Funny

How To Make God Like YOU Better Than OTHERS!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a man holding a laptop

The question that keeps me up at night is:

How can God like me BEST, BETTER than other people?

My “Therapist” (What does SHE know?) says that these thoughts of comparison and drivenness are rooted in some sort of neurosis deep down, but I doubt that! Anyway, practically speaking, don’t we ALL want the teacher to like US best? Or the boss? Or even our friends?

Of course!

So, those are the types of questions that keep me up at night. And then God seemed to help me understand how to be his favorite! (I DO know that sentence is “Officially” a “Heresy” or whatever, but stay with me, because what God showed me is -Surprise! – theologically accurate, once you understand my point!)

Anyway, this is what happened.

It seemed God was highlighting the word “Beautiful” to a few of us.

How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!

Ancient Text

There was something God wanted to reveal to us about this word.

As shown in this quote below, God isn’t quite as hung up about physical beauty as we are.

“Looks aren’t everything . . . God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

The Message

So He couldn’t be talking about that.

And in my prayer time, God seemed to show me a picture of two golden cups, one tarnished1, one polished.

Does one of these cups have less value? He seemed to ask my soul.

No! Of course not. Bought by a gold buyer, they would pay equally for both cups as they have EQUAL value.

So it is with my children, He seemed to whisper.

I think God was saying that ALL of his children have EQUAL VALUE in His eyes.

But some are a little more polished or beautiful.

I wondered how to polish oneself. I suddenly realized that a cup can’t polish itself! “How do we get polished a bit more?” I wondered

Let Me polish you, He seemed to whisper. As you draw near to me and seek me, I am polishing you.

And so I thought I would share what I learned here today with you so that maybe God will EVEN like you as much as He likes me!

Or maybe The Point is that:

If we knew how much God valued and loved us, we wouldn’t care how much He loved anyone else.

And I felt calmed, somehow, loved, and like I could finally take my unbearable list of “To-Do” items, the ones that I unconsciously think will help God to “like me” a bit more, and put it over there, far away, in the pile of stuff that God longs to burn. And I felt a bit more free. Maybe I don’t need to be better than others.

My therapist must be wrong!

(At least, I think that’s what she was getting at. See Paragraph One, above, but I am a bit confused whenever she speaks if I’m honest).

God LIKES me, as I already proved definitely HERE. And He LIKES you, too, and finds you more and more beautiful as you allow Him to purify your golden cup in the fire of His Presence. And there is our freedom.

If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, read this ancient story and let the metaphor sit inside your heart for a bit as you ponder, reflect and thank God for this truth.

(And God will be polishing your gold cup a bit more, even as you do this, friend.)

Photo Credit – Good News! by Jade Destiny on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 (*I DO know that only silver tarnishes in real life, not gold, but this is a metaphor, remember? And I believe God considers each of His children to be of the highest value, of gold, so that’s why gold is in the picture. Can we return to the point now?)

Kid Moved Out? So What? (3 Keys That Will Make Your Life Transition Successful)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

a woman sitting in the middle of a movie theater

In the last Newsletter, I said I would offer advice for how to transition gracefully to life’s next season.

I forgot actually to say something that would help you in that Newsletter. Hey, I never promised I would say something useful! I purposefully crafted the fine print in the Terms and Conditions of this site to avoid high expectations. Wow! People expect so much nowadays!

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

The Guaranteed Perspective Of The Mind That Will Make You Transition Well To Your Next Season

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

person crossing net bridge

I wrote something sappy about kids growing up last time, and another time about sending our first kid off to college.

If you haven’t read those Newsletters yet, I’ll summarize them for you: Whiny, whiny, boo-hoo, cry, send our kid away… boring, boring. But this is the thing that really bothers me, as I think about it a bit more.

It’s unfair that we are expected to send our kids away just when they become helpful!

