Identity

To Lose Weight, DON’T Focus On Food – Focus On Identity (Healthy Habits Post 10)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I threw away the diet books in a fit of frustration.

I failed.

Again.

HOW is it possible that EVERY time I start to diet, I GAIN weight?

True story.

I don’t even lose weight for a while and THEN gain weight.

My body pushes the pedal to the floor, green light ahead, and helps me put on the pounds without meandering through the territory of “thinner me” first.

“Thanks a lot”, I thought. My body is too smart for me. I had to find another angle.

HOW can I win this battle of the bulge with a body that bulges whenever I FOCUS on my food, I wondered?

I was focusing on the wrong thing.

That’s when I learned about “identity.”

“Identity” and related terms were some of the most frequently Googled words in 2023. Yet I think it’s safe to say that few of us clearly understand what EXACTLY identity IS or HOW it applies to ME.

IDENTITY was the smoking gun that allowed me to keep wrestling (granted, I am still in the ring) with the battle of the bulge in my own life.

Here’s the secret. Lean in close.

Is no one looking? Ok . . . (shh… what will it take for us to BELIEVE ourselves that we are the KIND OF PERSON WHO IS FIT?).

Then we do that – end of discussion.

I’ll explain to you the FORM of what exactly this looks like in my own life. Then, if you’re still interested, I can explain WHY this works.

I will first discuss a CAR (the FORM) and then an ENGINE (the WHY) to convert the above paragraph to an analogy.

The CAR I drive is reliable and gets me where I need to go. These are the actions I take to stay fit. The ENGINE of the car, the fire and the pistons that make the wheels go around are found in digging into beliefs about identity.

In the analogy above, I drive a 20-year-old Toyota. In real life, this is the car my Grandpa gave me when he could no longer drive. He scratched and bashed this car from headlights to tail lights from failing vision and judgment, but it was a VERY reliable car because he didn’t have far to go each day.

This Toyota is kind of like me. I care that I can get from here to there and reliably do my errands. My goal, as much as I can control, is to be fit enough to have a reliable body that gets me where I need to go.

Being a healthy weight is not about image but about avoiding pain associated with obesity, if possible, in other words.

So how do we do that?

I focus on what I must do to TRICK MYSELF INTO BELIEVING I AM A FIT PERSON.

Sometimes I do a Triathlon. Sometimes, I complete P90X, and related challenging workout programs. Once, I bought equipment and lessons to learn to skate ski.

I did THE KIND OF THINGS THAT FIT PEOPLE do.

I pretended to be someone else, in other words.

And then I thought, “Fit people eat green smoothies in the morning, so BECAUSE I AM A FIT PERSON, I will do that too.”

And so now we’re talking about the engine of the car.

I naturally ate MORE OFTEN like a fit person because I BELIEVED that I was a fit person.

It was all about identity.

Something else about identity?

Jesus cared a lot about identity.

We have a record of six times that Jesus asked something along the lines of, “Who do (the people/ the crowds/ you) say I am?“

Identity is the A-Z of what drives your car in life.

What we believe about the identity of Jesus is the steering wheel in the car He is riding.

What we believe about His identity determines whether the car of God is coming toward us, bearing the overwhelming love of the Spirit and all of the inheritance that adoption by a King offers. Or whether we are hitchhiking and miss the car of God again.

‘May it be the real I who speaks. May it be the real Thou that I speak to.’

C. S. Lewis – Letters to Malcolm

God, help us to see ourselves using the glasses You use to look at us. And may we, by Your Spirit, grow into Your best vision for us and for our lives, we pray.

The Best Way To Be Less of A Jerk? Pretend To Be Someone Else!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I found myself still in pajamas, curlers in my straight hair, yelling at my homeschooled kids to get up, get dressed, and get to their work!

The only problem was that I hadn’t done any of those things yet.

They pointed out my inconsistencies and went back to playing Nintendo, their little pajamaed butts mocking me as they lay on their stomachs, resuming their play.

