holidays

8 Funny Things They Said About Love, Homeschooling, And Healthy Food That Will Make You Laugh (At Them)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

woman in black and white crew neck shirt smiling

We enjoy publishing a letter and sending it to all our friends and family for the Holidays.

In this letter, we tell you some of the embarrassing things they (the other family members and friends) said last year!

(Yes, I take notes on what my friends and family say all year, JUST for this express purpose!)

For some reason, however, not many people talk to me much at the beginning of each year, and they seem a bit sulky. But don’t worry – it doesn’t last long!

I’m glad that YOU like me, at least!

On Love

I was looking at my husband with tears filling my eyes after I opened a glimpse of pain deep within my heart.

Andy looked back at me and . . . smirked (!)

Me: “Why are you smirking!?”

Andy: “I think you’re just PMS-ing.”

Andy laughs.

I realize he’s probably right and think, “You know you’ve been married a long time when…”

While driving to the ski hill:

Me to Andy: “Why don’t we drop off our ski boots first this time and then…” etc.

Andy: “But I always do it the same way!”

I thought, “Well, I guess that topic has now been exhausted for all time!”

I can sense a compliment coming. I wait in eager anticipation:

Andy: “Thank you for being so… nice.”

Me: (!!!)

On Homeschooling

The perils of playing board games with homeschooled kids:

I borrowed a board game from the library based on the movie “Dune.” We recently watched the movie together as a family.

Kyah: “I can’t play that board game!” she announced, frustrated.

Me: “Why?”

Kyah: “I haven’t finished reading the book yet!”

Me: “Maybe you want to play squash with me sometime, Kyah?”

Kyah: “Well, I don’t know. I’m pretty aggressive…” (Even though the wind blows her over sometimes)

Kyah continued, “And I also have martial arts, so I’m pretty busy…”

Kyah: “But I love you so… Yeah, sure.”

On Choosing Healthy Food

Andy called me when he was out buying groceries from the list I wrote for him:

Andy: “So when it says, ‘soy sauce,’ do you mean… ?” He lists 10 related items and brands.

Me: “No, when I say ‘soy sauce,’ I mean the stuff that isn’t actually soy sauce. It says ‘liquid aminos’ or something like that on the bottle.”

Andy: “Oh, ok.”

Andy: “When it says ‘noodles- mushroom’, what kind of noodles are those?”

Me: “Those are the ones that aren’t actually noodles. They just look like noodles. They’re long and thin. They’re in the mushroom section. I don’t know what they’re called.”

Etc.

Etc.

Me: “I feel better because I fasted and prayed today. It gives me hope.”

Andy: “I didn’t fast, but I did have a chicken salad sandwich from X restaurant today, so . . . that probably counts.”

Me: (?) “And why is that?”

Andy: “Because it’s not very good! I didn’t have lunch from Y restaurant!”

So, “fasting” for Andy means eating out at a lower-star-eating establishment. Well, we all start somewhere!

I offered our friend a chocolate chip cookie. She excitedly stretched out her hand to take one, but then a look of horror came over her face, and her hand hovered above the plate mid-air.

She asked with increasing trepidation, “Wait. These don’t have black beans or something like that in them again, do they?!”

Happy New Year, friends.

(May you laugh much at your ridiculousness in the coming year, too!)

God will let you laugh again

The Message

Oh, and remember!

The next time you say something stupid (i.e., today?), don’t forget to send it to me so we can laugh at you, too, next January!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

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Rise Above Frantic Holiday Shopping To Immediately Like Yourself More!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
red bauble on brown giftbox

It was like he pushed his boot through the book he wrote, the one I was reading, and kicked me in the rear.

Ouch!

“What did you do that for?” I asked the book accusingly.

Click here to continue reading this previously published post.

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Simple Mistakes That Make You Celebrate Halloween Like A Loser!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
group of men in black and yellow crew neck t-shirts sitting on green grass field
Photo by Joppe Spaa on Unsplash

I was in Dollarama minding my business when a stranger opened her heart to me.

I was as surprised then as you are now, reading this. We were standing near the Halloween decorations, and as she vented, more of her heart came out. “I’m just not sure I agree with these gross decorations and letting my kids dress up as such violent characters.”

Perhaps it was because my homeschooled kids had commented as they walked by the Halloween decor along the lines that the costuming was icky.

I’m unsure if that made this stranger feel I could be her confidante. It seemed she was processing her thoughts aloud as she let them out. But this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

Maybe it’s the fact that more people are accidentally getting themselves in trouble stepping into actual demonic realms, or maybe it’s because skull and demon fashion decor trends are dipping, but we clearly have modern Halloween bystanders who seem uncertain about the whole thing, especially the more disgusting the decor becomes.

But we’re not talking about that today.

We’re talking about how not to look like a loser on Halloween!

To me, Halloween feels like the desire to hang out with the cool kids, but thinking that the cool kids are a bit gross. There’s this cultural desire, or maybe the pull of candy and the fun of dressing up, because I want to play, too! But really? Why are there cut-off body parts right there?

Anyway, let’s talk about how to avoid celebrating Halloween like a loser.

To do that we will need to learn some history.

The eve of All Saints Day, or All Hollows Day (shortened to Halloween) was a day initially designed to celebrate God’s victory and even to mock the devil’s defeat.

“Let’s get free of God!” . . . Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing. At first he’s amused at their presumption. . .

The Message

We’re saying to the devil that, “Hey! You’re on the losing team because Jesus has defeated you on the cross!” But when we honor and try to lift the satanic, like those 10-foot demon statues sometimes put on lawns, were saying “I’m voting for the losing team!”

And that’s how we celebrate Halloween like a loser.

So how do we celebrate Halloween like a winner?

Again, let’s turn to history.

On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther set the world on fire by birthing a reformation within the Catholic church (He did this by nailing his “Theses” to a church door -The modern precursor to email).

On October 31, nearly 400 years later, the Welsh Revival was birthed, and 80,000 people decided to follow Christ in less than four months (That was more than simply a good marketing campaign!) This move of God then spread around the world.

October 31 is a day of great victory for God!

So let’s dress up, enjoy hot chocolate and friendship, and celebrate like a winner. Jesus won the ultimate victory, although that victory hasn’t seen its full fruition yet and won’t until He comes back again. But we know where the final victory lies!

So we can celebrate October 31 like winners.

And so, stick with me if you want to be cool at Halloween!

O.K., you might not be cool, but at least you won’t celebrate with the losing team!

And that’s one step toward fitting in with our culture, being cool so people will like us, and making sure we’re doing the same things as everyone else regardless of whether or not our gut instincts wonder if we’re celebrating with the right team! (See first paragraph).

You’re welcome!

Good luck!