What if being healed might be as easy as finding your ears?
She was a shell.
She was skinny and sickly, often lost in her little world. Her stomach racked her in pain. Friends were elusive.
She was unhappy, never having (even once!) exploded in childhood giggles that should have been her right.
My husband and I oscillated between worry and confidence that she would grow out of “this.” One of us, either he or I, carried the ball of fear for this child. The ball of concern never went away.
“Yeah, I don’t even know how I found her,” I mentioned to my husband offhandedly, as I distractedly finished my lunch. I had forgotten.
Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)
We were talking about my chiropractor, who was like a gift from God, healing my back with her expertise.
The next morning, my prayer group reminded me how I had found her. Years earlier, a friend had some trouble with her foot. She mentioned the name of the person who is now my chiropractor.
Her, Holy Spirit seemed to nudge my heart.
My friend was reluctant to share her contact information with me. “I have no idea if she even adjusts backs,” she cautioned.
Her, Holy Spirit seemed to repeat.
I was in a phase of rejecting all therapy at that time.
Everything I tried, every physiotherapist, chiropractor, masseuse, and others had made me worse. Much worse. I was afraid to try anyone else.
“I’ll just have to solve this on my own,” I had thought.
But with a nudge from God, I made the call. I was tense and nervous in her office that first day. But she became the gift God gave to me.
And I was thankful for her.
Until I forgot about her (Hey! It happens!)
Months later, I hobbled around, one hand on my back, bent over and twisted.
Aside: This is a picture of me at the gym so you can be suitably impressed with how strong I am!
Wait – I meant to put in this picture1, below – Whatever!
But on that (annoying) day, after my too-intense workout, I could feel my lower back muscles clench, pushing me into a C-shape. “This strain will probably get better on its own,” I thought. I was in denial, again, but my body kept slowly bending me over.
The name of my chiropractor popped into my head.
Oh right! But we were leaving on holiday.
I didn’t think I had the time to see her, and she is normally booked weeks in advance, anyway.
I continued to pack, holding my aching back. But again, and again, the chiropractor’s name went through my head that morning, as I was thinking of other things. This is one of the ways God speaks to us.
I finally called the chiropractor, the one I hadn’t seen in five months, the one I had somehow forgotten about after a season of happy back. She surprisingly had one cancellation that morning, which worked perfectly before we left on holiday. Her touch was like the hand of God.
I don’t mean to be overly dramatic, but that is how it felt to me.
My body obeyed the chiropractor’s touch and re-aligned. My posture was upright. I (carefully) went about my day, and in only several days, instead of several months, I was running again.
I could run faster, complete the triathlon, and horse around with the kids again sooner, much sooner.
(There is another and another who helped my back a ton as well, but those are different stories.)
God walked with me in my pain, and His Spirit guided me to a person who used her skills to allow God’s healing through my body.
And I have remembered, now, to be thankful to God for her, too.
If I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me.
God, you long to give out treasures, but we so infrequently come to You to receive. Help us, Jesus, to run to You as a small child in distress runs to their parent, longing for an embrace. May we trust You more deeply with our headaches, heartaches, body aches, and spiritual aches.
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credit – Yeah! I Feel Like That, Too! by Thomas Oxford on Unsplash, Me! by Random Person Standing Nearby, and Wow! She’s STRONG! by Marvin Cors on Unsplash (No Wait – Reverse The Order Of Those Last Two Photos – Whatever!)
1 What? WHO said that’s a “Training Bar” and “Training Weights”! You can’t prove it from that photo! (To my editor: Can they?)
As mentioned HERE, I hate it when others (or even the best side of me!) tell me what to do!
“Stop being so bossy!” I yell at them, or even at myself. But if I get some exercise, I don’t immediately want two pieces of cake (it takes a few hours). Being the kind of person who exercises changes my identity, so better dietary habits come a little more easily.
“I’M THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GOES TO THE GYM”, my mind tells my mouth.
An energy ball (or other healthier treat) suddenly seems more appealing, anyway, right now, is how I feel.
Who we believe we are drives our behavior.
