The Truth About Being Annoyed With God (It’s Helpful for Eye-Opening Transformation)

You can learn that from me! You’re welcome! Good luck!

man holding telephone screaming

The worst, most terrible, awful part about parenting and homeschooling, is that God will want to transform your attitude, heart and motives and that STINKS!

I mean, think about it – you have always wanted to boss someone around, and now you have your little people to line up army style and pull rank on. YOU know what’s going on and YOU call the shots. You’ve been alive longer than they have, and so the world is in perfect order, thank you very much!

Then God steps in and messes everything up for you.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

At least that’s what happened to me every SINGLE DAY. Yeah, it stinks. For example, consider entitlement.

One day, I was looking down my nose in condemnation at my five-year-old because – WOW!- she wasn’t thankful!1

“How did she end up as such an unthankful little human?” I wondered with fear and trepidation. Would she be an unthankful little brat her entire life? THIS has got to be fixed!

I lectured her for half an hour on the benefits and joy of noticing the little things.

She looked at me blankly and continued to blame me for not buying her a third ice cream cone, stamping her little feet and yelling insults at me.

Yikes!

“What do I do now?” I wondered, finally looking up at God. “Can2 you please help me?”

And He did whisper to my heart that day as a gentle wind passed us.

And what He said was THE most annoying, infuriating and upsetting thing He could have mentioned to me right at that exact moment.

He seemed to whisper to my heart:

And how is your level of thankfulness, child?

His words were not harsh or condemning, but gentle, patient and full of the same kind of love I had for my daughter – I WANT her to find joy, and this is the path to it!

So it is for you, he seemed to remind me, turning the parent-child relationship on its head again.

How had I become the child again?

I wanted to be the parent, carefully explaining truths to my little mirrors of me.

And THAT was precisely the problem.

She WAS a mini-mirror of me on this issue.

Time for me to change.

Jesus held out his hand to me, and asked me to walk with him on this path towards a having a bit less gunk in my heart.

Would I follow?

Will you? He holds out his hand to you, too. Will you follow?

Yeah. I know. It STINKS to follow God sometimes because instead of changing THEM, He ends up changing US! I HATE THAT!

But Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Ancient Text

The song below is too humble for my taste. However, it contains some excellent thoughts about gratitude that are worth considering. As the song below plays, consider asking God how He may be a Shepherd to you, increasing joy through gratitude.

God, help us to figure out the (one or two places) where your plans for us are better than our ideas for how to run our lives, we pray.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!


Photo Credit – Someone ELSE (NOT me!) Being Annoyed At God by Icons8 Team on Unsplash


1 It is worth noting that whenever my children demonstrate excellence in virtue, they naturally reflect the excellent teaching, values, and confidence that I instill as a homeschooling parent. But whenever they do something naughty (WHAT?!), of course, that is because they didn’t sleep well or their stomachs were upset, as explained perfectly clearly HERE. (Yes. That article is about my dog, but the SAME THING is true about my kids, OF COURSE!)

2 Notice the verb “Can” which of course makes Jesus laugh and slap his knee, wiping the tears a tear from his eye because he is laughing so hard. The answer “Yes. He CAN help!” A valuable truth to remember, one I often seem to forget. Jesus IS helpful!

Seeking Spiritual Profundity? Hack: One Important Truth From Immature People (And Me!)

a young boy sitting on top of a wooden bench

The most crucial spiritual stuff we are struggling to understand is already well understood by children.

Of course, it’s understood by children and ME, too! So that’s how you know I have great spiritual depths – sometimes I am immature! (Reread the first sentence if you are confused.)

I prove that I have had a few (VERY!) brief moments of immaturity HERE.

But reflecting on the first sentence in this newsletter, this immaturity may be the source of my extraordinary spiritual wisdom!

Now, what was I saying?

Ahem.

As I was saying, since children understand the most significant spiritual truths well, I will deduce essential insights from the children’s story I shared at the front of our church last Sunday for you to enjoy!

In that riveting and insightful children’s story, I was trying to make The Point that God is NOT (notice the NOT!) a gumball machine in the sky! What I mean is that more often than we care to admit, we adults think of God’s love as transactional:

  1. We put in a quarter and out pops a gumball from the gumball machine, or
  2. We put in a prayer, and out pops the stuff we want – i.e., a healing, the OTHER person to change (This is an excellent prayer by the way!1), or to hear His voice more clearly.

When we don’t get what we want, when the gumball doesn’t pop out of the machine after we insert our quarter of prayer, we get frustrated and shake the machine a bit, before we kick it and put it in the corner where only spiders building webs will visit it for a while.

We put God into a box and then realize that there is something wrong with the box.

