We Can (Spiritually) Fly If We Find Our Ears (Do You Hear?)

She held her head in her hands.

Her heart pain rose up, up out of her chest and demanded expression in deep sobs. Jesus saw her. He stood by her side, his arms outstretched to offer love and guidance.

She didn’t notice Him.

In the prayer room that same week, Jesus communed with another woman, one of his dear ones. In the quiet, she was growing in hearing His voice. And then, prompted by Him later that week, she took a risk.

“Jesus sees the tears of the mother,” she whispered that day to the stranger, to the hurting woman. The stranger was the one who had been sobbing all alone. And in that busy place, at work, hearing the words from God, she burst into tears again.

The hurting woman could now sense Jesus was near. Jesus spoke His words through the mouth of one of His servants. Her words came from the heart of God and were received by another as a hug from Jesus.

The hurting friend relayed the story to me.

“I didn’t tell her anything about my daughter,” she gushed at me, astonished.

But heaven met earth that day. Light from beyond our sun, from the Son himself, streamed into the heart of one of His children and exited her mouth to wrap the hurting woman in a hug from Jesus. And a seed of faith was planted in the heart of that hurting woman that day.

And all heaven rejoiced.

Breakthrough happened in one more heart.

The unseen became visible, if only for a flash of a moment. Will this spark be fanned by the flame of the hurting woman making time for God, giving expressions to her reservations about church and the brokenness of His people? Will she push past the frustrations and find her way, in the quiet, to the place in her soul where Jesus speaks?

May she find her ears.

Will she pick them up, attach them and give them a listen?

They are lying there on the floor next to her. She may put them upside down or not quite in the right location initially. Will she re-attach them and try again tomorrow?

Will you?

Oh God! Open ears! Un blind eyes! Help us exchange our mud puddles of entertainment and distraction for the vast ocean of Your joy and presence! May Your Kingdom come! Help more and more of Your beautiful children, the ones You paid the ultimate price for on the cross, get out of their boxes and realize they have wings! Help them soar, Jesus, we pray.

(Is this post speaking to you?)

If so, take a risk. Consider laying down your pride and showing up at the church near you where Holy Spirit is moving. Or join us online as we learn to lay aside our distractions, pick up our ears, and learn to love to pray. And may you, too, friend, be set free.

Caveat: This isn’t a promise of a highway to an easy life. But we do have Someone to help us. And walking with Him leads to more life.

It’s worth it.

What is the next step on your spiritual journey? Do you have time to follow your clues? May you keep travelling, dear friend.

Is your next step a little scary?

Flying is worth the risk.

What Is The Best Way To Fight The Dragon, Nibbling Us?

Terrifying dragon breath

Steamy exhalation, drifting closer, nearer

I cringe back against the far edge of the cave

Trying to catch the life within my heart, fleeing

Closer, nearer, pungent aroma of steamy breath, foul stench of death surrounds me

“HALT!” I yell. “BACK DOWN!”

It cowers at my feet

My raised hand bears the silhouette of a dagger

In this eerie place

I light my torch

It’s blazing fire light comforts

And the dragon vanishes with the darkness

It lurks nearby, I know

Ready to draw nearer, to pounce

Should I forget, again, who I AM


It flies at me again

Like a mosquito

Irritating

Except it is the dragon

It will consume me if I let it

It seems to be only a minor irrigation

But it will leave me cowardly, a broken shrivelled residue of myself if I listen

To my thoughts

And so I pick up my sword

And I fight

Though I am already exhausted

And I win

Only when I remember

Who I AM


The Accuser of our brothers and sisters thrown out,
who accused them day and night before God . . .
So rejoice, O Heavens, and all who live there . . .

The Message

And so infused [by reading this], we’re again fearless, unimpressed by the bluster of the dragon.

Eugene Peterson, The Message Devotional Bible

God, may we no longer be blustered by accusations. May we remember who You are, and therefore remember who we are as heirs of the King. Please empty our head of the thoughts that do not align with how You think of us.

May we keep Your thoughts of us, Jesus, closer than the dragon’s.

As you listen to the song below, consider asking Holy Spirit, “How do You see me?”

Dancing In Life = Community Praying For Us (Ready, Yet, To Dance?)

My dog looked up at me quizzically.

I have been giving him treats for “staying” and lying down in one position for more than a minute or two.

One ear cocked to the side, yawning sometimes – the dog’s instinctual response to say, “I’m trying to understand you here!” – sometimes excitedly getting it.

But most of the time, he stares at me, wondering how to get more treats.

And this is a perfect example of what we are like as we come before God.

