Why You Should Read This Instead of Goal-Setting! AND 10 Funny Things They Said About Homeschooling, Aging, And Love!

Got time to join us for a laugh, friend? (Put the goal-setting pencil aside for a bit.)

a group of people holding glasses of wine

I’m in extended holiday mode, so I’m not (quite) ready yet to set new goals, that I won’t achieve anyway.

However, stay tuned tomorrow (or soon) for how to start the year at a sprinter’s pace! (Though we will already be a bit behind because we are beginning our energetic goal setting a day too late!). Dang!

The new year has barely started, and you’re already a loser!

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

How to catch up and pass everyone else (Or how to at least stay in the race a bit longer) will be discussed tomorrow (or soon)!

“We’re just happy to be here!”

Said Jen and I, to explain why we didn’t want the number of Devil’s Press (NOTICE the name, anyway?) and other exercises recorded that our team completed at the “Competitive-Partner-Get-Fit-Day” at the gym.

Anyway, I hope you also feel encouraged to start your New Year off with a bang of frenzied activity (That you’ll do soon)!

For now, as clearly and thoroughly elaborated in THIS ARTICLE, here is one of our past holiday newsletters to amuse you, while you look around for your pencil today to enthusiastically write out all of your life goals tomorrow!


Now, most homeschooling moms are looking forward to sitting on the couch with a glass of vodka after Christmas.

No, don’t get me wrong! I MEANT a tiny splash of rum in our Christmas eggnog! I am always misunderstood!

But instead of doing that, I wrote this holiday newsletter!

Anyway, it would have been preferable to have one of those lovely family Christmas photos – You know, where everyone is wearing those matching red hats, but who has time to book a photographer, coordinate ridiculously busy schedules, etc.?

This photo (SEE DISCLAIMER!)1 will have to do. We took it tonight, impromptu. Sure, some of us MAY be in costume attire, but this is what we look like. On reflection, elf suits may have been a slight improvement.

In past years, we included memorable quotes from various family members in our New Year / Holiday letters. This year, we include ten quotes on Homeschooling, Aging, and Love. Enjoy!


On Homeschooling

Kyah: “I’ve had a pretty good day so far!” Time: 7:13 am


Andy: After his shower, “Hey! Where was my soap? I couldn’t find it?!!”

Me: “Oh, sorry! Kyah carved it into a turtle and entered it in the fall fair yesterday!”


I mentioned lunch.

Kyah: “Mmm…lunch!”

What she was doing – eating breakfast!


Kyah was having an in-depth Zoom discussion with budding philosophers about the Easter holiday.

Suddenly, a shrill 10-year-old voice from Pennsylvania emanated from the computer, “Well, I think the Easter bunny should go to hell because . . .” An impassioned speech followed. A lot of great learning and critical thinking is in progress!

(She may need a bit more work on theology.)


On Aging

Me: “Where do you want to be in five years?”

Andy: “Where you are…!!!”

Me: (Oh!!)

Kyah: “And I can help you up the stairs!”

Me, thinking: “Will we functionally be 100-year-olds in just five years?”


Andy: “Next June, I will be 50. We should have a massive party.”

Andy remembered that we had a big 1990s party for him when he turned 30. Andy continued, “We can have another 1990s party! We can wear . . . jeans and . . . all the clothes I wear now…” … “and we can listen to … all the music I still listen to now!”


Esther: “I feel so much older now that I am seventeen. It’s a big difference from being sixteen, or fifteen, or fourteen. I don’t know why. Do you think it’s because seventeen has an extra syllable?”


Esther to me: “Whenever I make my hair look like yours, I get compliments. Whenever I wear your clothes, I get compliments.”

Me thinking: “I’m not completely irrelevant, yet!”


On Love

Andy: “I like it when you talk.”

Me: “What??”…(!)

Andy: “Well, most of the time.”


Kyah: “You are the best Mom.”

Me: “Well, thank you, Kyah, but I don’t think that’s true.”

Kyah: “No one is perfect, but you are the best Mom for me.”


And so we may not be perfect, but we are the best people that God put in our lives for each other.

I know that’s true with your family and friends, too!

Happy New Year!


Oh! And I think professional online writers like me are supposed to encourage you, especially on New Years! And so, as this song sings, “. . . make a list and do not make it brief. Write down every single wish and every little thing that you want” (Seriously2?) – Well, good luck with that!

As for me, today I plan on doing a little more skate skiing, enjoying my favorite soup with friends and family, and trying out some of the new board games we received at Christmas.

