Funny

The One Person You Can’t Live A Successful Life Without! (Me!?)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a little girl sitting on the steps of a building

The more astute of you1 will have noticed that my post-publishing frequency has decreased lately from a profusion of three times per week to a paltry two times per week!

I hope you will be comforted by the following reason for this significant decline.2

I need to do lots and lots of “Research” this summer so I can write my book!3

To update you on my book writing progress, I am currently in the process of choosing a perfect title. How, you ask?

Good question.

With my astute perception that easily grasps current cultural trends and fads, as definitely proven HERE, HERE, and HERE, I have noticed that many of the best-selling books in the bookstores have the *F* word and other terrible words in them that would never be uttered by me or by my homeschooled children.

For example, check out this book I recently purchased.4

Disclaimer: This book has a bad word in its subtitle!

OUTRAGEOUS!

And yet, since shocking words in the titles, subtitles, and text is currently the magic formula that ensures a book’s success5, I plan to spend the summer (in addition to lazing at a nearby lake, of course) writing a list all the bad words I know and combining them with less inflammatory words (to moderate the shock) and therefore, to write the perfect book tittle!

I recommend the same approach for other would-be writers! As I always say, follow the crowd! There will undoubtedly be success somewhere in a big group!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

I am only slightly dumbfounded about what to write on all the pages of the book itself, but one step at a time!

To finish today’s writing, which is meant to encourage and refresh you, I must inform you that given the sudden decrease of my writing frequency, I herewith remove myself of all liabilities of the consequences of your life decisions due to the impact of my sudden relative absence in my writing, which of course, impacts how and what decisions you make in life.6

Don’t worry. I’ll return to writing with increased frequency soon to show you the correct paths for abundant living!

And if you need help and I’m not immediately available – Why not try God, friend?7

God said, “My presence will go with you . . .”

The Message

Photo Credit: Child Looking Up To Someone by Cardia Gong on Unsplash

1 Those who hang off of every word I write and, thus clearly the most intelligent of readers

2 Yes! The weather has suddenly gotten much lovelier, but I’m sure that has nothing to do with it!

3 The only trouble is that I’ve used the excuse of writing a book the last two summers, and I’ve looked all around for the book that I wrote, but I can’t find it!

4 I meant to say- this is an example of a terrible book that I would NEVER purchase myself!

5 Visit your local bookstore for many examples in the “Recent Bestsellers” section of books with bad words in them. DISCLAIMER – These books have bad words in them!

6 Now, what should I make for dinner and do for the rest of my evening and the rest of my life, I wonder? My life is so much more complicated when I don’t have people to guide every moment! I feel almost lost!

7 You never know! He may even have something valuable to say that could help you or be able to guide you like a Shepherd leading a lamb to living water to satisfy your unquenchable thirst or to encourage you to follow Him into a new adventure if you find you don’t have anything better to do this summer and figure you might as well spend a few minutes learning to quiet yourself and have some of the greatest moments of your life encountering the God who loves you and is waiting for you. And may your soul find the Source of peace, friend.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

We Need To Open Eyes To The Terrors Foreigners Are Exposed To For One Powerful Reason

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
close-up photo of persons eye

So I seized the homeless kid by the neck and violently shook him because he tried to grab my dime when I wasn’t looking at it for a moment.

Well, not exactly.

As proven HERE, you can’t trust EVERYTHING you read online!

The true story is HERE.

The summary of this event is:

  • We were on the other side of having relational connections that could help us (we were travelling)
  • We didn’t have a place to stay or some food either (we were robbed)
  • We were in a hostile situation (teen females travelling in a country that believed women brought trouble on ourselves for having the nerve to travel alone)
  • We were below being helped (the police wouldn’t let us use their phone to call our embassy!)
  • We were up the creek without a paddle (as the saying goes).

After the local police pushed us out of their office and told us to solve our problems ourselves, we looked around, stunned.

What do we do next?

“I know!” I announced energetically, my Ned Flanders optimism in high gear, even back then, more than twenty-five years ago. “Let’s return to our lodge and read what to do in our “Let’s Go, Europe!” guide!

