The Best, Simple Way To Enjoy Church? Be A Jerk!

/ Lori Lawe / 6 Comments

a group of people standing around a cross with balloons

Putting lots of chickens into a cage, cutting off their beaks, and letting them defecate on each other for their entire caged lives because we prefer our chicken sandwich to cost $1.99 instead of $2.56 has, at times, been my church culture.

This financial choice is a particular “church culture”, not “Kingdom living”.

Kingdom living says:

Good people are good to their animals; the “good-hearted” bad people kick and abuse them.

The Message

And so we dig deeper into our pockets, where it hurts, and place more coins on the counter for our lunch. OR heaven forbid, we eat a few more vegetables instead of another chicken sandwich because it’s cheaper than another piece of chicken, considering the actual cost of paying for cage-free birds.

This example is an aspect of a church culture (a common behavior) that I experienced many years ago, which I find frustrating.

Some of the very wise, and my heart goes out to you, dear friend, say, “That is not a healthy place,” and do not return to church. I do not blame you. I believe God does not blame you . . .

. . . though He is still pursuing you, dear friend.

Keep looking.

There are safe places to rest. But it might take a bit of seeking. And God will be (Sneakily!1) healing you as you seek a safe group of Jesus-seeking people to belong to. Who you started as won’t be the same person as who you end up as, which is half the joy of the process, actually.

And there will still be annoying parts of church culture to correct, no matter where you call home.

It’s the reason you’re there.

It’s the reason they need you.

Remember: Don’t just “fit in”! Disagree!

Be a jerk! Be you!

Instruct and direct one another using good common sense.

The Message

Been disgusted by Christian culture, or church culture, lately? I have too. Jesus was, too. His harshest comments were for the leaders of His church.

Ouch.

May our rears be sore from the spanking that Jesus gives us because it is better to have a sore rear than for our entire selves to be oozing pus from our unhealed diseases – the diseases of pride, love of money, prestige- that we are too proud to ask Jesus to heal.

However, within the mess and the brokenness of Christian culture, in pockets of beauty, is the joy of Christ’s message, called Kingdom living.

Thank you, Lord, for loving the mess that is your church, the mess that is me. Thank you that even here, in the charred remains of my heart, there lies an ember of love that you can fan into flame. Do your good work, dear Jesus. We pray to help us become Kingdom people, not merely robots of Christian culture.

Help those rightly offended by Christian culture to find a home in You, and with other broken people that You also (of course) love, we pray.

And friend, as you grow, learn, talk, and ask God (heaven forbid) for His perspective that is a BIT higher than ours, may you get a bit happier, too, as clearly proven HERE!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – Fun With Jesus And His Friends by BBC Creative on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1Oh. And a caveat about this approach is that you must be prepared for… clearing throat… you may be WRONG about ONE of the ideas you hold so dearly. For example, I am listening to a course on Food Ethics, and they are messing with my dogma. That’s when you MAY need some humility, BUT that is a later lesson, and I haven’t found any need to grow in that discipline yet.

How To BE Physically Stronger Than You Actually ARE!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
man flexing muscles

So other times, I briefly referenced when I went to another country and how I accidentally (I didn’t mean to!) humiliated some people in a poverty-stricken town by winning some arm wrestling matches against the regional men because I was stronger than I appeared.1

I should explain, and give MY point of view so you can empathize with me.

Or maybe I should ask God for forgiveness for being a cultural horror, but it’s easier to convince you to feel sorry for me so that I can feel justified. Let’s go with the latter option today because I don’t have much time, and getting to a place of feeling bad about stuff I did wrong takes some time and effort.

First of all, we need some context.

It all started many years earlier when I also won (Do you notice a theme here – of me being a WINNER?) a push-up contest against someone much stronger and fitter than me, my older brother.

