If you haven’t read those Newsletters yet, I’ll summarize them for you: Whiny, whiny, boo-hoo, cry, send our kid away… boring, boring. But this is the thing that really bothers me, as I think about it a bit more.
It’s unfair that we are expected to send our kids away just when they become helpful!
So I was a bird, soaring in the clear blue sky, when someone down far below aimed their shotgun towards me (or towards something close to me?) and fired. I fell like a lead weight to the ground and landed with a painful “thud”. When I carefully examined myself, I couldn’t find a gunshot wound.
The shot must have just grazed my ear (Wait – Do birds have ears – WHATEVER!).
The point is that I was down on the ground again, walking on two feet, eyes looking as down as my soul.
“What the heck is she going on about now?” you ask each other, popcorn in hand and trying to find the “Rewind” button on the video of this Newsletter. I will explain. I will now put on my (almost) Psychotherapist hat and enlighten you on another great truth that will help you soar through life1.
When our thoughts tear us down, my friend from England calls this “Going down the tube.” For them, a Tube can mean “Toilet!” As in, the “overflow tube” on a toilet where stuff goes when it is flushed! My friend talks about how our thoughts can make us circle the drain, which eventually has approximately the same effect as flushing ourselves down the toilet. Haha! A vivid picture, but something we all do very often, if we’re honest.
For me, (hypothetically speaking, of course) it looked something like this yesterday:
When you are spiraling, remembering in vivid detail the time the mean girl laughed at you in Grade 4, followed by the time you were rejected by THE boy of the century (What was his name again?) in Grade 7, and this was all instigated by the checkout clerk at the grocery store who forgot to glance at you today as she said, “Have a nice day,” your self-esteem (of course) suddenly plummets like that bird in the sky.
So do this, friend:
(1) Ask God something
(2) Ask God something else
Above is the framework.
Below is specifically what you ask:
(1) What is a picture, God, of what is NOT true?
(2) What is a picture, God, of what IS true?
We quiet our hearts and minds, bring our tangled emotions to God, and ask Him for His perspective.
For example, I did this exact exercise yesterday when I had the VERY RARE occasion of feeling a bit nuts, though I had no idea why, and EVEN MY HAIR was combed that day, so that I couldn’t have been plummeting because of that.
I had a picture of me trying to grasp something just out of reach, something on the top shelf that I wasn’t tall enough to grab, but that I REALLY wanted.
This picture represented the lie I believed, and I immediately remembered something I wanted that didn’t seem like God would give to me.
Then I asked God, “What is the truth?” of this situation, and I saw a picture in my mind’s eye as I sat in prayer of God reaching down from Heaven to pull something off the top shelf – not exactly what I wanted, but something nearby, something smaller, and handing it to me. I enjoyed this item immensely, like a child enjoying a giant lollipop that was precisely the right size to satisfy her sweet tooth and no bigger.
The thing I REALLY wanted wasn’t best for me. Like the things kids sometimes REALLY want, such as a 50-kilogram cake that will only make them sick if they get it. Good parents KNOW what is BEST for their kids, what will satisfy even the desires within them that aren’t fully developed yet (Like for a hunk of broccoli with that cheeseburger now and then).
Could I trust Him?
And then I was soaring again, and not even the fear of missing out or being shot out of the sky by my neuroses could stop me from soaring on the wind!
Try it!
Why not ask God what keeps you in “Nuts” instead of “Joy”?
As the song below sings, “You know what I need”, reflect on this awhile, and then consider asking God, “What is a picture of something that I am struggling with in my life that is NOT the truth?” And “Can You show me your perspective, the truth, about this situation?”
And I hope you can stay soaring in the sky a bit longer next time, friend!
“Who will give me wings,” I ask – “wings like a dove?” Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet.
Photo Credits – Bird Soaring (?) Falling (?) – You Decide! by viswaprem anbarasapandian on Unsplash, Giving Advice To Help Another! by Fotos on Unsplash (I am symbolically on the RIGHT in this photo – Which reminds me: I also give helpful marriage advice, such as the FREE advice found HERE and HERE!)