Why did I bother teaching my kids logic, I wondered, wearily. Now their reasoning skills match mine.

I needed a bigger bullet to fight in this homeschooling war.

I scoured books, and homeschooling journals, and cried with my fellow homeschooled moms, all of whom were also still in their pyjamas. They could relate with empathy.

The best military strategy I found was to:

1) Get up early,

2) Get dressed, and

3) Put on lipstick, a nice scarf, and a smile.

In other words, I was pretending to be someone else.

By default, I had been acting like Mrs. Name-changed, the Grade 1 teacher I didn’t like. Mrs Name-changed always forgot to wear deodorant and to mark our assignments. She was always in a bad mood.

Then I remembered my favorite Grade 3 teacher, Mrs. Chamberlain. She looked nice every day and had a sweet smile.

If Mrs Chamberlain had some characteristics that I wanted to emulate, then I needed to choose those same characteristics until those traits became a part of my identity too.

The question is:

Who Are We Becoming?

I chose Mrs. Chamberlain.

And it worked!

My kids’ logic that “I wasn’t doing it either” was finally cancelled, and they reluctantly put Nintendo away, meandering to their rooms to find their (non-pajama) clothes, unused these past 3 months, since homeschooling started this fall.

And what is the lesson, here, I wondered, as I sipped martinis by the pool later that afternoon, ringing a small bell to usher them onto their next subject?

The lesson is best summarized in a popular TED talk by Psychologist Amy Cuddy. She said our BODIES change our MINDS (our thoughts and feelings). Therefore, we can:

“Fake it until you BECOME it. Do it enough until you actually BECOME it, and internalize it.”

Amy Cuddy

The lesson is, WHO ARE YOU?

But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.

The Message

When we understand who we are, we have a shot at becoming aligned with who God created us to be.

Time to switch off the iPads, stop scrolling through Amazon for more stuff to fill the void inside, and dig out the royal clothes that are in the very back of your closet, the ones God gave you so long ago, that you forgot they were even there.

Then:

1) Let’s get up early and rest in who God made us to be instead of running in frenzied circles like everyone else.

2) Let’s put on our royal robes as children of the King, our true identity.

3) Let’s gaze at the One who gives us His identity as we align our lives with what He is whispering to the deepest recesses of our hearts.

So let’s step into the truth of who we really are, the ones Jesus died for, and the ones who have found our identity, which is those who abide with Him. And this identity is enough.

As the music below plays, consider asking God, “How do You see me?”

The Best Way To Live – Don’t Try So Hard

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Sometimes we try too hard as we journey through life. Ironically when we don’t try as hard, our lives often improve.

For example, we all realize by now, I’m sure, that a good life consists of:

1) Beautiful hair,

2) Productive work, and

3) Healthy desires.

(Yes, this is a list curated from my own, personal experience. Why do you ask?)

To expound:

1) Like most things in life, it all boils down to having nice hair, really.

When I was camping, my hair looked better than it usually did. I didn’t fuss with it. I jumped in the lake a lot and this made my hair more curly.

And who doesn’t want curly hair? Yes, I know the women who have curly hair don’t want curly hair, and the women who have straight hair don’t want straight hair.

So as you can tell, I usually have straight hair.

We are all messed up, really.

Just pretend you’re well-adjusted to get the point of this blogpost.

A good life is sometimes upside down. Less frantic mouse on a wheel constant “doing”, less meeting our own expectations, is sometimes more soaring.

2) This brings me to my next point – a good life consists of productive work.

You’d think that the longer we work, the more productive we’d be. And yet study after study indicates the opposite. In fact, working long hours makes us less productive overall. For example – this research.

This study just proves the first point I made about hair. Don’t try so hard, and often we’ll do better at life!

3) This brings me to my third point, the most complex of them all – a good life is fuelled by healthy desires.

I often drive myself, with a whip and self-help books, to chase my desires.

I would be the queen of self-help, and self-help would be my religion if Jesus wasn’t on the throne of my life (Thankfully).

