How To Succeed In Life? (It Is The Exact Same Way You Triumph In Chess!)

Join me in being successful at BOTH life AND chess, friends!

grayscale photo of person holding glass

I enjoyed playing cribbage for quite a while until my husband won too frequently and then (for some reason that’s hard to explain) cribbage lost some of its joy for me.

Before his (short!) winning streak, I happened to be a much better cribbage player than my husband and consistently would win! Not that this matters, of course. But it’s fun to play games with our spouse, and to enjoy each other!

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I do like to win, yes, and I know that doesn’t matter.

But still, it was time to find a new game. Something that I am good at. “Extra good at,” is what I was thinking.

NOT like playing Settlers of Catan, which I will NEVER play with him again! (Yes, he wins WAY too often, which isn’t helpful for my self-esteem!)

I think he should let ME win because it’s (objectively – he agrees after the game is over!) good for our marriage!

So, we began playing chess together, instead. Now I’m at the same level as my husband. But I’m learning how to win at LIFE because I played CHESS!

“How?” you ask, mesmerized.

Well, let me explain.

For example, that day recently when my husband and I were driving in the car and he (mildly) challenged me about something, I DIDN’T DO what I normally would have done BEFORE we started playing chess!

My temptation WOULD HAVE BEEN to immediately fire back a challenge at him (to keep the power balance in my favor – see the helpful explanation HERE!). However, I didn’t fire back a sharp rebuke, because I remembered that that was actually how he won when we played chess!

Learning in chess was helping me learn in life!

“But I will NOT lose in life!” I decided!

So the next time my husband mildly challenged me in the car that day with something I could do differently, I thought, “Ha! I’m not going to let him win! I’m NOT going to challenge him back!” And THAT’S how I won that argument!

(Wait! Do you think it’s possible that he knows me well enough to use my – decidedly minor – character flaws against me? No. That could never be. That’s MY tactic, not HIS!)

Well, you know, you want to marry someone who has a similar level of emotional intelligence to you, because it makes sparring more fun together, just like playing chess together!

. . .our foremost efforts should be to help others live well

The Message

I showed this encouraging quote to my husband, and I hope it helps him enjoy playing chess with me more! And I hope this article helps you, too! May you, too, be increasingly successful at both life AND chess!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Life is short. Why not laugh a bit more? (Wait! WITH me or AT me? Whatever!) Let’s journey together.

Photo Credit – THIS Is The Purpose Of Playing Games! (To Have Fun, Of Course!) by GR Stocks on Unsplash

BEST Marriage Advice! Store Up Extra Power For Later!

Being happily married for 25 years like me can be easy, friend!

We celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary this month. And you know, on reflection, it’s actually easy to be married for 25 years! The trick is to understand power.

The power must stay balanced.

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For example, you’ll want to reserve some power for later, when you make the inevitable mistakes all of us tend to make. It’s handy to have some extra power in your pocket for moments like these. This is so you have the upper hand and can wield some power, so you don’t have to spend quite as long in the slumps or groveling.

So, for example, for our 25th wedding anniversary dinner, I brought a small surprise present for my husband.

This is a perfect way to gather little memories to cherish forever! And also, this is a perfect opportunity for you to put some extra power into your pocket! Here’s how to store up power, using this ACTUAL example1 from my own life!

  1. I gave a small, surprise present to my spouse in FRONT OF my spouse’s friends at our anniversary celebration dinner without telling him first that I was going to do this!
  2. I also gave this present on a day that wasn’t our actual anniversary (To reduce the risk of him giving me a present! See the no-fail beauty in this advice?)
  3. He (therefore) didn’t know I was going to give him a present or that I’m doing this so all of our friends will assume (of course!) what a great spouse I am and what a terrible spouse my husband is!
  4. It’s moments like these that help you keep power in your pocket so that you can dole it out later when necessary, friends!

When You Need A Little Extra Power:

For example, that morning I drank all the cream for our morning coffees because I didn’t feel like sharing the last little bit, my husband COULD be mad at me for that, but THANKFULLY I had a little extra power in my pocket saved up. It was wrong of me to drink ALL the remaining coffee cream2 but thankfully, I had a bit of extra power in my pocket, from remembering in detail the last mistake he made, from times that I had stored it up for occasions just such as this! And voila!

The power balance is restored.

Love . . . doesn’t keep score of the sins of others

The Message

Caveat: I find that the source for this quote isn’t ALWAYS completely helpful in proving my point of view, as noted above, though it does have many useful bits that help me see the world in ways that align with how I see things! The rest of this chapter of this ancient text says a LOT about loving well, but I, for one, always find the rest of the chapter completely confusing! Well, “Learn what you can where you can!” as I always say!

The summary of this helpful advice is really CYA.

CYA is an acronym that stands for “Cover Your…” I dunno. I think it’s “Arsenal.” I can’t remember the last word of that acronym.

In CYA, you want to build up protection, cover your troops and have enough arsenal in your pockets and at your disposal for your next battle.

But you see, friends? With helpful strategies such as these, it’s easy! Being married for 25 years is a snap!

For more helpful advice, check out additional marriage advice HERE, HERE and more coming as we enter our 26th year.

You’re welcome, everyone!

Good luck!

Elderly couple kissing, holding champagne and flowers.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits: US! by A Friend, A Kind And Considerate Present! by Me, And “US” In Another 25 Years! by Godz1 on Unsplash


1 That you will want to emulate. (Of course!)

2 Yes! I would do it again! But why would you ask that!