Authenticity

Advice: The Best Thing Is To LAUGH! WHY? Because You’re Ridiculous, Too! Oh! And Happy Christmas, Friend!

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Here Is Our Christmas Letter To Update You On Our Family and Our Year!

Please find our annual holiday “Newsletter1” below!

This is where we update you on our family and share some insightful sayings that our family members shared this year to encourage you! And so, “What happened this year?” You ask? I’m glad you asked!

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

Well, our youngest child decided to leave home a year earlier than anticipated.

She’s planning to move out this summer, which sent me into a (SLIGHT!) identity spiral:

“Who am I if I am not a mom homeschooling her kids?”

Luckily, I have been researching starting another Master’s Degree (I’m smarter than I let on) or a certificate, or additional schooling of some sort, to try to claw my way into some sort of cultural significance. (Or should I get more counselling instead to work on the neuroses that drive me? Well, I guess we’ll see whether a year of schooling or a year of therapy is cheaper.)

As long as I have enough going on to keep me busy and distracted, that’s my goal!

So, yes, given my new plans, as described above, for when all the kids move out, everything is great!

Now that we’ve got all that sappy and annoying “real” stuff out of the way, not much has really changed around here.

We putter around a bit. Our kids putter around a bit, do their homeschooling, and then they move out and leave us, one after the other. (That’s FINE! Who cares?). Our animals, a dog and a rabbit, putter around a bit, too, as usual.

That’s about it.

Anyway, without further ado, here are some quotes family members said last year. May you have a good laugh (At our expense?! – WAIT! IF you laugh, EVEN ONCE, MAKE SURE you send us some of the stupid stuff YOU said so we can laugh at you, too!)

Why not?

We’re all ridiculous. We might as well admit it! And then let’s laugh together!

Andy to me: “Yes! I DO want you to come to the hockey game with me! Why? Because I’ll have more fun if you’re there! Everything is better with you. You’re like whipped cream.”

Did I mention that we are celebrating twenty-five years of marriage this year? If you’re marriage is on the rocks, copy and paste what Andy said here to your wife! More marriage advice HERE and HERE and below!

Kyah, as she was about to do math – “Oh wait. I have to get my headset so I can listen to classical music so I won’t cry.”

And so, as you can see, not much changes in our homeschooling rhythms, either! “If you have to cry, go ahead and do it!” is what I say when I homeschool my kids! You can find more helpful homeschooling advice HERE and HERE!

Me to a young man from our church, “You’re a good boy.”

Kyah: “Mom! Why do you talk to him like that! That’s the same way you talk to the dog!”

Young man: “She’s trying to embarrass me, but she ends up embarrassing herself.”

Me: (!)

THE POINT is that not much seems to change with me, either, despite my pouring money into (obviously useless) therapy! However, more articles on how to excel relationally and even to have fun with others can be found HERE and HERE!

Significant changes in our home INCLUDE that our predator (dog) and prey (bunny) ARE changing!

A LOT!

Andy to me: “You are like Cesar Millan. You ARE the dog whisperer.” The dog was peacefully lying at my feet during supper2.

Then Andy said, “I NEVER thought I would say THAT about YOU!”

Me, thinking: “WHY did he have to say that last line?”

However, we can now leave our dog and bunny alone together – unattended! Actually, our bunny gently (but manipulatively) nibbled at the dog’s toes once. Our dog is so sweet and good-natured that the bunny now terrifies the dog when she jumps around the house, asserting her dominance.

(I’m sure there’s some great marriage advice in there somewhere, but I’ll need some careful reflection time to extract it from this life situation. So I may require a lot of time for skiing, relaxing in the hot tub, etc., during this Christmas break. However stay tuned and expectantly anticipate more helpful relationship advice this coming year!)

And so, Merry Christmas! We hope you feel caught up on everything that happened in our lives this year! And we pray God overflows your lives with blessings, as you hang fast to the rope as it swings you through life!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – This is us in a choir that we joined this year. (Maybe new things ARE brewing…?) Do you sense a possible change in the weather, too, friend?

Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

The Message

Don’t you see it, friend?

