To encourage you (Well, it MAY have been to encourage the unfillable void of my ego needs, but who’s counting?) I wrote two posts about Mother’s Day HERE and HERE!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Kyah: “You are the best Mom.” Me: “Well thank you, Kyah, but I don’t think that’s true.” Kyah: “No one is perfect but you are the best Mom for me.”
And so we may not be perfect, but we are the best people God put in our lives for each other. I know that’s true with your family and friends, too! In this same spirit, know that despite the shortcomings that all of us (even me!) have, YOU are exactly the VERY BEST parent for the children God entrusted you to guide.
And to those of us who are waiting for a child, and this gift from God has not arrived yet, we send you our love and pray you are as blessed with your waiting or adoption journey as we have been.
As you listen to the song below, consider pouring out your heart to God concerning your children, the ones He has already placed in your arms and the ones you are hoping He will put in your arms.
Our examples, even with (mainly because of) our many falls, free our children.
God, we pray each one of us would have the courage to take the next step on our journeys following You, we pray. Holy Spirit, would you comfort and help us when we fall? Jesus, we pray that we rest in our identities as EXACTLY the right people that our children need, as we follow You, we pray.
The eagle is a woman who has mentored me. In other versions of herself, she is also known as the bedraggled stranger in a well-worn, dusty cloak, who pulls those who are drowning from the depths of their unbelief as it wraps tighter around their necks, strangling them.
But in the spiritual realm, with the eyes of God, she is an eagle.
I was sipping a drink, my shoulders draped with a blanket. I can’t QUITE bring myself to stay inside as much anymore, as the days are getting a bit warmer, reminding me with the warming breeze that the school days are ending soon.
I pondered the successes and challenges of the past homeschooling year, hoping that the total number of wins outscored the total number of defeats.
Of course, we all expect our teen children to hate us, be embarrassed around us, talk down about us to their friends, and find every way they can to show that they are rebelling against everything we stand for as the authority figures in their lives.
We wag our fingers at them and say, “YOU SHOULD do this or that!” even though we didn’t do this or that when we were their age, and getting up off the couch to talk to our kids is hard for us sometimes because our snacks and our devices call us to do more important things.
What if there is a different reality to parenting?
Even if we’ve rolled up our sleeves over the last nearly two decades and gotten “Good Parent Points” on our clipboards for throwing balls with our kids, giving them birthday parties, and teaching them to drive, what if even then, deep down, we still expect our teens to be embarrassed around us, spend as little time with us as possible and talk disrespectfully about us behind our backs until they are finally “Free.”
What if the expectations we have of our teens are too small?
“[The scientist] makes several important observations about the powerful effect of culture [on teens] . . . [He] points to a study . . . looking at adolescent behaviour in 186 pre-industrialized societies. The research did NOT find lots of classic impulsive, obnoxious, get me away from my parent’s teenage behaviour in ALL of them. In fact, they found the opposite. More than half the young males exhibited no rebellious behaviour at all. Teens in these cultures spent most of their time hanging around their parents. They often helped with the chores both in family and in broader social activities”.
We saw an example of this kind of teen culture in reality at the homeschooling conference we recently attended.
It was a culture shock because not all the teens were jerks!
Consider the following:
(1) At the homeschooling family barn dance (Can I stop there?) . . .
(2) In which parents and all ages of family members, including teens, danced in the same big hall (Can I stop there?) . . .
(3) Often a very young child would join in the fray. Partners switched every few seconds sometimes, in a (deliberately) Jane Austen style. EVERY SINGLE TEENAGE BOY that I saw whose turn it was to dance with the 3-year-old, hunched down, smiled and spun the little girl in time to the music. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
Watching teen after teen do this was so sweet – It made me tear up.
(4) These are not the teens skulking in corners, hoping for a chance to get outside and smoke more pot.
Entering this homeschooling culture, even through reading this newsletter, may be enough to destroy culturally low expectations of today’s teens.
So friend, now that you feel empowered to refuse low expectations of your teens, I recommend you go home, yell at your kids, throw some stuff around the house and make your point VERY clear that now you KNOW they don’t HAVE to be jerks anymore!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
After that advice, consider asking God how you may need to throw out the way that you see that child and see them instead through the glasses that God gives you, the way He sees that child.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
1This book by John Medina is over 10 years old, but “New” is a relative term, and let’s admit that we all have forgotten half the stuff we need to know to do well in life, anyway! Related, consider the following quote:
If you want a new idea, read an old book.
Ivan Pavlov
This quote proves that you have no idea what you are doing, either, as you parent your kids, and any information, whether new OR old, will help you!
Last night, I was up at three AM because our dog had his semiregular hair elastic emergency poo in which he eats a hair elastic and has trouble with the elimination thereof.
Surprisingly, my auto dictate function accidentally captured my monologue directed toward my dog, Siri, the last time this happened. “Are you kidding me? Okay, okay, okay! Let me help you, Siri! Just a minute! Stay, stay, stay, stay, STAY!”
However, he was able to get everything out all by himself last night!
I didn’t even need to reach down and pull it out like I usually do!
This morning, as I type this, I have just returned from a lovely spring walk with my dog, Siri, and my teen daughter. After enjoying the sweet spring air, part of this beautiful ritual includes finding an old stick nearby to “hockey puck,” our dog’s you-know-what off the middle of the road, the location our dog knew would be the perfect spot to place it.
To tie these miscellaneous thoughts together, I must admit to feeling astonished at how much time I had spent at the rear end of my dog the last time my dog was unwell (in his rear-end parts, of course)!
I wonder why people don’t tell pet owners this ahead of time?
