Healing

How To Find Solutions To Global Crises: Ask And Pray – One Inspiring Example

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a large field of dead plants in the middle of the day

I suddenly realized I was not Little Red Riding Hood or whoever that hooded girl who carries her lunch to grandma is, stopping to smell flowers.

I’m the wolf.

I sometimes wear a Little Red Riding Hood cape because I want to go about my life, enjoy my kids, and laugh while we enjoy a day beside the lake. But more and more often now, I feel constrained like old caterpillar skin that needs to be shed. And I’m afraid of what may come out of me. It seems I am a caterpillar about to transition into a fire-breathing dragon.

And I don’t know what to do or where to put the fear and anger that has been stirring quietly under the surface for so many years that sooner or later, it’s bound to come out as an explosion.

I would sort of rather not do that.

I would rather be a butterfly fluttering about and minding my own business.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 

The Lord Of the Rings

And is there hope for these situations in the news and our lives that threaten to overwhelm us with darkness?

This is God’s Word on the subject: . . . I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

The Message

Yep.

I was so startled by a surprising story of hope at a prayer group meeting that I burst into tears unexpectedly.

There, we learned the remarkable true story of a group of people praying together over issues today that bothered them. One person recounted that in that prayer group, he felt God giving him an idea of how to help clean up plastic from the ocean. I know this way to get new ideas sounds far-fetched, but stay with me1 before you snap your laptop closed.

And then this guy from the prayer meeting went out with his company and built the thing that is another piece in the puzzle of our astonishing plastics problem.

And therein (listening to God and responding ) is our hope.

What global or personal problem threatens to suffocate you, friend?

For me, lately, it’s climate change. But the good news is that God holds a part of the solution for every difficulty we face. He offers different jewels, different parts of the solution to different ones who listen to him and obey his promptings.

Will we humble ourselves and ask him to help us clean up this mess we’re leaving on Earth?

If . . . my people, my God-defined people, respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I’ll be there ready for you . . . I’ll restore their land to health.

The Message

As the song below plays, can we sing together that we, too, together are “aching for the yield for you to harvest from this hurt?”

Photo Credit: Land Needing Restoration by Md. Hasanuzzaman Himel on Unsplash

Footnotes:

1 Chemist August Kekulé and Physicist Albert Einstein discovered the shape of the benzene ring, and theory of relativity, respectively, after insights gleaned from their dreams at night and many similar examples abound.

In a dream, for instance, a vision at night, when men and women are deep in sleep, fast asleep in their beds—God opens their ears

The Message

And to mess with your mind a bit more, the entire scientific process is only possible with a Christian understanding of the world that God values and is the TRUTH. Think about it. If EVOLUTION were to underlie the scientific process, TRUTH wouldn’t matter and couldn’t be trusted – Only things that helped propagate your genes could be relied upon accurately, not TRUTH. More on this another time.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

From Broken To Beautiful Friendship – Here’s How To Start

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
two people lying on a rock
Photo by Freysteinn G. Jonsson on Unsplash

She’s a good friend.

I met her doing something we both loved – a downhill ski trip at University. We became fast friends, singing loudly, goofing off, and obnoxiously yelling at those below as we rode the chairlift that weekend. In the evening, over hot chocolate and quiet talks, there were many similarities in the hurts we had experienced, the focus of our lives, and the path our futures were leading us toward.

three person holding beverage cups
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

It seems God had brought us together and blessed our friendship with a small piece of His love that we could offer each other.

And so the friendship grew.

And then came the bomb

It landed beside the little plant God was nurturing, our friendship. The blast ripped bits of the plant, and oh, the pain! The pain in God’s heart was unbearable, breaking His heart too.

And oh!