There is.

The thing that is wrong with the box is us.

“And what is your point?” you ask, looking at your watch, with one hand on your laptop, ready to slam it closed.

Children don’t have as many boxes they are trying to shove God inside.

And so, this is one of the essential things we can learn from children and other immature people.

If God didn’t whisper between the “Amen” and the passing round of the Thanksgiving fixings, we think something is wrong with us or assume He is mute. It turns out that our box is way too small for God to fit inside. Would you consider being open to the possibility of Holy Spirit right next to you, whispering and trying to wake you up in ways you could never imagine.

For example, God spoke quietly and inaudibly to me as I watched some fish once.

I will let this riveting example blow your mind next time so as not to overwhelm you with spiritual profundity. The Point is that God is way more creative than we give Him credit for, in how He is reaching out to us and trying to get our attention. He is EVEN MORE creative (AND smart!) than we are, for example!

He answers our prayers, even our prayers to be able to perceive Him, in more unusual ways than we imagine.

As the song below plays, consider asking Holy Spirit how He longs to poke you, to wake you up, and in what ways you can’t seem to feel His nudge. Consider doing a 180-degree turn from how you knowingly run in the opposite direction. May more of the scales on your eyes fall off so that you can more clearly see the creative ways He is dancing in the corner of your field of vision, waiting for you to look His way, if only the blind eyes are healed.

Blind eyes will be opened, deaf ears unstopped

The Message

Got time to be awakened?

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit: Bucket Head (Cool Hat!) by 1Click on Unsplash

1 For other helpful marriage advice, click HERE and HERE! You’re welcome! Good luck!

Parents CAN Empower Kids To Find The Gift Of True Easter Joy – It’s Here!

man in bunny costume in mid air in time lapse photography

Sometimes we mess up holidays.

For example, a stranger at the Dollar Store once asked me if I thought there was something not-quite-right about Hallowe’en. I asked if it was perhaps the sweet little kids combined with creepy maiming imagery that seemed off. Or is it just me?

woman in gray crew neck shirt

Click HERE to continue reading this post.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HEREHERE and HERE!) Let’s journey together!

The 1 Remarkable, Guaranteed* Way To Ensure Those Little Homeschoolers Tidy Up (*Sometimes)!

two toddler pillow fighting

This advice could make you feel like a Superhero Mama in Clark Kent clothes (OK – Clark Kent clothes with finger paint on them. Who’s looking THAT closely?) because this article is FILLED to the brim with advice about how to make your homeschooled kids clean up!

(Or at least there SHOULD BE AT LEAST ONE piece of advice in this article! I hope you find it! While you’re looking, have you seen any pencils? We lost all of ours, so it’s becoming harder to do math.)

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HEREHERE and HERE!) Let’s journey together!

My Homeschooled Kid Was The Most Exciting Thing The Librarian Found In A Long Time

boy in black hoodie sitting beside black dslr camera

It started as an ordinary day.

We were visiting the largest city in our region and decided to stop at the library to borrow some books for our youngest daughter’s summer reading cache. We walked in awe, looking up in wonder at the size of the magnificent building. There are so many books inside!

Click HERE to continue reading.


Thank you for liking me! I like you too! (Proven HEREHERE and HERE!) Subscribe below to soar together!

Finding God’s Unexpected Path To Healing Is Actually Easy?

grayscale photography of girl lying near field
Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

She was a shell. She was skinny, sickly, and often lost in her little world.

Her stomach racked her in pain. Friends were elusive. She was unhappy, never having exploded in childhood giggles that should have been her right.

My husband and I oscillated between worry and confidence that she would grow out of “this.” One of us, either he or I, carried the ball of fear for this child. The ball never went away.

Occupational and physical therapists dribbled through our home – in and out – like a constant stream, reminding us that something wasn’t quite “right.” The ball of concern for our child, which we took turns carrying, grew heavier.

Doctors punctuated our lives.

An exclamation point with a specialist doctor in September. A question mark with that prominent city specialist who visited in April. The regular full stops of our home doctor, where “many” childhood milestones were missed, again, were a part of the regular background noise.

The cloud of “something” felt suffocating.

It was hard to breathe.

And doctors get so concerned nowadays. Our other daughter was told she “might” have a problem detectable only by modern medicine (pulmonary stenosis!), and yet that asymptomatic “problem” mysteriously resolved itself only a few years later.

“Would the same thing happen with this other daughter?” I wondered on the days when my husband carried our ball of worry.

And then it happened.

God’s voice was carried by the wind of the Spirit that day as I chatted with a friend about her struggling child.

“Try it.”

