holidays

Why You Should Read This Instead of Goal-Setting! AND 10 Funny Things They Said About Homeschooling, Aging, And Love!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Got time to join us for a laugh, friend? (Put the goal-setting pencil aside for a bit.)

a group of people holding glasses of wine

I’m in extended holiday mode, so I’m not (quite) ready yet to set new goals, that I won’t achieve anyway.

However, stay tuned tomorrow (or soon) for how to start the year at a sprinter’s pace! (Though we will already be a bit behind because we are beginning our energetic goal setting a day too late!). Dang!

The new year has barely started, and you’re already a loser!

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

How to catch up and pass everyone else (Or how to at least stay in the race a bit longer) will be discussed tomorrow (or soon)!

“We’re just happy to be here!”

Said Jen and I, to explain why we didn’t want the number of Devil’s Press (NOTICE the name, anyway?) and other exercises recorded that our team completed at the “Competitive-Partner-Get-Fit-Day” at the gym.

Anyway, I hope you also feel encouraged to start your New Year off with a bang of frenzied activity (That you’ll do soon)!

For now, as clearly and thoroughly elaborated in THIS ARTICLE, here is one of our past holiday newsletters to amuse you, while you look around for your pencil today to enthusiastically write out all of your life goals tomorrow!

Now, most homeschooling moms are looking forward to sitting on the couch with a glass of vodka after Christmas.

No, don’t get me wrong! I MEANT a tiny splash of rum in our Christmas eggnog! I am always misunderstood!

But instead of doing that, I wrote this holiday newsletter!

Anyway, it would have been preferable to have one of those lovely family Christmas photos – You know, where everyone is wearing those matching red hats, but who has time to book a photographer, coordinate ridiculously busy schedules, etc.?

This photo (SEE DISCLAIMER!)1 will have to do. We took it tonight, impromptu. Sure, some of us MAY be in costume attire, but this is what we look like. On reflection, elf suits may have been a slight improvement.

In past years, we included memorable quotes from various family members in our New Year / Holiday letters. This year, we include ten quotes on Homeschooling, Aging, and Love. Enjoy!

On Homeschooling

Kyah: “I’ve had a pretty good day so far!” Time: 7:13 am

Andy: After his shower, “Hey! Where was my soap? I couldn’t find it?!!”

Me: “Oh, sorry! Kyah carved it into a turtle and entered it in the fall fair yesterday!”

I mentioned lunch.

Kyah: “Mmm…lunch!”

What she was doing – eating breakfast!

Kyah was having an in-depth Zoom discussion with budding philosophers about the Easter holiday.

Suddenly, a shrill 10-year-old voice from Pennsylvania emanated from the computer, “Well, I think the Easter bunny should go to hell because . . .” An impassioned speech followed. A lot of great learning and critical thinking is in progress!

(She may need a bit more work on theology.)

On Aging

Me: “Where do you want to be in five years?”

Andy: “Where you are…!!!”

Me: (Oh!!)

Kyah: “And I can help you up the stairs!”

Me, thinking: “Will we functionally be 100-year-olds in just five years?”

Andy: “Next June, I will be 50. We should have a massive party.”

Andy remembered that we had a big 1990s party for him when he turned 30. Andy continued, “We can have another 1990s party! We can wear . . . jeans and . . . all the clothes I wear now…” … “and we can listen to … all the music I still listen to now!”

Esther: “I feel so much older now that I am seventeen. It’s a big difference from being sixteen, or fifteen, or fourteen. I don’t know why. Do you think it’s because seventeen has an extra syllable?”

Esther to me: “Whenever I make my hair look like yours, I get compliments. Whenever I wear your clothes, I get compliments.”

Me thinking: “I’m not completely irrelevant, yet!”

On Love

Andy: “I like it when you talk.”

Me: “What??”…(!)

Andy: “Well, most of the time.”

Kyah: “You are the best Mom.”