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
1 I learned a helpful tip about this lately, from Mark Virkler and shout out to him, who ACTUALLY has useful stuff to say on HIS website (Show-off!)!
I have already written my best advice on this topic HERE, where I clearly explain that the way to sidestep being a complete JERK is to PRETEND to be someone you’re not.
Today, we continue the same theme with more helpful advice on how to NOT be a jerk when you Homeschool.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
I learned many of these lessons from my (failed) efforts to train my dog, and let’s face it, we all know that the lessons we learn from shepherding our pets can be directly applied without any variation at all to lessons about God and parenting.
I was running behind my dog, yelling STOP again as the door opened and a visitor stared wide-eyed as our tiny goldendoodle pounced toward him, intent on humping his leg (again). I chased the dog around the yard hollering at him to behave while our visitor watched, which is the usual routine whenever someone knocks on our door. I finally catch the dog and then explain that our dog had a bad night’s sleep, or an upset stomach, so that’s why he didn’t obey today, AS HE USUALLY DOES, OF COURSE.
So yeah, dog training is EXACTLY like parenting.
Which gently directs this conversation very naturally into parenting advice.
An excellent question, and that is the topic of today’s newsletter.
Here are my top three recommendations (with four more recommendations in the following newsletter) containing my best advice on how to have a fantastic time Homeschooling:
Try to be someone else. See HERE or the first few paragraphs of this newsletter. (Note to my editor: Yes! I could edit this newsletter so that all of my advice is in one list, but editing is boring, and I have my Duo-lingo streak to maintain, in addition to this writing! I’m busy!)
Have VERY low expectations. Most people have problems with Homeschooling simply because their expectations are too high. Looking to have a GREAT year (or even day) Homeschooling? We experienced Homeschooling ones are laughing our guts out, and the reason why is explained HERE. When your kids cry a bit, grab yourself a martini and read a magazine for a while until that passes! It’s just another Homeschooling day, friends!
Keep the big picture in mind – This is why you have a manifesto. Then you can remember that playing Snakes and Ladders IS your top priority! (See the last bullet in Point #3 of THIS MANIFESTO for an explanation). She is your best friend, so squeeze moments of joy out of every moment someone isn’t crying, friend!
Join us next time for four more tips on having the best Homeschooling year you can (which means not a perfect year or that every day is fantastic, but we got through it, friends, and that’s what matters most!) Oh! I almost forgot the following quote!
Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. . . So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the . . . help.
So enjoy your transformation because you’ll find that many of your sharp edges fall off as you Homeschool because you will have to return to God on your knees, asking for help every day. (Do that too! It helps!)
Last time, I told you everything I know about Psychotherapy. Here are five steps to summarize the previous post on fighting overwhelm based on my experience with Psychotherapy. (With any luck, these steps will also help us to become a little less nuts – The point of this post).
1. We slow down.
2. We quiet ourselves.
3. We come as we are, bringing our scattered emotions and lifting our situations to God.
So, I found myself mindlessly thinking about lunch right after breakfast and my mid-afternoon sugar snack right after lunch, which, of course, I would NEVER do!
However, I know some of you struggled with this once or twice in your life, perhaps. And how to solve this challenging problem reminds me of a funny story about my dog. THIS is a picture I already showed you of my dog in his Superman costume.
With an uncharacteristic lack of self-knowledge, I suddenly realized I was still in pajamas, curlers in my straight hair, that day as I yelled at my homeschooled kids to get up, get dressed, and get to their work!
The only problem was that I hadn’t done any of those things yet, either.
So, I was on a long swim because I am so athletic and fit, and while I saw a few fish, I sensed God speaking to my heart.
“Who cares?” you ask.
Well, Holy Spirit was speaking about you.
