Kid Moved Out? So What? (3 Keys That Will Make Your Life Transition Successful)

a woman sitting in the middle of a movie theater

In the last Newsletter, I said I would offer advice for how to transition gracefully to life’s next season.

I forgot actually to say something that would help you in that Newsletter. Hey, I never promised I would say something useful! I purposefully crafted the fine print in the Terms and Conditions of this site to avoid high expectations. Wow! People expect so much nowadays!

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The Guaranteed Perspective Of The Mind That Will Make You Transition Well To Your Next Season

person crossing net bridge

I wrote something sappy about kids growing up last time, and another time about sending our first kid off to college.

If you haven’t read those Newsletters yet, I’ll summarize them for you: Whiny, whiny, boo-hoo, cry, send our kid away… boring, boring. But this is the thing that really bothers me, as I think about it a bit more.

It’s unfair that we are expected to send our kids away just when they become helpful!

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Come Homeschool! The Fruit Of Love In The Heart Is A Powerful Gift Of Fall

apple fruit on trees

I felt joy rise in my heart that day as I took another bite of an apple at the fall picnic.

I lay on the blanket, watching my children frolicking in the water nearby and delighted in another bite of the fall fruit someone had picked from the apple tree above us.

And I offer the fruit of my labor to them, to the world, as I watch my Homeschooled children help the younger ones pull themselves up on the log in the water.

These are kind people, our children.

And as their sibling bickers reach me even here, far away, I am reminded that though they are still annoying, as all of us humans are, still, the fruit from this fall season, of a season of Homeschooling has been good.

I delight in this.

We had to live with these humans, so we were forced to prune the trees and apply fertilizer even though it stung them sometimes.

We couldn’t turn aside and try to forget unbecoming behavior in our children because the school bus was coming soon. We saw them again at lunch, and then they were still there right after lunch, an hour later, and into the evening. This behavior has GOT to be dealt with. This rot in the heart has GOT to be addressed, we would finally admit.

Love drove us out of hiding.

“Show us how You see each child,” we would beg our God in prayer, longing for His picture of them, which was the sun and rain they needed to flourish.

One child was like a strong tree that would grow a thick branch in just a moment, but it grew directly into another sibling’s eye, or into my face – Ouch! Jesus would offer us a saw. Prune the tree, He would remind us.

And so, we did.

And then God pruned my tree, too.

A lot of sweat has gone into the farming of my fall crop. We had many seasons of scraping and tilling hard earth under the hot sun. We didn’t make a lot of progress. But sometimes we would delight to find a small patch of rich, dark soil, and we would quickly plant something there in their hearts before they noticed. And some of these offerings took root, though many plants languished or had to be replanted.

But the gardens of their hearts were tended as God tended my heart simultaneously, teaching me to love.

And God quickly planted something, a small plant in a tiny patch of rich soil that He found in my heart one day, soil among a seemingly endless expanse of hard, clay-baked earth. He planted it that day when I wasn’t looking. Homeschool, he bid my heart before this schooling adventure began.

And the tears came whenever Homeschooling was mentioned for reasons I couldn’t articulate, watering the soil around my heart a bit more with the sacrifice of this massive gardening project.

But it was worth it.

And as another graying hair testifies to a beginning fall season of my life, I remember the fruit in my heart that was not there before this gardening adventure, and I am thankful that God had been tilling my soul all along, too.

And so, I took another bite of that apple, feeling happy.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.

The Message

Is God calling and beckoning you toward Homeschooling, friend?

Or to another adventure, perhaps?

Get going, friend! Start now! The fruit of following Jesus on an adventure is worth all the hard labor of past seasons.

And may you savor many fall apples, explosive in flavor, as God scrapes off the edges of each other, not unlike iron sharpening iron, as love pours from God’s heart through us, through our kids, and then to the world.

And I took another bite of that fall apple.

And I felt love swell in my heart with each bite, love that came with this harvest.


Photo Credit – Apples Ready For Harvest by Timotheus Fröbel on Unsplash

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How To NOT Flush Yourself Down The Toilet!

a black and white photo of a bird flying in the sky

So I was a bird, soaring in the clear blue sky, when someone down far below aimed their shotgun towards me (or towards something close to me?) and fired. I fell like a lead weight to the ground and landed with a painful “thud”. When I carefully examined myself, I couldn’t find a gunshot wound.

The shot must have just grazed my ear (Wait – Do birds have ears – WHATEVER!).

The point is that I was down on the ground again, walking on two feet, eyes looking as down as my soul.

Even when we beat the odds and finally learn to fly, we can sink back to earth so quickly, don’t you find?