He has something to give to us. The analogy breaks down here because God doesn’t simply tempt us with crumbs but has the full banqueting table to offer. But you get the point.

My dog sometimes forgets about me and my rewards and lies down distractedly.

And then I give him a treat.

And doesn’t that happen to us too? We forget about God, go about our business, and then we hear His heart whispering. He offers us food when we least expect it.

Well done, God comforted me, excitedly offering me a food reward. Huh? “What the . . .” I had just woken up. In my heart, I looked up at God, my head cocked to the side, confused.

He comforted me in His love, in His presence.

What was I doing right? I stumbled to the coffee machine, trying to put the puzzle together. The machine brewed, and God poured delight into my heart as the coffee machine poured delight into my cup. I scratched my head, trying to figure out why God was pleased with me.

I listened to HIS cues.

I responded to HIS call to obey.

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.

The Message

He had been asking me to wake early, to write, to offer this page of food to you, dear reader.

And I obeyed.

That’s it.

Regardless of outcomes as defined by our culture, in God’s eyes, this writing is a success because it is motivated by obedience. Like a child with a crooked, smudged, stick-figure drawing, the parent is pleased with her art. God, the parent, is pleased with our crooked efforts at responding to His whispers.

And what you are seeing is the actor on the stage, the polished version of me for you to read about.

  1. God says write.
  2. I write.
  3. Applause.
  4. End of show.

But behind the scenes, there is chaos. An entire repertoire of people, those on lights and sound, and the director helped me look polished for you. They cried tears, remade the costumes, and helped me fit into my new identity.

I offer credit where credit is due:

1. Thank you to our friend who scared back the monsters intimidating me and offered me his hand. “Stand,” he said. And he prayed passionately that day in our kitchen, “She is about the King’s business!” he declared.

And I believed him. And I exchanged another piece of my old heart, the one linked to how people judge my life, for a princess robe. And I danced in joy.

And You danced with me, Jesus. Keep dancing, you whispered. Keep following Me where I lead child, regardless of what they say.

And I’m still dancing.

2. Thank you to my husband, the giant man. When I was in the metaphorical hide out, the place I shouldn’t have been, God led him to find me. He ducked to half his height to enter the place that held me captive.

When he entered, the evil shapes fled. He is not scared of the same things I am. His lack of fear terrifies them.

“Come, friend,” he offered, holding out his hand. “Don’t be afraid.” And he held me in his arms and comforted me as I wept. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

And there wasn’t. Because he regularly prays I will dance in freedom, in that grassy place. And so I do.

3. And I say thank you to so many of my friends. You prayed for me. And you told me what you thought God was saying to me, though you didn’t always understand.

And I took those pieces, precious as each one was, and I thought and considered and prayed and placed them into the puzzle of my life. Thank you. I honor you.

4.And I thank you for the eagle you sent, Jesus, who swooped down and woke me and fed me. “Get up.” She nudged me, and I rolled over, trying to go back to sleep.

But she was persistent, unphased by my life’s lack of spiritual success.“Try this food,” she suggested. I tossed that aside, too. I wasn’t used to the taste.

She tried milk, and I drank it with relish. I was thirsty. Later on, my stomach could hold a bite or two of meat. I was growing up.

“How is your time of worship?” she asked me again, and again, and again. Finally, I could answer her to say that I am learning to abide more frequently in Your presence. And the next time I danced, I held the sceptre you gave me, Holy Spirit.

And so thank you, Jesus, for the many, many actors behind the scenes of our lives.

Thank you for those who pray for us.

Join us in prayer?

Is God Calling You To Read This?

And so, why am I writing this blog?

I am writing this blog for you. This blog is a gift from the Father to you through me. And by you, I don’t mean you, necessarily.

You will know who you are – the you I am writing this blog for.

Is it you?

Or maybe you don’t yet know if you are you as you read a few lines and move on to something else.

But for YOU – there is something here that you need. So I write for you. Except that I don’t know anything about you – your tastes, hobbies, needs, or soul yearnings.

But God asked me to write. And so I write. I write for you.

I write because He whispered in my ear. I could almost sense Him one day in the library, excited. He wanted to show me something. I looked blankly at the wall of books.

He seemed to be saying that He wanted the voice of His children to create books for these shelves.

I believe He wants to flood the earth with books about His Kingdom written by His people.

He was planting a seed in me, showing me His heart, opening a bit of heaven’s storehouses to see a tiny glimpse of the treasures He wants to give us if only we can lift our eyes to see.

Write, He seemed to be saying.

But like Moses, I protest.

The soil of my heart where God so gently planted a seed is dry. The seed cannot penetrate the earth.