So, (1) Go to the gym or get outside for a walk or run to begin to change your own idea of who you are!
And when do we start this? We can even begin this type of identity transformation before we get to the gym if we are experts! For example, once my friend said,
“I go swimming three times a week!”
“Oh wow!” I said. “How long have you been doing that?”
“I went swimming twice!” he continued.
He knows who he is! A swimmer! Showing up at the pool is that much easier, friends!
If that fails, then another great identity hack to help us choose healthier habits is (of course) to:
(2) Pretend to be someone else! (This is one of my favorite life and identity hacks.) More on this HERE!
And whichever of these two identity hacks you choose, remember to be S.T.U.P.I.D. about it while you’re at it! (Explanation HERE.)
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Oh! And did you know that God is constantly whispering to us, asking us to change our view of ourselves, too?
If you knew who God made you to be, you’d never want to be anyone else.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
As the song below sings, “You call me deeper still into love . . .” consider asking God, “How do I see myself differently from how You see me?” And may who you believe you are align exactly with how God sees you, friend. (Everything gets easier to DO when we have a closer understanding of who we really ARE.)
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!
1 NOT like many of the people who read these articles who laugh at all the serious stuff and are serious when it’s time to laugh at my funny jokes! Why?
This article will outline how you, too, can learn to begin to LOVE practicing healthy habits OR if not, how to at least delude yourself into thinking you enjoy healthy habits! Anyway, what’s the difference between loving healthier habits and deluding yourself that you love healthier habits? But more about deluding ourselves successfully another time!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Today, we’ll start by understanding what motivates us to practice healthier eating and exercise habits. I’m actually the kind of person, for example, who hates it when people tell me what to do. I figured this out one afternoon when I was frothing at the mouth and making myself some tea.
Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)
“How dare THEY tell ME when to drink this tea?”, I thought, fuming. “I’ll drink it in the afternoon instead, just to spite them!” The tea was called English BREAKFAST tea. BREAKFAST. I guess you’re supposed to drink it at BREAKFAST.
Maybe this is an item I should get counselling for, too, but my hard-working counsellor hasn’t gotten this far down the list of priority items yet.
I know I could have been, actually, a lot more successful in life if I had taken people’s advice a little more easily. You can check out my daughter’s blog for that. For example, in one of her articles, she mentions some stuff she learned from me!
I’m sure she’ll go far (because it’s ME who told her stuff).
Wait: THE POINT was that we are humble enough to receive advice from others. Same thing! Anyway, we are who we are.
I know myself, and if someone tells ME to do or not do something, even if it’s myself telling me to choose healthier habits, I’ll probably want to kill them or me. Take your pick. No, we need another method than simply muscling through and doing stuff we hate.
Here’s the trick to learning to LOVE to implement healthier habits: Know, think about, meditate on your BIG, HUGE “Why?”
Why should you implement healthier habits?
The caring about how you look in a bathing suit when a massive slice of chocolate cake is calling your name stops mattering after middle school. That “Why?” won’t cut it.
How about a few more years in your own home, rather than an old folks’ home? That’s a goal to light a bit of a fire behind our butts, still in bed, scrolling on our phones.
There are good reasons to get up and to get to the gym or outside for some heart-pumping exercise. And if we can get there, our identity changes a bit, making it MUCH easier to implement your next healthy habit. But more on that next time.
I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. . . . easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites. But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven!
It’s only taken me seven months to arrive, so now I can tell others what to do! I sized them up as newbies and immediately joined their group. I looked forward to showing off my knowledge, to “encourage” them, of course.
Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)
This is not even a lie, but in the first set of exercises, I somehow got confused and started doing exercises from the other set.
The two newbies patiently explained to me how to rotate through the three exercises that were listed on the board right in front of me.
“Well, everyone makes a mistake at some point!” I thought to myself.
I sulked while doing the triceps extension exercise, and then the new lady had the audacity to lean over and tell ME to pull my lats down before extending my arms.
I felt like throttling her because I’VE been going to the gym for a while – not YOU! I’M the one who’s supposed to know what’s going on here – not YOU! I’M the one who’s getting stronger – not YOU!
