Hope

Advice: Your Bridge To Hope After Your Kid Moves Out

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
green trees near brown wooden bridge during daytime
Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

I’m mad at you! At all of you with a child over seventeen years old who left home! I hate you all! Why didn’t you tell me it would be this hard to say goodbye when they left for college!?

And all of you with babies too, babies that are older than my oldest baby, I hate you all too!

Before we had babies, why didn’t you tell us that looking after babies would be so hard!?

Ah, yes . . .

It is because we wouldn’t have believed you even if you would have spoken up.

And if our teens truly understood the depth of our loss, many of these kids wouldn’t leave home. They are good kids. I relayed these thoughts to my husband, processing them aloud through my tears.

“And we want them to leave,” I cried out. “Yes, we do,” my husband comforted. Then he shoots me a sideways, knowing look. I remembered that this morning, our teen was DEFINITELY right when she was DEFINITELY wrong, and instead of bursting into tears, I burst into laughter.

I feel some joy mixed with some sorrow.

And so, “Goodbye!” we say as we wave.

Except it’s not kindergarten, and they are heading to school on a bus. We homeschooled, so we missed that milestone. It’s 600 km away, and the tearing, the necessary, painful cleaving continues.

Reflecting God’s nature, He created them male and female. . . Therefore, a [person] leaves his father and mother

The Message

I told you it would be that way, Jesus reminds me softly. Many years earlier, in prayer, Jesus showed me a picture of my daughters, one after the other, ready to board a plane to soar off on their journeys of independence. He began preparing my heart to say goodbye many years ago, even then.

Many of us homeschooling parents pushed the love boundary of our hearts a little further than expected when we cracked open those brand new math texts on day one of homeschooling.

The depth of love surprises us all and surpasses the boundary markers we set up to protect ourselves. If we love what we know, we will get to know these kids, and our love for them will transform us. Love always does.

I’m not saying that homeschooling is one domino after the other of perfect days.

I have homeschooled for 4,745 days (I’m convinced you don’t have enough math skills to figure out how many years I have spent homeschooling- Who does?). Of those days, I have NEVER yet had one perfect day.

Nope.

Not one. Just daily joy mixed with daily sorrow. Master storyteller J.R.R. Tolkien explains it this way:

The possibility of [sorrow and failure] is necessary to the joy of deliverance . . . giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

And so saying goodbye to the teen as she flies off to college is just another homeschooling day: some joy mixed with some sorrow.

We are used to that. We’ve gotten stronger over the years. It’s just another part of the daily homeschooling rhythm.

We will be ready because we have been practicing daily for this: some joy and some sorrow, repeat tomorrow.

We’re going to be OK.

And so, as we watch them soar, we nurse our grief a little and then flap our baby wings and listen for the call from Him into a new adventure.

And in the same way that we invest in our future by putting aside a few dollars each month, is He asking us to invest in our spiritual future by putting aside a few minutes each day to listen to Him calling us, comforting us, asking us to set aside the old, and to pick up the new?

How is he calling you to wake up?

Where to next, God?

I can’t quite fly yet, but I am sensing another adventure.

Yes, I’ll follow!

(How about you?)

Social Media Consuming Your Joy? (May You See Breakthrough)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
person holding clear drinking glass
Photo by Anastasiia Voitenko on Unsplash

I was flying, soaring like a bird, arms outstretched.

Not paying attention, and then AH! – What is that there in the sky? – And a sharp turn that spun me in circles as I nosedived. I was spinning and spinning, the hard ground beckoning closer.

And life sometimes feels like that, with the highs, lows, and pitfalls to avoid and crashing out of control.

One second, a youth raising my hand with all my effort, in fervent desperation to be picked for that promotion or opportunity.

And then, decades later, I’m too, sitting by the side of the road, homeless and friendless, holding my donation cup and wondering if I can find a few coins or some hope to get me through today’s dark night.

(Actually, I’ve never even been close to being homeless, but sometimes my interior life feels just as jumbled as their exterior life appears visibly.)

What do you do when life spins out of control and takes you with it?

Social media is good at depicting the moments in life when we are soaring in the sky like an eagle, enjoying the ocean view. And we’ve all had a few moments like these. But where do we go when the rain comes, we get kicked out of our nest, and our wounds and brokenness keep us stranded, exposing us to the weather as we sit and wait and wonder what to do next?

And as we hold out our cup seeking donations and hope like the other homeless people, as we look through the busy people rushing by us, we finally have the eyes to see that Jesus is crouched beside us, holding a blanket and a snack and offering his arms for a hug.

Got time for some comfort?

After writing the above, I went for a walk with her, the new friend.