Thanks for liking me! I like you too! – Proven HERE, HERE, and HERE! Let’s journey together!

1 News! Hahahahaha!

2 (Because I “dropped” my food.) But why tell everyone that part?

Advice: Give Jesus And Faith An Extra Look For 3 Obvious Reasons

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(Spoiler Alert: Because you’re wrong! Three times!) You’re welcome! Good luck!

a woman sitting on a blanket looking at her reflection in a mirror

He was hilarious, the way he screwed up his lips and tried oh so carefully to hit the correct BASS and not TENOR note at the community harmony choir last night.

He had a neck tattoo and otherwise was a teensy bit “tough” or “scary looking.”

But he was singing his heart out about a snowflake in winter, and his concentration, bent over the songbook, made him oblivious to those around him, who were staring at him.

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And to be clear, when I say he was “scary looking,” I mean he was to OTHERS! I NEVER assume to know someone’s heart by their EXTERIORS! PLEASE!

However, the comedian we watched the previous night, Shayne Smith, also had neck tattoos and complained that people judged him because of this. “People always assume I was in a gang!” he ranted. Well, he WAS in a gang for a while, we learned later that night, but what was THE POINT?

Oh yes, the point is that:

People may not be EXACTLY who you think they are!

And if I’m honest, I will often scratch my head and wonder who I am when I look in the mirror.

For example, we once had some youth over for dinner. The youth looked at our wedding photograph taken twenty-five years ago and scratched their heads asking, “Who in the WORLD are those people in the photo?”

Obviously, it’s us!

Obviously, we look EXACTLY like we did back then! Everyone knows that! Or maybe everyone doesn’t know that.

People mislead themselves all day long . . . We dupe ourselves in order to deceive others, creating social advantage.1

Scientific American -Living a Lie: We Deceive Ourselves To Better Deceive Others

Perhaps I don’t even know myself as much as I think I should!

And so you may not be EXACTLY who you think you are, either.

And if we’re wrong about others and even wrong about ourselves (I, at least, can admit to being wrong about myself ONCE, for example), maybe we’re wrong about God too.

Jesus is not who we expected him to be, either, actually.

Maybe God is not a mean ogre in the sky, waiting to zap you for your misdemeanors.

Maybe Jesus got off his throne in heaven and suffered pain and rejection on earth to have a shot at wooing you. Perhaps his body and his heart broke and are breaking for your return love of Him. Maybe every thought you have about God that is tied up neatly with a bow is wrong.

And so why give Jesus another chance this season?

Well, the answer to that question is obvious!

(1) You were wrong about others,

(2) You’re wrong about yourself,

THEREFORE

(3) You’re probably wrong about Jesus, too, if you’re honest!

The prayer that precedes all other prayer is, may the real me meet the real you

C.S. Lewis

As the song below sings, “come to Me all you weary,” consider asking Jesus what you may believe about Him that isn’t, in fact, true. And may Holy Spirit help you to “lay down your head,” so He can “give you rest” as you “leave your cares,” this season, friend. God, help us to hear Your whispers of truth about ourselves, others and You, we pray.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credit – Got Time For Another Look? by Anna Keibalo on Unsplash

1 Huh? THAT part is DEFINITELY wrong! Please!

2 Guaranteed, Official Ways To Win In The Craft Fairs And In Life!

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Go ahead, friend! Win! Why not?

a group of vases sit on a table

I humbly mention that I RAKED IN accolades at the Christmas Craft Fair1, because I won a ribbon in EVERY category that I entered!2

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As I am a clear WINNER at Craft Fairs and at life, I wanted to share some of the hard-fought wisdom I’ve learned.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

I learned these essential truths:

1.Sometimes just showing up is enough to guarantee success!

Sometimes, we can use the experience of entering the Craft Fair to allow others to elevate us to such a lofty level that we can look down on the “Losers” in our category! And then we can feel better about ourselves! (In my case, there weren’t any “Losers” in one of my categories as I was the only contestant who entered that category3, but THAT didn’t stop ME from looking down on strangers who walked past me at the Craft Fair! I had a ribbon – TWO ribbons! “Did they?” I asked them silently with my eyes, as I puffed up my chest a bit to make sure my ribbons were on display.)

