culture

The Best Way To Be Less of A Jerk? Pretend To Be Someone Else!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I found myself still in pajamas, curlers in my straight hair, yelling at my homeschooled kids to get up, get dressed, and get to their work!

The only problem was that I hadn’t done any of those things yet.

They pointed out my inconsistencies and went back to playing Nintendo, their little pajamaed butts mocking me as they lay on their stomachs, resuming their play.

Why did I bother teaching my kids logic, I wondered, wearily. Now their reasoning skills match mine.

I needed a bigger bullet to fight in this homeschooling war.

I scoured books, and homeschooling journals, and cried with my fellow homeschooled moms, all of whom were also still in their pyjamas. They could relate with empathy.

The best military strategy I found was to:

1) Get up early,

2) Get dressed, and

3) Put on lipstick, a nice scarf, and a smile.

In other words, I was pretending to be someone else.

By default, I had been acting like Mrs. Name-changed, the Grade 1 teacher I didn’t like. Mrs Name-changed always forgot to wear deodorant and to mark our assignments. She was always in a bad mood.

Then I remembered my favorite Grade 3 teacher, Mrs. Chamberlain. She looked nice every day and had a sweet smile.

If Mrs Chamberlain had some characteristics that I wanted to emulate, then I needed to choose those same characteristics until those traits became a part of my identity too.

The question is:

Who Are We Becoming?

I chose Mrs. Chamberlain.

And it worked!

My kids’ logic that “I wasn’t doing it either” was finally cancelled, and they reluctantly put Nintendo away, meandering to their rooms to find their (non-pajama) clothes, unused these past 3 months, since homeschooling started this fall.

And what is the lesson, here, I wondered, as I sipped martinis by the pool later that afternoon, ringing a small bell to usher them onto their next subject?

The lesson is best summarized in a popular TED talk by Psychologist Amy Cuddy. She said our BODIES change our MINDS (our thoughts and feelings). Therefore, we can:

“Fake it until you BECOME it. Do it enough until you actually BECOME it, and internalize it.”

Amy Cuddy

The lesson is, WHO ARE YOU?

But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.

The Message

When we understand who we are, we have a shot at becoming aligned with who God created us to be.

Time to switch off the iPads, stop scrolling through Amazon for more stuff to fill the void inside, and dig out the royal clothes that are in the very back of your closet, the ones God gave you so long ago, that you forgot they were even there.

Then:

1) Let’s get up early and rest in who God made us to be instead of running in frenzied circles like everyone else.

2) Let’s put on our royal robes as children of the King, our true identity.

3) Let’s gaze at the One who gives us His identity as we align our lives with what He is whispering to the deepest recesses of our hearts.

So let’s step into the truth of who we really are, the ones Jesus died for, and the ones who have found our identity, which is those who abide with Him. And this identity is enough.

As the music below plays, consider asking God, “How do You see me?”

How To Get God to Like You

/ Lori Lawe / 1 Comment

He looked at me intently, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you think I am going to hell?”

His question was honest, open, curious. This wasn’t a loaded question, as if he had a pile of ready-made snowballs next to him, ready to fire, whatever the response.

He just wanted to know what I thought.

Our mutual friend jumped between us, trying to get his attention. His eyes remained fixed in my direction while she spoke.

She confidently asserted her opinion.

He was half listening, and when she finished, he re-directed his question, quietly, back in my direction.

“But what do you think?”

“I think that God considers the revelation that we have received, compared to the revelation that we currently hold.”

His eyebrows furrowed further.

Let me explain.

Some of us have received more revelation, truth, or light -we’ll use the term revelation – of God than others. The child of the pastor for example, who has been raised in an atmosphere of grace and forgiveness will have more revelation than the child who was tossed aside by his parents for another cocaine hit.

However, if that same child who was born into a Christian family had parents who secretly abused him emotionally, spiritually, or physically, that child might have even less revelation than the child of the cocaine addict.

So this revelation is not something that we can see or measure in others. Only God knows the amount of true revelation that each one has received in our lifetimes.

And- how much of this revelation that we have received, are we still carrying? This is the second question that is equally important.