How God mourned! He mourned for the future leaves and blossoms and roots that this little plant hadn’t yet had time to grow. He mourned for the hungry people who would come to this little plant looking for the fruit it was to grow to satisfy their hunger pains.

boy in red and blue striped long sleeve shirt holding brown wooden chopping board
Photo by Angela Mulligan on Unsplash

He mourned that instead of refreshing juicy fruit that would strengthen them, they would find only a withered, dry plant – a few leaves and a twig.

black tree branch on snow-covered field
Photo by Przemyslaw Zientala on Unsplash

And oh, how the heart of God aches when friendships are spoiled!

We sat nearby, watching, startled at His suffering. Our hearts felt only indignation towards the other. And God tore his shirt, as the ancients did in a time of great mourning, His outer garment reflecting the state of His heart, broken.

Our sin was ripping the little plant apart, threatening its very survival.

Wounded!

“How can I show My love to this world,” He asks sorrowfully, “when My people don’t dwell together in unity? How can those hungry, sick souls taste love when you don’t give and receive it to and from each other?” He rocks back and forth in lament.

“How can My world be beautiful like a garden when the flowers of friendship and love among My people, a people called by My name, do not grow? How can others find their way to My heart by following a path of beauty if no beauty is found among my chosen flowers? How can you live without love?” He pleads

And so we, too, finally catching the Father’s heart in our own, rend our clothes and rock back and forth in the ancient posture of lament.

How have I allowed sin to hold back the growth in the relationships He has gifted me?

And so we run to our lost friend, like the Father of the prodigal son to his lost child.

When he was still a long way off, his father saw [his son]. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him.

The Message

We offer our hearts to our distant friend, like the cold elder brother finally offering love to his Father.

His father said, ‘Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours . . . ”

The Message

Together, we friends lift our hearts to God, broken and damaged. We come together, limping and wounded, from the damage we caused each other to our heavenly Father, and we ask for the oil of healing* for us and our friend.

And He is pleased.

The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life that is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.

Henry David Thoreau

And the plant now mending* and with roots twisting together in love, can face any storm. And the fruit is only a matter of time.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.

The Message

Footnotes

*Examples of God pouring oil of healing over us as individuals and as relational creatures are discussed here and in future posts.

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Finding God’s Unexpected Path To Healing Is Actually Easy?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
grayscale photography of girl lying near field
Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

She was a shell. She was skinny, sickly, and often lost in her little world.

Her stomach racked her in pain. Friends were elusive. She was unhappy, never having exploded in childhood giggles that should have been her right.

My husband and I oscillated between worry and confidence that she would grow out of “this.” One of us, either he or I, carried the ball of fear for this child. The ball never went away.

Occupational and physical therapists dribbled through our home – in and out – like a constant stream, reminding us that something wasn’t quite “right.” The ball of concern for our child, which we took turns carrying, grew heavier.

Doctors punctuated our lives.

An exclamation point with a specialist doctor in September. A question mark with that prominent city specialist who visited in April. The regular full stops of our home doctor, where “many” childhood milestones were missed, again, were a part of the regular background noise.

The cloud of “something” felt suffocating.

It was hard to breathe.

And doctors get so concerned nowadays. Our other daughter was told she “might” have a problem detectable only by modern medicine (pulmonary stenosis!), and yet that asymptomatic “problem” mysteriously resolved itself only a few years later.

“Would the same thing happen with this other daughter?” I wondered on the days when my husband carried our ball of worry.

And then it happened.

God’s voice was carried by the wind of the Spirit that day as I chatted with a friend about her struggling child.

“Try it.”

What now? I looked around, wondering if I had heard right. My heart sensed my Father’s love for me and my daughter as He spoke. Was I imagining things, though?

“Could you repeat that?” I asked

Nothing. Stillness. Quiet.

Had I heard correctly?

I had been learning that God speaks when we remember to attach our spiritual ears. I bent down to look for my spiritual ears which seemed to have fallen off again. Had He spoken?

At the moment that I wondered if God was nudging me, my good friend had been talking about a special diet – Yes, a special diet – that she was preparing for her son, who had developmental delays.