During the break, the irritating newbie who knew what was going on all the time revealed that she used to be an exercise instructor.
“Bad luck!” I thought, waiting for my next victim, a new person at the gym.
Sooner or later, I’ve got to be able to “help” someone else so I can feel1 superior to someone!
The instructors asked us to set a fitness goal for the new year in that class that day. The only one I could think of was the one the instructor had told me. One day, when she was shocked at my (relative) improvement, she blurted out that she thought I could do one (yes, that’s ONE) pull-up next year (yes, that’s next YEAR) if I keep coming to the gym every day and keep working hard!
Still, she thinks I will get stronger because I KEEP COMING BACK to the gym, even though everyone else (show-offs!) always seems to know what’s going on all the time, and even though I might not (always!) be impressive to look at when I’m at the gym.
AND you WILL get fitter, too, if you are S.T.U.P.I.D., not S.M.A.R.T.
“What do you mean,” you ask, scratching your head.
Last time, we discussed how the best types of goals are S.T.U.P.I.D., not S.M.A.R.T. A S.M.A.R.T. goal is (See the Footnote2 – They are boring to read about!), but S.T.U.P.I.D. goals are based (however loosely) on the high-powered acronym full of immense wisdom, “K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple, STUPID.” (See full explanation of the details of S.T.U.P.I.D. Goal Setting HERE.)
So setting a S.T.U.P.I.D. goal means that you keep it simple and choose TO KEEP GOING.
For example, if you KEEP GOING to the gym, even if you’re not very strong and you still don’t know what’s going on after seven months, you will actually get fitter because you’ve set a S.T.U.P.I.D. goal.
“I’m going to KEEP GOING” to the gym is my S.T.U.P.I.D. goal. It’s simple. I keep going, S.T.U.P.I.D.!
So set a S.T.U.P.I.D. fitness goal and then keep going!
We are getting stronger, even if we’re not really much “help” to anyone else practically, and we still get confused (sometimes!).
So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.
Setting S.T.U.P.I.D. goals is similarly immensely important for other areas of life, including emotional and spiritual growth. However, you can’t expect me to share ALL my manifest wisdom at once! Stay tuned for next time, and I’ll continue to draw on the insights gained from my time at the gym and in life, in general, so that I can continue to “help” you, too!
Today, we will discuss the importance of goal planning. I have already outlined the critical requirements for setting New Year’s goals HERE. I’ll continue this discussion with a brief introduction to the ONLY type of goal-setting system you will need for the year.
Stop setting S.M.A.R.T. goals! Set S.T.U.P.I.D. goals instead!
Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)
As all the intense, Type-A people know, with exhausting alacrity, S.M.A.R.T. Goals are an acronym standing for:Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic (Ha! What IS realistic anymore?1) and Time-Bound.
I’m exhausted just writing out all these terms! Whew! Thankfully, I have developed (“Patent” Pending) a new type of goal setting that is a LOT easier!
It’s called (of course) setting goals that are S.T.U.P.I.D.!
S.T.U.P.I.D. goals aren’t actually an acronym. But we put periods after each letter because it looks cooler that way, and also, no one pays attention to grammar rules anymore. No one younger than Grade 5 even knows what an acronym is, or ever will know, so we’re safe there with the younger crowd, for sure.
S.T.U.P.I.D. goals are (distantly) derived from Einstein (See how S.M.A.R.T. these goals REALLY Are?), who made a statement about simplicity that later became colloquially known as “Keep It Simple, Stupid”.
So, S.T.U.P.I.D. goals are SIMPLE goals.
You can apply S.T.U.P.I.D. goals to all areas of your life!
For now, let’s illustrate this goal-setting method by starting with Spiritual Goals. The best definition of spiritual maturity is2:
One who gets up quickly after they fall.
We’ll massage more of the striking truths from this statement in a later article, but essentially, the best way to grow in any area of life turns out to be is:
To not give up.
As proven HERE regarding Fall Fairs, or HERE concerning physical goals like going to the gym, it’s not being amazing that matters most, but that we keep showing up!