Have we held this revelation like water held in a hand with fingers spread apart? Has the revelation dripped away? Did we toss aside what we have received, including the spiritual encounters of others that we have heard about?

Or have we treasured in our hearts, like Mary the mother of Jesus, the wondrous revelation that we have received?

Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself.

The Message

We are not to sit on our revelation from God like a bird, sitting on a clutch of eggs, waiting for a God moment to hatch. We are to hold up each egg, talk about it with others, and examine it in the light.

Is this egg, this revelation, a rotten egg? Is this an experience true to the person of Jesus, or did another spew the words of Jesus while manipulating me for their own advantage?

And then, the biggest test of all, can we try a bite of the egg? We risk. We read a book. We go to breakfast at the church with a friend who seems genuine in her faith. We ask a question, openly, honestly, and genuinely curious about the other’s response, like my friend did.

What did the food taste like at the church breakfast? Do we feel sick after eating it? Maybe that egg was rotten.

But the point is, that we DID something. We went out on a limb and took a risk to discover truth about the revelation that we have received.

What is the next step in your spiritual journey? Is it time to stop sitting and start tasting?

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see – how good God is.

The Message

Oh, and if you taste and see, and are walking, in your abilities, in faithfulness, along the journey that God has given to you, following the clues as they come, then yes, you can be confidently assured that God likes you.

And I like you too.

And if we like you, why wouldn’t you like yourself?

This post is part of our Say-It-Again On Friday series, where we say it again, on Fridays!

Let’s Rise Above The Christmas Shopping Frenzy To Like Ourselves Even More

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

It was like he pushed his boot through the book he wrote, the one I was reading, and kicked me in the rear. Ouch!

“What did you do that for?” I asked the book accusingly.

I had been sitting poolside, enjoying my martini as usual, when this incident occurred.

Let me explain. Ahem . . .

In the book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer he spoke of learning only recently about the extent and horror of modern-day slavery.

Yeah, I watched the movie Amazing Grace, recounting the true life story of John Newton, a slave ship owner turned religious covert, turned major influence on the abolitionist movement. I yawned, turning the page. I know about all that slavery stuff.

The next page mentioned enormous slave ships in Bangladesh and Vietnam right now. This was ringing a vague bell in the back of my mind somewhere. I sat up a little.

We all know something about modern day slavery but how curious had I allowed myself to become?

I had heard someone talk about this stuff. But when? And who? And the details?

It was a bit fuzzy.

I took another sip of my pina colada, did some research on my own, and then continued reading my book.

A few years years ago, I was shocked and deeply disturbed when I learned about the dark underbelly of globalization. I had no clue that a huge chunk of items in my home were made unjustly, if not with full on human trafficking and child labor.

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry – John Mark Comer

I slammed the book shut angrily. “You know, I’d rather just not know!” I yelled at the book, closed at my feet. The others lounging at the pool looked at me curiously.

I continued the rest of the conversation in my own brain, which is a much saner way to get mad at someone who doesn’t know you exist.

“And what am I supposed to do anyway?” I yelled at him accusingly. “I live in Canada, thousands of miles away! Am I going to row my oar boat to Burma and tell all those scary guys with guns to let their thousands of enslaved people go, the ones that bring them piles of cash every day?”

No.

So I readjust myself in my lounge chair again and pour myself a Bloody Mary. Time for a more mindless book. Time to relax. Maybe I should spend time browsing Amazon for cute shoes to get my mind off things.

But when I had emptied that drink and purchased a pile of cute heels in various shades of pink, I picked up the book “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” again.

I’m Type A, and if I don’t get a checkmark beside “read X book,” then my self-esteem may plummet to who knows where.

I refilled my drink with a more potent brew, black coffee this time, and sat up a bit, ready to defend myself against an unexpected blow of the author’s hand smashing through the book.

. . . I realized a different outfit every day was kind of ridiculous. I was also made aware of the injustice of the fashion industry, which made buying new clothes a total pain in the neck. So I cut it in half and went down to three outfits per season… I love each outfit. They were . . . ethically made and environmentally sourced and for the first time I can ever remember, I have extra money in my clothing budget . . .