Me: “Well, thank you, Kyah, but I don’t think that’s true.”

Kyah: “No one is perfect, but you are the best Mom for me.”

And so we may not be perfect, but we are the best people that God put in our lives for each other.

I know that’s true with your family and friends, too!

Happy New Year!

Oh! And I think professional online writers like me are supposed to encourage you, especially on New Years! And so, as this song sings, “. . . make a list and do not make it brief. Write down every single wish and every little thing that you want” (Seriously2?) – Well, good luck with that!

As for me, today I plan on doing a little more skate skiing, enjoying my favorite soup with friends and family, and trying out some of the new board games we received at Christmas.

(And as you write your exhaustive to-do list for the year, remember to keep one ear open to Holy Spirit. You’ll have more luck pursuing the activities God is ushering you into in your next season.) However, to be safe and ensure we are actively setting goals to be like everyone else, we will soon discuss setting not S.M.A.R.T. goals, but S.T.U.P.I.D. goals, to help you even more!

Stay tuned!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit – Happy New Year! by Debra Manny Mosley on Unsplash and It’s Us!

1 DISCLAIMER: My family stays mad at me for longer each time I post embarrassing things about them on the internet lately (It’s not like ALL of the five billion people on the internet read every word!). However, to keep them happy, I deleted the photo of my entire family that accompanied this article. They didn’t want the family photo posted SIMPLY because some of them were wearing dress-up clothes, pajamas, or something (I couldn’t keep track of ALL their complaints). Anyway, good thing you like me!

2 My wants (synonymous with needs, in my case) are a giant bucket without a bottom that would completely consume me as well if I focused too much on them! But whatever works for you!

The Truth About Christmas Sorrow And Joy – It May (Actually) Be The Same Beautiful Gift

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Got time to open a gift, friend, regardless of the packaging?

Our family got a Christmas tree together in the woods this week, which is a perfect family experience that we (of course) always end up having!

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

Even my doggy helped us find the right tree for us!1

But did we hold hands and sing Christmas carols the entire time, you wonder, with rapt attention?

That wasn’t EXACTLY the case if I’m completely honest, which, of course, I am all of the time when I write online.

In fact, upon careful reflection after this event, at least one person was mad at another almost the entire time! (But not me! I was only mad twice during that whole time! And I was only involved in one of the fights over which Christmas tree to get!)

Other than that (I.e., THEM), we had a wonderful family time!

Reflecting on this experience made me realize that getting a Christmas tree was like a mini microcosm that reflected our entire year2.

This experience also reflects all of our homeschooling times, where joy and sorrow are combined, sometimes even at the same time, and always in the same day.

And so, why is the gift of Christmas sorrow and joy (basically) the same thing? Because we are little bundles of joy and sadness all mixed up together. Both are inside the package of “us” at any one time, if we know where to look.

I’ll illustrate with another example that happened again when we were decorating our tree this morning.

When I was about to hang up the Christmas ornament that reminded me of my dad, who passed away a few years ago, I blurted in uncharacteristic honesty, “You know, I’m sometimes still mad at my dad for dying!” My kids looked at me with their wide, astonished eyes, their Christmas tree ornaments held in mid-air, candy canes about to fall out of their mouths, wondering (with a bit of trepidation, perhaps?) what would come out of my mouth next. But my husband knew that I just needed a hug and a little cry.

And then I was fine again and joined in our after-we-put-up-the Christmas-tree family dance.

Because even on our best vacation, the one where we “get away from it all,” the shadows of sorrow follow us. And even the longest, darkest, most desperate night carries within it the inevitable threat and hope of dawn.

We can never completely release ourselves from either sorrow or joy because we have both within us all the time.

So may our lopsided tree, with a few sparse spots, remind us that the journey to finding Christmas hope isn’t always as straightforward as we would like it to be.