The following is what happened:

My brother was the kind of guy who ate chips and hot dogs at every meal and was usually found on the couch, vegging out and watching TV. Then he moved out, and the next time I saw him -Wow! – He got fit!

man in blue tank top and black shorts holding black dumbbell

The problem was that my self-esteem couldn’t easily handle this transition.

I have ALWAYS been the SUPER FIT one in the family (Proof HERE). “I MUST still be fitter than my couch potato brother!” I assumed.

“Yeah, you’re a little bit more fit than you were before you moved out,” I humbly admitted to my older brother. “But OF COURSE I’m STILL a LOT fitter than YOU!” My reality began to keel off-center when he challenged me to a push-up contest.

“HA!” I said with fake confidence, “OF COURSE!”

We settled on a tasty treat for a prize the OTHER sibling would pay for.

He bought me the prize because I WON (!) the push-up contest.

I want to end this Newsletter here, but my Editor (meanie) says I HAVE to finish this story for “Context” – whatever that means. So the next day, my brother shoveled sand and helped with other demanding physical labor around the house. (I couldn’t get out of bed for three days. My editor says I HAVE to put that part in there. But I don’t see how that statement is even relevant to the story!)

Anyway, how do we BECOME physically stronger than we ACTUALLY ARE? That’s easy! We fake it!

To soar through life, like I do, look down your nose at other people, and assume that you MUST BE better than them!

Then you’ll become a WINNER like me!

We may have to pay a bit in the next few days because we cannot get out of bed, but THINK OF THE GLORY that you will overshadow your brother and other rivals with!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Wait – The Point of this Newsletter doesn’t sit PERFECTLY with me today. Those who are more spiritually mature than I (and there AREN’T many of those!) mention something about sitting down and finding our TRUE identity as a child of God so that we are not hurting ourselves emotionally, physically or spiritually by trying to appear superior to who we are.

I keep forgetting stuff like that.

And once we really GET that stuff, then it’s okay EVEN to admit to being a loser! And the good news is that, thankfully, being a loser does not define us, either!

All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! . . .He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do . . .

The Message

And once we figure that stuff out, then we can tell the truth, EVEN about ourselves, and EVEN on the internet!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credit – I Feel This Strong Too! by Jakob Owens on Unsplash and Lorenzo Hamers on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1I can’t do everything right, ok?!

Never Wanted To Be A Christian? My Bad! 2 Examples

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

Sorry about accidentally nudging you away from God. I was doing my best, ok?!

toddler holding her lips

This month’s prompt in my daily prayer book is to “pray for the people of Costa Rica to experience God.” Well, they will surely have a MUCH harder time with that because I visited Costa Rica! Oops!

Let me explain.

Previously, I talked about following the seeming nudges of God to attend a spiritual school.

We did some travelling as part of this bible school I attended and went to the POOREST of the poor in Costa Rica for a couple of weeks, where people earned an average of two dollars per day.

We decided we would build them a new church!

Our group was “billeted” in the little shanty town with barely a roof over our heads. We worked earnestly and “for the Lord” by first taking apart, brick by brick, the small one-room building that operated as their local church. An AMAZING aside was that this building was next to the largest mango tree I had ever seen. We would sit in the tree on breaks and eat mangos until our stomachs were so distended and sore we could barely work.

But we continued our work, laboring EVEN in discomfort and sometimes pain because of our distended bellies for the Lord’s work!

Anyway, after much sweat and tears (And winning a few arm wrestling matches against the smaller Costa Rican full-grown men in our group – that’s another story1 and not my best moment – granted), we finally achieved the FIRST half of our goal. We successfully dismantled their existing church to make way for the new building we would build!

Forget about what’s happened . . . I’m about to do something brand-new.

The Message

Then we waited, as the new church’s building materials hadn’t arrived yet. We spent a LOT of time sitting in that mango tree, and continued to bless others with our presence despite MORE sore stomachs from continuing to overeat mangos! Sometimes we must endure suffering; however, as we dutifully do the Lord’s work!