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry – John Mark Comer

Another bell was ringing somewhere. I, too, love to buy items that I know are ethically produced.

I almost only buy jewellery at 10,000 Villages or stores with a similar ethic. And check out the stuff I bought recently!* Beads are made from recycled Saris and support women artisans in India.

My favorite clothing store, besides Value Village, is Blue Sky, a fair-trade company.

But I also buy other stuff.

After reading about John Mark Comer’s choices, I felt like wearing a Blue Sky outfit the next day. Blue Sky from head to toe.

And I felt better about myself, more whole, more aligned to the values that God envelopes me with when He pours out His love on me.

I felt more like a bar of Christmas chocolate (because who doesn’t sometimes compare themselves to chocolate?) that is SOLID chocolate all the way through.

Biting into the kind of Christmas chocolate that is only a chocolate shell, that is hollow, is not quite as satisfying.

Maybe I want to buy people more SOLID chocolate bars this Christmas, more often, the kind that has the same taste all the way from beginning to end.

This feels symbolic of something important, something that makes me like myself even more.

Blogpost Footnotes

*I’m wearing clothes from Blue Sky in this photo. (Yes! I know you don’t care but I always wanted to be the kind of person who had to put a footnote telling others what kind of clothes I’m wearing in photos so I can feel important. Don’t shatter my illusions of grandeur!)

God Is Wrong But Do You Think He’s Still Smarter Than Us?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

I want to be clear that I really don’t think God knows what he’s doing with this one annoying habit of his of letting everyone use His name and therefore call themselves a Christian. (I.e. Christian comes from the word Christ, as in followers of Jesus Christ.)

Look, I wish that all the Christians looked like Olivia Newton-John, and John Travolta, too. But they don’t. At least they could all look like Bill Gates, and maybe not be super handsome, but have an intellectual coolness in their back pocket.

Look, just so it’s clear, if I was vetting admittance to the Jesus team, I’d have admittance cards. All human-made groups have this if we’re honest. Think of the Rotary club, certain brands of cars, pretentious golf clubs, fancy timeshare opportunities, etc. Now that’s identifying with sophistication!*

But Jesus went and had the audacity of getting buddy-buddy with the biggest losers of his culture and calling them his friends.

In fact, on reflection, this may be good news for me, because I probably wouldn’t have been let into the Christian club by my own standards. I wobble so much in 6-inch heels that whoever is deciding whether I should be in the club or not would be sure to spot an imposter.

And I definitely have not accumulated enough “cultural cool points” in my lifetime to justify admittance to the Jesus team by my own qualifiers.

Maybe it’s best that God has things his own way come to think of it.

Which brings me to my next point: We can relax! Our stomach fat can hang out, we can wear our tattered, comfiest, sweatpants, or a pink one-piece jumper. (My article of clothing of choice if I’m honest. If cultural fashion trends ever sway close to that style, please advise so I can quickly find one).

Whew! The “They can be them” curse is the other side of the coin of the “I can be me” freedom.

The biggest thing I want to say is:

STOP defining Christians by the people in His club

They’re losers! Jesus is the only one who is cool.

Still, if you find someone who looks like Olivia Newton-John, talks like Tim Keller, and loves like Mother Theresa, that’s my personal vote for a Christian mascot.

Paste her image everywhere! “Don’t you want to be in her group?” the advertising signs could read. Too bad she’ll disappoint FOR SURE too.

we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us

The Message

No, we better just stick with Jesus as the one we want to identify with, come to think of it.

Maybe God IS smarter than me?

Blogpost Footnotes
*No, I don’t belong to any of those types of groups. Why do you ask?

Does Your Spiritual Food Taste Rotten? (Healthy Habits Post 6)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Of course, who doesn’t LOVE to tuck into that holiday feast and eat so much we can barely move? We sit on the couch, our stomachs in pain, contentment bringing a smile to our faces.

(Yes, I will soon be publishing an apparently contrasting post called “You LOVE To Breathe Only Air Instead Of Eating That Tempting Turkey Dinner- Admit It!” but let’s face it, no one knows WHAT is true on the internet anymore!).