There are many ways to increase our fragile self-esteem by (humbly, of course!) looking down on others.

So, enter the Craft Fairs and go to the gym and to church!

2.Refuse to listen when people “Judge” you at the Craft Fair or in life!

For example, I felt my blood pressure rise to the level my therapist says will kill me if I don’t learn a “Successful Coping Strategy” (Whatever that means). When I got home, I had a fit, which my poor daughter was around to witness, where I complained loudly about the Judges who are not fair to contestants like me! The reason I was so upset was that my competitor’s (i.e., the enemy’s) oatmeal cookie submission won second place.

However, my dessert won third place, simply because I didn’t add any sugar to my baking submission.

People who VALUE the fact that I didn’t dump cups of poison onto the food to satisfy judges with unreasonably sweet tastes (called a Bliss Point which varies by culture) WOULD have at least considered that FOR A DESSERT WITHOUT SUGAR, it was pretty good!

“Why do I let other people judge my dessert, my cookies, or my life?” I wondered in a frenzy of frustration.

Yes! Why do you? I sensed the Spirit of God confirm to my heart.

Why, child?

He was pleading with me.

And just like that, I was convicted of being a bit of a nutcase again. NOT a nutcase in that I am DIFFERENT from others, but a nutcase in that I am the SAME as others. Why, too, do you let others judge your cookies, or your life, friend?

These judges don’t even VALUE the same things you do, whether it’s healthy food, or chasing hard after a God who doesn’t make sense a lot of the time.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise

6th-century Irish poet Dallán Forgaill

We sang the song with the above lyrics this week at church, and my heart felt a little more centered, a bit more aligned with true north. How is the compass of your heart, friend? Does it need a little realignment, too?

To bring your car, ego and life into realignment, consider reading stuff like THIS.

And I hope that your nutcase-ness is exposed a little bit, too, so that God can gently remove a bit more of the cultural rot from your heart, too, friend!

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Photo Credits – How To Know You’re A True Winner! by Jelly Dollar on Unsplash, MY ACTUAL RIBBONS! (See? I DO SO tell the truth, sometimes!)

1 Fall Craft Fair, actually, but I don’t want you to know that I forgot about this crumpled-up page of writing that I found in a crevice of my bag this week, because in the fall (of course!) I was too busy swimming in the local lake and now (of course!) it’s ski season AND I just bought a fat tire bike so I can ride on the snow! (Meaning I’m BUSY PEOPLE! PLEASE!)

2 Two categories.

3 Yes, I DID win SECOND place in a category had only ONE contestant (me) due to “Quality Concerns” or some nonsense like that! Whatever! Reread Point #2.

Discouraged By Life’s Race? You’ll Easily Find The Gift Of Refreshment In These 3 Ways

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Got time for a drink, friend? (No! NOT THAT kind of a drink!)

caution runners printed signage on road

She was running, wiping her brow, sweat dripping as she ran.

(I didn’t say life was always pretty.)

She grabbed another drink of water from the paper cup held out to her and dropped half of it on her shirt as she gulped the rest, crumpling and then tossing the paper cup.

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A large group of people running down a street

“They’ll have to clean that up later,” she thought.

She could see another racer just ahead of her, and if she could ONLY go a little faster. She wondered if the other racer might sprain an ankle or fall, or . . . “Then I would be in luck!” she thought.

Wait. Whaat?

She stopped mid-stride to examine her thoughts.

A crowd of racers surged past her in a blur, the rhythmic pounding of their shoes on the pavement the background noise to her thoughts.

When the crowd had passed, she stooped to pick up one of the paper cups, two. When had she become too busy to help clean up the mess she had trampled and even contributed to? Where was this race taking her?

Can’t you be satisfied to drink from the clear stream without muddying the water with your feet? Why do the rest of my sheep have to make do with grass that’s trampled down and water that’s been muddied?