I have bowed down to the queen of my own expectations (i.e. Therefore to me) enough to know that I am a brutal master.

My own expectations remain tantalizingly out of reach, no matter how much I serve to please my expectations, spoken forth by Queen “me”.

Get me off the throne of my life!

Why? Because my desires are often wrong. I often start the game chasing after the wrong goal.

Tragically, we continue to chase after our desires ad infinitum. The result? A chronic state of restlessness or, worse, angst, anger, anxiety, disillusionment, depression—all of which lead to a life of hurry, a life of busyness, overload, shopping, materialism, careerism, a life of more…which in turn makes us even more restless. And the cycle spirals out of control.

John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World

And so, in summary, as we can clearly see by (1) the state of your hair, (2) the fact you missed the promotion at work again, and (3) your chaotic, hectic schedule that you clearly have no idea how to drive the car we call life.

Are you ready to hand the steering wheel of your unhealthy desires to Jesus, yet?

Then Jesus [said] . . . “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am.”

The Message

I am more joyful with Jesus in His rightful place, on the throne of my life, striving to please Him. He is often so very pleased with my pitiful excuses for efforts. See this post about fasting for an example.

As my desires become more aligned with His desires, joy follows. Yes, I can even learn to sometimes DESIRE fasting over Oreos, or fasting over that delicious turkey dinner (Albeit this desire is coming slowly, I do see progress, however dimly).

Are you ready to kick the master of yourself off the throne of your life and to offer the place to Jesus, yet?

And may you too soar more often, friend.

May pleasing the audience of One be enough.

Ultimately, nothing in this life, apart from God, can satisfy our desires.

John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World

As this song plays, consider asking Holy Spirit: How am I the master of my life, demanding things of me that I could never meet? How am I trying too hard? May you find the path that leads to your best life, friend.

It is far more biblical to learn quiet attentiveness before God than to exhaust ourselves in a flurry of activity.

Eugene Peterson

You Love Eating Only Air Instead of Feasting On Turkey – Admit it! (Healthy Habits Post 8)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

One of these days I’m going to write a book about how to have copious financial resources. The key premise:

To accumulate more money, simply buy less stuff!

Lori Lawe, TM*

I’m writing this blog post series about healthy weight, however, but a similar key premise applies:

If we want to stop carrying around all that extra jiggly stuff in the middle, at some point, we may have to talk about eating a bit less food.

Lori Lawe, TM*

Today’s blog post is about ENJOYING eating less.

I’m the kind of person that likes to have fun. So if we have to do something that’s not fun, let’s trick ourselves into thinking that we are having fun! So, as you are learning these helpful tips and habits, try to keep in the back of your mind the key lesson which is: Eating air is way more fun than eating tempting and delicious food!

Today we will learn to trick ourselves that we:

1. Are eating dessert when we are not,
2. Love God more than we love padding our belly fat, and
3. Are stuffing ourselves when we’re not eating anything at all.