“This is the worst thing that could have happened to us!” my friend yelled. “Nothing in that book tells us what to do next!” The truth of our situation was dawning on me, like a light bulb on a dimmer, slowly illuminating.

We sat on the curb, watching the street kids, whose faces had more grime than ours, though all our faces were marked with tear stains. They had bare feet, but otherwise, our hearts entwined as one as we experienced the beginnings of the emotions any other human would have felt in a similar situation – despair, alienation from “the rest” of culture, and fear. A few short hours had erased much of the divide between “us” and “them”.

“What now?” my friend and I asked each other silently. We were sitting curbside outside our motel. Despite our protests, the motel owner told us to get our stuff and ourselves out onto the streets where we belonged.

And then she came.

A local woman arrived bringing a tray of fruit and local bread to share.

She had heard about our “misfortune” from her daughter.

The one hiccup in this story of rescue is that her daughter was the one who immediately told us NOT to chase after the guy who robbed us. Was she an accomplice? Was her mother? Were they all working together as one terrifying mob? We didn’t have many choices, and so after inhaling the food, our eyes still wide with fear, we begged this stranger to let us stay at her home that night.

And she opened her home to us.

And she shared the Gospel with us.

In the years that followed, I had often wondered, did Jesus prompt her compassion so she would want to show up and check on us?

Maybe.

But opening her home to two teenage strangers until the embassy representative could arrive after Spain’s long weekend holiday altered the trajectory of my life.

What would my life have been like had I been tossed out onto the violent streets of the city for a week instead, I have often wondered.

This woman, obeying the inner voice of God, or perhaps the outer voice of a Pastor, or the words of a Sacred Text, saved my life from physical, emotional and/or spiritual trauma.

Oh, and so, why do we choose to open our eyes to dangers foreigners are susceptible to being exposed to?

But for the grace of God, that foreigner could be you or one of YOUR loved ones.

When he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. . . Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. . . . Jesus said, “Go and do the same.”

The Message

And so now I can put myself in more dangerous and stupid situations because I KNOW that you will help me!

Thank you!

And you’re welcome for the advice!

Good luck!

Seriously though – Who is God asking you to remember in prayer, or what is He asking you to do this morning as you open your eyes to another? Who can you share your measly lunch with? Who could use a heart of compassion and an “I see you” smile?

And I wonder at the joy unveiled, like the opening of a present, when we meet the people in Heaven who credit us as those who were the hands and feet of Jesus through listening and obeying and changing the trajectory of their lives for the better.

How much future joy are you stockpiling? Got your heart open to the promptings of Holy Spirit? Oh, and thanks from those of us who appreciate your open eyes.

a row of gold bars sitting on top of a shelf

Photo Credits: Eyes Open by Amanda Dalbjörn on Unsplash, Gold Stockpiled by Yana Hurska on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Surprise! A Little Extra Joy Is The Thing That Can Be Extracted After Porcupines Quill Us!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a hedgehog on the ground

Today’s newsletter consists of two parts:

Part 1 – A story (about ME!!!) – Written by my daughter, Esther!

Part 2 – An explanation (also by ME!) of why I randomly thought of porcupines after reading this!

Additional profound extrapolations of the text (by ME! – Of course!) are in the footnotes!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Part 1: Story by Esther

Sparse and invisible rain floats gently from the sky, sometimes merging on the skin or the pavement as several droplets.

The speckled street gives way to the cars that cruise amiably down it.

There is no rush in this town; there is a sense of welcome and leisure despite busy schedules and people filled with excitement for the day. Everyone knows everyone else by name, and even if one wanted to stay anonymous, one could not. The small businesses are like people; each one has their personality.

Or perhaps it is due to the lack of stores that each of them stands out all the more brightly.

One couple meanders down the street, hand in hand.