She said this:

“Like everyone else, I was enjoying my life and had many good times.”

I imagined her Facebook and Instagram pages as she spoke.

“But then I suddenly crashed, realizing that my social drinks after work couldn’t easily be set aside, though I tried everything I could using my own strength. When I finally turned to Jesus and asked for help, things suddenly didn’t get easy, but He gave me the strength to put that dark chapter behind me. I am six years alcohol-free,” she continued.

“And people say I have fantastic strength to do that alone, but I know it wasn’t on my own – God gave me the strength.”

Her story fits here, that’s all.

What do your social media pages say, friend?

How are you really doing?

If you’ve recently crashed too, got time for a drink?

Jesus . . . cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. 

The Message

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Advice: Toss Christmas Booze! (Try Drowning Sorrows Here Instead)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I looked for a regular Christmas picture of our family (so I could prove to you all how proper we are and suitably impressive in demeanour), but all I could find were these photos.

Our kids are SO wiggly and annoying that they wouldn’t stand still long enough to get a proper photo!

Yes, that’s me on the right. (Why do you ask?) Well, I guess this one below will have to do.

Merry Christmas!

Oh – and just a little bit of advice – I know that’s why you read this stuff, after all!

Ahem . . .

If you are tempted to turn to the Christmas booze or whatever your vice* of choice is today, remember – try God instead!

Then you can have the enviable advantage over others** of being perceived as (relatively) “regular” like us!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Footnotes

*PS – All of us carry pain within, friend. Seriously, God has a path out of the mess. What’s your next step?

**The point of life is to look normal! (Isn’t it? It’s too bad my editor has the day off, or she could fix this.) “What is the point of life?” I wonder. Well, I’ll tell you the answer next time, friends! In the meantime, I wonder if I should get some booze for this growing existential angst I’m feeling today or … wait – I’ll ask God!

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.

The Message

I hope you take another step towards the One who quells your chaos, too, friend.

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and to inflate my ego!

The Best Climate Solution Hack Is To Focus On This One Other Thing Instead

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
grayscale photo of person inside the plant formation

Just because the battle of [insert famous battle name here – I’m not a Historian, ok?] was lost, doesn’t mean those soldiers lost the war too!

The same is true in the war that many in our culture are fighting to open our eyes to the reality that climate change is real.

We’ve lost a battle or two, granted.

For example, consider the implementation of climate solutions and the recent US election. I am not a Harris supporter by any stretch of the imagination. (Also, I’m Canadian, so no one cares who I would have voted for. AND, it’s much easier to criticize leaders trying to create positive change than to come up with real solutions that work!)

The point is that we lost another battle in the war against recognizing that climate change is even a “thing” with the election win of Mr. Trump.

But just because climate change has lost another battle, that doesn’t mean we have lost the war in finding a solution to our climate woes – Not by any stretch.

It is time to close the chapter in the book “Let’s talk about climate change rationally, using science.”

Instead, let’s focus on applying and implementing this one solution.

Let’s focus on food.

No, I did not leave my rationale mind over there as I wrote this post over here.

Stay with me.

In Paul Hawken’s book “Regeneration: Ending the Climate Crisis in One Generation,” there is surprising hope in implementing Regenerative Agriculture.

Don’t have time to read?

Check out this free movie, Kiss the Ground Film | Official Website

A Hollywood Actor narrates the movie, so that’s how we know it is the truth!

Just kidding – There is LOTS of science here and a growing movement.

“Kiss the Ground is an audience-supported nonprofit promoting regeneration and healthy soil as a viable solution for our wellness, water, and climate crisis. Since 2013, we’ve inspired millions to participate in the Regenerative Movement through storytelling, education and partnerships.”

Kiss the Ground For Regeneration

Oh, and another benefit – when you put less poison in the form of hyper-processed foods into your body and recognize food ITSELF is healing, you’ll probably feel a lot better, too!

There is a movement of people who have started to be accidentally healed of various modern ailments through eating healthier foods, but we’ll talk about that another time.

Oh, and we can avert the climate crisis once this movement snowballs, too, without mentioning the term “climate change.”

The thing is (whisper):

God has a solution to EVERY problem we see in our world.

We have hope! Let’s dance! No problem is too big for our God.

As the song below plays, ask God, “Has my hope been reduced to the size of politics or the problems in my life and our world? Forgive me. Would You help me place my hope in the One who is bigger than every problem?”

“If . . . my people, my God-defined people, respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I’ll be there ready for you: I’ll listen from heaven, forgive their sins, and restore their land to health. From now on I’m alert day and night to the prayers offered . . . “

The Message

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Finding God’s Unexpected Path To Healing Is Actually Easy?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
grayscale photography of girl lying near field
Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

She was a shell. She was skinny, sickly, and often lost in her little world.