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

How To NOT Flush Yourself Down The Toilet!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a black and white photo of a bird flying in the sky

So I was a bird, soaring in the clear blue sky, when someone down far below aimed their shotgun towards me (or towards something close to me?) and fired. I fell like a lead weight to the ground and landed with a painful “thud”. When I carefully examined myself, I couldn’t find a gunshot wound.

The shot must have just grazed my ear (Wait – Do birds have ears – WHATEVER!).

The point is that I was down on the ground again, walking on two feet, eyes looking as down as my soul.

Even when we beat the odds and finally learn to fly, we can sink back to earth so quickly, don’t you find?

But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

The Message

“What the heck is she going on about now?” you ask each other, popcorn in hand and trying to find the “Rewind” button on the video of this Newsletter. I will explain. I will now put on my (almost) Psychotherapist hat and enlighten you on another great truth that will help you soar through life1.

a man and woman looking at each other

THE POINT:

When our thoughts tear us down, my friend from England calls this “Going down the tube.” For them, a Tube can mean “Toilet!” As in, the “overflow tube” on a toilet where stuff goes when it is flushed! My friend talks about how our thoughts can make us circle the drain, which eventually has approximately the same effect as flushing ourselves down the toilet. Haha! A vivid picture, but something we all do very often, if we’re honest.

For me, (hypothetically speaking, of course) it looked something like this yesterday:

When you are spiraling, remembering in vivid detail the time the mean girl laughed at you in Grade 4, followed by the time you were rejected by THE boy of the century (What was his name again?) in Grade 7, and this was all instigated by the checkout clerk at the grocery store who forgot to glance at you today as she said, “Have a nice day,” your self-esteem (of course) suddenly plummets like that bird in the sky.

So do this, friend:

(1)   Ask God something

(2)   Ask God something else

Above is the framework.

Below is specifically what you ask:

(1)   What is a picture, God, of what is NOT true?

(2)   What is a picture, God, of what IS true?

We quiet our hearts and minds, bring our tangled emotions to God, and ask Him for His perspective.

For example, I did this exact exercise yesterday when I had the VERY RARE occasion of feeling a bit nuts, though I had no idea why, and EVEN MY HAIR was combed that day, so that I couldn’t have been plummeting because of that.

I had a picture of me trying to grasp something just out of reach, something on the top shelf that I wasn’t tall enough to grab, but that I REALLY wanted.

This picture represented the lie I believed, and I immediately remembered something I wanted that didn’t seem like God would give to me.

Then I asked God, “What is the truth?” of this situation, and I saw a picture in my mind’s eye as I sat in prayer of God reaching down from Heaven to pull something off the top shelf – not exactly what I wanted, but something nearby, something smaller, and handing it to me. I enjoyed this item immensely, like a child enjoying a giant lollipop that was precisely the right size to satisfy her sweet tooth and no bigger.

white and red lollipop on blue background

Then I saw that the thing I REALLY wanted was so heavy for my puny arms that even if God did give it to me, I would drop it on my foot and it would crush my toes.

The thing I REALLY wanted wasn’t best for me. Like the things kids sometimes REALLY want, such as a 50-kilogram cake that will only make them sick if they get it. Good parents KNOW what is BEST for their kids, what will satisfy even the desires within them that aren’t fully developed yet (Like for a hunk of broccoli with that cheeseburger now and then).

Could I trust Him?

And then I was soaring again, and not even the fear of missing out or being shot out of the sky by my neuroses could stop me from soaring on the wind!

Try it!

Why not ask God what keeps you in “Nuts” instead of “Joy”?

As the song below sings, “You know what I need”, reflect on this awhile, and then consider asking God, “What is a picture of something that I am struggling with in my life that is NOT the truth?” And “Can You show me your perspective, the truth, about this situation?”

And I hope you can stay soaring in the sky a bit longer next time, friend!

“Who will give me wings,” I ask – “wings like a dove?” Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet.