The same principle applies to the spiritual life.
Most people give up too soon in their search for God.
Is it annoying people who keep you away from your search for God? Read THIS if so, but keep going on your spiritual journey, friend!
Is God distant, just out of reach? Read THIS if so, but keep going on your spiritual journey, friend!
Do you think God is a mean dictator, and you’re running the other direction? Read THIS if so, but keep going, friend, on your spiritual journey!
He longs to walk WITH us on this journey we call life. He wants us to WANT to want to seek Him. Will you KEEP (The key is this word – Don’t give up!) seeking Him?
And maybe if you are lucky, you may even have some spiritual insights that you can share online, and then be a spiritual “expert”3 like me4 one day!
1 Oops! I got the “R” acronym wrong. Well, close enough!
2 My husband told me this. Isn’t he S.M.A.R.T.? He helps me remember that spiritual success is NOT about being better than others, for example, which I had forgotten (once)! Another time, we will discuss WHY this is the best definition of spiritual maturity.
4 Because I write about God online! Although I’m not sure why people laugh at the wrong times when they read my writing? It must be their spiritual immaturity. Sorry for being offensive.
To encourage you, I’m going to share another way I’m amazing!1
I have been (more or less) within the healthy weight range (basically – okay!) for my entire life, which has been no small feat.
However, when following my advice failed me for a while, and the pounds piled themselves on in a hurry (it happens!), I decided to switch it up and buy a nutrition app. I am constantly trying new approaches and programs and learning more about implementing healthy habits, which is the point of this article. But I’m not talking about that right now.
I’m talking about the notification that startled me.
Join people in over fifty countries who read this to gain valuable life wisdom! (Or maybe they’re just laughing at me? . . . Whatever!)
I was initially an undisputed failure at using this nutrition app.
Check this out. The photo below is an actual graph of my “progress” over several months, showing NO improvement in achieving my ideal weight. None.
There are normal fluctuations, but the graph of this line is flat.
Same, same, samers.
Despite hours (and hours!) of logging EVERY food item into the app, I STILL didn’t lose ANY weight!2
However, I continued with the program.
BY March, I was in the top 3% of users of this nutrition app I was using. The TOP 3%. And do you know WHY I was in the TOP (Let me repeat it) of users of this app?
Simply because I hadn’t given up yet.
And it wasn’t even that I DID anything extraordinary, which is the MOST amazing part!3 I eventually lost some weight using this app4, and I feel a lot better. And the program would have also benefited many other app users.
If only they kept trying.
And so, how do we increase in our journeys toward healthier habits?
For example, I immediately unsubscribed to the “encouragement” texts accompanying the health app because so many people complained in a way I could not comprehend.
“I only lost five pounds this month!” they would complain.
Five pounds! That sounded amazing! I was excited to celebrate with them, but they were already discouraged. I hadn’t lost any weight in several months, and I was proud of myself for continuing the laborious task (for my thumbs) of logging food items into my iPhone!
Then you don’t need to get discouraged! Oh! And remember how God ALREADY loves you?
That takes the pressure off, friend!
Why we even WANT to try to get healthier is another article, but we don’t have to please others or even ourselves because God, your community and maybe even your mom ALREADY love you!
And these three ways to grow in our healthy habits journeys are EXACTLY the same three ways that we grow in our spiritual journeys! But more on that next time. (Or soon!)5
(But don’t give up just before your breakthrough, friend.)
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credit – Can We Keep Getting On It Despite The Number It Tells Us? by i yunmai on Unsplash
1 As described HERE, online writers need to build their credibility and establish themselves as important and amazing, so that others will blindly follow their advice!
2 Yes, I was WAY OVER my “Recommended Eating Goals” in various categories, but it took me a while to find that part of the app!
Most people fail at the gym because they look down on the wrong people at the wrong time.
The proper way to be successful at the gym is to choose WHO EXACTLY to look down on, and WHEN. Let me explain. A new guy in our gym class worked out using too much weight and bad form.
I saw him nursing a sore bicep immediately following this exercise.