But may we savor the joy of each day, release the sadness when necessary, and anticipate our inevitable transformation that both the gifts of joy and sorrow bring, as we hold the hand of God, put on our ears to hear the voice of Holy Spirit better, and follow Jesus on the next step of our spiritual journeys this season.

Merry Christmas, friend.

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

1 Check out his ridiculously snow-packed paws! He was busy digging up the tree to contribute in his unique way, too! (Like when he barfed that OTHER TIME.)

2 For a COMPLETE, in-depth summary of our year, read more HERE.

The Exciting Gift Your Heart Craves Is Found Under Your Neuroses! Surprise!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Got time to open a present, friend?

selective focus photography of gift box on person's palm

I was spinning in circles, putting up a decoration on the tree with one revolution, beating back my dog in the daily effort of chaos management, who was sneaking licks of the Christmas pudding, again, trying to find my worst, ugliest Christmas sweater in time for the curling party, while still spinning the plates that keep our lives circling round and round – food prep, clean up, laundry, and then the alarm rang in the early hours of the winter dark to do it all again.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Join people in over fifty countries who read this stuff to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

8 Funny Things They Said About Love, Homeschooling, And Healthy Food That Will Make You Laugh (At Them)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

woman in black and white crew neck shirt smiling

We enjoy publishing a letter and sending it to all our friends and family for the Holidays.

In this letter, we tell you some of the embarrassing things they (the other family members and friends) said last year!

(Yes, I take notes on what my friends and family say all year, JUST for this express purpose!)

For some reason, however, not many people talk to me much at the beginning of each year, and they seem a bit sulky. But don’t worry – it doesn’t last long!

I’m glad that YOU like me, at least!

On Love

I was looking at my husband with tears filling my eyes after I opened a glimpse of pain deep within my heart.

Andy looked back at me and . . . smirked (!)

Me: “Why are you smirking!?”

Andy: “I think you’re just PMS-ing.”

Andy laughs.

I realize he’s probably right and think, “You know you’ve been married a long time when…”

While driving to the ski hill:

Me to Andy: “Why don’t we drop off our ski boots first this time and then…” etc.

Andy: “But I always do it the same way!”

I thought, “Well, I guess that topic has now been exhausted for all time!”

I can sense a compliment coming. I wait in eager anticipation:

Andy: “Thank you for being so… nice.”

Me: (!!!)

On Homeschooling

The perils of playing board games with homeschooled kids:

I borrowed a board game from the library based on the movie “Dune.” We recently watched the movie together as a family.

Kyah: “I can’t play that board game!” she announced, frustrated.

Me: “Why?”

Kyah: “I haven’t finished reading the book yet!”

Me: “Maybe you want to play squash with me sometime, Kyah?”

Kyah: “Well, I don’t know. I’m pretty aggressive…” (Even though the wind blows her over sometimes)

Kyah continued, “And I also have martial arts, so I’m pretty busy…”

Kyah: “But I love you so… Yeah, sure.”

On Choosing Healthy Food

Andy called me when he was out buying groceries from the list I wrote for him:

Andy: “So when it says, ‘soy sauce,’ do you mean… ?” He lists 10 related items and brands.

Me: “No, when I say ‘soy sauce,’ I mean the stuff that isn’t actually soy sauce. It says ‘liquid aminos’ or something like that on the bottle.”

Andy: “Oh, ok.”

Andy: “When it says ‘noodles- mushroom’, what kind of noodles are those?”

Me: “Those are the ones that aren’t actually noodles. They just look like noodles. They’re long and thin. They’re in the mushroom section. I don’t know what they’re called.”

Etc.

Etc.

Me: “I feel better because I fasted and prayed today. It gives me hope.”

Andy: “I didn’t fast, but I did have a chicken salad sandwich from X restaurant today, so . . . that probably counts.”

Me: (?) “And why is that?”

Andy: “Because it’s not very good! I didn’t have lunch from Y restaurant!”

So, “fasting” for Andy means eating out at a lower-star-eating establishment. Well, we all start somewhere!