Diet?

But that’s not what the specialists EVER recommended!

But that was what was working for him. I felt God was asking me to try this same approach. Would I obey?

And so, how are we led on God’s specific, chosen path for our lives and families that usher in His healing?

  1. We pick up our spiritual ears and attach them to our heads. Oh! There are your spiritual ears lying next to you on the ground! Shall we learn how to use them?
  2. We do what God says.

That’s it.

And oh – our daughter was healed. But that’s a story for another time.

By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told. . . . As a result, Noah became intimate with God.

The Message

An additional fun result of following Jesus where He leads is buried within the quote above if our eyes are open – Intimacy with God! Wow.

As the song below plays, ask Holy Spirit, “What is the ONE NEXT step, or person you want me to ask advice from, regarding this problem in my life that is literally burning a hole in my gut?”

God:

  • Help us look for our ears, re-attach them so they stick, and pick them up again when they fall off.
  • May our hearts be strengthened by knowing how You delight in watching us take our baby steps toward You.
  • Help us to drink a bigger glass of the gift of Your love, which often carries healing for our bodies, minds and spirits.

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How To Be A Moth In Darkness Since God Is Light – 3 Hints

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

If we’re honest, we’re all lost and directionless in the snowstorm of life.

And we should be honest because truthfulness with ourselves and God about how lost and scared we often feel is like being a moth in the darkness and then finding a light source and being drawn together.

When we can no longer see because we’ve put blinders over our eyes again, we can sometimes hear God calling us softly through the gobs of earwax we forgot to clean out. (Sorry for the gross illustration, but one of my exceptional talents is producing immense quantities of earwax. This metaphor has an arresting punch for me).

Do you hear God calling?

This song was like a megaphone God used through another’s voice when I was too deaf again to hear him speak.

During my last winter season (spiritually speaking), God whispered in this song in a way that touched my heart, if not my ears in the following ways:

1. The sun shines on every patch of ground on earth. The following lyric was like a knife touching the hardened parts of my heart, the sections that God could not break through with the warmth of his breath because I had locked and sealed it off. God seemed to breath on this lyric, waking a deep part of my soul:

Melt the ice of this wild soul

2. Winter carries the promise of spring. This lyric would quicken my heart and bear the baby of faith:

If you’re not done working, God, I’m not done waiting

Have you been waiting for an exceptionally long time for the voice of God to whisper more clearly to you, too, friend? God might be digging around your soil, preparing to transplant you to a sunnier location, to a spot where you can feel the sun’s rays a little more easily before he breathes on your ears, restoring them. (He’s not done working).

3. Surrendering the throne of my life to its rightful owner, to God, instead of to the insecure, bossy child (me), is what releases life. The voluptuous blossoms in your life will look different than what you imagined.

Like a seed you [Jesus] were sown, for the sake of us all. From Bethlehem’s soil grew calvary’s sequoia

The full blossom of Jesus’ life was the cross, dying to set you free so your ears can be opened to the voice of God and you are free to soar.

Ready to pick up the gift He left for you, friend?

Ready, yet to be awakened?

How To Avoid A Midlife Crisis – 3 Drops of Preventative Medicine

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

So we decided to take surfing lessons in our summer holidays this year.

I had never tried surfing on the ocean before, but as you know, I tried surfing for the first time behind a surf boat on a lake this summer.

As I was putting on my wetsuit for my first ocean surfing lesson yesterday, I was surprised that our group consisted of about two dozen teenagers, with my husband and me. We have kids their age. There were three parents nearby.

“I’m glad at least there are a few parents,” I whispered to my husband.

He nodded appreciatively. The parents didn’t suit up. They were there to watch.

“Should we be concerned about that?” my huband and I asked each other silently.

I wasn’t quite sure of the wisdom of this whole surfing gig, even without the fact that this seemed to be a teen activity. As you know, I spent a month this fall in bed with a back problem. Was this really wise?