I know you have been waiting in suspense, clicking “refresh screen” every few minutes since you read THIS POST, and I promised to share one of my fish stories with you, so let’s get down to business.
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
That day, as I swam, I came across a brownish green slimy patch of regular-looking water weeds that I swam over.
I sensed from God that the slimy patch of brownish green weeds was my writing.
“Wow!” I thought. I felt so encouraged by that! There were many, many, much more than usual, minnows1 swimming around in this little unremarkable patch of weeds, which encouraged my heart so much.
I have been astonished at how God has brought so many readers (people from 33 countries so far have read this writing online2), or how there are so many minnows around this brownish colored, slimy patch of weeds!
I kept swimming, because as you know, I swim VERY far, and after I turned around and began swimming back home, I suddenly stopped at the location of that little patch of weeds because THERE WERE SO MANY MINNOWS I couldn’t find a way to swim through them.
There is purpose, there is something God is doing, as He is drawing us together. I no longer feel like I am writing to the wind with the sole purpose of building up my shallow self-esteem, begging for “likes,” and trying to inflate my ego.3
So, would any of you be interested in attending a weekly prayer and connection gathering, starting in the fall? 5:00pm Pacific time Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday are potential times that work. Please let me know in the comments, by email, or through the contact forms, which day would be preferable.
The time would be to discuss together and pray together. No talking experience or prayer experience is necessary! It would be great to share prayer and tea regularly, friend.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HERE, HERE and HERE!) Let’s journey together!
1 Also, minnows are small fish, and small fish will, by definition, get bigger (I think?), and so I hope that you hang out with me in my little brown weed patch long enough so that I can get all the credit for your growth! (Editor’s note – Try to think of others, not just yourself. Lori’s note: Whatever!)
2 Yes, the stats of which country you are from are posted for free! Yes, the web is super weird. I’m sorry, but I didn’t even ask to know! “Not all visitors who visit your site will have their location enabled in their browsers. Some visitors might access your site through an incognito browser or a Virtual Private Network (VPN).” So, get an incognito browser or a VPN! The web is weird! You’re welcome! Good luck!
I was mindlessly living my life, as we all do, being blown by the wind of the general opinions and attitudes of others, as the hidden currents of our culture pull us. (And by the way, if you think you are immune to the pushes and pulls of your current culture, that is the very air you breathe, then HAHAHAHAHAH! We laugh at you!) The only thing more ridiculous than being blown by the wind of the general opinions and attitudes of the culture you live in is NOT KNOWING you are being blown by the wind and of your culture!
THE POINT is that we are all shaped by the voices of others that enter our minds unobserved, and that God’s voice serves as a salve, as medicine, correcting our lives by a degree or two, if our ears are open to hearing Him convicting us.
This is what happened to me recently.
I had been swimming that day, as I do in that lake in the summer.
Usually, I see one fish, maybe two, as I swim along before I tire.
But that day I saw a school of fish, something rare in this lake. “Wow!” I thought. When I saw another school of fish, a large fish, and another large fish, and then two more huge schools of fish, I began to think, “This is VERY, VERY unusual.”
Literally hundreds more fish passed me that day, until I finally asked, “God, do you want to speak to me?” through this very unusual situation.
And He did speak. And His voice healed my heart. But that is for next time because my time is up again, and as mentioned HERE, your attention span is much too short (No! It’s NOT that I get distracted and forget what I’m even writing about – of COURSE NOT!)
God uses anything, everything, to grab our attention – poke and startle us a little- if our eyes, ears, and hearts are open to this possibility.
And so, the best way to course correct to avoid walking off the cliff by the invisible wind of culture? Clean out your ears to the voice of God, friend. He’s already speaking. We simply need to find our ears on the ground and reattach them to hear what He is saying—more on this next time.
Photo Credit – Will He Fall Off The Cliff Or Receive Help? by Felipe Souza on Unsplash
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HERE, HERE and HERE!) Let’s journey together!
Restoring Life 