  1. No dessert anyone? Back when I remembered I was writing a series of posts about healthy habits, I wrote that one of the habits was to have camomile tea just before bed. This is a great tip I picked up on the internet that actually helped me! I guess there IS useful information out there somewhere! You put quite a bit of extra honey in your camomile tea after supper. Then you tell yourself “This is dessert!” You’re having extra honey so it is a bit of a treat. Then you drink your tea with the relish of eating an entire cheesecake, and wait until Sunday for real dessert. You can do it!
  2. God or more belly fat? The next habit is kind of cool and it’s a way to develop the habit of fasting and seeking God, without having to do any work (Oh wait, did I say that out loud?) As you know, and I’ve discussed here, I found fasting for spiritual purposes, for even more than – oh – 10 minutes, to be a little challenging. So this is a compromise. I just try to delay my breakfast. We all have to start somewhere! Use that time of being a bit hungry to push yourself into God, to ask Him why you’re such a spaz most of the time, to pour out your heart, and you’ll realize that breakfast kind of loses its allure. Your deeper needs are emerging. And so, this habit has become one of my favorite habits, if I’m honest. Plus your body thanks you. There’s a lot of good research about intermittent fasting. And the way I’ve structured these habits, where you kind of trick yourself into thinking you’re eating dessert when you’re not after supper (so you’re not eating), and you just delay your breakfast for a bit turns into a temporary fast. But don’t tell your body that because your mind might not like it, and it’s all about keeping your mind happy, right? Even if you are deceiving your mind a bit. Who’s counting?
  3. Top secret tip for tricking yourself into thinking you are eating copious amounts of food when you’re not eating anything at all. Don’t tell anyone I said this, or at least don’t link back to this site if you do. (I won’t admit I ever said this), but here’s an AMAZING tip. Shh…. Top secret. . . Lean your head over the food dish of choice, when no one is looking, of course. Close your eyes, inhale, enjoy the smells, and pretend you’re chewing. Say, “Yum!” A second plate without any calories, anyone? (Was anyone looking when I said that? Whew! No one heard!) Remember you didn’t hear it from me! Enjoy!

Whoever can figure out how to market the promise: How to enjoy whatever foods you want, whenever you want them, and not gain any weight, and then link to Point 3 above will be a millionaire! Cut me 10% of your profits, please! (I still won’t admit I had anything to do with you, however.)

Hey maybe you want to ghostwrite my financial book discussed in the first paragraph, come to think of it!

We could call it, “How to ENJOY Getting Rich And Thin!”

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Blogpost Footnotes

*Trademarked

(My conscience finds it ironic, for some reason, that I’m eating a 482g bag of “snacking chocolate” as I write this. Don’t forget to eat lots of chocolate when people are looking to confuse them! Because confusing people is fun.)

The Best Path To Real Success Is To Loudly Flaunt Your Ego

/ Lori Lawe / 2 Comments

So it’s my birthday! My blog’s birthday, that is.

My blog is one year old this week.

I can’t believe you found me in this unknown, unvisited corner of the internet!

And wow!

I can’t believe that every day, 10 of you (. . . no, I didn’t forget any zeros . . . why do you ask?) read this stuff!

And it’s not just the people I bribe anymore!

(Don’t people have anything better to do nowadays?)

What I meant to say, is: Wow! You must really like me!

Wait. What I meant to say is: Think of all the fame and glory I have!

Wait. What I meant to say is: My life must have meaning now!

Anyway, what are we going to do because it’s my birthday?

Well, it’s actually my blog’s birthday, but since my blog has more worldly success than I do as a homeschooling parent, I will link my identity to my blog. I mean in regular life I tell people what I’ve been doing (for about two decades), and their eyes glaze off, and coincidentally, they always become desperately interested in talking to someone just behind me at the party instead.

Ha! But I have a secret successful altar ego now! I am like Clark Kent and Superman(/woman)! If only the rest of them knew!

Actually, it’s OK that they don’t. My ego can’t handle any more success because I’m no longer just a measly, societally unimportant, homeschooling parent!

But wait- sorry.

You, however, can be VERY proud of yourself for being a measly homeschooling parent! This post is about encouraging you after all!

For those of you who are new to this blog, or who have never watched the Simpsons* this is called “satire”, where we make fun of an opposite view to help draw out our own neuroses.

You’re welcome!

And now that we’ve been smacked in the face with how neurotic we really are, consider this quote from Watchman Nee, a Minister in China, who suffered greatly for his choice to follow Jesus:

One day I was walking along the street with a stick, very weak, and in broken health, and I met one of my old college professors . . . My career, my health everything had gone and here was my old professor who taught me law in the school asking me “Are you still in this condition with no success, no progress, nothing to show?” But the very next moment . . . I really knew what it meant to have the Spirit of Glory resting on me. The thought of being able to pour out my life for my Lord flooded my soul with glory… I could look up, and without reservation say, “Lord, I praise thee! This is the best thing possible; it is the right course I have chosen!” To my professor, it seemed a total waste to serve the Lord, but that is what the gospel is for – to bring each one of us to a true estimate of His worth.