Ahem . . . As I was saying . . .

In a previous post, I proved definitively that you LOVE to eat green food AND you LOVE to be nourished with healthy spiritual food.

But we actually eat popsicles, cotton candy, and fast food burgers more often than we should.

Similarly, we’ve tasted the equivalent of spiritual cotton candy and we sometimes assume that we’ve attended a spiritual feast

“That food gives me a stomachache, heartburn, and nausea,” you conclude after a trip to church in Grade 5. “That food doesn’t nourish me”

And you’re right. It doesn’t. The problem is many of you never tasted, proper, nourishing, spiritual food. The kind you eat with relish and that leaves you on the couch in pain but with a delighted smile of contentment.

(There will be pain too at this spiritual feast because God will bring to the surface those unhealthy desires in your body that are poking you like cocaine needles. His operation, like any operation, hurts. But along with the pain comes contentment, which also makes us smile . . . eventually.)

Proof you may have been eating spiritual cotton candy when you thought you were at the full feast include the following:

  1. You’ve been to church. Most churches are empty shells. They are the plates that the food comes in. You have your fork and knife and you’re ready to eat but no food is there. They forgot to invite God to the party. They forgot to invite God to church every Sunday. So just because you’ve been to church doesn’t NECESSARILY mean you’ve been to a spiritual feast and tasted the food.
  2. You know a Christian. Your neighbour down the street, Ned Flanders (Me!), your coworker, your distant or near relative, your friend, or whoever, who calls themselves a Christian may or may not be a Christian. Sorry for the shock. When I was at Bible college, a mentor suggested that out of those who call themselves Christians, possibly only 2% are true Christians, learning to abide with Holy Spirit. So just because you know a Christian, doesn’t mean you’ve enjoyed the main course of a spiritual feast NECESSARILY.
  3. You’ve noticed Church is for losers. Yep. That’s true. In a previous post, I describe how you shouldn’t let the losers be a barrier to you reaching God. (The truth is that you’re a loser too, but you may be too spiritually blind to realize that yet. It’s OK! They have to love you!) That’s actually the coolest part about Church! You’re accepted exactly as you are, a loser among losers.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

The Message

The best places to begin the hunt to increase our chances of finding healthy spiritual food will be discussed in a future post.

After we celebrate my birthday.

(My blog’s birthday, I mean.)

Of course!

Anyone Else Find Some Parts Of Halloween Disgusting? Let’s Steal Halloween! (Shhhh…)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Yes, I did design a blog post around this picture.

This is my dog.

I had to find a way to get this picture in front of your eyes. We can end this post now. Some things are just worth 20 bucks including this dog Superman costume.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, I told you all to leave now.

But…

Since you obviously have nothing better to do, I will tell you my thoughts on why we should take over Halloween! We should all host a “Pentecost-Halloween Party”.

Now before all of you go to Wiki to look up a term I will spare you that hassle. Yes, Pentecost has something to do with God.

And yes, Halloween, at least now in our culture, has a lot more to do with the religion of Satanism (I said the word that must not be said in our culture! Satanism! Satanism is a religion! Open your eyes, people!)

For those of you rubbing your eyes trying not to go to sleep as this post irritatingly blasts its contents into your ears, the point I’m trying to make is that Halloween and Pentecost don’t go together very well on their own terms.

Here’s my logic for hosting a “Pentecost Party” on October 31:

  • December 25, what we now celebrate as Christmas, used to be an important pagan celebration, the birthday of the sun.
  • The Christians got together and (essentially) said, “Hey! We don’t like that a pagan holiday is the most important celebration in our culture! Let’s pretend that Jesus was born on December 25, even though he wasn’t, and we’ll slowly steal the focus away from these weird pagan rituals (killing cats etc). towards baby Jesus as a hope for the world.”

They will name [Jesus] Immanuel (Hebrew for “God is with us”)

The Message
  • And like many crazy ideas it worked!

