Pull up a chair and laugh WITH (Wait – AT?!) us, friend!
As clearly and thoroughly elaborated in THIS ARTICLE, I require an EXCESSIVE amount of time this holiday season skiing and soaking in a hot tub.
However, given that some of you in the over fifty countries1 who read this drivel (no-STUFF!) can barely function without my constant wisdom flooding your inbox, I will be posting some of our previous Christmas letters here to help you through this season with adequate wisdom and insight to complete the bare minimum of your Christmas activities.
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
We enjoy publishing a letter and sending it to all our friends and family for the Holidays.
This is where we update you on our family and share some insightful sayings that our family members shared this year to encourage you! And so, “What happened this year?” You ask? I’m glad you asked!
Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!
Well, our youngest child decided to leave home a year earlier than anticipated.
She’s planning to move out this summer, which sent me into a (SLIGHT!) identity spiral:
Luckily, I have been researching starting another Master’s Degree (I’m smarter than I let on) or a certificate, or additional schooling of some sort, to try to claw my way into some sort of cultural significance. (Or should I get more counselling instead to work on the neuroses that drive me? Well, I guess we’ll see whether a year of schooling or a year of therapy is cheaper.)
So, yes, given my new plans, as described above, for when all the kids move out, everything is great!
Now that we’ve got all that sappy and annoying “real” stuff out of the way, not much has really changed around here.
We putter around a bit. Our kids putter around a bit, do their homeschooling, and then they move out and leave us, one after the other. (That’s FINE! Who cares?). Our animals, a dog and a rabbit, putter around a bit, too, as usual.
That’s about it.
Anyway, without further ado, here are some quotes family members said last year. May you have a good laugh (At our expense?! – WAIT! IF you laugh, EVEN ONCE, MAKE SURE you send us some of the stupid stuff YOU said so we can laugh at you, too!)
Andy to me: “Yes! I DO want you to come to the hockey game with me! Why? Because I’ll have more fun if you’re there! Everything is better with you. You’re like whipped cream.”
Did I mention that we are celebrating twenty-five years of marriage this year? If you’re marriage is on the rocks, copy and paste what Andy said here to your wife! More marriage advice HERE and HERE and below!
Kyah, as she was about to do math – “Oh wait. I have to get my headset so I can listen to classical music so I won’t cry.”
Me to a young man from our church, “You’re a good boy.”
Kyah: “Mom! Why do you talk to him like that! That’s the same way you talk to the dog!”
Young man: “She’s trying to embarrass me, but she ends up embarrassing herself.”
Me: (!)
THE POINT is that not much seems to change with me, either, despite my pouring money into (obviously useless) therapy! However, more articles on how to excel relationally and even to have fun with others can be found HERE and HERE!
Significant changes in our home INCLUDE that our predator (dog) and prey (bunny) ARE changing!
A LOT!
Andy to me: “You are like Cesar Millan. You ARE the dog whisperer.” The dog was peacefully lying at my feet during supper2.
Then Andy said, “I NEVER thought I would say THAT about YOU!”
Me, thinking: “WHY did he have to say that last line?”
However, we can now leave our dog and bunny alone together – unattended! Actually, our bunny gently (but manipulatively) nibbled at the dog’s toes once. Our dog is so sweet and good-natured that the bunny now terrifies the dog when she jumps around the house, asserting her dominance.
(I’m sure there’s some great marriage advice in there somewhere, but I’ll need some careful reflection time to extract it from this life situation. So I may require a lot of time for skiing, relaxing in the hot tub, etc., during this Christmas break. However stay tuned and expectantly anticipate more helpful relationship advice this coming year!)
Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
Do you sense the hope just over the horizon, too, friend?
I held my head in my hands, the non-physical pain consuming me, twisting my body to reflect my inner state. The mother placed the baby in my arms and spoke of WHEN I would take her home and envelop her in our family. This baby was the gift that came no less miraculously than a child that emerges, astonishingly, from one’s own womb.
(Spoiler Alert: Because you’re wrong! Three times!) You’re welcome! Good luck!