He is tall and strong, but his face radiates gentleness, and his laughter shows not only on his face but also in his eyes. The woman1 mirrors many of the same features, but her eyes gleam with a fire of intensity not commonly found. Despite this, her kindness (See Footnote 1) is evident in the smile lines around her mouth and her loving (See Footnote 1) eyes.

Woe unto the person who stumbles across the man’s path while he is hungry.

And woe unto the person who stumbles across the woman’s path when the woman is tired.2 Yet, they grow together. They challenge each other. They fight the battles of life together, side by side. They complement each other (See Footnote 1) with a bond made one of the strongest in the world.

The couple passes by the library, a place steeped in magic.

It is a chest that holds the secrets of life and beauty, and its key is given generously, though not many take it. Those who deem it ridiculous are those who refuse the key, but to the one who graciously takes it, wonders are in store. The couple’s two children are currently there, for the couple sees their melancholy dog sitting patiently outside, waiting for someone to pet him. He gets up and furiously wags his tail, assured that this means he is finally going home. After reassuring the dog that they would be back soon and trying to ignore the forsaken and betrayed look in his eyes, the couple wanders up the steps and into the library.

There they find a friend and exchange greetings. The man is asked about his work. His hands, though gentle and unassuming, have ministered to and helped thousands, but by his humble3 nature, he never boasts.

His wife, who stands beside him, is just as accomplished (See Footnote 1), with a heart for the betterment of people’s lives (See Footnote 1) and a passion for the preservation of the planet (See Footnote 1).

She sacrificed her career (See Footnote 1) for her children’s careers, homeschooling and helping them find what interests and motivates them. Sometimes, they drive her crazy. Well, maybe it’s a lot of the time. And sometimes she drives them crazy, too (See Footnote 2). Perhaps it is God growing everyone’s patience4.

The couple breaks away from the conversation and finds their children immersed in their books and hesitant to leave.

The family checks out their stacks of literature and heads to the car, picking up the relieved5 dog on the way. The car slowly pulls out and heads leisurely home. There’s no rush. Or, maybe there is because now the man is hungry.

Part 2: Random Thoughts Including: Porcupine Quills Can Eventually Bring Joy! by Me

I think of porcupines who quill each other when I think of this story. For example, I am mad at my daughter for writing things that are BLATANT lies about me and that don’t make me look as stupendous as I know I am deep down! Anyway, we (for example – HER) each come with our own set of quills, like porcupines, and we accidentally and purposefully (sometimes) quill each other and even ourselves. I.e., Remember when “the man” in the story above gets hungry? Watch out!

However, being quilled by porcupines (ironically) promotes our healing.

Why?

Because in our inevitable relational pain (that THEY cause), we finally draw near to God, who has been calling out and wooing us our entire lives.

And so, as we bring our faces full of another’s (and our own?) quills, God can use this situation to heal US, as He lovingly tends to each quill, sometimes removing it immediately and sometimes giving us healing oil and the strength to persevere.

And we can rest in the confidence of knowing that we are loved by each other (They HAVE TO love you!) and by God.

And this is where we find joy.

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy

Ancient Text

Photo Credit – Porcupine by Derek Otway on Unsplash

Footnotes

1 Author of this blog’s note – This is ME! She is talking about ME in this story! That’s how you know I’m famous and important, by the way!!!

2 WAIT – WHA…? I thought she only said NICE stuff about me in public! I’m going to ground her to her room for a month! But wait – she’s flying back to her job and University tomorrow!

3 WHY didn’t she call ME humble? Now I’m even madder! I thought she knew me SO well! (See Footnote 1). Obviously, I see now that she understands NOTHING about me!

4 AMEN!

5 Does she mean “about to pee?”

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Demonic Art Might Look Like A Fantastic Thing! 3 Reasons Why Jesus Is Even Better!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
brown cross on brown rock during daytime

Now, I have been compared to Ned Flanders. I’m not sure why because, of course, we all know I am very cool! For example, check out my fashion and modern decor advice HERE, HERE and HERE!

As mentioned HERE, I’ve noticed a disturbing rise in pretty young restaurant servers and other seemingly normal people1 enjoying tattooing their bodies with overtly demonic art.