I felt God whisper to try, to do less of the lesson, but to give it a go.

Also, the pain specialist said that often, people get stuck and won’t do anything new after their injury. Their backs freeze up, and they get stuck in cycles of every-more-limited mobility.

I don’t want to be constrained by fear.

The surfing lesson was super fun! Except I did have to ask one of the teens to help me carry my surfboard down to the beach because it was too heavy for me, and I didn’t want to explain about having a sore back last fall lest one of them ask, “Lady, what the heck are you doing in a surf lesson then???” But apart from the minor hiccups, it was great fun!

My husband said we should continue to do this kind of stuff, meaning that we should push ourselves outside of the limits that we set for ourselves, i.e. as non-surfers. I agree with his philosophy. Before the trip, he said, “This will be a great trip because we have aspirin!”

But this got me thinking about midlife crises.

The teen instructor asked us, “What made you want to get into surfing?”

“Trying to avoid a midlife crisis?” I offered.

But there may be some truth in expanding our horizons a little bit and in allowing ourselves some room to grow to avoid a midlife crisis.

So here are some thoughts on avoiding a midlife crisis:

  1. Here’s a picture of me surfing. I didn’t stand up on the thing, but it can’t be that much harder to stand when you’re surfing, can it? And then it’s not much of a jump to imagine myself as a surfer person with a few more (billion) hours at the beach under my belt. Sometimes, stretching our identities and ideas of who we are takes a bit of a physical challenge.
  2. I think many of us get fat in middle age because we obsess about constantly seeking comfort. Our lives of comfort become boring. For example, do you ever notice yourself dreaming about lunch right after breakfast? Or thinking about your afternoon sugar snack right after lunch? This could signify that our lives need a little spicing up instead of our menus.
  3. If we’re open to adventure, God has something new, friend, and exciting for each one of us. If we open our spiritual eyes and are willing be honest, thirsty and surrendered.

Why be satisfied with our old identities and a boring turkey sandwich when God offers us His world to soar into, friend?

Ready yet for adventure?

Desperately Thirsty? No Hope? A 3-Minute Reset Brings Reliable Raindrops

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I was discouraged that day.

My head was in my hands as I slumped on my desk. That light on the horizon, the hope I was clinging to, in this case, “summer” for a homeschooling parent, seemed very distant. I reached out my hand but couldn’t touch this horizon today.

I got up, dressed and showered, a “skill” I had learned from previous years of homeschooling. I knew I needed to wear my best outfit and smile like I had a job outside the home. I knew I needed to greet my little students with love as they emerged from their bedrooms in their little onesies and messy hair.

But how do I give my children what I don’t have?

I fall on my face alone in my room.

Then I hold out my outstretched hand containing the seed of homeschooling He placed in my heart many years prior. I have carried the seed close to my heart. I have worked and tended this garden. These seeds (No! – Wait! These small plants!) have been watered by my sweat and hard work, ploughing in the sun and the rain. Will these small plants grow thick, strong roots downward? Will these roots find the hidden, underground springs that will sustain and nourish them?

That is my hope.

That is why this tired mother rises early again, gets dressed, puts on lipstick, and seeks hope in these pages that have fed her in the past. But what happens when we search these pages of the book but today there is no hope to be found? We have searched and turned the pages, but it is a dry season, a time of drought.

What then?

I set my three-minute timer, my little “vacation” getaway. I close and lock the door and lie down on my face alone in my room. I try to ignore any sounds outside my door, for those few minutes.

And do I pour out my heart and explain to God my life situation, knowing at a deeper level that He understands more than I do about my problem?

No.

I put on a worship song, fall on my face in my room, and praise Him for three minutes. Sometimes, the tears flow, sometimes, the anger comes, and sometimes, the drought feels too much to bear. But every time, after a couple of minutes of focusing on Him, the one who created the world, worship reminds me how big God is.