The reason why so many people pump too much weight at the beginning before they have strength or skill in lifting is because, of course, they don’t want others to look down on them.
But here’s the little twist of fate that makes all that sweat at the gym worthwhile after a few months:
If you can suffer through the humility of having others at the gym looking down on you for just a short season then . . .
You can be the one looking down on others VERY soon because you will have a strong physique, and someone new will show up at the gym, so you can (therefore, of course!) look down on the latest people in just a few months!
So the trick then, as mentioned in my opening sentence, is to:
CHOOSE CAREFULLY WHO EXACTLY YOU WANT TO LOOK DOWN ON AND WHEN.
However, MAYBE you’re one of those morally superior people who NEVER looks down on others or tells others that you think you are morally superior! Well GOOD for you! But since I’ve never met anyone like that, let’s keep discussing these points for the rest of us, “not-so-amazing ones”.
The first type of people you CAN make fun of are those who think they are SO amazing.1 See the preceding paragraph. That is a given in any circumstance and irrelevant to the topic of the gym, but is worth reminding each other of, anyway. You’re welcome! Who else can you feel superior to?
You can feel superior to people who DON’T go to the gym! “I went to the gym today,” you can drop, as a casual comment. That sentence is enough to garner respect from everyone you know! You MUST be, therefore: Accomplished!, Disciplined! Skilled! Try not to mention this in front of someone you ACTUALLY go to the gym with, lest they snicker when they remember you forgot to put the little stopper on the large barbell thing so the weight doesn’t fall off again or that you accidentally reached for your water bottle under the guy who was weightlifting, and he smacked the thing on your head (True story). Such details ruin the effects you are after.
Not only is it wise to CHOOSE SPECIFIC PEOPLE you are aiming to feel superior to, but it is also wise to choose WHEN you will feel superior them! For example, you can feel superior to MANY people even AT the gym once you’ve gone there for a while!
And then we’ve come full circle, and now YOU are the one making fun of the new people at the gym!
PS – As an aside, I know this may be surprising to you, but I recently read a book that has a chapter about humility in it, and in fact, on reflection, the definition below from this book fits in perfectly with this Newsletter:
Humility (Definition): “The simple and freeing . . . assessment of who God is and who I am. It is rooted in our belovedness and adoption of the Father, so we aren’t tricked into timidity or start feeing like a worm.”
So as another strategy, you could also get fit by going to the gym, working out, and not noticing or caring whether others are judging you or not, because you already found your self-esteem somewhere else!
However, this strategy seems impossible, so I don’t recommend the approach.
I went from being the biggest loser at the gym, doing exercises without ANY weights (Don’t judge me), to finding lighter weights than the lightest weights that they put out for the group class and using those.
“The ones who keep coming back are the ones who will get stronger!” I was told.
And I kept coming back.
Until one day, my instructor “had chills” when I did an exercise. This was because I did it with good form. Perhaps her chills were simply chills of relief that she didn’t have to spend five minutes out of every ten minutes re-showing me how to use the equipment in a class full of thirty other students so I wouldn’t hurt myself, her, or others nearby*, but they were chills nonetheless!
“She obviously truly cares about her students,” my husband commented, so he thinks she was surprised I did something right, too.
But I’m improving!
And the thing is that my friend didn’t want to come to the gym because she felt intimidated by all the people around her doing stuff right. That’s the dumbest reason not to go to the gym because EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM was once a big loser at the gym, throwing around weights and hurting themselves and others. (Well, maybe some caught on faster than me, but you catch my point!)
Anyway, we often hear people say it’s those who go the gym a lot who have the big egos, right? Like they are the ones who will laugh at us? Wait – maybe they will laugh at us, but if you read this post, you won’t care about that either!
The point is that you are getting stronger.
And that looking like a bit of a loser is not a bad thing!
It means you’re learning.
And similarly, the next time you pray to God, and then open one eye and wonder why the Archangel Gabriel isn’t standing next to you in your bedroom giving you life instructions, maybe take off your head and replace it with a new one. (Replace it with a head with correct thoughts while you’re at it, of course!)