He was hilarious, the way he screwed up his lips and tried oh so carefully to hit the correct BASS and not TENOR note at the community harmony choir last night.
He had a neck tattoo and otherwise was a teensy bit “tough” or “scary looking.”
But he was singing his heart out about a snowflake in winter, and his concentration, bent over the songbook, made him oblivious to those around him, who were staring at him.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
And to be clear, when I say he was “scary looking,” I mean he was to OTHERS! I NEVER assume to know someone’s heart by their EXTERIORS! PLEASE!
However, the comedian we watched the previous night, Shayne Smith, also had neck tattoos and complained that people judged him because of this. “People always assume I was in a gang!” he ranted. Well, he WAS in a gang for a while, we learned later that night, but what was THE POINT?
For example, we once had some youth over for dinner. The youth looked at our wedding photograph taken twenty-five years ago and scratched their heads asking, “Who in the WORLD are those people in the photo?”
Obviously, it’s us!
Obviously, we look EXACTLY like we did back then! Everyone knows that! Or maybe everyone doesn’t know that.
People mislead themselves all day long . . . We dupe ourselves in order to deceive others, creating social advantage.1
And so you may not be EXACTLY who you think you are, either.
And if we’re wrong about others and even wrong about ourselves (I, at least, can admit to being wrong about myself ONCE, for example), maybe we’re wrong about God too.
Maybe God is not a mean ogre in the sky, waiting to zap you for your misdemeanors.
Maybe Jesus got off his throne in heaven and suffered pain and rejection on earth to have a shot at wooing you. Perhaps his body and his heart broke and are breaking for your return love of Him. Maybe every thought you have about God that is tied up neatly with a bow is wrong.
And so why give Jesus another chance this season?
Well, the answer to that question is obvious!
(1) You were wrong about others,
(2) You’re wrong about yourself,
THEREFORE
(3) You’re probably wrong about Jesus, too, if you’re honest!
The prayer that precedes all other prayer is, may the real me meet the real you
As the song below sings, “come to Me all you weary,” consider asking Jesus what you may believe about Him that isn’t, in fact, true. And may Holy Spirit help you to “lay down your head,” so He can “give you rest” as you “leave your cares,” this season, friend. God, help us to hear Your whispers of truth about ourselves, others and You, we pray.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Sometimes, we can use the experience of entering the Craft Fair to allow others to elevate us to such a lofty level that we can look down on the “Losers” in our category! And then we can feel better about ourselves! (In my case, there weren’t any “Losers” in one of my categories as I was the only contestant who entered that category3, but THAT didn’t stop ME from looking down on strangers who walked past me at the Craft Fair! I had a ribbon – TWO ribbons! “Did they?” I asked them silently with my eyes, as I puffed up my chest a bit to make sure my ribbons were on display.)
There are many ways to increase our fragile self-esteem by (humbly, of course!) looking down on others.
2.Refuse to listen when people “Judge” you at the Craft Fair or in life!
For example, I felt my blood pressure rise to the level my therapist says will kill me if I don’t learn a “Successful Coping Strategy” (Whatever that means). When I got home, I had a fit, which my poor daughter was around to witness, where I complained loudly about the Judges who are not fair to contestants like me! The reason I was so upset was that my competitor’s (i.e., the enemy’s) oatmeal cookie submission won second place.
However, my dessert won third place, simply because I didn’t add any sugar to my baking submission.
People who VALUE the fact that I didn’t dump cups of poison onto the food to satisfy judges with unreasonably sweet tastes (called a Bliss Point which varies by culture) WOULD have at least considered that FOR A DESSERT WITHOUT SUGAR, it was pretty good!
“Why do I let other people judge my dessert, my cookies, or my life?” I wondered in a frenzy of frustration.
Yes! Why do you? I sensed the Spirit of God confirm to my heart.
Why, child?
He was pleading with me.
And just like that, I was convicted of being a bit of a nutcase again. NOT a nutcase in that I am DIFFERENT from others, but a nutcase in that I am the SAME as others. Why, too, do you let others judge your cookies, or your life, friend?
To bring your car, ego and life into realignment, consider reading stuff like THIS.