And by definition, I then remember how small I am.

And this is my hope.

When I stop shrinking God down to my size, the rains come. This drought today is over for now. Because He is so big, powerful and wise, He has multiple answers to my problems in His little pinky finger.

Will I trust him, remember His grandeur and pick up the hope that came with this rain of his presence? Will I take a drink? Will I stand in the rain? I’ll be cleansed, if so, my face uplifted to the One who is the source of living water, the God who, by touching the hem of His robe, can make us well.

And I don’t understand it, but I can trust the rain and hope I found today. And this rain becomes living water in my heart so that I can pour out hope on my children today and face whatever dangers, tigers, or math come our way.

And when we stop at the end of the day, decade, or season of life and put up our feet, we can thank Jesus for giving us the strength and hope to keep going.

. . . I provided water in the desert. . . Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom made to praise me

The Message

Hey Hoser! Know How To Avoid These 5 Disastrous Mistakes Before Getting Drunk (On God)!

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If you’re wondering why I just called you a “Hoser,” read this post, which begins this discussion.

Now that we’re best friends because of the deep connection formed in the last blogpost, let’s talk about getting hosed. “Getting hosed” is a Canadian slang for “being drunk.”

Getting hosed on alcohol is overrated. Think about the mess of your vomit, which is what happened to me the one time I got drunk 32 years ago. Ew! Plus, there are all the other messes that the actions of getting drunk bring into our lives. No thanks!

Getting drunk on God is much cleaner. For some reason, the messes of our lives that we are currently standing on as we get drunk on God often seem to disappear. Plus the joy!

And so, how do we get drunk on God?

To discuss this, I am dipping my toe across the very well-defined line between the things of people and the things of God.

Now I know that I can be a bit irreverent. I know I have even laughed at myself once, and even in public (!) and on this blog! If I’m honest, I’ve laughed at you several times too, when you weren’t looking.

But today, I feel we are standing on holy ground, on something reverential, and vital that is imperative to understand. Joking doesn’t fit.

Seriously. This topic is so, so essential and has derailed so very many spiritual journeys.

Don’t let these five common mistakes derail your walk with God.

Related to the last post, five common mistakes associated with a felt experience of God, also sometimes called being drunk in the Spirit are:

(1) Being drunk by the Spirit doesn’t mean we are more mature than others who haven’t had this experience. Probably (my inference), it means we are less mature. Maybe we needed this experience to follow God more fully. Others, more mature than me, follow God wholeheartedly without this experience, perhaps. The goal is to recognize, as much as we are able, how much God loves us. If we’re doing this and following God and getting back up again quickly after we fall, then THAT is the definition of spiritual maturity.

(2) It’s imperative we understand how getting drunk on God is NOT like getting drunk on alcohol – We’re not in control of whether or not this experience happens to us. God is. Period. Full stop. For example, we can point you down the road to the Wizard Of Oz, but your experience with him or the shoes is between you and the magic. Remember Point #1.

(3) We seek God, NOT an experience OF God. If experiences are what we’re seeking, we’re a ship off course. All we need is God and the fullest understanding of His love for us on this side of the grass they’ll put our bodies in when our hearts stop. Experiences don’t matter. God matters. Our path is to pursue Him, not the experiences of Him.

(4) We don’t need to wait for God to DO anything TO us or FOR us before we can begin our journey towards Him. He’s already given up His life, so you’ll notice Him. He’s been standing at your door and knocking your entire life. Got time to open the door?

(5) Many of you have had profound spiritual experiences that you can’t nicely fit into your existing categories of understanding. These experiences are one of the ways Jesus wakes His beloved, His Sleeping Beauty. Don’t ignore the spiritual experiences you’ve seen in others or have had yourself, friend. Instead, let’s commit to noticing the clues, praying and seeking advice.

Ready, yet to wake up?

Join us, friend, for the adventure of a lifetime!