What now? I looked around, wondering if I had heard right. My heart sensed my Father’s love for me and my daughter as He spoke. Was I imagining things, though?

“Could you repeat that?” I asked

Nothing. Stillness. Quiet.

Had I heard correctly?

I had been learning that God speaks when we remember to attach our spiritual ears. I bent down to look for my spiritual ears which seemed to have fallen off again. Had He spoken?

At the moment that I wondered if God was nudging me, my good friend had been talking about a special diet – Yes, a special diet – that she was preparing for her son, who had developmental delays.

Diet?

But that’s not what the specialists EVER recommended!

But that was what was working for him. I felt God was asking me to try this same approach. Would I obey?

And so, how are we led on God’s specific, chosen path for our lives and families that usher in His healing?

  1. We pick up our spiritual ears and attach them to our heads. Oh! There are your spiritual ears lying next to you on the ground! Shall we learn how to use them?
  2. We do what God says.

That’s it.

And oh – our daughter was healed. But that’s a story for another time.

By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told. . . . As a result, Noah became intimate with God.

The Message

An additional fun result of following Jesus where He leads is buried within the quote above if our eyes are open – Intimacy with God! Wow.

As the song below plays, ask Holy Spirit, “What is the ONE NEXT step, or person you want me to ask advice from, regarding this problem in my life that is literally burning a hole in my gut?”

God:

  • Help us look for our ears, re-attach them so they stick, and pick them up again when they fall off.
  • May our hearts be strengthened by knowing how You delight in watching us take our baby steps toward You.
  • Help us to drink a bigger glass of the gift of Your love, which often carries healing for our bodies, minds and spirits.

Thanks for reading Restoring Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Follow the Rabbit (Poop?!) to Learn How To Homeschool With Joy!

Discouraged as a homeschooling parent?

Today, let’s talk about the foundations of this discouragement. We will never be able to come up for air, to feel like we are swimming in the lake on a bright summer day (i.e., homeschooling with joy), if public school culture guides the foundation of our homeschooling.

They will be holding our heads under the water. If we do what they tell us, we gasp, struggling for breath during our homeschooling journey.

The truth is teaching kids isn’t as complicated as we thought.

Teaching kids is sort of like the scatological habit of rabbits. (Yes, scatological means poop. Stay with me.)

We have an amazing little bunny that runs all over our house and currently only poops in two locations- in her little toilet and on my husband when he is sitting. If she only pooped in her little toilet, this would be a perfect analogy, but we can’t have perfection. We’re homeschooling!

My point is that you can train rabbits to use their toilet.

Our rabbit has almost attained this lofty goal. But there’s a trick to teaching a rabbit to go to the bathroom. This same trick (well, nearly!) helps us homeschool our kids so that we don’t constantly feel like drowning.

The rabbit decides where she will go to the bathroom.

Similarly, kids decide, at least in part, how (or what or where) they will learn.

Understanding how to work within the nature of rabbits’ scatological habits and kids’ learning habits is the key that sets us free.

I’ll explain.

Pet rabbits were traditionally kept outside in pens, as it was assumed these animals couldn’t be toilet trained.

Someone brilliant figured out that if the rabbits are allowed to choose their place to go to the bathroom inside your home, they will go to that one place with proper training. If a rabbit owner decides on the location of the toilet for the rabbit, complete with carrots, rabbit toys and treats of every kind, this won’t work. They won’t become toilet trained.

But if we set the rabbit free in our home and wait, a fantastic thing happens with some training.

The rabbit chooses her location to go to the bathroom.

So when you find a large pile of about 100 poops (because rabbits poop about 150 times per day), don’t despair, rejoice! Put your little rabbit toilet in that location and let the training begin.

Kids are identical to the pooping habits of rabbits.

If we believe the Ministry of Education that kids need to learn over 300 discreet and tiny bits of information every year and that this changes every year depending on the child’s age, we might as well put the kids outside in those rabbit pens and forget about homeschooling them.

It’s impossible!

Sure, if you have 30 kids exactly the same age and leave them in the same room day after day this could work . . .  (Wait, that analogy breaks down. This approach doesn’t work in the classroom either, if we’re honest. But that’s a discussion for another day).

The point is that this approach will kill our kid’s love of learning, our love of homeschooling, and maybe even change how much we like our  students (which happened to me once) if we work diligently, trying to do what they tell us, and how they ask us to teach our kids.