And I hope that your nutcase-ness is exposed a little bit, too, so that God can gently remove a bit more of the cultural rot from your heart, too, friend!
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
1 Fall Craft Fair, actually, but I don’t want you to know that I forgot about this crumpled-up page of writing that I found in a crevice of my bag this week, because in the fall (of course!) I was too busy swimming in the local lake and now (of course!) it’s ski season AND I just bought a fat tire bike so I can ride on the snow! (Meaning I’m BUSY PEOPLE! PLEASE!)
3 Yes, I DID win SECOND place in a category had only ONE contestant (me) due to “Quality Concerns” or some nonsense like that! Whatever! Reread Point #2.
Why not feast since all that food is waiting for you, friend?
I will begin this article by briefly summarizing three key points from a previous article.
I’m doing this because this article isn’t quite long enough, so I’m repeating myself so that my articles are all about the same length, so I look like a professional online writer.
But I’m not supposed to tell you that because that is boring, but other stuff I say is boring too, and you still read that! (Perfect. This article is precisely the right length).
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Ahem . . .
In a previous article, I provided three reasons to suggest that we may be consuming spiritual cotton candy when we thought we were at a spiritual feast.
Three indicators that we may be consuming spiritual junk food are:
1. You’ve been to a church once and were decidedly underwhelmed.
2. You know a Christian, but that person, Ned Flanders, is challenging to be around for long. (I GET it!)1
So, where do we go to have the best chance of finding healthy spiritual food?
1. Ask where Holy Spirit is moving in your city. After they faint because you asked that question (C’mon! Shocking people is fun!), bring some popcorn and check out that church next week. Listen for God while you’re there.
2. Find a “real” Christian. How can you tell if someone is a “real” Christian? It is impossible to determine for sure.
Christian behavior can be put on like a mask… Spectators… will often break into applause. But there is no applause in heaven.…
If you don’t have spiritual teeth yet to enjoy chewing this food, don’t fret, but try drinking this milk instead. But don’t ask for milk the way my daughter did here. That isn’t nice.
Got time for a drink, friend? (No! NOT THAT kind of a drink!)
She was running, wiping her brow, sweat dripping as she ran.
(I didn’t say life was always pretty.)
She grabbed another drink of water from the paper cup held out to her and dropped half of it on her shirt as she gulped the rest, crumpling and then tossing the paper cup.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
“They’ll have to clean that up later,” she thought.
She could see another racer just ahead of her, and if she could ONLY go a little faster. She wondered if the other racer might sprain an ankle or fall, or . . . “Then I would be in luck!” she thought.
A crowd of racers surged past her in a blur, the rhythmic pounding of their shoes on the pavement the background noise to her thoughts.
When the crowd had passed, she stooped to pick up one of the paper cups, two. When had she become too busy to help clean up the mess she had trampled and even contributed to? Where was this race taking her?
Can’t you be satisfied to drink from the clear stream without muddying the water with your feet? Why do the rest of my sheep have to make do with grass that’s trampled down and water that’s been muddied?
She put her arm around the volunteer who had come to help those racers in need, the one who had noticed that she needed a more extended rest. She limped, her arm draped over the volunteer’s shoulders, to the aid station. They poked her with monitors and gave her a blanket to warm her and then left her alone.
It was time for me to rest, but how could I do that?
I needed to exit the race for a bit, to limp to the side and to check out my map. Just because everyone else was running in this direction, did that mean that I should too? What was the map of my heart saying?
I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me . . . I’ll . . . give you a long drink . . .
And then she drank and drank and drank. And roots grew from her feet, deep, deep roots so that she could take a drink more often as she ran the race of life. Water was always at her feet, if only she could remember to drink.
How about you?
And so, what can we do to endure life’s race and not only survive but thrive?
Wait. Simply being in His Presence will strengthen your soul as you learn to drink His living water.
Got time to put aside the race and the running and the keeping up and discover what your heart may be whispering?
As the song below sings, “there is a peace to settle your soul.” Consider asking Jesus which path to follow to take one step toward this peace. What hint do you sense in your soul? God, help us to hear your call (that our emotions sometimes chime) to stop, to reassess, and to drink, we pray.