But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

The Message

“What the heck is she going on about now?” you ask each other, popcorn in hand and trying to find the “Rewind” button on the video of this Newsletter. I will explain. I will now put on my (almost) Psychotherapist hat and enlighten you on another great truth that will help you soar through life1.

a man and woman looking at each other

THE POINT:

When our thoughts tear us down, my friend from England calls this “Going down the tube.” For them, a Tube can mean “Toilet!” As in, the “overflow tube” on a toilet where stuff goes when it is flushed! My friend talks about how our thoughts can make us circle the drain, which eventually has approximately the same effect as flushing ourselves down the toilet. Haha! A vivid picture, but something we all do very often, if we’re honest.

For me, (hypothetically speaking, of course) it looked something like this yesterday:

When you are spiraling, remembering in vivid detail the time the mean girl laughed at you in Grade 4, followed by the time you were rejected by THE boy of the century (What was his name again?) in Grade 7, and this was all instigated by the checkout clerk at the grocery store who forgot to glance at you today as she said, “Have a nice day,” your self-esteem (of course) suddenly plummets like that bird in the sky.

So do this, friend:

(1)   Ask God something

(2)   Ask God something else

Above is the framework.

Below is specifically what you ask:

(1)   What is a picture, God, of what is NOT true?

(2)   What is a picture, God, of what IS true?

We quiet our hearts and minds, bring our tangled emotions to God, and ask Him for His perspective.

For example, I did this exact exercise yesterday when I had the VERY RARE occasion of feeling a bit nuts, though I had no idea why, and EVEN MY HAIR was combed that day, so that I couldn’t have been plummeting because of that.

I had a picture of me trying to grasp something just out of reach, something on the top shelf that I wasn’t tall enough to grab, but that I REALLY wanted.

This picture represented the lie I believed, and I immediately remembered something I wanted that didn’t seem like God would give to me.

Then I asked God, “What is the truth?” of this situation, and I saw a picture in my mind’s eye as I sat in prayer of God reaching down from Heaven to pull something off the top shelf – not exactly what I wanted, but something nearby, something smaller, and handing it to me. I enjoyed this item immensely, like a child enjoying a giant lollipop that was precisely the right size to satisfy her sweet tooth and no bigger.

white and red lollipop on blue background

Then I saw that the thing I REALLY wanted was so heavy for my puny arms that even if God did give it to me, I would drop it on my foot and it would crush my toes.

The thing I REALLY wanted wasn’t best for me. Like the things kids sometimes REALLY want, such as a 50-kilogram cake that will only make them sick if they get it. Good parents KNOW what is BEST for their kids, what will satisfy even the desires within them that aren’t fully developed yet (Like for a hunk of broccoli with that cheeseburger now and then).

Could I trust Him?

And then I was soaring again, and not even the fear of missing out or being shot out of the sky by my neuroses could stop me from soaring on the wind!

Try it!

Why not ask God what keeps you in “Nuts” instead of “Joy”?

As the song below sings, “You know what I need”, reflect on this awhile, and then consider asking God, “What is a picture of something that I am struggling with in my life that is NOT the truth?” And “Can You show me your perspective, the truth, about this situation?”

And I hope you can stay soaring in the sky a bit longer next time, friend!

“Who will give me wings,” I ask – “wings like a dove?” Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet.

The Message

Or, at least, I hope you become a bit less nuts!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!


Photo Credits – Bird Soaring (?) Falling (?) – You Decide! by viswaprem anbarasapandian on Unsplash, Giving Advice To Help Another! by Fotos on Unsplash (I am symbolically on the RIGHT in this photo – Which reminds me: I also give helpful marriage advice, such as the FREE advice found HERE and HERE!)

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1 I learned a helpful tip about this lately, from Mark Virkler and shout out to him, who ACTUALLY has useful stuff to say on HIS website (Show-off!)!

How Not To Be A Jerk When You Homeschool AND How To Have An Awesome Year!

woman in black crew neck shirt

I have already written my best advice on this topic HERE, where I clearly explain that the way to sidestep being a complete JERK is to PRETEND to be someone you’re not.

Today, we continue the same theme with more helpful advice on how to NOT be a jerk when you Homeschool.

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I learned many of these lessons from my (failed) efforts to train my dog, and let’s face it, we all know that the lessons we learn from shepherding our pets can be directly applied without any variation at all to lessons about God and parenting.

I was running behind my dog, yelling STOP again as the door opened and a visitor stared wide-eyed as our tiny goldendoodle pounced toward him, intent on humping his leg (again). I chased the dog around the yard hollering at him to behave while our visitor watched, which is the usual routine whenever someone knocks on our door. I finally catch the dog and then explain that our dog had a bad night’s sleep, or an upset stomach, so that’s why he didn’t obey today, AS HE USUALLY DOES, OF COURSE.