The rest of the story (which I don’t WANT to write here but my editor says I have to for “Literary Continuity”) is that shh… the supplies for the new church didn’t arrive in time, and then we had to leave.

So YES!

We DID “help” the most impoverished people I had ever spent time with so far in my life by:

  1. Destroying their church
  2. Eating every mango on their largest tree
  3. Flying back home to our 1st world nations with a wave and a smile.

“You’re welcome! Good luck!” we called out to them!

THE POINT?

STOP looking at the people in Jesus’ club.2 (They’re all losers!) Look at Him. He’s the only cool one.

You’ll WANT to follow Jesus on the adventure of a lifetime as He woos you to follow Him, if you STOP looking at his friends and start looking at Him.

Start learning more HERE?

Photo Credit – Oops! by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 Yes, I called out and chose the shortest Costa Rican man to arm wrestle with me. Obviously, I picked him because he was smaller than the others, but because of his need to avoid cultural humiliation, he couldn’t decline arm wrestling with a measly WOMAN! (Note that Costa Rica is much further ahead with women’s rights than the red-necked town I grew up in, but don’t spoil my superiority complex!)

Yes, his self-esteem would be decimated if I won the arm wrestling match (I did win), but my “Ego Needs” (as my Psychologist calls them) matter too! I will share THE FULL story of this event another time.

2 Oh! And you’re a loser too, but you’ll figure that out later after reading more of that book. You’re welcome! Good luck!

don’t take yourself too seriously – take God seriously

The Message

How To Make God Like YOU Better Than OTHERS!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a man holding a laptop

The question that keeps me up at night is:

How can God like me BEST, BETTER than other people?

My “Therapist” (What does SHE know?) says that these thoughts of comparison and drivenness are rooted in some sort of neurosis deep down, but I doubt that! Anyway, practically speaking, don’t we ALL want the teacher to like US best? Or the boss? Or even our friends?

Of course!

So, those are the types of questions that keep me up at night. And then God seemed to help me understand how to be his favorite! (I DO know that sentence is “Officially” a “Heresy” or whatever, but stay with me, because what God showed me is -Surprise! – theologically accurate, once you understand my point!)

Anyway, this is what happened.

It seemed God was highlighting the word “Beautiful” to a few of us.

How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!

Ancient Text

There was something God wanted to reveal to us about this word.

As shown in this quote below, God isn’t quite as hung up about physical beauty as we are.

“Looks aren’t everything . . . God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

The Message

So He couldn’t be talking about that.

And in my prayer time, God seemed to show me a picture of two golden cups, one tarnished1, one polished.

Does one of these cups have less value? He seemed to ask my soul.

No! Of course not. Bought by a gold buyer, they would pay equally for both cups as they have EQUAL value.

So it is with my children, He seemed to whisper.

I think God was saying that ALL of his children have EQUAL VALUE in His eyes.

But some are a little more polished or beautiful.

I wondered how to polish oneself. I suddenly realized that a cup can’t polish itself! “How do we get polished a bit more?” I wondered

Let Me polish you, He seemed to whisper. As you draw near to me and seek me, I am polishing you.

And so I thought I would share what I learned here today with you so that maybe God will EVEN like you as much as He likes me!

Or maybe The Point is that:

If we knew how much God valued and loved us, we wouldn’t care how much He loved anyone else.

And I felt calmed, somehow, loved, and like I could finally take my unbearable list of “To-Do” items, the ones that I unconsciously think will help God to “like me” a bit more, and put it over there, far away, in the pile of stuff that God longs to burn. And I felt a bit more free. Maybe I don’t need to be better than others.

My therapist must be wrong!

(At least, I think that’s what she was getting at. See Paragraph One, above, but I am a bit confused whenever she speaks if I’m honest).

God LIKES me, as I already proved definitely HERE. And He LIKES you, too, and finds you more and more beautiful as you allow Him to purify your golden cup in the fire of His Presence. And there is our freedom.

If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, read this ancient story and let the metaphor sit inside your heart for a bit as you ponder, reflect and thank God for this truth.