Instead:

  1. We dig around the soil of the little plants that we have been entrusted to steward, our children, and we transplant their little minds and bodies as often as possible to the place where their joy in learning can be protected.
  2. Sure. We also jump through the hoops and play the game of doing what we are told if we have the energy, but we try to minimize this as much as possible. Required to teach your kids about the Solar System in Grade 3, but they’ve already moved on to studying Astrophysics? We spend half an hour filling out a worksheet if this keeps our teachers happy, but we minimize this as much as possible. (Sometimes your rabbit needs to be in her pen).
  3. Sometimes, we accept the perception of defeat for a more significant cause. For example, our kids might look like idiots for a while because we are after longer-term goals. So be it.
  4. We sit back, put our feet up, and watch them learn. Just like toilet training a rabbit, joyfully homeschooling our children is possible when we let them choose the where (or the how or the when) as often as possible.

How specifically to help them do this while we put up our feet with a cup of tea and watch our rabbit use a toilet inside will be discussed another time.

Desperately Thirsty? No Hope? A 3-Minute Reset Brings Reliable Raindrops

I was discouraged that day.

My head was in my hands as I slumped on my desk. That light on the horizon, the hope I was clinging to, in this case, “summer” for a homeschooling parent, seemed very distant. I reached out my hand but couldn’t touch this horizon today.

I got up, dressed and showered, a “skill” I had learned from previous years of homeschooling. I knew I needed to wear my best outfit and smile like I had a job outside the home. I knew I needed to greet my little students with love as they emerged from their bedrooms in their little onesies and messy hair.

But how do I give my children what I don’t have?

I fall on my face alone in my room.

Then I hold out my outstretched hand containing the seed of homeschooling He placed in my heart many years prior. I have carried the seed close to my heart. I have worked and tended this garden. These seeds (No! – Wait! These small plants!) have been watered by my sweat and hard work, ploughing in the sun and the rain. Will these small plants grow thick, strong roots downward? Will these roots find the hidden, underground springs that will sustain and nourish them?

That is my hope.

That is why this tired mother rises early again, gets dressed, puts on lipstick, and seeks hope in these pages that have fed her in the past. But what happens when we search these pages of the book but today there is no hope to be found? We have searched and turned the pages, but it is a dry season, a time of drought.

What then?

I set my three-minute timer, my little “vacation” getaway. I close and lock the door and lie down on my face alone in my room. I try to ignore any sounds outside my door, for those few minutes.

And do I pour out my heart and explain to God my life situation, knowing at a deeper level that He understands more than I do about my problem?

No.

I put on a worship song, fall on my face in my room, and praise Him for three minutes. Sometimes, the tears flow, sometimes, the anger comes, and sometimes, the drought feels too much to bear. But every time, after a couple of minutes of focusing on Him, the one who created the world, worship reminds me how big God is.

And by definition, I then remember how small I am.

And this is my hope.

When I stop shrinking God down to my size, the rains come. This drought today is over for now. Because He is so big, powerful and wise, He has multiple answers to my problems in His little pinky finger.

Will I trust him, remember His grandeur and pick up the hope that came with this rain of his presence? Will I take a drink? Will I stand in the rain? I’ll be cleansed, if so, my face uplifted to the One who is the source of living water, the God who, by touching the hem of His robe, can make us well.

And I don’t understand it, but I can trust the rain and hope I found today. And this rain becomes living water in my heart so that I can pour out hope on my children today and face whatever dangers, tigers, or math come our way.

And when we stop at the end of the day, decade, or season of life and put up our feet, we can thank Jesus for giving us the strength and hope to keep going.

. . . I provided water in the desert. . . Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom made to praise me

The Message

The Best Solutions Suddenly Materialize When We Embrace Our Inner Loser!

The problem I couldn’t solve in that season was, “How do I, a VERY busy, mentally fragile (We’re around kids a LOT) homeschooling parent, find time to exercise?”

I did, eventually, find a solution to this problem by embracing my inner loser. I hope this problem-solving method helps you find solutions to your biggest problems, too! Here’s what happened, which is a continuation of this post.

And yes, I realize this last post was useless without an explanation, which I didn’t have time to provide.

Now, where was I? Ah yes. Smelling kid’s butts. After the low of us parents becoming butt-sniffers, we hit an even lower low several months later.

Butt-sniffing became our accidental family culture.

Our two-year-old, who loved to mimic our behaviour, stopped next to me as I sat on an office stool and then had a sniff before she carried on with her other little tasks. I looked at her, startled and then smiled lamely at my husband.

How did we become THAT family?*

The point is, as discussed last time, the person we become is not always the person we aspire to be.

Not only did I find it convenient to assume the identity of a butt-sniffing parent, but I also found it convenient to shirk the identity of a homeschooling parent who has all of her ducks in a row.

Which brings me, finally, to embracing our inner loser so we can become a homeschool parent who exercises.