You can learn that from me! You’re welcome! Good luck!
The worst, most terrible, awful part about parenting and homeschooling, is that God will want to transform your attitude, heart and motives and that STINKS!
I mean, think about it – you have always wanted to boss someone around, and now you have your little people to line up army style and pull rank on. YOU know what’s going on and YOU call the shots. You’ve been alive longer than they have, and so the world is in perfect order, thank you very much!
Then God steps in and messes everything up for you.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
At least that’s what happened to me every SINGLE DAY. Yeah, it stinks. For example, consider entitlement.
One day, I was looking down my nose in condemnation at my five-year-old because – WOW!- she wasn’t thankful!1
“How did she end up as such an unthankful little human?” I wondered with fear and trepidation. Would she be an unthankful little brat her entire life? THIS has got to be fixed!
I lectured her for half an hour on the benefits and joy of noticing the little things.
She looked at me blankly and continued to blame me for not buying her a third ice cream cone, stamping her little feet and yelling insults at me.
Yikes!
“What do I do now?” I wondered, finally looking up at God. “Can2 you please help me?”
And He did whisper to my heart that day as a gentle wind passed us.
And what He said was THE most annoying, infuriating and upsetting thing He could have mentioned to me right at that exact moment.
He seemed to whisper to my heart:
And how is your level of thankfulness, child?
His words were not harsh or condemning, but gentle, patient and full of the same kind of love I had for my daughter – I WANT her to find joy, and this is the path to it!
So it is for you, he seemed to remind me, turning the parent-child relationship on its head again.
How had I become the child again?
I wanted to be the parent, carefully explaining truths to my little mirrors of me.
And THAT was precisely the problem.
She WAS a mini-mirror of me on this issue.
Time for me to change.
Jesus held out his hand to me, and asked me to walk with him on this path towards a having a bit less gunk in my heart.
Would I follow?
Will you? He holds out his hand to you, too. Will you follow?
Yeah. I know. It STINKS to follow God sometimes because instead of changing THEM, He ends up changing US! I HATE THAT!
The song below is too humble for my taste. However, it contains some excellent thoughts about gratitude that are worth considering. As the song below plays, consider asking God how He may be a Shepherd to you, increasing joy through gratitude.
God, help us to figure out the (one or two places) where your plans for us are better than our ideas for how to run our lives, we pray.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
Photo Credit – Someone ELSE (NOT me!) Being Annoyed At God by Icons8 Team on Unsplash
1 It is worth noting that whenever my children demonstrate excellence in virtue, they naturally reflect the excellent teaching, values, and confidence that I instill as a homeschooling parent. But whenever they do something naughty (WHAT?!), of course, that is because they didn’t sleep well or their stomachs were upset, as explained perfectly clearly HERE. (Yes. That article is about my dog, but the SAME THING is true about my kids, OF COURSE!)
2 Notice the verb “Can” which of course makes Jesus laugh and slap his knee, wiping the tears a tear from his eye because he is laughing so hard. The answer “Yes. He CAN help!” A valuable truth to remember, one I often seem to forget. Jesus IS helpful!
Would you like a little psychotherapy with that fresh coat of paint?
I had never TRULY appreciated those old vintage cars, all fixed up, that are driven and maintained by older men on the edge of mid-life crises (and sometimes insanity).
Their world revolves disturbingly around these cars, and they attend old, restored car conferences every year to show off their efforts.
They distract themselves by talking about old cars to try to forget they are headed for the scrap heap soon, too, and they pretend that by restoring an old car, they COULD also restore themselves.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
At least that is what is happening beneath the surface for them. However, we may not see a ripple of these neuroses on the surface as they talk incessantly about missing parts and how to help give the exterior another fresh coat of paint to cover over some of the rust and warped frames. In other words, they are actually talking about themselves.
They don’t know it deep down, though there is sort of a hint, an inkling way down deep in their souls, which suggests this may be true.
They would never admit it. (That’s okay, actually. The truly wise know that sometimes, burying neuroses is not SUCH a bad strategy!)