So yeah, dog training is EXACTLY like parenting.

Which gently directs this conversation very naturally into parenting advice.

So, how do we not long to give up altogether on this Homeschooling adventure and toss them into public school and hope for the best, even though it may only be our first month or day of Homeschooling?

An excellent question, and that is the topic of today’s newsletter.

Here are my top three recommendations (with four more recommendations in the following newsletter) containing my best advice on how to have a fantastic time Homeschooling:

  1. Try to be someone else. See HERE or the first few paragraphs of this newsletter. (Note to my editor: Yes! I could edit this newsletter so that all of my advice is in one list, but editing is boring, and I have my Duo-lingo streak to maintain, in addition to this writing! I’m busy!)
  2. Have VERY low expectations. Most people have problems with Homeschooling simply because their expectations are too high. Looking to have a GREAT year (or even day) Homeschooling? We experienced Homeschooling ones are laughing our guts out, and the reason why is explained HERE. When your kids cry a bit, grab yourself a martini and read a magazine for a while until that passes! It’s just another Homeschooling day, friends!
  3. Keep the big picture in mind – This is why you have a manifesto. Then you can remember that playing Snakes and Ladders IS your top priority! (See the last bullet in Point #3 of THIS MANIFESTO for an explanation). She is your best friend, so squeeze moments of joy out of every moment someone isn’t crying, friend!

Join us next time for four more tips on having the best Homeschooling year you can (which means not a perfect year or that every day is fantastic, but we got through it, friends, and that’s what matters most!) Oh! I almost forgot the following quote!

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. . . So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the . . . help.

The Message

So enjoy your transformation because you’ll find that many of your sharp edges fall off as you Homeschool because you will have to return to God on your knees, asking for help every day. (Do that too! It helps!)

A butterfly is flying over a piece of wood

You’re welcome!

Good luck!


Photo Credit – Mom Not Having The Best Day by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash, Butterfly by Lin Qiu Yi Wan on Unsplash

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Swap Crazy For Peace – Our Simple Homeschooling Manifesto To Keep On The Best Life Path

When It’s All Boiled Down, It’s Simple – Have Fun, Think, Love, Be Immature

round gray framed compass on brown map

Lawe Homeschooling Manifesto

1. To Enjoy – We want to have fun with and enjoy our children while we have them at home.

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You Need To Toss One Attitude To Hear Remarkable, Surprising Spiritual Things

What happened that day astonished me, opened my eyes and heart to the possibility of a God in the universe, one with a heart of love, who stretches out His hand sometimes to protect me when needed.

That is precisely what happened that day over three decades ago.

At that time, I wasn’t sure what I thought about God, wondering if God was the ruler of one particular religion – and which religion, if so? Mostly, though, I didn’t think too much about God at all until that day. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about God.

That event opened a curtain into the window of the possibility of a spiritual dimension that I could enter through, if I wanted.

Whenever, though, they turn to face God . . . God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence

The Message

I walked past the veil, and since that day, I have never looked back, continuing my journey to know more and learn more about a God who stretches down His hand to give us a warm embrace.

And this is how He did it that day.

Except….

Insert that terrible sound when movies play in reverse, and we rewind the scene to an earlier part of the show.

I was seventeen when “it” happened, which ushered me into a thirsty quest for spiritual things.

I was quiet immediately after this event, not talking about the event with anyone but one person.

Why not? That is the subject of today’s newsletter. Why don’t you hear about the spiritual events in other people’s lives?

The clues are all around you, but you are blind to them, stepping on jewel after purple jewel, because no one shone them up for you, and they are so covered in the dust of life that they blend in with the dirt-colored stones around them.

No one told you their spiritual stories.

Why not?

You wouldn’t have believed them anyway.

This fact brings me to THE POINT of today’s newsletter: You have to believe to see.

Jesus looked her in the eye. “Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

The Message

To even HEAR about the POSSIBILITY of spiritual things occurring in other people’s lives, you need to tune your ears to the radio frequency of the POSSIBILITY of God entering our world, both as a babe 2000+ years ago and as Holy Spirit whispering even now.

Do you believe?

Believe so that you may understand

Philosopher Augustine of Hippo, circa 400 A.D.

Good.

Then you can hear.

So, I will tell you my story next time.


Photo Credit – The Exchange by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

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Want To Become Less Nuts Now? (Non-)Expert Psychotherapy For Free!

Last time, I told you everything I know about Psychotherapy. Here are five steps to summarize the previous post on fighting overwhelm based on my experience with Psychotherapy. (With any luck, these steps will also help us to become a little less nuts – The point of this post).

1. We slow down.

2. We quiet ourselves.

3. We come as we are, bringing our scattered emotions and lifting our situations to God.

4. We wait.

5. We listen.

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