(And as you write your exhaustive to-do list for the year, remember to keep one ear open to Holy Spirit. You’ll have more luck pursuing the activities God is ushering you into in your next season.) However, to be safe and ensure we are actively setting goals to be like everyone else, we will soon discuss setting not S.M.A.R.T. goals, but S.T.U.P.I.D. goals, to help you even more!

Stay tuned!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HEREHERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!


Photo Credit – Happy New Year! by Debra Manny Mosley on Unsplash and It’s Us!


1 DISCLAIMER: My family stays mad at me for longer each time I post embarrassing things about them on the internet lately (It’s not like ALL of the five billion people on the internet read every word!). However, to keep them happy, I deleted the photo of my entire family that accompanied this article. They didn’t want the family photo posted SIMPLY because some of them were wearing dress-up clothes, pajamas, or something (I couldn’t keep track of ALL their complaints). Anyway, good thing you like me!

2 My wants (synonymous with needs, in my case) are a giant bucket without a bottom that would completely consume me as well if I focused too much on them! But whatever works for you!

The Truth About Christmas Sorrow And Joy – It May (Actually) Be The Same Beautiful Gift

Got time to open a gift, friend, regardless of the packaging?

Our family got a Christmas tree together in the woods this week, which is a perfect family experience that we (of course) always end up having!

Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

Even my doggy helped us find the right tree for us!1

But did we hold hands and sing Christmas carols the entire time, you wonder, with rapt attention?

That wasn’t EXACTLY the case if I’m completely honest, which, of course, I am all of the time when I write online.

In fact, upon careful reflection after this event, at least one person was mad at another almost the entire time! (But not me! I was only mad twice during that whole time! And I was only involved in one of the fights over which Christmas tree to get!)

Other than that (I.e., THEM), we had a wonderful family time!

Reflecting on this experience made me realize that getting a Christmas tree was like a mini microcosm that reflected our entire year2.

This experience also reflects all of our homeschooling times, where joy and sorrow are combined, sometimes even at the same time, and always in the same day.

And so, why is the gift of Christmas sorrow and joy (basically) the same thing? Because we are little bundles of joy and sadness all mixed up together. Both are inside the package of “us” at any one time, if we know where to look.

I’ll illustrate with another example that happened again when we were decorating our tree this morning.

When I was about to hang up the Christmas ornament that reminded me of my dad, who passed away a few years ago, I blurted in uncharacteristic honesty, “You know, I’m sometimes still mad at my dad for dying!” My kids looked at me with their wide, astonished eyes, their Christmas tree ornaments held in mid-air, candy canes about to fall out of their mouths, wondering (with a bit of trepidation, perhaps?) what would come out of my mouth next. But my husband knew that I just needed a hug and a little cry.

And then I was fine again and joined in our after-we-put-up-the Christmas-tree family dance.

Because even on our best vacation, the one where we “get away from it all,” the shadows of sorrow follow us. And even the longest, darkest, most desperate night carries within it the inevitable threat and hope of dawn.

We can never completely release ourselves from either sorrow or joy because we have both within us all the time.

So may our lopsided tree, with a few sparse spots, remind us that the journey to finding Christmas hope isn’t always as straightforward as we would like it to be.

But may we savor the joy of each day, release the sadness when necessary, and anticipate our inevitable transformation that both the gifts of joy and sorrow bring, as we hold the hand of God, put on our ears to hear the voice of Holy Spirit better, and follow Jesus on the next step of our spiritual journeys this season.

Merry Christmas, friend.

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HEREHERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

1 Check out his ridiculously snow-packed paws! He was busy digging up the tree to contribute in his unique way, too! (Like when he barfed that OTHER TIME.)

2 For a COMPLETE, in-depth summary of our year, read more HERE.

The Exciting Gift Your Heart Craves Is Found Under Your Neuroses! Surprise!

Got time to open a present, friend?

selective focus photography of gift box on person's palm

I was spinning in circles, putting up a decoration on the tree with one revolution, beating back my dog in the daily effort of chaos management, who was sneaking licks of the Christmas pudding, again, trying to find my worst, ugliest Christmas sweater in time for the curling party, while still spinning the plates that keep our lives circling round and round – food prep, clean up, laundry, and then the alarm rang in the early hours of the winter dark to do it all again.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Join people in over fifty countries who read this stuff to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)

Parents CAN Empower Kids To Find The Gift Of True Easter Joy – It’s Here!

man in bunny costume in mid air in time lapse photography

Sometimes we mess up holidays.

For example, a stranger at the Dollar Store once asked me if I thought there was something not-quite-right about Hallowe’en. I asked if it was perhaps the sweet little kids combined with creepy maiming imagery that seemed off. Or is it just me?

woman in gray crew neck shirt

Click HERE to continue reading this post.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HEREHERE and HERE!) Let’s journey together!