The Normal Christian Life


Don’t you wish you were as free as people like him to follow your own Northstar and not care what society thinks of you?

Wait!

You are!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

So by the way, what should we do together to celebrate my blog’s birthday? Virtual cake is super lame. So are virtual party hats. And I just deleted my “Zoom party ideas” bookmarks this week. Which brings me to my next initiative:

You are very welcome to join us at our online prayer and encouragement events.

When I started this blog, I was the only one at this site, of course. Similarly, I’m the only one attending the online prayer and encouragement events right now, as these were just launched.

However, since there are many more who read my blog now than there were before, there will be many more who join our online events later than there are now. This prediction is due to mathematical extrapolation within a closed set system. See the graph below for further clarification.

It will be great to meet you.

And so, Happy Birthday! To me! Wait. What I meant to say is: To my ego!

Blogpost Footnotes
*I can’t stomach watching The Simpsons for long because I am a real-life amalgamation of Lisa Simpson and Ned Flanders. I don’t want to know that much about myself; I’d rather project my ego at you, instead.

Every Homeschooling Parent Will Be Ready To Wave Goodbye To Their Teen

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I’m mad at you! At all of you with a child more than 17 years old who left home! I hate you all! Why didn’t you tell me it would be this hard to say goodbye when they left for college!?

And all of you with babies too, babies that are older than my oldest baby, I hate you all too! Before we had babies, why didn’t you tell us that looking after babies would be so hard!?

Ah, yes . . .

It is because we wouldn’t have believed you even if you would have spoken up.

And if our teens truly understood the depth of our loss, many of these kids wouldn’t leave home. They are good kids. I relayed these thoughts to my husband, processing them aloud through my tears.

“And we want them to leave,” I cried out. “Yes, we do,” my husband comforted. Then he shoots me a sideways, knowing look. I remembered that this morning our teen was definitely right when she was definitely wrong and instead of bursting into tears, I burst into laughter.

I feel some joy mixed with some sorrow.

And so, “Goodbye!” we say as we wave. Except it’s not kindergarten they are heading off to on a bus. We homeschooled so we missed that milestone. It’s 600 km away and the tearing, the necessary, painful cleaving continues.

Reflecting God’s nature He created them male and female. . . Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother . . . The Message

I told you it would be that way, Jesus reminds me softly. Many years earlier, in prayer, Jesus showed me a picture of my daughters, one after the other, ready to board a plane, to soar off on their journeys of independence. He was preparing my heart to say goodbye many years ago, even then.

Many of us homeschooling parents pushed the love boundary of our hearts a little further than expected when we cracked open those brand new math texts on day one of homeschooling.

The depth of love surprises us all, and surpasses the boundary markers we set up to protect ourselves.

If we love what we know, then we will get to know these kids and our love for them will transform us, them. Love always does.

I’m not saying that homeschooling is one domino after the other of perfect days. I have homeschooled for 4,745 days (I’m convinced you don’t have enough math skills to figure out how many years I have spent homeschooling- Who does?). Out of all those days, I have NEVER yet had one perfect day.

Nope. Not one.

Just daily joy mixed with daily sorrow.

Master storyteller J.R.R. Tolkien explains it this way:

The possibility of [sorrow and failure] is necessary to the joy of deliverance . . . giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

And so saying goodbye to the teen as she flies off to college is just another homeschooling day: some joy mixed with some sorrow. We are used to that. We’ve gotten stronger over the years. It’s just another part of the daily homeschooling rhythm.

We will be ready because we have been practicing every day for this: some joy and some sorrow, repeat tomorrow.

We’re going to be OK.

And so as we watch them soar, we nurse our grief a little, and then flap our baby wings and listen for the call from Him into a new adventure.

And in the same way that we invest in our future by putting aside a few dollars each month, is He asking us to invest in our spiritual future by putting aside a few minutes each day to listen to Him calling us, comforting us, asking us to set aside the old, and to pick up the new?