I tell no one what He has been saying. The soil is too hard.

But God brings the rain.

At the women’s breakfast with our church, she prays for me. “I don’t know what this means,” she begins, “but I feel like God is giving you a pen. And the ink is the Holy Spirit. As you write, the ink of Holy Spirit will guide you.”

And I weep and weep because her words touch the deepest layer of my heart, the part with the ear that only You have whispered to.

Can it be true?

Have I correctly been hearing from You? It took one of your beloveds to dig into the soil, turn it over afresh, and whisper into my ear confirmation of what Holy Spirit had already been saying. Write.

And so I write.

And if you are the one I am writing for, welcome. It is good to meet you. May these words feed your soul. For they came from the Father and pass, garbled, through my hands. I apologize for mixing up the words, ignoring what I should have written, and writing something else instead. For erasing what should have been left and for the messiness of this page.

But may you, even through the dirty, ripped page, be encouraged somehow.

For that is His way.

My heart is to obey in joy. May a few of these words encourage you, dear friend. And may you also, one day, hear more clearly what He is saying to you, so He can bless others, through you, with His voice, as well, garbled and mixed up, as we may understand it with our broken ears and our broken desires.

We endeavour to speak to the world what we think He may be saying. May many seeds from the dirt that we throw earnestly to the wind land on soil already moistened by Holy Spirit

For that is His way.

God said [to Moses,] My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to it’s end.

The Message

God, help us to plant the seeds of Your voice whispering to our hearts. Help us to scatter seeds afar of the life that has unfolded because we chose to walk with You.

And God, bring the rain, we pray. For this is the only way life can arise from the dust of our lives.

Consider asking God, what is one step I can take today to align my life to Your vision of who I am as I learn to walk more closely by your side?

The Dark Abyss Is Where Joy Can Be Found

This is the hand that reached way, way down, clasped my own and lifted me up, up out of my self-induced pit.

It was a hand connected to a person who gave me a hug and a pat on the back. He told me He was pleased with me.

And then He asked me to go back to the trenches, back to where I was.

Why? Just because we are at war doesn’t mean our role is to give up the fight.

He put a slip of paper in my hand before he held out the rope to lower, lower me back down the pit, back down to the kids with their swirling needs and to a dog with multiple dietary discomforts.

When I returned to the couch and to the kids and the dog that day, I held the folded slip of paper He had given me in my hand.

I opened it carefully and somehow the room quieted in my soul, even through the sharp noises of bickering kids and an excited dog.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.

The Message

The words seemed to dissipate the storm cloud over my head. Was that sunlight breaking through? I looked up.

“Can you help me up off the couch?” I asked, looking up at Him. And He did.

And He tied my favorite shoes on my feet, the ones I thought I had lost. The shoes meant for dancing.

I already had my apron on, the one that I wear when I work.

And His gaze pointed to the next job, one that we would do together, Him at my side, the arm I held onto for balance.

And then, after the kids and I cleaned up a bit, and I cleaned myself up a bit, our homeschooling family read a book together on the couch.

The book I love that I longed to introduce to my children.

When she was hardly more than a girl, Miss Minnie had gone away to a teacher’s college and prepared herself to teach by learning many cunning methods that she never afterward used. For Miss Minnie loved children and she loved books, and she taught merely by introducing the one to the other.

That Distant Land by Wendell Berry

And then we did some math.

And when the kids were tucked into bed that night, after dreaming longingly of martinis for a while, I poured out my heart to God.

And He got a big red pen, the one that I use on my kids to edit their writing, and He edited my life.

This has got to go. This too. And this.

He gave me one or two things to focus on this season, one for each child and one for me.

And it got a little easier.

I was the one who needed to change, to tweak our homeschooling life so that joy could erupt through the cracks of the brokenness of our lives a little more often.

Thank you, God, for the hard times.

For only then am I broken and quiet enough for You to usher in my transformation.

Consider asking God what wounds He wants you to lift to Him so He can remove the bandaid to allow light to shine through the scar, blinding others so they too, may seek their healing.

Anyone Else Want To Dance In February Instead Of Sit In Despair?

As mentioned last time, my head was in my hands, a cloud of despair surrounding me, weighing me down.

Regardless of how I was feeling, I had to make a choice. Do I take another fun pill, declare another ski day, to distract from this swirling pit beneath me, my life, that threatened to consume me?

Or did I put on my work pants, and get busy constructing a new life for myself and for my homeschooling family, one that we would have the strength to complete all the way from September to June?

And you? Is anyone else feeling the February pull into that familiar black hole of despair?

How do we dance in joy through the dark month of winter?