The Message

She put her arm around the volunteer who had come to help those racers in need, the one who had noticed that she needed a more extended rest. She limped, her arm draped over the volunteer’s shoulders, to the aid station. They poked her with monitors and gave her a blanket to warm her and then left her alone.

She was fine. She only needed to rest.

And that’s how I woke up this morning.

How about you?

Ever wake up and remember that you forgot to rest, that you don’t know where your race is taking you, that no matter how hard you try, you can’t quite seem to keep up with your inner coach – you – shouting directions – “Turn left! Turn right! No! Go straight!” – in a way that bypasses the control center, the thoughts and dreams that lay dormant in your head?

It was time for me to rest, but how could I do that?

I needed to exit the race for a bit, to limp to the side and to check out my map. Just because everyone else was running in this direction, did that mean that I should too? What was the map of my heart saying?

I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me . . .
I’ll . . . give you a long drink . . .

The Message

And then she sat.

And then she drank and drank and drank. And roots grew from her feet, deep, deep roots so that she could take a drink more often as she ran the race of life. Water was always at her feet, if only she could remember to drink.

How about you?

And so, what can we do to endure life’s race and not only survive but thrive?

In the middle of your tasks you can comfort yourself with Love as often as you can

Brother Lawrence in The Practice Of The Prescence Of God

Got time to put aside the race and the running and the keeping up and discover what your heart may be whispering?

As the song below sings, “there is a peace to settle your soul.” Consider asking Jesus which path to follow to take one step toward this peace. What hint do you sense in your soul? God, help us to hear your call (that our emotions sometimes chime) to stop, to reassess, and to drink, we pray.

Photo Credit – “Caution Runners!” As You Run The Race Of Life! by Nik on Unsplash, Messy Race (And Life) by Richard Scordato on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Loving Restored Cars Has 3 Hidden Secrets To Aging Better?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Would you like a little psychotherapy with that fresh coat of paint?

white and purple vintage car on green grass field during daytime

I had never TRULY appreciated those old vintage cars, all fixed up, that are driven and maintained by older men on the edge of mid-life crises (and sometimes insanity).

Their world revolves disturbingly around these cars, and they attend old, restored car conferences every year to show off their efforts.

They distract themselves by talking about old cars to try to forget they are headed for the scrap heap soon, too, and they pretend that by restoring an old car, they COULD also restore themselves.

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At least that is what is happening beneath the surface for them. However, we may not see a ripple of these neuroses on the surface as they talk incessantly about missing parts and how to help give the exterior another fresh coat of paint to cover over some of the rust and warped frames. In other words, they are actually talking about themselves.

They don’t know it deep down, though there is sort of a hint, an inkling way down deep in their souls, which suggests this may be true.

They would never admit it. (That’s okay, actually. The truly wise know that sometimes, burying neuroses is not SUCH a bad strategy!)

As for me, I had never appreciated old, restored cars when I was young.

Now, I do for some reason that I can’t quite pinpoint.

I mean, the work!

And don’t you think those old cars are MUCH NICER LOOKING and therefore have MUCH MORE VALUE than those cheap imports? And SURE – the newer cars take a bit less work – but have MUCH LESS PERSONALITY?

I mean, I think so.

And so, what are the three hidden reasons why appreciating old cars helps us regain our sanity?

That’s easy:

  1. Appreciating old cars (and dragonflies) awakens us to remember that God is outside of our time line for our lives.
  2. Appreciating old cars reminds us that God loves to fix stuff, too.
  3. Appreciating old cars helps us expand our vision of WHAT God can do in the next season of our lives.

“In the Last Days,” God says, “I will pour out my Spirit on every kind of people: . . . your old men [will] dream dreams.

The Message

And that’s all I have to say for today.

Oh, and did I mention that God loves to restore old cars, too?

Restore us, O Lord God of hosts; Cause Your face to shine on us [in favor and approval] . . .

Ancient Text

This is good news, friend!

As the song below sings, “Now is the time for restoration with repentance with transformation,” what do you sense God nudging in your heart? What old dream do you sense rising to the surface again? May you ponder your dreams in times of prayer with God, friend, and may He boldly guide your steps into your next season.