Two More Funny Things They Said About Nature And Growth That Will Make You Laugh (NOT at ME!)

Two autistic friends sitting outside using stim toys and laughing at their phones
Photo by Hiki App on Unsplash

My family, it seems, is seeking some sort of revenge because of the embarrassing things I wrote about them and posted on the internet this week.

But I don’t think that kind of attitude is a very Christian response! We are supposed to forgive those who wrong us! Wait – Let me find the right Bible passage to support my cause.

Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

The Message

You see?

I am right. And what’s the big deal about posting embarrassing stuff about them on the internet, anyway? I mean, just because there are 5 billion people online, it’s not like everyone is going to read it ALL! People are so sensitive and get easily offended nowadays!

Since that post, my friends and family have been looking for the notebook where they wrote the embarrassing and stupid things that I said last year, but I lost it.

Or – I mean, THEY lost it.

Whatever.

Well, I think I’ll publish a few more silly things they said because we all should learn to have a bit thicker skin in life!

Here’s another bible verse that also, coincidentally, supports my cause!

The fear of human opinion disables . . .

The Message

We’re all learning and growing together, in love and good will, which is what matters most anyway!

May you be blessed with many fruitful and supportive relationships in this year, too!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!


On Appreciating The Important Things In Life

I heard one family member loudly yelling, while he was still a long way off:

He said: “NATURE IS . . .”

There was a long pause as he searched for a an exact word to express his strong emotion –

“. . . STUPID!!!”

(This happened the day the mice chewed through the rubber bottom of our garage door, the bear destroyed the new apple tree we planted that year, and he opened the barbeque to discover a rat looking sweetly up at him.)


On Learning New Things

We’re all learning new languages on Duolingo

A family member shouted one day: “Hey, I can understand everything!”

He thinks momentarily and then clarifies, “But I can’t say much.”

He thinks a bit longer and then says: “No, wait. I can’t understand anything really, yet either.”


Happy New Year!

May you learn a lot of new things this year, too!

a large fireworks display with a castle in the background
Photo by Joshua Kettle on Unsplash

Another voice: Oh yes! I know how to publish on her blog when she isn’t looking. She did the same thing to me one year by publishing her stuff on my blog when I wasn’t looking!

Here:


Kyah: “Mom is very good at apologizing.”

Me, feeling pretty good about myself!

Kyah: “She’s very good at being mean and then apologizing.”


I was upset: “I just got a big food stain on my new yellow sweater!”

Andy: “You do too much work around the house to wear clean stuff like that!”

Me: (!!!)


Andy: Remember when you started crying when the other people took the last hummus at the grocery store?

Me: Yes, but what’s the point! They eventually gave me the hummus because they felt sorry for me!

Me: There were FOUR DIFFERENT FLAVORS of hummus!


Esther: “That movie character* reminds me of you.”

Me: “Oh really? Why?”

Esther: “Well, she’s really sweet and wise, but she’s also a bit of a spitfire, and her kids are kind of afraid of her.”

Me: (!!!) Huh?!

*Mrs. Weasley in Harry Potter and Edna in The Incredibles


Andy: “You’re so wise. You’re like a female version of Gandalf.”

Me: (!!!)

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Advice: Toss Christmas Booze! (Try Drowning Sorrows Here Instead)

I looked for a regular Christmas picture of our family (so I could prove to you all how proper we are and suitably impressive in demeanour), but all I could find were these photos.

Our kids are SO wiggly and annoying that they wouldn’t stand still long enough to get a proper photo!

Yes, that’s me on the right. (Why do you ask?) Well, I guess this one below will have to do.

Merry Christmas!

Oh – and just a little bit of advice – I know that’s why you read this stuff, after all!

Ahem . . .

If you are tempted to turn to the Christmas booze or whatever your vice* of choice is today, remember – try God instead!

Then you can have the enviable advantage over others** of being perceived as (relatively) “regular” like us!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Footnotes

*PS – All of us carry pain within, friend. Seriously, God has a path out of the mess. What’s your next step?

**The point of life is to look normal! (Isn’t it? It’s too bad my editor has the day off, or she could fix this.) “What is the point of life?” I wonder. Well, I’ll tell you the answer next time, friends! In the meantime, I wonder if I should get some booze for this growing existential angst I’m feeling today or … wait – I’ll ask God!

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.

The Message

I hope you take another step towards the One who quells your chaos, too, friend.

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Rise Above Frantic Holiday Shopping To Immediately Like Yourself More!

red bauble on brown giftbox

It was like he pushed his boot through the book he wrote, the one I was reading, and kicked me in the rear.

Ouch!

“What did you do that for?” I asked the book accusingly.

Click here to continue reading this previously published post.

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