Why?

That’s my question.

I struggled with this question for a while, which means I thought and thought about it without doing any research or talking to anyone else about it, when it suddenly occurred to me that course, if we want to know the answer to ANYTHING, we only need to ask AI!

AI explains that demonic art is increasingly popular in modern culture for the following reasons:

Satanic symbolism [can be used] to explore moral dilemmas and question power and corruption, [and is] . . . a powerful emblem of change and resistance

Politics And Rights Review

And hey! These themes are very healthy to pursue and are topics I agree should be thought deeply about! My friend Ned told me not to get a demon tattoo, so I won’t, but the spirit behind what people are looking for when embracing this art is something I agree with, too!

But here’s the thing- Jesus has a way cooler way of talking about these themes!

For example, Jesus talked to a DEAD person, too!

Have you ever thought about that?

Of course, when Jesus talked to the dead person, he returned to life, one of the (more than!) three reasons Jesus is so much cooler than demons! Spiritual, intellectual, emotional and sometimes even physical LIFE happens when we hang around a guy like Jesus!

The second reason Jesus is cooler than demons is that when we align ourselves with Jesus, all kinds of great things come into our lives. When we align ourselves with the demonic, we’re very quickly over our heads, as this Exorcist Files Podcast is documenting is happening more and more in Western culture.

The third reason why Jesus is cooler than demons is because Jesus is all about love, and demons are all about hate. For example, think about all the great heroes of the movies you love best, and all of them gave up something so that someone else could flourish. (Sounds a lot like Jesus!2) Demons devour you for their advantage. For example, think about all the bad guys in movies.

And wouldn’t you rather be a good guy than a bad guy?

So try Jesus instead.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – Cross by Yannick Pulver on Unsplash

1 It’s not just Hells Angels members who are tattooing themselves with demons anymore. Hells Angels members are definitely not normal, but NO OFFENCE if you are a Hells Angels member, of course! We like you! Or we don’t like you, I mean, because maybe you don’t want to be liked! Whatever! (Who wouldn’t like to be liked? I thought that being liked gives our lives meaning and purpose! So Hells Angels are definitely whacked!) Note to Editor- I DID say that respectfully! And yes, I DID update my Life Insurance Policy. Why do you ask?

2 Another time, we’ll talk about the book all Disney Writers are encouraged to read so their content has a theme of self-sacrifice to help another flourish (Sounds like Jesus!).

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

To Be A Fantastic Travel Blogger, Don’t Do This 1 Thing!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Do you ever look back on your life and think, “I must seem like a complete nutcase to someone else?”

I was driving from Canada to the United States on Stage One of this new identity as a “Successful Travel Blogger” this week when that EXACT same thing happened to me!

The Border Guard asked me why I was travelling to the United States. I was using all my self-control to ensure I wouldn’t get the giggles again like a teenager when the Border Guard asked me questions, and my nervousness took over like the last time I crossed the border. (That’s another story my children still annoyingly talk about incredibly frequently!) However, this time, in my calm, adult way as exemplified HERE, I answered his questions directly and without giving additional information.

“California,” I answered.

His annoying questions persisted, and before long, I found myself babbling about Revivals. “Have you heard of the Jesus Revolution?” I found myself asking the Border Guard excitedly. You see, I have been studying Revival History this year, and my travels are taking me to California to meet with others who have also been digging deep into Revival History. 

I am fully aware that this activity seems like a completely nutso way to spend your day to most of the world.

But it also reminds me of the unusual new world I entered when I jumped off the cliff and began following Jesus on a spiritual adventure in my university days.

“This is an entirely different world,” I endlessly repeated in my culture shock, babbling about our weekend get-togethers to whoever would listen. None of us university students would get drunk, and instead, we would spend our weekend evenings in times of prayer and tears, sharing our hearts after dancing at a toga party. It was an unusual mix of fun and depth.

And I’m still following God on an adventure that is a bit of a culture shock to the people I meet.

It’s funny what you get used to!