May you have exceeding joy as you drive your restored Corvette with the top down into this next season, friend.

I’ll wave to you as we pass each other!

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

What I’ve Learned About Being Amazing And This Is The way You Can Be Amazing Too!

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Ready to swap “BLAH” for “WOW” for your life, friend?

A cat sitting on a bed next to a window

I made this1 quilt.

Yup.

“Who made this quilt?” our friend asked, on visiting our lake cabin and seeing such stunning beauty in this fish quilt that her eyes could no longer focus on anything else, including the picturesque beauty trying to capture her attention outside the window, the sun2 glimmering on the water of the lake.

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“Oh, I did,” I mentioned casually, humbly.

“YOU?”

I tried not to be offended at her incredulous astonishment, as if it was IMPOSSIBLE that I could produce something like this.

“Of course!” I tried to divert her embarrassing incredulity with more of my humbly low self-assessment.

She stuttered and spat in an effort to talk, unsure how to respond.

Which brings us to THE POINT of today’s newsletter.

I’m amazing.

I am ALSO self-assured enough to admit, however much this admission is a drop in the ocean of my grandiosity, a BIT to my perceived or actual faults. (What my therapist called, “Neuroses.” Whatever!)

So that day, a few months later3, I let the judgments of other people affect my actual or perceived self-esteem.

You see, some people think that I waste every day of my life. For example, homeschooling our kids has much less value in our society than it could, as mentioned HERE, where every person I met at the party after I began homeschooling my children desperately needed to speak to someone ELSE at the party. When I had a culturally successful career, people gathered around ME (!) at the party to hear my stories. I will vulnerably admit to not being perfect soon (I’M GETTING THERE, OKAY?), but I’m still building myself up first.

It’s a well-worn strategy that works for me.

That day, about a year ago, I had been visiting a new friend’s house, and it was repleef4 with beauty created by inhabitants of the house who love to make things. There were improvements everywhere we looked, which spoke to the talent and eye for beauty of both of these remarkable people. You know the type – They’re sooo annoying that they make us feel immature! I’m sure you can relate!

My editor says I have to be specific here, so imagine this:

  • handmade railings with wooden details that a machine could never create
  • bits of driftwood carefully crafted into various animals as décor on the table (Made by THEM – the jerks!)
  • beautifully handmade curtains (I made curtains once! Just saying)
  • gorgeous quilts reminiscent of nature scenes and other indescribable beauty adorning every wall

And THE POINT of today’s Substack “Newsletter5.”

I found that my self-esteem had drastically plummeted after encountering this house.

“Why don’t I have quilts on every wall?” I wondered to myself.

My husband and I “do other stuff,” which is another way of saying we waste our time playing video games, and so our house doesn’t look quite as decorated with handmade beauty!

To add insult to injury, throughout the previous year and after this visit to the home, I continued to feel a nagging urge to write.

But at the end of every day of writing, I don’t have a beautiful new sculpture for my coffee table.

So, after I finished comparing myself to them and firmly grounded myself in a culture of competitively creating art (This is the culture that I personally value and gravitate towards), I was a lowly worm in the food pyramid of that worldview.

Until the next day.

Until I felt God nudging me to set my sights in the direction He was looking.

But that conversation is for next time.

THE POINT is that sometimes we don’t set our sights for ourselves in quite the right place.

And so, how do we become amazing? We trust God and follow Him on the adventure He has for our lives. True, we may not be amazing according to how others (I.e., quilt culture) see us, but if God and our Mom like us, isn’t that what matters, friend?

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

As the song below sings “show me who I am and who I’m made to be”, consider asking God how you may have inadvertently aligned your perceived value with what our culture values. How does God see you, friend? And in what direction, even if it’s a bit off-center, is He asking you to travel?

God, help us all to have eyes for you alone, we pray.

You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever

The Message

Photo Credit – A Quilt! (Not My Quilt – See Footnote 1) by Linus Belanger on Unsplash

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1 Actually I can’t find the picture I took of the quilt I made but who says I’m NOT organized?