Her stomach racked her in pain. Friends were elusive. She was unhappy, never having exploded in childhood giggles that should have been her right.

My husband and I oscillated between worry and confidence that she would grow out of “this.” One of us, either he or I, carried the ball of fear for this child. The ball never went away.

Occupational and physical therapists dribbled through our home – in and out – like a constant stream, reminding us that something wasn’t quite “right.” The ball of concern for our child, which we took turns carrying, grew heavier.

Doctors punctuated our lives.

An exclamation point with a specialist doctor in September. A question mark with that prominent city specialist who visited in April. The regular full stops of our home doctor, where “many” childhood milestones were missed, again, were a part of the regular background noise.

The cloud of “something” felt suffocating.

It was hard to breathe.

And doctors get so concerned nowadays. Our other daughter was told she “might” have a problem detectable only by modern medicine (pulmonary stenosis!), and yet that asymptomatic “problem” mysteriously resolved itself only a few years later.

“Would the same thing happen with this other daughter?” I wondered on the days when my husband carried our ball of worry.

And then it happened.

God’s voice was carried by the wind of the Spirit that day as I chatted with a friend about her struggling child.

“Try it.”

What now? I looked around, wondering if I had heard right. My heart sensed my Father’s love for me and my daughter as He spoke. Was I imagining things, though?

“Could you repeat that?” I asked

Nothing. Stillness. Quiet.

Had I heard correctly?

I had been learning that God speaks when we remember to attach our spiritual ears. I bent down to look for my spiritual ears which seemed to have fallen off again. Had He spoken?

At the moment that I wondered if God was nudging me, my good friend had been talking about a special diet – Yes, a special diet – that she was preparing for her son, who had developmental delays.

Diet?

But that’s not what the specialists EVER recommended!

But that was what was working for him. I felt God was asking me to try this same approach. Would I obey?

And so, how are we led on God’s specific, chosen path for our lives and families that usher in His healing?

  1. We pick up our spiritual ears and attach them to our heads. Oh! There are your spiritual ears lying next to you on the ground! Shall we learn how to use them?
  2. We do what God says.

That’s it.

And oh – our daughter was healed. But that’s a story for another time.

By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told. . . . As a result, Noah became intimate with God.

The Message

An additional fun result of following Jesus where He leads is buried within the quote above if our eyes are open – Intimacy with God! Wow.

As the song below plays, ask Holy Spirit, “What is the ONE NEXT step, or person you want me to ask advice from, regarding this problem in my life that is literally burning a hole in my gut?”

God:

  • Help us look for our ears, re-attach them so they stick, and pick them up again when they fall off.
  • May our hearts be strengthened by knowing how You delight in watching us take our baby steps toward You.
  • Help us to drink a bigger glass of the gift of Your love, which often carries healing for our bodies, minds and spirits.

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Advice: Stop Being Afraid Of The Wrong Thing! Become Fearless (By Fearing This)! Part 2

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
person jumping on big rock under gray and white sky during daytime
Photo by The Chaffins on Unsplash

Previously, we talked about the fear that sometimes descends over our culture like an unwelcome blanket, smothering us. And yet, we cling to our fear as a self-soothing exercise. We are used to it

How do we throw away the fear that always seems to linger on our hands, like unwanted gum we are trying to put in the trash?

We can’t entirely eradicate fear.

The reality is that we are tiny little people, and who knows? A comet may arrive in ten minutes, throwing us into another ice age like it did for the dinosaurs. Then we’re hooped!

But this, ironically, like all my best advice, is where we find some of our hope.

What if we didn’t fear “death” (I said THE word!) QUITE so very much?

It is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty, purposeless lives

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This one fear, the fear of death, instead of being a blanket that twists itself around our neck, strangling us, is the one fear that can ultimately comfort us.

For example, it doesn’t matter to me whether I get two likes or one like on a post (No, that wasn’t 2,000 likes or 1,000 likes – Why do you ask?) when I remember that one day, I will die.

So, one of the best ways to eliminate a bunch of our lingering fears, it turns out, is to confront the biggest, most terrifying fear looming in our bellies’ most bottomless pit.

It’s to confront our mortality.

So, how do we recognize our mortality, though we (kind of) don’t want to?

When we realize that we are resting in the palm of our Saviour’s hand and that His love is the warm blanket that comforts us, we find we can sleep a bit easier, and this life is a little easier to live.

But what if we’re having trouble grasping hold of God as we clench our frightened fists around His Spirit, grasping for something to hold onto?

What if we reach out to touch God, and our fingers, instead, only close around thin air?