1. We lift our despair, scoop as much as we can in our hands, and we lift this offering to God.

2. We listen. We reattach our ears. We practice the habits that are the glue helping our ears to stay stuck.

3. We tell others in our trusted community what we think the spirit of God is whispering. The sounds are muffled and garbled, and the sound waves pass through our hearts mixed with wrong motives, so we have trouble understanding.

4. We look for our dancing shoes. Where are they again? Where are those dreams? Where did we last leave them? Who did God say I am, again?

5. We gingerly take His hand and step onto the dance floor of our lives. He is in the lead, not us. Will we humbly let him lead our lives? Will we give up our right to drive our own car and our accompanying future car wrecks to learn how to dance?

The choice is yours. The choice is mine.

Come on, friend! The adventure of a lifetime awaits us! Get up off that couch!

God, all of us long for a good father who holds out a hand to help us up when we fall. The one who has everything we need to open the right door of opportunity for our future lives.

You are that Father.

Open our eyes to see this.

May we trust You more deeply. Help us get off the couch to escape from the lies we believe about ourselves and our lives.

You alone offer us genuine hope for our futures.

May we have the courage to step onto the dance floor with You.

Teach us to dance.


As you meditate on the words below and listen to the song below, take deep breaths and practice quieting your heart before God.

You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I’m about to burst with song;
I can’t keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can’t thank you enough.

The Message

Cry out to Him. What gift do you imagine He is giving you?

Quiet your heart again, and then ask God how He sees you. What do you feel? What does your mind imagine?

Is it time to look for some dancing shoes?

Every Homeschooling Parent Will Be Ready To Wave Goodbye To Their Teen

I’m mad at you! At all of you with a child more than 17 years old who left home! I hate you all! Why didn’t you tell me it would be this hard to say goodbye when they left for college!?

And all of you with babies too, babies that are older than my oldest baby, I hate you all too! Before we had babies, why didn’t you tell us that looking after babies would be so hard!?

Ah, yes . . .

It is because we wouldn’t have believed you even if you would have spoken up.

And if our teens truly understood the depth of our loss, many of these kids wouldn’t leave home. They are good kids. I relayed these thoughts to my husband, processing them aloud through my tears.

“And we want them to leave,” I cried out. “Yes, we do,” my husband comforted. Then he shoots me a sideways, knowing look. I remembered that this morning our teen was definitely right when she was definitely wrong and instead of bursting into tears, I burst into laughter.

I feel some joy mixed with some sorrow.

And so, “Goodbye!” we say as we wave. Except it’s not kindergarten they are heading off to on a bus. We homeschooled so we missed that milestone. It’s 600 km away and the tearing, the necessary, painful cleaving continues.

Reflecting God’s nature He created them male and female. . . Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother . . . The Message

I told you it would be that way, Jesus reminds me softly. Many years earlier, in prayer, Jesus showed me a picture of my daughters, one after the other, ready to board a plane, to soar off on their journeys of independence. He was preparing my heart to say goodbye many years ago, even then.

Many of us homeschooling parents pushed the love boundary of our hearts a little further than expected when we cracked open those brand new math texts on day one of homeschooling.

The depth of love surprises us all, and surpasses the boundary markers we set up to protect ourselves.

If we love what we know, then we will get to know these kids and our love for them will transform us, them. Love always does.

I’m not saying that homeschooling is one domino after the other of perfect days. I have homeschooled for 4,745 days (I’m convinced you don’t have enough math skills to figure out how many years I have spent homeschooling- Who does?). Out of all those days, I have NEVER yet had one perfect day.

Nope. Not one.

Just daily joy mixed with daily sorrow.

Master storyteller J.R.R. Tolkien explains it this way:

The possibility of [sorrow and failure] is necessary to the joy of deliverance . . . giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

And so saying goodbye to the teen as she flies off to college is just another homeschooling day: some joy mixed with some sorrow. We are used to that. We’ve gotten stronger over the years. It’s just another part of the daily homeschooling rhythm.

We will be ready because we have been practicing every day for this: some joy and some sorrow, repeat tomorrow.

We’re going to be OK.

And so as we watch them soar, we nurse our grief a little, and then flap our baby wings and listen for the call from Him into a new adventure.

And in the same way that we invest in our future by putting aside a few dollars each month, is He asking us to invest in our spiritual future by putting aside a few minutes each day to listen to Him calling us, comforting us, asking us to set aside the old, and to pick up the new?

How is he calling you to wake up?

Where to next God?

I can’t quite fly yet but I am sensing another adventure.

Yes, I’ll follow!

(How about you?)