And it’s great how much fun life becomes when you stop caring whether you fit into the same box as everyone else.

And so, what is the one thing we shouldn’t do as a travel blogger?

Not care quite so much what people think of us so we can soar into the adventure God calls each of us to.

And so, another time, I’ll tell you more about how I’m persisting in being an amazing travel blogger so hopefully, you will put me on a pedestal and think very highly of me!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credits – Person Thinking by Paola Aguilar on Unsplash, Bird Soaring Off Cliff by Ruben Valenzuela on Unsplash, Bird Soaring In Sky by Alfonso Betancourt on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Blind to What Actually Matters Most? The Forgotten Step You Need To Soar

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a horse standing on a beach next to the ocean

Last time, I told you the story of me getting connected with an online group aiming to dig deep spiritually, past the muck and hard earth and to help each other shovel as deep as the soft parts of our hearts, where God feels most welcome.

So, to connect with this online group in person, I’ll be boarding an airplane this week, waving goodbye to you all and STARTING – Wait, I mean CONTINUING of course! – my new identity as a travel blogger!

But there’s a bit more to the story, a part reflecting how God is already there working in all of our lives, and to see this, we need only open our eyes.

This is what happened.

I mentioned last time that I sensed God asking me to join this online group, and I was surprised that God actually knows what He is doing and even knows more than I do! The surprise was that I fit right into a group of people with similar backgrounds, that God was wooing, it appeared, in a similar direction. I had no idea where to begin looking for a group like that, and wouldn’t have thought to try. And over the months, I felt more connected in this group and felt called to continue walking and digging deep with these people.

There’s a story and a surprise kiss from God at this part of the story, too.

Last summer, I thought I sensed God asking us to eliminate clutter in our home. As I sold stuff, I felt Him nudge me, saying He wanted me to buy something for myself with the money I earned. But what? I couldn’t think of anything, which may sound funny, but is true. Do we always need more stuff from Walmart or different clothes when duct tape makes stuff last sooo much longer? (Did I mention I’m Canadian?)

But then, when I realized a few months later that I wanted to take more courses with these people, I counted the cost, and the amount for me to study the courses for the year was within about $10 of what I earned from selling stuff last summer.

As the icing on the cake, I received an email from the group administrator last week saying that I miscalculated the PayPal fees and owe them another $10.

So what?

A coincidence?

Maybe.

Or maybe God is opening my eyes and vicariously opening your eyes, that He DOES offer us little jewels along our path if our eyes are open.

And so what is the forgotten step to removing spiritual blinders?

ask

you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it

Ancient Text

As the song below plays, ask God what He has been whispering, but your ears lie on the floor. Where is He standing next to you with a key to solve a problem that disturbs your soul, but you are too busy to stop and notice Him standing next to you?

Help us, God, to remove the blinders from our eyes and the cotton balls from our ears so that we can soar into who we are meant to become, we pray.

a large bird flying through a blue sky

Photo Credits: Horse With Blinders by rhoda alex on Unsplash, Large Bird Soaring by Alfonso Betancourt on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Want To Be A “Successful” Travel Blogger? (So Do I!)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
smiling man walking while looking side view

I’m shading my eyes with one hand because the sun is so bright!

I’m looking into next week.

Next week, I am heading off on an airplane to California!

We know that I am a “successful” travel blogger as proven definitely HERE (Note to Editor – Can that link be “accidentally” malfunctioning so that readers can’t READ that Newsletter? Thanks!)

Where am I off to this week, you ask with wonder and awe?

Well, since you ask, I can share the details of my travel itinerary with you!

Last fall, I felt the spirit of God nudging me to join an online course with a spiritual focus.

I thought, “I’ll sign up later”, returning to my popcorn and movie. But I probably wouldn’t. That night, the last night you could register as the class started the next day, I felt Jesus holding his hand and leading me into the kitchen and to my iPhone to sign up.

At the first online meeting the next day, I was grumpy for even being there. “What am I doing here?” I wondered. I was later stunned, as you can imagine, when I heard the teacher say, “It seems God is leading some people together who have a Masters degree or a PhD that God is calling into writing.”