Now, let’s not get technical in calling Christmas a purely spiritual holiday because I know that buying a lot of presents and then returning them the following week when your relatives aren’t looking isn’t exactly the pinnacle of Christian high culture.

Some Christmas carols, however, are essentially hymns, and many of these songs are the pinnacle of high Christian culture, even if our hearts need a little stirring to unblind our eyes to this reality.

The point is, that Christmas still has a holy essence to it if you know where to look, shining your flashlight into the darkest corners of our holiday culture.

So my rationale is let’s do this for Halloween!

Halloween is now the weird Satanic holiday. (I.e., killing cats and pretending that other fearful or gross things are actually funny! They’re not, by the way.)

So sure, the liturgical calendar may be out of order a bit, but let’s change the date of Pentecost to coincide with Halloween for the same reason the early Christians changed the date of Jesus’ birth to coincide with the birthday of the sun.

Pentecost was the day that Holy Spirit breathed on the disciples. This was the day when a bunch of his cowardly followers changed into bold outspoken preachers for Jesus Christ, most of whom were eventually murdered for their beliefs.

So that’s why my dog got a new costume.

And that’s why I asked some homeschooled kids (because let’s face it, homeschooled kids are a part of the hope for our society) to join us for a Pentecost dress-up party coincidentally on the day we used to call Halloween.

Go on! Have your own Pentecost Party on October 31! Have more fun than them! Then invite them to your party!

Three ways to take over Halloween at your Pentecost Party on October 31:

  1. Carve pumpkins because – well, it’s fun. Why wouldn’t we? Carve crosses into the pumpkins. This was my daughter’s idea. Let the candle inside shine it’s light through the cross of Jesus Christ and remind us that His kingdom is hope for our culture.
  2. Have you seen those dog dress-up costumes that look like a monkey riding on the back of your dog? If you find one, can you please send it to me? Thanks. Oh yeah, point number to dress up! Why not? It’s fun!
  3. Remind each other that a few loser fishermen (have you ever noticed what the disciples were like before Jesus was resurrected?) by the power of Holy Spirit, ushered in The Message that altered the course of our world.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead

What are you waiting for?

Go eat some candy and change culture!

Bond With Your Homeschooled Child By Teaching Her To Swear!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Today I thought I’d teach you how to bond with your homeschooled kid by swearing at him!

This is a real-world example from my own life. 

The weirdest stuff in life is true so that’s how you can be assured I am telling the truth today.

So one day, I found my 12-year-old looking downcast, despondent. 

“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked.

“Well, Mom, I’m 12 years old and I don’t know any swear words!”

“Oh, hon! I’m so sorry to hear that!” I said, reaching down to hug her.

“Tell you what,” I continued. “Do you want me to teach you some swear words?”

“Oh, would you?” Her eyes filled with admiration for me and the wonderful real-life wisdom I possessed. She hugged me, unable to contain her emotions. Kids DO want to learn what parents have to teach them! These homeschooling moments are precious!

All that week we planned the best time to have our special mother-daughter date so I could impart my wisdom to her. 

Finally, the magical day arrived. We skipped math that morning so we’d have ample time to connect through profanity (Another important benefit of homeschooling). We walked on the beach so the ambiance would be just right, and so we’d remember this special mother-daughter homeschool bonding time.

“So what is one of the swear words?” she impatiently asked.

I found myself spelling out the F-word for her.

She sounded it out in her mind and then said aloud, “FOO-ka?” “Close enough,” I answered. 

I’m not sure how she muddled through junior high with friends from all sides of the innocence-experience continuum. 

And she may have had a few more black eyes from friends who didn’t think she was cool enough that year, come to think of it, but she got to the other side.

And what a wonderful homeschool bonding experience we enjoyed!