How is he calling you to wake up?

Where to next God?

I can’t quite fly yet but I am sensing another adventure.

Yes, I’ll follow!

(How about you?)

Does Your Life Inspire Others To Soar?

/ Lori Lawe / 3 Comments

Here’s a picture taken just after I completed a triathlon.

I’m the one in the hat. You can also tell which one is me because I’m the one that is “fit looking”. Just sayin’. Well, at least I should say that I’m the one that looks “fitter than I was”. Whatever.

Yes! We are wearing matching shirts! I completed this triathlon as a memorial for my dad, who passed away not long ago, and who inspired us all in physical strength by completing many triathlons.

Leaders inspire others by their examples.

. . . lead them by your own good example says the ancient text

How will our lives inspire others who are watching us, even though we don’t see them looking our way? By our example. Are you awake to who God is calling you to become?

In the last post, we talked about how God often wants to wake us up to His vision for our lives, if our ears are screwed on tight enough to hear Him.

God may be blowing open your expectations of what He can do through your life if you sense any of the following:

1) God is whispering about something you know you could never accomplish on your own strength.

2) God seems to envelop you in love, even for just a moment, or to touch your heart with His invisible love. With Him as the wind, holding up your wings, He can move mountains.

3) God is trying to wake you. He stands next to your bedside, gently nudging you. He picked up your ears off the floor. Will you put them on?

What does He see when He looks at you? Ask Him! If you don’t hear His gentle whisper, continue reading The Message. Every word read helps put a bit more glue on our ears, ever ready to fall off.

How may God be calling you to set an example for others of a life well lived?

Abba, continue to speak in ways that we can finally grasp the truth that You have much, much bigger plans for our lives than we do, with You at the helm, guiding us for Your kingdom purposes. Help us to be able to hear You more clearly, we pray. Keep our ears screwed on tight.

Don’t Laugh At Me Yet

/ Lori Lawe / 4 Comments

No. It isn’t funny. We concur with you. We empathize. We feel your pain. We’ve been there. This is NOT funny……. (yet). We turn away when the snicker rises up. We don’t want you to see the guffaw. Not YET. Yet is the keyword.

My daughter is a minor chemist. She has mixed and remade so many versions of slime that she could create her own YouTube channel if she wanted to (in fact, she does and likely will). She was thrilled with the quality and texture of her most recent recipe, bounding down the stairs to lay her magnificent creation before my unappreciative eyes.

“Oh yes, it’s more stretchy,” I expressed, grasping to appreciate homemade slime. She couldn’t hear my lack of astonishment. She was a momma and this new batch of slime was her baby. No one, nothing, could tempt her to see a lack of wonder towards her beloved. This I could understand.

But it was unbelievably annoying when later that morning, after using our bathroom, I automatically rested my hand where the hand pump soap sits, and … nothing. The soap was gone. I actually thought I was going mad. I couldn’t find my teaspoon measure (again) later in the day. Random things seem to appear from thin air in bizarre locations, and others disappear with no rhyme or reason.

So it wasn’t funny. Yet. Can we not even keep soap in the bathroom, this hygienic essential? What is wrong with our household? I stumbled to the coffee machine in an effort to increase brain cells, to seek comfort from another cup of java. How is it that we don’t even have what we need to function at the most basic of levels? I asked myself.

I was discouraged. My identity was somehow wrapped up in a $6 bottle of hand soap. If I’m the one directing this ship, together with my hardworking husband, why is there another hole in the boat?

Coffee wasn’t solving my problem. But laughter did. Unentangling my identity from the bottle of hand soap helped. Waiting for the YET, which I could sense somehow, was coming, was the relief that I needed.

So, of course, our daughter used the family bathroom hand soap to make her most recent batch of glorious slime. Why wouldn’t she? And yes, she did put it . . . somewhere. Now where was it?