As for me, I had never appreciated old, restored cars when I was young.
Now, I do for some reason that I can’t quite pinpoint.
I mean, the work!
And don’t you think those old cars are MUCH NICER LOOKING and therefore have MUCH MORE VALUE than those cheap imports? And SURE – the newer cars take a bit less work – but have MUCH LESS PERSONALITY?
I mean, I think so.
And so, what are the three hidden reasons why appreciating old cars helps us regain our sanity?
That’s easy:
Appreciating old cars (and dragonflies) awakens us to remember that God is outside of our time line for our lives.
As the song below sings, “Now is the time for restoration with repentance with transformation,” what do you sense God nudging in your heart? What old dream do you sense rising to the surface again? May you ponder your dreams in times of prayer with God, friend, and may He boldly guide your steps into your next season.
May you have exceeding joy as you drive your restored Corvette with the top down into this next season, friend.
I’ll wave to you as we pass each other!
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
“Who made this quilt?” our friend asked, on visiting our lake cabin and seeing such stunning beauty in this fish quilt that her eyes could no longer focus on anything else, including the picturesque beauty trying to capture her attention outside the window, the sun2 glimmering on the water of the lake.
Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!
I tried not to be offended at her incredulous astonishment, as if it was IMPOSSIBLE that I could produce something like this.
“Of course!” I tried to divert her embarrassing incredulity with more of my humbly low self-assessment.
She stuttered and spat in an effort to talk, unsure how to respond.
Which brings us to THE POINT of today’s newsletter.
I’m amazing.
I am ALSO self-assured enough to admit, however much this admission is a drop in the ocean of my grandiosity, a BIT to my perceived or actual faults. (What my therapist called, “Neuroses.” Whatever!)
So that day, a few months later3, I let the judgments of other people affect my actual or perceived self-esteem.
You see, some people think that I waste every day of my life. For example, homeschooling our kids has much less value in our society than it could, as mentioned HERE, where every person I met at the party after I began homeschooling my children desperately needed to speak to someone ELSE at the party. When I had a culturally successful career, people gathered around ME (!) at the party to hear my stories. I will vulnerably admit to not being perfect soon (I’M GETTING THERE, OKAY?), but I’m still building myself up first.
It’s a well-worn strategy that works for me.
That day, about a year ago, I had been visiting a new friend’s house, and it was repleef4 with beauty created by inhabitants of the house who love to make things. There were improvements everywhere we looked, which spoke to the talent and eye for beauty of both of these remarkable people. You know the type – They’re sooo annoying that they make us feel immature! I’m sure you can relate!
My editor says I have to be specific here, so imagine this:
handmade railings with wooden details that a machine could never create
bits of driftwood carefully crafted into various animals as décor on the table (Made by THEM – the jerks!)
beautifully handmade curtains (I made curtains once! Just saying)
gorgeous quilts reminiscent of nature scenes and other indescribable beauty adorning every wall
I found that my self-esteem had drastically plummeted after encountering this house.
“Why don’t I have quilts on every wall?” I wondered to myself.
My husband and I “do other stuff,” which is another way of saying we waste our time playing video games, and so our house doesn’t look quite as decorated with handmade beauty!
To add insult to injury, throughout the previous year and after this visit to the home, I continued to feel a nagging urge to write.
But at the end of every day of writing, I don’t have a beautiful new sculpture for my coffee table.
So, after I finished comparing myself to them and firmly grounded myself in a culture of competitively creating art (This is the culture that I personally value and gravitate towards), I was a lowly worm in the food pyramid of that worldview.
And so, how do we become amazing? We trust God and follow Him on the adventure He has for our lives. True, we may not be amazing according to how others (I.e., quilt culture) see us, but if God and our Mom like us, isn’t that what matters, friend?
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
As the song below sings “show me who I am and who I’m made to be”, consider asking God how you may have inadvertently aligned your perceived value with what our culture values. How does God see you, friend? And in what direction, even if it’s a bit off-center, is He asking you to travel?
God, help us all to have eyes for you alone, we pray.
You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever
Restoring Life 