(I’m ready to finally get out of these pyjamas and into the clothes God purchased for me, too.)

Confused About Life? Have You Tried Advice From This Person?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

When we don’t fit in with the crowd’s way of living life

who can offer relevant advice for the unique challenge we encounter?

When the promises on bolded signs aren’t as enticing as anticipated

who is the one who will deliver more than expected?

When life is confusing

who do we turn to?

Wouldn’t it be amazing if someone we trust could suddenly appear in each of these circumstances, offer us their hand and point us to the best path?

Wouldn’t it be outstanding if that person never tired or gave up on us but offered grace and strength and sometimes even rubbed our aching feet as we rested?

What if this person offered us a cold drink, a healthy snack and a plan to follow?

Wouldn’t it be wondrous if this person was always by our side, could be leaned on when we lacked strength and helped to calm the chaos in our lives?

Any of us would give the world to find someone like this.

The substitute people that we esteem so highly instead, including movie stars, sports heroes, self-help experts and billionaires, eventually fall off their pedestals, and we trample them in our disappointment.

But wait . . .

Before we choose another human we highly esteem to take their place (someone with eventual skeletons in their closet, too), let’s pause and reassess . . . for just a moment.

Is there anyone who can be trusted, admired and in some ways, even followed?

Yep. There is. The grand unveiling reveals

the person your soul most longs to meet

He’s here entwined within the pages of this best-selling book.

Have time for a read?

Spiritually Asleep Again? How To Wake Up And See

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I woke up one morning and realized with a start that I was also alive spiritually. I poked myself to be sure I was awake. I was the same on the outside.

What had caused this inner transformation?

My circumstances were the same. I lived in the exact physical location as many years ago. But undoubtedly, something had shifted recently.

Like all births, the growth had begun unnoticed in the hidden places long before.

My story of waking up is a long story of twisting paths, walking in circles, and many falls.

Just like your spiritual story.

And I’m still walking.

(You? That’s good. Very good.)

This morning, my rear felt particularly sore from all the falls recently. Jesus held his hand to me again today, offering to help me get up.

I’ll start there.

I woke this morning in a cyclical funk created by my discouragement. I was spiralling down, ready to flush the new thing God had been stirring in my heart down the toilet of my despair again. Then I heard a quiet thought encouraging me.

You are in the fight of your life.

(Would I jump into the battle or claim immediate defeat, like usual, keeping my soul asleep?)

I was in a fight for God’s whisperings to be brought forth like a new babe into the world. But I had to surrender my half-eaten lunch. Would I obey?

God had been whispering, waking, urging my soul towards the new life he wanted to see sprouting in my heart.

Would I throw away my hope that God can grow something beautiful through the dry depleted soil of my life again today?

Would my discouragement win?

The question is not how big is our faith. The question is, how big is our God? I shrunk God, again, into my image.

And so I was asleep.

I awoke when reminded in a time of prayer this morning of this truth:

The impossible thing He whisperers that he wants to bring forth in our lives is easy for Him.

How exactly this discouragement transformed into hope is a story for another time.

But for now, suffice it to say that I was reminded that God made an amaryllis bloom after twenty years or more of bareness.

And He made a lilac bloom after ten years or more of barrenness.

And so He can make our lives bloom after seasons of bareness, too.

We begin to wake spiritually every day by opening our spiritual eyes.

Here’s how:

  1. We fix our spiritual eyes on God, the master gardener of hope, instead of keeping our eyes closed by focusing on our bareness.
  2. We open our eyes to the fact that harvest will come for every field, including that unwatered corner of our hearts if we allow the Master Gardener to work His ways within.
  3. We wait, not passively, but prayerfully, with anticipation, like a farmer planting seed in fertile soil.

This subtle shift in my thinking helped me soar on the wind of hope I found this morning. I picked up the hope. I carried it next to my heart.

For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.

Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed.

They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.

