not quite understand, when I give excellent advice on how to live your life, you say things like, “That’s funny!” And thus, sometimes you laugh at the wrong times or things. And yet, despite this blatant persecution, misjudgment and bullying (what’s the difference?) I will continue giving my sage advice.
To get your belly laughs warmed up, here are some unusual things my brain has noticed lately.
Advice #1: How To Rise And Shine With Enthusiasm Every Day!
I hate my alarm clock.
The little “chirp, chirp” sound startles me, so the last time I went camping, I found myself swearing loudly at 4 am at the little birdies chirping in the trees outside, thinking they were my blasted alarm clock. My cussing woke the other campers, who were still glaring at me over their thick campfire coffee brew several hours later. Why do they make “bird chirp sound” as an option on alarm clocks anyway?
If they REALLY wanted me to get out of bed quickly in the morning, they would make an alarm clock that makes the sound my dog makes just before he throws up beside my bed.
Advice #2: How to Enjoy Marital Bliss, Even When You Feel (Just A Little Bit) Like Choking Your Spouse!
Certified professionals, the ones that charge $160/hr – who knows why? Is it just because they have training?* – often say annoying things like “Talk about your problems.” That only backfires from my experience. How do you have marital bliss? Keep your mouth shut! Follow the saying:
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half closed after that!”
So, for example, if your spouse keeps running out of gas (I speak in idioms – NOT that anyone you know would ever do this!), make sure that “gasoline” is one of those words that must NEVER be mentioned! Except when he runs out of gas next time, the word “gasoline” can be used as ammunition for why you should win the next disagreement! Trust me!
It works!
Advice #3: How To Be Attractive, Even When You Are Getting A Bit Older!
With back pain, showering or brushing your teeth can be difficult.
Yet, do this if at all you think you can!
(Also remember to take the laxative EARLIER in the day so that the house doesn’t smell as bad at night when you and your spouse are relaxing and enjoying a romantic evening at home together!)
Advice #4: How To Choose The Best Pet That Fits Your Family Perfectly!
How long does it take for the excitement of a new puppy, or bunny or pony, to wear off, and then the kids return to cratering their iPhones like a newborn baby while we entice our kids to PLEASE take poor Alfred for a walk and to brush his mangy hair! And yet, buying pets is what good parents do, and we want to be like everyone else!
So the next time one of our children wanted another animal, I surprised myself by confiding to the clerk at the pet store when my child was out of earshot:
“Well, there is a bit more,” she explained. The plant was in the winter season. All that could be seen were a few branches poking above the ground.
Sounded like my life at that moment.
“But spring is coming,” she encouraged me. I picked up my discouragement and continued walking on this ill-marked path that it seemed God was leading me down, wondering if, in the future, sometime, there would be fruit.
Come here every morning, God seemed to whisper.
So I sat each day in my office chair, which seemed to be on fire because it was so uncomfortable to sit in. You want me to write, I clarified? I don’t see myself the way God sees me.
How do you want to work within my life, Jesus?
It seemed I had to follow Him to find out.
But I was learning to walk in obedience, even if I was blind to where we were going. I sat with Him each day long enough for my discouragement to be appeased by a God who knows who I was created to be. Could I learn to trust that if he can use other losers He can use my tattered, edited pages, too?
God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it . . . by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
I look back in awe at where He has been leading me. People from 23 countries so far have read the neurotic ramblings of a spiritually intense person, walking in circles but seeking God and falling and getting up again. And since people from so many countries are reading this blog, this is how we can know my life has meaning!
But He does take our pathetic gardening efforts and redeem them to give strength to each other.
God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure it had nothing to do with my natural abilities. And so here I am . . . writing about things that are way over my head . . .
And he reminds us that spring, the season of blooming and life, follows winter, the season of rest, as we work with the master gardener to see life bloom as He leads.
Where is He leading you, friend?
May you soar on the wind as He leads you deeper into the wormhole of His purposes that always lead to life, growth and joy as we take one tentative step and another in the direction He is travelling, holding his hand as we go.
God, help each of us to see further than we could before, using your glasses.
While listening to the song below, consider quieting your heart, being thankful, and asking God, “What is one next step you are asking me to take that will eventually lead to blooming in my life?”
Restoring Life 