The Message

Or, at least, I hope you become a bit less nuts!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credits – Bird Soaring (?) Falling (?) – You Decide! by viswaprem anbarasapandian on Unsplash, Giving Advice To Help Another! by Fotos on Unsplash (I am symbolically on the RIGHT in this photo – Which reminds me: I also give helpful marriage advice, such as the FREE advice found HERE and HERE!)

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 I learned a helpful tip about this lately, from Mark Virkler and shout out to him, who ACTUALLY has useful stuff to say on HIS website (Show-off!)!

How Not To Be A Jerk When You Homeschool AND How To Have An Awesome Year!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
woman in black crew neck shirt

I have already written my best advice on this topic HERE, where I clearly explain that the way to sidestep being a complete JERK is to PRETEND to be someone you’re not.

Today, we continue the same theme with more helpful advice on how to NOT be a jerk when you Homeschool.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

I learned many of these lessons from my (failed) efforts to train my dog, and let’s face it, we all know that the lessons we learn from shepherding our pets can be directly applied without any variation at all to lessons about God and parenting.

I was running behind my dog, yelling STOP again as the door opened and a visitor stared wide-eyed as our tiny goldendoodle pounced toward him, intent on humping his leg (again). I chased the dog around the yard hollering at him to behave while our visitor watched, which is the usual routine whenever someone knocks on our door. I finally catch the dog and then explain that our dog had a bad night’s sleep, or an upset stomach, so that’s why he didn’t obey today, AS HE USUALLY DOES, OF COURSE.

So yeah, dog training is EXACTLY like parenting.

Which gently directs this conversation very naturally into parenting advice.

So, how do we not long to give up altogether on this Homeschooling adventure and toss them into public school and hope for the best, even though it may only be our first month or day of Homeschooling?

An excellent question, and that is the topic of today’s newsletter.

Here are my top three recommendations (with four more recommendations in the following newsletter) containing my best advice on how to have a fantastic time Homeschooling:

  1. Try to be someone else. See HERE or the first few paragraphs of this newsletter. (Note to my editor: Yes! I could edit this newsletter so that all of my advice is in one list, but editing is boring, and I have my Duo-lingo streak to maintain, in addition to this writing! I’m busy!)
  2. Have VERY low expectations. Most people have problems with Homeschooling simply because their expectations are too high. Looking to have a GREAT year (or even day) Homeschooling? We experienced Homeschooling ones are laughing our guts out, and the reason why is explained HERE. When your kids cry a bit, grab yourself a martini and read a magazine for a while until that passes! It’s just another Homeschooling day, friends!
  3. Keep the big picture in mind – This is why you have a manifesto. Then you can remember that playing Snakes and Ladders IS your top priority! (See the last bullet in Point #3 of THIS MANIFESTO for an explanation). She is your best friend, so squeeze moments of joy out of every moment someone isn’t crying, friend!

Join us next time for four more tips on having the best Homeschooling year you can (which means not a perfect year or that every day is fantastic, but we got through it, friends, and that’s what matters most!) Oh! I almost forgot the following quote!

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. . . So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the . . . help.

The Message

So enjoy your transformation because you’ll find that many of your sharp edges fall off as you Homeschool because you will have to return to God on your knees, asking for help every day. (Do that too! It helps!)

A butterfly is flying over a piece of wood

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – Mom Not Having The Best Day by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash, Butterfly by Lin Qiu Yi Wan on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Want To Become Less Nuts Now? (Non-)Expert Psychotherapy For Free!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Last time, I told you everything I know about Psychotherapy. Here are five steps to summarize the previous post on fighting overwhelm based on my experience with Psychotherapy. (With any luck, these steps will also help us to become a little less nuts – The point of this post).