The Message

God is standing next to us with seeds, a shovel and a watering can. He wants to dig deep, exposing old roots to create room for new growth. I want to get out of the way to allow Him to do his work.

You?

While waiting for life to sprout, consider praying along to this song.

This song begins like the prayer of a person who doesn’t honestly believe what they’re praying (like many of many prayers over the years):

You make beautiful things out of the dust.

The song ends in a loud declaration of the exact words, daring the soul to believe.

Time for a battle for you, too, as you pray along to this song?

What is He saying to you through the pages of His book, asking you to have faith to believe?

May your eyes be opened, your soul awake.

The Secret To Easily Swap Embarrassment For Healthy Relationships

/ Lori Lawe / 1 Comment

When we were five years old, we thought everyone was laughing AT us until we suddenly realized they were laughing WITH us.

Remember that?

Well, that happened to me recently. I’m unsure which side of the laughing AT me/ laughing WITH me continuum I ended up on. But at least my rear end isn’t THAT sore from the fall.

This story starts, like all good narratives, with dog barf.

So after the dog… ahem… expelled his undesirable digestive remains (well said?) . . . we looked around at each other, wondering what to do next. We were enjoying heartfelt gut-level sharing. I guess the dog wanted to join in in his own way.

We only had a few minutes left together and desperately needed time to pray together, to invite God into the messes of our lives that had been unearthed.

Thinking that we won’t have time to pray, I fetched paper towels to clean up the mess the dog had unearthed. Someone pleaded with me to stay. “Let’s pray together while we have time,” he said.

At another’s brilliant suggestion, I quickly covered the dog’s mess with paper towels, and we stood in a circle, sharing hearts, tears and compassion.

“Don’t step in the dog barf on your way out!” I called cheerfully.

They genuinely thanked me for the reminder, side-stepped the soaked paper towels, and left with a wave and a smile.

Years later, our dear friends complimented us about that meeting.

“Recently, we were learning about the levels of friendship,” they explained. “There are friends that you dress up for. You wear a corset under your sparkling dress to ensure you look as good as possible. You enjoy an evening with them and then put your feet up. Your stomach fat and your real selves come out later.”

Who needs another “See how great I look when I suck in my stomach” kind of friend?

“Then,” she continued, “you have the friends who invite you onto their couch when you are crying and simply move the laundry hamper to the floor so there is room for you to sit down. These are true friends.“

I teared up at her warm assessment of our friendship.

I was about to hug her, but she was still speaking.

“And you guys took it to a whole new level. We come over, and you just suggest walking around the dog barf”. The others in the room stared at us, mouths agape, not wanting to ask for elaboration. I didn’t blame them.

But yes, a compliment . . . right???

And so the secret to a healthy relationship? Get real. We get real because we want to be authentic.

1. Authentic in how we REALLY look. For example, we don’t use the “Make me look better than in real life” filters on our Zoom meetings. (Have you SEEN that function? It’s AMAZING! I WANT to turn that filter off but wow! Do I EVER look better!) Give me a break! We are all a work in progress, ok?!

2. Authentic in how we REALLY feel. For example, maybe we ask our friends to clean up the dog barf later. What we just unearthed emotionally or spiritually is a lot viler and should take precedence.

3. Authentic in our RESPONSE to our friends. We are humans clothed in the limits of time. We can clean up the dog’s barf or clean up you. Which do you prefer?

So, let’s get real.

And if that sometimes means standing around dog barf, so be it.

As a dog eats its own vomit, so fools recycle silliness.

The Message

This saying doesn’t quite fit this post, but it perfectly fits in another, less profound way. Let’s go with a partial fit today and move on. There is someone at my door ready for a cry.

Lord, teach us to order our values to reflect your heart more accurately. After a moment of stillness, consider asking God where your life may not be aligned with the upside-down priorities of the kingdom of God. Maybe He is asking you to stand around the dog barf, too!