2 Or Son – This type of beauty reminds me of its Creator

3 Unlike every other day when I am full of wisdom

4 Fancy word! – Wait, my editor says that’s NOT a word? What does she know! I like that word so it stays!

5 Ha! This is news? Haha!

HALLOWEEN ADVICE: Revere A Good God Instead Of Foul Demons!

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person holding pink flower

So, I’ve been reading about becoming a successful and influential online figure that others look up to and admire.

Did I mention that yet?

Click HERE to continue reading.

To Longtime Subscribers: I love you! And see the bottom of this Newsletter for A Note About Reposting This Month’s Demonic-Themed Newsletters

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Why Whining Is Remarkably Preferable To Actually Acting Maturely

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boy opening his mouth

I proved to you that I am mature HERE. However, I prefer whining, usually. It’s less risky.

To Longtime Subscribers: I love you! And see the bottom of this Newsletter for A Note About Reposting This Month’s Demonic-Themed Newsletters

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

How To BE Physically Stronger Than You Actually ARE!

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man flexing muscles

So other times, I briefly referenced when I went to another country and how I accidentally (I didn’t mean to!) humiliated some people in a poverty-stricken town by winning some arm wrestling matches against the regional men because I was stronger than I appeared.1

I should explain, and give MY point of view so you can empathize with me.

Or maybe I should ask God for forgiveness for being a cultural horror, but it’s easier to convince you to feel sorry for me so that I can feel justified. Let’s go with the latter option today because I don’t have much time, and getting to a place of feeling bad about stuff I did wrong takes some time and effort.

First of all, we need some context.

It all started many years earlier when I also won (Do you notice a theme here – of me being a WINNER?) a push-up contest against someone much stronger and fitter than me, my older brother.

The following is what happened:

My brother was the kind of guy who ate chips and hot dogs at every meal and was usually found on the couch, vegging out and watching TV. Then he moved out, and the next time I saw him -Wow! – He got fit!

man in blue tank top and black shorts holding black dumbbell

The problem was that my self-esteem couldn’t easily handle this transition.

I have ALWAYS been the SUPER FIT one in the family (Proof HERE). “I MUST still be fitter than my couch potato brother!” I assumed.

“Yeah, you’re a little bit more fit than you were before you moved out,” I humbly admitted to my older brother. “But OF COURSE I’m STILL a LOT fitter than YOU!” My reality began to keel off-center when he challenged me to a push-up contest.

“HA!” I said with fake confidence, “OF COURSE!”

We settled on a tasty treat for a prize the OTHER sibling would pay for.

He bought me the prize because I WON (!) the push-up contest.

I want to end this Newsletter here, but my Editor (meanie) says I HAVE to finish this story for “Context” – whatever that means. So the next day, my brother shoveled sand and helped with other demanding physical labor around the house. (I couldn’t get out of bed for three days. My editor says I HAVE to put that part in there. But I don’t see how that statement is even relevant to the story!)

Anyway, how do we BECOME physically stronger than we ACTUALLY ARE? That’s easy! We fake it!

To soar through life, like I do, look down your nose at other people, and assume that you MUST BE better than them!

Then you’ll become a WINNER like me!

We may have to pay a bit in the next few days because we cannot get out of bed, but THINK OF THE GLORY that you will overshadow your brother and other rivals with!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Wait – The Point of this Newsletter doesn’t sit PERFECTLY with me today. Those who are more spiritually mature than I (and there AREN’T many of those!) mention something about sitting down and finding our TRUE identity as a child of God so that we are not hurting ourselves emotionally, physically or spiritually by trying to appear superior to who we are.

I keep forgetting stuff like that.

And once we really GET that stuff, then it’s okay EVEN to admit to being a loser! And the good news is that, thankfully, being a loser does not define us, either!

All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! . . .He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do . . .

The Message

And once we figure that stuff out, then we can tell the truth, EVEN about ourselves, and EVEN on the internet!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – I Feel This Strong Too! by Jakob Owens on Unsplash and Lorenzo Hamers on Unsplash

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1I can’t do everything right, ok?!