And now, you too, can enjoy this special bonding experience with your homeschooled child! Here’s how: 

  1. Don’t swear for at least a decade. Yes! I know this is impossible, which is why I included Point #2! Be patient! I can’t share all my wisdom at once!
  2. If you do swear (i.e., You can ignore Point # 1 now. You’re welcome), swear with tricks up your sleeve so you have the advantage*. For example, in our home, it’s not that we didn’t say any swear words for 12 years. It’s just how you swear that matters. If you swear, quickly distract them with a random question about cupcakes as in, “Do you want a cupcake now?” And they won’t even remember the swear word!
  3. Recognize the limitations of this approach. One problem with this approach is that they suddenly figure out you swear a LOT once you teach them what the bad words are. Oh well, I guess we have to prepare these homeschooled kids for real life!
  4. Watch them soar! And now that they know how to swear like the other kids, the world is their oyster!
  5. Forgive yourself for swearing and for other ways you may have accidentally messed up your kids! 

Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

The Message

Translation: This ancient text basically says that God already knows you’re a dork!

And since God already knows you’re a bit pathetic most of the time, you can relax and have some fun with your kids!

Blogpost Footnotes

*Bonus parenting wisdom: Check out magician and master of trickery David Copperfield for additional excellent tricks that can be applied with surprisingly little variation to parenting!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

How To LOVE Practicing The Healthy Habits You Currently Hate! (Healthy Habits Part 1)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Last time I discussed Ten Keystone Habits that allowed me to stay within my recommended weight range my entire life.

I know, I know. At first glance, these habits seem hard, terrible, uninviting. These habits, if you actually did them all, would kill you, you assume.

To prove you wrong (and why else would we write?) I will be starting a series of blog posts on healthy habits.

These posts will outline how you too, can learn to LOVE practicing healthy habits OR how to at least delude yourself into thinking you enjoy healthy habits. What’s the difference?

First of all, it’s good to know yourself and understand what motivates you. I’m actually the kind of person, for example, who hates it when people tell me what to do.

I figured this out one afternoon when I was frothing at the mouth and making myself some tea. “How DARE they tell me when to drink this tea?”, I thought, fuming. “I’ll drink it in the afternoon instead, just to spite them!” The tea was called English BREAKFAST tea. BREAKFAST.

I guess you’re supposed to drink it at BREAKFAST. How dare they!

Ok, so I know I should probably get counselling about this. And I do get counselling but my hard-working counsellor hasn’t gotten this far down the list of priority items that I need remediation for yet.

I know I could have been, actually a lot more successful in life if I had taken people’s advice a little more easily. You can check out my daughter’s blog for that. For example, in this post, she mentions some stuff she learned from me. I’m sure she’ll go far.

Anyway, we are what we are.

Therefore, none of these Ten Keystone Habits are things you CAN’T do. If I had habits that forced me to NOT do certain things, I’d rather not live, okay?!

This blog post series will describe how to ENJOY the healthy habits that help us maintain a healthy weight, and allow us to have more energy to complete the calling God has for each of our lives. (This stuff matters more than we realize).

For example, check out this ancient quote:

Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I’ve warned you of them many times; sadly, I’m having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ’s Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

The Message

What more can be said than that?

The second post in this Healthy Habits series, How To LOVE Drinking Nothing But Water! will be posted soon!

Ten Keystone Habits To Achieve A Healthy Weight And Stay There

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

“Well, that must be nice for you,” they spit at me. (Wait, I know you don’t spit, either. We talked about that in another post. But it ruins the effect, if I don’t keep that part. You can’t expect perfect truth in every blog post.)

Anyway, my mouth was full of chocolate, some of it dripping from the corners of my mouth. “Huh?” I asked.

She continued, “Well, you can obviously eat whatever you want.”

I guessed she was referring to the fact that I am a healthy weight and my mouth was currently full of chocolate – overfull actually.

But what she didn’t see were the habits I (ir)regularly follow behind the scenes.

Here they are.

A caveat before we begin is that I’ve never had professional training as a nutritionist. But I’ve read a ton on the side about food and health. And like a boxer in a ring, who has been fighting her entire life with someone about the same strength as her, I have maintained a healthy weight my entire life.

This didn’t come easy.

I’m still fighting.

(Following God’s direction and a neurologist’s advice, I also prepared the food that healed my kid’s learning disabilities, but that is a discussion for another time).

This is what I do to fight the temptations and the cultural normalcy of food that is anything but normal or healthy.