I hadn’t told them I had a Master’s degree that I tossed aside because it seemed God was leading me elsewhere. (Yes, the identity crisis did come, but that’s another story). The course had nothing to do with writing.

The point is that God has me on a journey (As he has you on). Would I follow?

Will you?

That group is meeting up this week in California to press in for more of God’s kingdom expressed through the hard earth and thick skulls all humans possess.

Is your heart searching for more of something, and could it be God, too, friend?

If so, join us on an adventure.

As the song below plays, listen with the ears connected to your heart. Do you sense God calling you, after you set aside your fear for a minute or two? What’s your next step?

And I’ll post updates on our travels and escapades here this week as a special focus.1

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 Or I mean because I am a TRUE travel blogger (Note for my editor- Do you think they will believe me that I am “successful” even if my definition of success may not EXACTLY MATCH other’s definitions?)

To Become Strong At The Gym, Look Down On These 3 Types Of People!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
topless man holding black and white ceramic mug

Most people fail at the gym because they look down on the wrong people at the wrong time.

The proper way to be successful at the gym is to choose WHO EXACTLY to look down on, and WHEN. Let me explain. A new guy in our gym class worked out using too much weight and bad form.

I saw him nursing a sore bicep immediately following this exercise.

The reason why so many people pump too much weight at the beginning before they have strength or skill in lifting is because, of course, they don’t want others to look down on them.

But here’s the little twist of fate that makes all that sweat at the gym worthwhile after a few months:

If you can suffer through the humility of having others at the gym looking down on you for just a short season then . . .

You can be the one looking down on others VERY soon because you will have a strong physique, and someone new will show up at the gym, so you can (therefore, of course!) look down on the latest people in just a few months!

So the trick then, as mentioned in my opening sentence, is to:

CHOOSE CAREFULLY WHO EXACTLY YOU WANT TO LOOK DOWN ON AND WHEN.

However, MAYBE you’re one of those morally superior people who NEVER looks down on others or tells others that you think you are morally superior! Well GOOD for you! But since I’ve never met anyone like that, let’s keep discussing these points for the rest of us, “not-so-amazing ones”.

  1. The first type of people you CAN make fun of are those who think they are SO amazing.1 See the preceding paragraph. That is a given in any circumstance and irrelevant to the topic of the gym, but is worth reminding each other of, anyway. You’re welcome! Who else can you feel superior to?
  2. You can feel superior to people who DON’T go to the gym! “I went to the gym today,” you can drop, as a casual comment. That sentence is enough to garner respect from everyone you know! You MUST be, therefore: Accomplished!, Disciplined! Skilled! Try not to mention this in front of someone you ACTUALLY go to the gym with, lest they snicker when they remember you forgot to put the little stopper on the large barbell thing so the weight doesn’t fall off again or that you accidentally reached for your water bottle under the guy who was weightlifting, and he smacked the thing on your head (True story). Such details ruin the effects you are after.
  3. Not only is it wise to CHOOSE SPECIFIC PEOPLE you are aiming to feel superior to, but it is also wise to choose WHEN you will feel superior them! For example, you can feel superior to MANY people even AT the gym once you’ve gone there for a while!

And then we’ve come full circle, and now YOU are the one making fun of the new people at the gym!

PS – As an aside, I know this may be surprising to you, but I recently read a book that has a chapter about humility in it, and in fact, on reflection, the definition below from this book fits in perfectly with this Newsletter:

Humility (Definition): “The simple and freeing . . . assessment of who God is and who I am. It is rooted in our belovedness and adoption of the Father, so we aren’t tricked into timidity or start feeing like a worm.”

Lower by Zach Meerkreebs

So as another strategy, you could also get fit by going to the gym, working out, and not noticing or caring whether others are judging you or not, because you already found your self-esteem somewhere else!

However, this strategy seems impossible, so I don’t recommend the approach.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

1 Try to do this humbly.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!