Before I started on this homeschooling journey, I, like you if you homeschool, envisioned myself as a particular type of homeschooling parent. This is not the parent I eventually became. I’m okay with that now.

But the shaky ground of this identity incongruence was a roller coaster ride.

I envisioned myself nicely coifed and looking like my favourite public school teacher in Grade Three, Mrs. Chamberlain. Instead, I very quickly became that parent still wearing a house coat and curlers in my hair at 11:00 am, downing my fourth coffee, and trying to find the kids so I could corral them inside. We began the day with our “Homeschool Morning Routine”, which, for us was trying to find our books or pencils strewn around the house and yard the day before.

A new problem also emerged: I knew my inconvenient, neglected body needed to start exercising again.

I couldn’t even figure out how to encourage, bribe or command my children to put the milk away after they finished breakfast (In fact, I still haven’t figured that out with one of my teenagers). How would I keep these little ones on their homeschooling tasks while I left their side to exercise?

The feat seemed impossible.

Until my new identity as an incompetent homeschooling parent thought up a solution.

Realizing I was – ahem- a BIT of a (whisper) homeschooling loser, once I stopped trying so hard to be an exercise enthusiast, and embraced mediocrity, the solution to my problem was obvious!

I’ll tell you specifically what that is next time.**

The point is, let’s embrace our inner incompetence!

Perhaps the solutions to your problems can be found there, too!

Since we’ve . . . proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God . . . got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

The Message

Once we accept our identities as people who are incompetent in so many ways, life suddenly gets much more manageable!

Time to stop trying so hard and embrace your inner loser, too?

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Blogpost Footnotes

*See this post for a perfectly reasonable answer, thank you very much, okay?!

**Ah! I forgot to say something useful again!

Destroy People’s Self Esteem To Help Them Feel Better (Eventually) In These 3 Ways

“Wait, what are you doing right now?” he asked me.

I was melodramatically pretending to cry as the youth left the party.

“Oh, I’m just pretending I’m sad to see him leave,” I explained. “I made fun of him a lot tonight, and so now I’m building up his self-esteem.” The youth listened, mouth agape, staring at me.

As I’ve said before, my magnetism to youth is remarkable.

But unfortunately, we’re not supposed to make fun of millennials anymore. In fact, we’re not supposed to make fun of anyone anymore. So, at the next party, I tried to conform. 

I stuffed snack after snack into my mouth in an effort not to speak.

The problem is that if we really want to do this self-esteem thing right, we shouldn’t say anything true at all. Millennials, for example, have self-esteem that is 1/4 inch thick. If we accidentally blow the truth in their vicinity, they cry or get upset. “How dare you assault me with the truth?” they retort. “Don’t you know I’m sensitive?”

And so we apologize and cower to the needs of their egos.

“You’re doing great!” we assert, every time they look up from their iPhones or get out of bed.

“I can see you are trying to do some math! You get a star!”

“You ran in a race that you didn’t even train for? You get a medal! Everyone gets a medal!”

And with all of this self-esteem and encouragement, and “Well done!” floating around, you’d think our youth would be boyoed up by all this praise and floating happily on their circumstances in life.

Of course, we all know that youth depression and mental illness are at an all-time high.

So why not try another approach?

What if we tell everyone they’re losers?

It’s counterintuitive (like all my best advice), but we can finally let our stomach fat out and relax! We can stop pretending to be someone we’re not. We can get on with enjoying the party games, popcorn and time together.

“What are you talking about?” you ask.

Well, if we could relax and let our kids relax, I think we’d have a lot more fun. We don’t have to, in fact, shield our kids from the fact that they’re messed up and that we are, too. There is surprising freedom in realizing that we are all losers.

If we are at the bottom of the pit, there’s nowhere to go but up!

Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. 

The Message

Hope abounds because things can only get better!

Once we stop showering accolades on each other, and accept that we are all dorks, lost on the ship we call life, the adventure can begin!

Anyone around here seen a Captain? We could certainly use some help getting cleaned up a bit, and figuring out how to work together to get all of our oars on this boat pulling in the same direction.

And so, how do we feel better? 

1. We realize we are a directionless loser.

2. We find someone to help clean us up a bit.

3. We follow this person and therefore, all grow together in the same direction.

He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

The Message

And life gets a little easier!

Spiritual people, for example, those who know that they are losers because they desperately need someone to clean them up, lead them and help them all row in a similar direction, tend to struggle a bit less frequently with their mental health.*

So stop building up people’s self-esteem! Trash them instead, knowing that this is the best way to build them up! They’ll (eventually) feel better!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!


Blogpost Footnotes

*Of course, many people within the church struggle with mental health, and research is based on averages.