Maybe we’re SUPPOSED to feel like losers when we are in the process of growing spiritually or physically.
For example, every time I woke up early when I was in a season of trying to learn to pray, I felt like I was playing hide and seek with Jesus. “I can’t find you!” I would call out after 1.28 seconds of concerted prayer. But He was there, often (metaphorically) hiding behind a small rosebush in my backyard. The rosebush that hadn’t blossomed yet. He was in plain sight because my rosebush only reached his knees, but He was bent at the waist, laughing.
I was learning that He loves it when we seek Him.
And so, maybe feeling like we’re losers is even good for us sometimes.
It is God’s privilege to conceal things and the king’s privilege to discover them.
And so all this jibber-jabber about people at the gym, for example, that they have huge egos?
Hogwash.
After all, Igo to the gym!
I do subscribe, however, to the philosophy that it is wiser to FLAUNT one’s ego, so maybe the having-a-big-ego thing doesn’t apply to me?
My gym did recently install this mat, however.
I wonder why?
It’s probably because there’s someone at the gym, someone else, who has a big ego.
Whatever.
Anyway, I hope you follow my advice by knowing now, with absolute confidence, because I told you so, that you, like me, are, of course, VERY humble, the opposite of those with a big ego.
I was pushing my shopping cart in the grocery store. I was in a hurry (Of course!) and pushing more on one side because the thing kept veering off to one side as I walked, trying to smash into every aisle. “I. Only. Have. To. Get. A. Few. More. Items,” I grunted begrudgingly, pushing hard with both hands on one side of the cart.
I don’t want you to go through life like this. I thought I sensed God whispering in my heart.
“Huh? What now?”
I hadn’t been praying or thinking of God, yet He gently nudged me, pushing on one side of my heart as I pushed on one side of the cart.
Let’s get that fixed, He seemed to encourage me gently. And I knew He was talking about my heart, not the shopping cart. Symbolically, I dropped off the old cart at customer service for repair and chose a new one.
I had been at counselling earlier that morning.
As I did my groceries, I was feeling broken by the depths we had plumbed and the neuroses we found way down deep there. Incorrect ways of thinking had been removed, like surgery on a mass of tree roots that were foundational to how I had always lived my life and symbolic of my thinking.
I felt a bit broken.
“Couldn’t I limp through life without the pain this counselling session had exposed?” I had wondered. And God didn’t answer me. But the question lingered in my heart as I shopped that day. Couldn’t I have pushed a bit harder (Yes, maybe on ONE side of the cart of my life at times) to get through?
Did I have to linger, allowing this brokenness to surface, which always seemed to be a precursor to healing?
Wasn’t it easier to push harder on one side of the cart of my life instead?
And God answered me when He perhaps compared me to a lopsided shopping cart that didn’t REALLY need to be fixed. (Did it?)
I drank my coffee and felt a bit more human, a bit more vulnerable, a bit more connected.
Maybe admitting we are broken and then having coffee with a friend is counterintuitively one of the ways that we can eventually learn to soar.
I was ready to bring my shopping cart in for realignment.
How about you?
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.
As the song above plays, and after a moment of thankfulness for the good things you notice around you as you read, consider asking God, “What broken areas of my life am I tolerating that You long to heal?” What do you sense He longs for you to take off, put down, or bring in for realignment, friend? Are you brave enough to put down the weights that hold us down so that you are finally light enough to learn to soar?
And as I drink my coffee and reflect, why bother to fix our shopping carts (and lives)?
Growth is the very definition of life. We all know people (NOT US (!) of course!) who stay stuck in unhealthy patterns (i.e. The cousin who still smacks you upside the head* when you disagree with him). Let’s be the very definition of life and be willing to set aside a few more of these deadly habits. Why not?
There are many opportunities for healing, including free ones. Why not?
It is easier to get the shopping done. Who couldn’t use a bit more time to sit poolside instead of yelling at (insert name) when we sometimes don’t even understand the real issues driving us?
People become reinforced in the paradigm that they are determined, and they produce evidence to support their belief. They feel increasingly victimized and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny.
Restoring Life 