Well, let’s return to something I learned in university while wrestling most deeply with this question. (Don’t you find that you thought more interesting things in university? These days, the thing I seem to think about most is when I can next grab some deep-fried chicken or chocolate cheesecake.)

When I wrestled most deeply with this question at University, the philosophical argument called Pascal’s Wager, was a great balm to my soul.

Here it is, summarized. A fuller version can be found here:

  • There is not enough evidence to know with ABSOLUTE certainty that God exists, the mathematician and physicist Blaise Pascal began.
  • So, a game is being played with the endpoint of our deaths. What will be the outcome after our death?
  • The MOST RATIONAL choice is NOT to play this game.
  • However, NOT playing the game is not a choice. We all must die therefore we all MUST play the game.
  • When we play the game, we are wagering on God.
  • If we believe there is a God, and there is, we gain ALL.
  • If we believe there is a God and there is not, we lose NOTHING.

Wager, then, without hesitation that He is. (…) There is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite.

Blaise Pascal

As the song plays, consider asking God, “Am I afraid of the right things?” When we face our fear of death, a most surprising thing happens. Other fears seem to fly away somewhere!

Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?

The Message

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts, support my work and so my ego feels important!

The Truth About Holy Spirit Attempting To Awaken You To Something More

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Photo by Kinga Howard on Unsplash

Yeah, so I might have had a slight touch of fear now and then over my lifetime.

OK, let’s admit it. Fear is paralyzing me, my constant friend.

Jesus walks over to me, crouches in the corner next to me, and offers me His arm. It is time to stand. I rise on quaking legs.

Click here to continue reading this post.*

* This post is part of our “Say-It-Again-On-Friday” blogpost series, where we say it again, on Fridays!

The Truth About 3 Lies That Are Often Found Deep In Our Hearts -It’s Time To Toss Them

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
A man holding a stick on top of a sandy beach
Photo by Harsh Aryan on Unsplash

So I went to church the other day.

A kind fellow welcomed me by taking off his hat and bowing to me. Then he slapped me upside the head and told me that I had to believe a political ideology as well before they would welcome me into their church.

They’ll make a show of religion but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people.

The Message

I left the church and got into that church through another entrance because I knew how to look for another door. But many of you don’t. Many of you turn away, saddened, looking for another path to God.

“That path is not in the church,” many of us assert.

Have we replaced our primary sense of belonging . . .to [Jesus] . . . with politics…?

Christianity Today

So we stay home the following Sunday and watch TV or ask questions online, wondering, “Where is God?” Our hearts are stirred at night as God tries to wake us from spiritual slumber. We hear stories and wonder, “Maybe?” and then we are again distracted by our lunch and phone notifications.

But our hearts are a black hole that attracts the supernatural, often against our will or our reason.

Let’s dig deep down in our hearts today, friends, and see what we find deposited there in the depths. Like a vacuum attracting dust and debris, cultural beliefs swirl around in our hearts and sometimes settle there even though these ideas are simply filth, cluttering our minds. Instead, we need to find thoughts and questions that are food to fuel our spiritual journeys.

What we find often surprises us when we dig deep, deep down, hitting the depths of the heart.

Here’s some everyday clutter that we dig up and can inspect from all angles before DECIDING, with our MINDS, whether these ideas should be treasured in the depths of our hearts or thrown far, far away into the night, never to wake us again with their mischievous badgering. Sometimes, the wrong thoughts keep us awake at night. What do we toss, and what do we hold onto of the musings deep in our hearts, friend?

Here are several ideas:

  1. When we reach into our pants pocket, we pull out the plastic figurine of Jesus that we’ve carried all our lives. It’s time to toss him.
  2. When we reach into our other pants pocket, we pull out the counterfeit $20 bill we’ve also carried all our lives. This is our experience of church thus far and assumptions based on this experience. It’s time to toss it.
  3. Like the useful “Pensive” in the Harry Potter series, which allows the extraction of memories for in-depth study, we must also extract memories buried deep in our hearts. You also have a memory of another guy who slapped you upside the head, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, before offering you a seat in one of the pews at church. “No thanks,” you said, running from the building and locking the door behind you. It’s time to toss the key to the door you locked.

Why?

A counterfeit Jesus, counterfeit rules, and counterfeit beliefs POINT TO THE TRUTH THAT SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, THERE IS “THE REAL” OF EACH OF THESE THINGS.

No one counterfeits items that hold no value.

The fact that someone bothered to counterfeit these items hints at the truth that the accurate, authentic, valuable versions are out there somewhere.

Don’t turn away from your path to God just because someone slapped you upside the head a bit.

Find the other entrance.