I made my own point system, and give myself two points daily for each healthy habit completed. One point if I grew in habit development that day.

Here are my top ten habits. The total maximum points in a day is 20 points.

1. Two points for drinking the recommended water allocation in a day.

2. Two points for doing one hour of exercise. Must break a sweat to get two points.

3. Two points for eating a green smoothie in the morning.

4. Two points for having a salad for lunch.

5. Two points for having cut-up veggies and a yummy dip available so these can be snacked on during the day.

6. Two points for eating one plate of food and then waiting 20 minutes before having seconds.

7. Two points for having a cup of chamomile tea with honey and nothing else after dinner.

8. Two points for not eating breakfast till 10:00 am.

9. Two points for having an energy ball (fruit and cheese, or fruit and nuts can be substituted in a pinch) in mid-afternoon.

10. This is my favourite habit and I will explain why when I describe it in a minute. Two points for not having any dessert if today is a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday.

The happy side effect of this habit is that since dessert is allowed on Sunday, we get two points for eating dessert on Sunday! Stuff your face with chocolate on Sunday, let it drip from the corners of your mouth (Why does that happen so often to me?) and watch them bemoan the fact that you’ve never even tried, yet you are a healthy weight.

Ha! The joke’s on them.

Why growing in these habits can eventually become an absolute delight will be discussed next time.

Mourning Together With Coyotes Is Healthy

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

My dog is smarter than he looks.

I mean, he doesn’t look that smart when the fire engine or the coyotes are howling outside, and our dog howls along with them.

Does he not know he is not a fire truck? Or a coyote?

But he is definitely smarter than he looks.

For example, once on a walk, I suddenly heard coyotes howling very close to us. (There is a real world outside of LA where actual trees and flowers exist!).

I quickly grabbed onto his leash. I was certain my fluffy mini-golden doodle would head for the middle of the pack and howl along with them, making his dog dreams a reality (Being called a “doodle” is never cool in coyote society. Being called “fluffy” doesn’t help either. Or “mini.”)

But instead, tail between his legs, he hunkered down and ran home, me stumbling along behind him.

When we got safely inside, and he was protected by a locked door, he opened his mouth wide, and howled in freedom, just one of the pack.

He somehow knew that the coyotes would eat him if they got a chance. But that didn’t stop him from also knowing that mourning with others is healthy.

I feel the same way actually.

I know I will never be accepted into a pack of coyotes.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to learn to mourn, to lament in my community with the freedom of a coyote.

“. . . weep with those who weep” Ancient Text

You may think you’ve heard coyotes wail because you watched a John Wayne movie once, but the lamenting, prolonged howl of a group of coyotes is really nothing like that.

Coyotes send shivers down your spine when you hear them mournfully wailing.

You kind of think they’ll shut up after a few minutes but they don’t. It can go on for hours, sometimes in the middle of the day.

“What in the world are they crying about?” I finally wondered.

Coyotes mourn in packs in the fall, when a younger coyote sets off on his own. (I read that on the internet*.)

And so this is what we can learn from coyotes:

1. They mourn together as a group and out loud.

2. They mourn about one thing, and then gracefully interweave their sadness to other stuff that is also breaking their little hearts. (Give me a break here – I know we can’t read the minds of coyotes, but this is my interpretation of what they’re saying. Do you have a better idea of what coyotes think about when they mourn in the fall? No, I thought not!)

3. This grieving process helps them. I mean most of the time coyotes are pretty well-adjusted, right? 50% of them are not sucking back Prozac or the equivalent, like us humans. Maybe we can learn from them.

I’ll explain what we can learn next time.

* Scientific Information Source

The Nature Conservancy: “There’s also a lot of contradictory information – and complete nonsense – written about coyotes.”

Blogpost Footnotes

No! I’m not a coyote-ologist or whatever that’s called. No! I’ve never even studied coyotes. Why do you ask?

Oh! I did read a really funny Canadian classic book once called Never Cry Wolf, and wolves are sort of like coyotes, I think. Does that count?

Anyway, I know the next blog post outlining what I’ve learned from coyotes will help you.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!