Maybe it’s the same reason why they didn’t tell me it would be so much work to raise my kids. Because we would watch TV and eat junk food for eighteen years instead, the lifespan of dogs or the approximate time kids are in our home if we knew the truth!
Anyway, at least kids sometimes turn out useful!
Our kids may even help drive us to a Doctor’s appointment when we age! They will choose our old folks’ home! (My dad often reminded himself of this under his breath when he was furious at me, which helped him have increased patience with me!)
But are dogs EVER useful?
Why do we love dogs, given they aren’t even helpful? (Note: I’m not sure why my editor fought me SO much over that sentence! We all know that the only reason to “love” another is that we hope to get something in return eventually! Hello?)
Anyway, why do we love our DOGS? Because of the healing that occurs in our soul, of course!
For example:
Dogs model how to forgive. Remember when I accidentally slammed your tail in the car door, Little Buddy? After your squeal, you immediately licked me to let me know you knew everything was okay between us. Thank you!
Dogs comfort us. Remember when you hid behind me, Little Buddy when that scary dark shape approached as we walked that night? Wait -That analogy doesn’t quite measure up. Scratch that! Sometimes, I have the ILLUSION of being comforted because of a dog’s big, scary teeth, which he COULD use (instead of asking for a pet when a stranger entered our home, which is what he actually did). FEELING LIKE you are comforted is ALMOST the same thing as ACTUALLY BEING comforted, anyway!
A dog’s love fits nicely inside the dark hole each of our souls carries- the part that screams for love!
If you want to make sure of keeping [your heart] intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal . . . To love is to be vulnerable.
God’s love fits perfectly inside that dark emptiness within us, too! And His love is a (much) healthier alternative to heroin, booze, sugar and other “regular” vices we otherwise need to get through life!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
As the song below plays, consider asking God to pour out His love on you in a tangible way that you can pick up, treasure, and carry close to your heart.
The Bible story pictures often portray Jesus sitting on the grass, Buddha style, with some children frolicking nearby, spewing truths that people fell over trying to catch.
Which would be true.
But Jesus also got angry.
Anger fueled by the love that erupts within our souls like a volcano sometimes contains the seeds that can eventually heal culture.
In his effort to build up my fragile self-esteem, my husband reminded me lately that people from twenty-eight countries have read my online writing, which is still shocking to me!
Riding on the heels of this life success – And of course, now I can finally rest assured that my life has purpose and meaning – is that several people have been asking me lately if I’m thinking of writing a book!
Of course, I have been thinking of writing a book, but the trouble is that I can’t figure out what topic I should write about! Sure, I could write up those embarrassing stories about me that make people laugh when we have dinner together, but those stories make me look stupid! I would much rather write about something I’m an expert in so that people will respect and look up to me!
The trouble is, I can’t come up with anything that people would think I’m an expert in.
But I must be an expert in something, obviously, because I write stuff online!
Since I can’t find anything that I’m an expert in yet, or at least anything that I can convince others that I am an expert in (Which my editor says isn’t EXACTLY the same thing- Whatever!) I guess I could write up those stories about the stupid things I did that make me look like a complete idiot.
Well, these are the things that sometimes we need to do for fame and glory!
And that’s what life is all about, wouldn’t you agree?
And so, as a potentially inspiring author yourself, looking up at me with eyes of wonder, what should YOU write about, you ask me?
Great question!
Tip #1
Well, of course, write about the idiotic things you’ve done so that you’ll look stupider than I do, and then I’ll feel better about myself, and we can both share in the fame and glory! (I wouldn’t share any of my fame or glory, of course. I’m not “sanctified” enough for that, which is a Christian way of saying, “I don’t want to.” But I wouldn’t try to take yours if you have your own share of fame or glory. Unless I could.)
Anyway, please send me what you write!
I won’t read it because my therapist says I’m too self-important (That’s the same thing as being important, right?) to read other people’s stuff, but if I’m having a bad day, then I can think about the stupid things that you’ve done and feel better about myself!
Thank you! And it’s nice to have a friend and do these kinds of activities together – It is a wonderful bonding experience! Blessings on your writing!
And the best part about writing online is that we can tell people what they should do to live a successful life like us!
I hope this advice makes you feel “successful1,” too!
For example, I thought of titling today’s newsletter “Blathering About Nothing,” but that headline doesn’t rank as well in the headline analyzer, for which I pay $1,000 annually.
And now, getting down to the nitty-gritty of the advice in this newsletter, I will take off my mask and set aside my neurotic whiny online persona, which, of course has no reflection at all of my actual personality.
So you wonder what to write about or whether you should be writing at all or doing something else?
And then it’s also critical to connect with a group of people that already like you so you don’t have to pretend to be important! They like you because they have to like you, of course, but what difference does that part make? And then you’re soaring.
So you’ll go out in joy, you’ll be led into a whole and complete life.
As the song below plays, ask God, “How do you long for me to pivot my life?” Ask yourself if any of this stuff that I am pulling my hair out trying to attain matters once I’m dead?
Note: The photo of the monkey symbolizes you, of course – NOT me! Why would you think that? Refer to my opening line.
But take comfort!
The soaring bird symbolizes you, too.
1“Successful” relative to my life success, I mean, of course!
2 And funny, but that might be something unique to do with my life, so I have the advantage (over you) of being able to tell others about the stupid things I’ve done.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
The amaryllis opened its two enormous blossoms this week, revealing pink and white splendor and raising the scent profile of the room to a higher level.
And I am that amaryllis.
And so are you.
Let me explain.
Click HERE to continue reading this previously published post.
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For example, a stranger at the Dollar Store once asked me if I thought there was something not-quite-right about Hallowe’en. I asked if it was perhaps the sweet little kids combined with creepy maiming imagery that seemed off. Or is it just me?
Restoring Life 