1. We slow down.

2. We quiet ourselves.

3. We come as we are, bringing our scattered emotions and lifting our situations to God.

4. We wait.

5. We listen.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!|

What Happens When You Swap Mindless Eating For A Beautiful Life Adventure?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a woman eating a sandwich

So, I found myself mindlessly thinking about lunch right after breakfast and my mid-afternoon sugar snack right after lunch, which, of course, I would NEVER do!

However, I know some of you struggled with this once or twice in your life, perhaps. And how to solve this challenging problem reminds me of a funny story about my dog. THIS is a picture I already showed you of my dog in his Superman costume.

He’s pretty awesome.

Except when we go swimming.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

The Best, Free* Way To Be Less of A Jerk? Pretend You’re Someone Else!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

girl in black and red plaid jacket standing on white floor tiles

With an uncharacteristic lack of self-knowledge, I suddenly realized I was still in pajamas, curlers in my straight hair, that day as I yelled at my homeschooled kids to get up, get dressed, and get to their work!

The only problem was that I hadn’t done any of those things yet, either.

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

While Swimming I Got A Great Idea! Weekly Connection Time!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
man in black and white checkered dress shirt and black cap sitting on chair

So, I was on a long swim because I am so athletic and fit, and while I saw a few fish, I sensed God speaking to my heart.

“Who cares?” you ask.

Well, Holy Spirit was speaking about you.

I know you have been waiting in suspense, clicking “refresh screen” every few minutes since you read THIS POST, and I promised to share one of my fish stories with you, so let’s get down to business.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

That day, as I swam, I came across a brownish green slimy patch of regular-looking water weeds that I swam over.

I sensed from God that the slimy patch of brownish green weeds was my writing. 

“Wow!” I thought. I felt so encouraged by that! There were many, many, much more than usual, minnows1 swimming around in this little unremarkable patch of weeds, which encouraged my heart so much.

The minnows are you!

And this is where it gets personal, and I stick my finger through this Substack and poke you in the chest a little.

I have been astonished at how God has brought so many readers (people from 33 countries so far have read this writing online2), or how there are so many minnows around this brownish colored, slimy patch of weeds!

I kept swimming, because as you know, I swim VERY far, and after I turned around and began swimming back home, I suddenly stopped at the location of that little patch of weeds because THERE WERE SO MANY MINNOWS I couldn’t find a way to swim through them.

God is feeding you, friend, and bringing us together to share our food with each other in this little patch of weeds.

The Point?

There is purpose, there is something God is doing, as He is drawing us together. I no longer feel like I am writing to the wind with the sole purpose of building up my shallow self-esteem, begging for “likes,” and trying to inflate my ego.3

I believe that God is waking people up, teaching them to soar, and placing them in communities to grow roots more deeply so that more of the seeds He has planted in each of our hearts can blossom into the flowers He has called each one of us to share with the world.

So, would any of you be interested in attending a weekly prayer and connection gathering, starting in the fall? 5:00pm Pacific time Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday are potential times that work. Please let me know in the comments, by email, or through the contact forms, which day would be preferable.

The time would be to discuss together and pray together. No talking experience or prayer experience is necessary! It would be great to share prayer and tea regularly, friend.

Yes, of course it would be free!4

Everyone needs to bring their own tea. That’s it! I look forward to connecting with some of you!

Leave a comment

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HERE, HERE and HERE!) Let’s journey together!

1 Also, minnows are small fish, and small fish will, by definition, get bigger (I think?), and so I hope that you hang out with me in my little brown weed patch long enough so that I can get all the credit for your growth! (Editor’s note – Try to think of others, not just yourself. Lori’s note: Whatever!)

2 Yes, the stats of which country you are from are posted for free! Yes, the web is super weird. I’m sorry, but I didn’t even ask to know! “Not all visitors who visit your site will have their location enabled in their browsers. Some visitors might access your site through an incognito browser or a Virtual Private Network (VPN).” So, get an incognito browser or a VPN! The web is weird! You’re welcome! Good luck!

3 Though of course I am doing that, too!

4 Did you think I would pay you to attend?