I offered our friend a chocolate chip cookie. She excitedly stretched out her hand to take one, but then a look of horror came over her face, and her hand hovered above the plate mid-air.

She asked with increasing trepidation, “Wait. These don’t have black beans or something like that in them again, do they?!”

Happy New Year, friends.

(May you laugh much at your ridiculousness in the coming year, too!)

God will let you laugh again

The Message

Oh, and remember!

The next time you say something stupid (i.e., today?), don’t forget to send it to me so we can laugh at you, too, next January!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

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Rise Above Frantic Holiday Shopping To Immediately Like Yourself More!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
red bauble on brown giftbox

It was like he pushed his boot through the book he wrote, the one I was reading, and kicked me in the rear.

Ouch!

“What did you do that for?” I asked the book accusingly.

Click here to continue reading this previously published post.

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and to inflate my ego!

Simple Mistakes That Make You Celebrate Halloween Like A Loser!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
group of men in black and yellow crew neck t-shirts sitting on green grass field
Photo by Joppe Spaa on Unsplash

I was in Dollarama minding my business when a stranger opened her heart to me.

I was as surprised then as you are now, reading this. We were standing near the Halloween decorations, and as she vented, more of her heart came out. “I’m just not sure I agree with these gross decorations and letting my kids dress up as such violent characters.”

Perhaps it was because my homeschooled kids had commented as they walked by the Halloween decor along the lines that the costuming was icky.

I’m unsure if that made this stranger feel I could be her confidante. It seemed she was processing her thoughts aloud as she let them out. But this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

Maybe it’s the fact that more people are accidentally getting themselves in trouble stepping into actual demonic realms, or maybe it’s because skull and demon fashion decor trends are dipping, but we clearly have modern Halloween bystanders who seem uncertain about the whole thing, especially the more disgusting the decor becomes.

But we’re not talking about that today.

We’re talking about how not to look like a loser on Halloween!

To me, Halloween feels like the desire to hang out with the cool kids, but thinking that the cool kids are a bit gross. There’s this cultural desire, or maybe the pull of candy and the fun of dressing up, because I want to play, too! But really? Why are there cut-off body parts right there?

Anyway, let’s talk about how to avoid celebrating Halloween like a loser.

To do that we will need to learn some history.

The eve of All Saints Day, or All Hollows Day (shortened to Halloween) was a day initially designed to celebrate God’s victory and even to mock the devil’s defeat.

“Let’s get free of God!” . . . Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing. At first he’s amused at their presumption. . .

The Message

We’re saying to the devil that, “Hey! You’re on the losing team because Jesus has defeated you on the cross!” But when we honor and try to lift the satanic, like those 10-foot demon statues sometimes put on lawns, were saying “I’m voting for the losing team!”

And that’s how we celebrate Halloween like a loser.

So how do we celebrate Halloween like a winner?

Again, let’s turn to history.

On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther set the world on fire by birthing a reformation within the Catholic church (He did this by nailing his “Theses” to a church door -The modern precursor to email).

On October 31, nearly 400 years later, the Welsh Revival was birthed, and 80,000 people decided to follow Christ in less than four months (That was more than simply a good marketing campaign!) This move of God then spread around the world.

October 31 is a day of great victory for God!

So let’s dress up, enjoy hot chocolate and friendship, and celebrate like a winner. Jesus won the ultimate victory, although that victory hasn’t seen its full fruition yet and won’t until He comes back again. But we know where the final victory lies!

So we can celebrate October 31 like winners.

And so, stick with me if you want to be cool at Halloween!

O.K., you might not be cool, but at least you won’t celebrate with the losing team!

And that’s one step toward fitting in with our culture, being cool so people will like us, and making sure we’re doing the same things as everyone else regardless of whether or not our gut instincts wonder if we’re celebrating with the right team! (See first paragraph).

You’re welcome!

Good luck!