Here is the YET. I am NOT actually incapable of having enough of the basic essentials available to avoid a major health hazard. I am homeschooling. And my daughter is the inventor. Of COURSE, we may not have soap to wash our hands every now and then.

Relating this story to a friend later that day was long enough for the YET to arrive. Pull my hair out, question my ability to safely homeschool my children a few hours ago. And now it’s funny.

Because our little inventor is ridiculous. And so am I. Who ties their self-worth to the state of organization of their home? We need each other, her and I. God has plans for us both.

So she returned the soap. I had a laugh with my friend, who relayed a similar homeschooling mishap, and we went on with storytime together. And I am learning again, that because I am ridiculous, and because I live with those who are ridiculous, funny stuff happens.

I see your lips twitching the next time I share my frustrating homeschooling mishap. It’s math time. Has anyone seen all of our pencils? You look away, trying not to burst into laughter in my face. Not yet.

But you are the ones chosen by God . . . chosen to be a holy people … from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. The Message‬‬

Do you sometimes throw away your identity as a child of God and link your self-worth, instead, to a $6 bottle of hand soap, or other expectation for yourself as Captain of the ship? Are you frantically bailing out a sinking ship, or is this just not funny (yet)?

Can’t Yet Walk In the Royal Shoes God Offered?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

If I was a stranger to myself, reading this account of my attempts to step into my identity, I would think I was a loser. But it’s a lot easier to believe lies about ourselves than it is to step into the royal robes that Jesus is holding out for us. The dress is too big. There is room for us to grow.

Will we wear the dress anyway, the shoes too big, the crown tottering on our tiny heads, as we hold His hand, and peer into His eyes, receiving His next gift for us, His beloved child. Growth will come. Will we trust the process?

Are you also a loser? With a process a bit like mine, where you kick off the royal shoes in a temper tantrum, frustrated because it’s easier to wear smaller shoes, the ones that you can tie on yourself?

Sure, the old kid’s runners feel a bit tight at the tips, but even walking feels impossible in the fancy big shoes that He has given you.

But of course, He offers His hand, His arm to lean upon, as you learn to walk as royalty.

No, learning to walk as royalty is not as simple as putting on dress shoes and waving goodbye to Jesus as He looks at you sadly, and hit the red carpet. He knows your heart, mine. So He gives us shoes that are too big, at first, so that we need His hand, His arm to learn to walk. We almost fall, again, and catch hold of Him. He smiles at us lovingly and encourages us to try again. So we do. And every touch from His arm, every tear shed that falls near us, every look of love from His eyes transforms us. Our feet and our hearts grow a bit bigger.

So becoming who He calls us to be is a painful process for us, simply because we can’t yet clearly see who we are becoming. Because we don’t know where we are walking, the journey is often long and fraught with falls. But He is calling you, too. Do you hear Him?

He holds out shiny dress-up shoes to you too.

Yes, they are too big for you and you will need to cling carefully to Him. Are you ready to take the first step? Are you ready to get up off the couch, to give Him your old runners, the ones that are a bit too tight? Soon you’ll be running, with Jesus at your side.

But for now, you may feel a bit like a loser, too. Recognizing ourselves as who we are, as a small child with no vision for our future, instead of the captain of a ship is the first step to our destinies. Are you ready to run into your identity, eventually, as a royal child of the King? The first steps will feel a bit uncomfortable. Your rear end may get a bit sore. You may even feel like a loser when you try to explain your journey to another, one day.

Why were you such a slow learner, you lament? Growing up takes time.

Realizing we are still a child takes even longer.

I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. The Message

Lord, help us to take the first step of humility by taking off the familiar shoes that are too tight, as You call us to step into our identities as sons and daughters of the King. Help us to see the vision that You have for us, as threads of a tapestry in Your Kingdom. Help us to have the humility to recognize our need for Your arm, as we learn to walk down the new path You are calling us to.

Ask God “What new thing are You calling me to?” Your Kingdom come Jesus, more fully on earth as each one of us surrenders our calling to Your voice calling, we pray.