(And God will be polishing your gold cup a bit more, even as you do this, friend.)

Photo Credit – Good News! by Jade Destiny on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 (*I DO know that only silver tarnishes in real life, not gold, but this is a metaphor, remember? And I believe God considers each of His children to be of the highest value, of gold, so that’s why gold is in the picture. Can we return to the point now?)

Kid Moved Out? So What? (3 Keys That Will Make Your Life Transition Successful)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

a woman sitting in the middle of a movie theater

In the last Newsletter, I said I would offer advice for how to transition gracefully to life’s next season.

I forgot actually to say something that would help you in that Newsletter. Hey, I never promised I would say something useful! I purposefully crafted the fine print in the Terms and Conditions of this site to avoid high expectations. Wow! People expect so much nowadays!

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

The Guaranteed Perspective Of The Mind That Will Make You Transition Well To Your Next Season

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

person crossing net bridge

I wrote something sappy about kids growing up last time, and another time about sending our first kid off to college.

If you haven’t read those Newsletters yet, I’ll summarize them for you: Whiny, whiny, boo-hoo, cry, send our kid away… boring, boring. But this is the thing that really bothers me, as I think about it a bit more.

It’s unfair that we are expected to send our kids away just when they become helpful!

Click HERE to continue reading.

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

Come Homeschool! The Fruit Of Love In The Heart Is A Powerful Gift Of Fall

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

apple fruit on trees

I felt joy rise in my heart that day as I took another bite of an apple at the fall picnic.

I lay on the blanket, watching my children frolicking in the water nearby and delighted in another bite of the fall fruit someone had picked from the apple tree above us.

And I offer the fruit of my labor to them, to the world, as I watch my Homeschooled children help the younger ones pull themselves up on the log in the water.

These are kind people, our children.

And as their sibling bickers reach me even here, far away, I am reminded that though they are still annoying, as all of us humans are, still, the fruit from this fall season, of a season of Homeschooling has been good.

I delight in this.

We had to live with these humans, so we were forced to prune the trees and apply fertilizer even though it stung them sometimes.

We couldn’t turn aside and try to forget unbecoming behavior in our children because the school bus was coming soon. We saw them again at lunch, and then they were still there right after lunch, an hour later, and into the evening. This behavior has GOT to be dealt with. This rot in the heart has GOT to be addressed, we would finally admit.

Love drove us out of hiding.

“Show us how You see each child,” we would beg our God in prayer, longing for His picture of them, which was the sun and rain they needed to flourish.

One child was like a strong tree that would grow a thick branch in just a moment, but it grew directly into another sibling’s eye, or into my face – Ouch! Jesus would offer us a saw. Prune the tree, He would remind us.

And so, we did.

And then God pruned my tree, too.

A lot of sweat has gone into the farming of my fall crop. We had many seasons of scraping and tilling hard earth under the hot sun. We didn’t make a lot of progress. But sometimes we would delight to find a small patch of rich, dark soil, and we would quickly plant something there in their hearts before they noticed. And some of these offerings took root, though many plants languished or had to be replanted.

But the gardens of their hearts were tended as God tended my heart simultaneously, teaching me to love.

And God quickly planted something, a small plant in a tiny patch of rich soil that He found in my heart one day, soil among a seemingly endless expanse of hard, clay-baked earth. He planted it that day when I wasn’t looking. Homeschool, he bid my heart before this schooling adventure began.

And the tears came whenever Homeschooling was mentioned for reasons I couldn’t articulate, watering the soil around my heart a bit more with the sacrifice of this massive gardening project.

But it was worth it.

And as another graying hair testifies to a beginning fall season of my life, I remember the fruit in my heart that was not there before this gardening adventure, and I am thankful that God had been tilling my soul all along, too.

And so, I took another bite of that apple, feeling happy.

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit.

The Message

Is God calling and beckoning you toward Homeschooling, friend?

Or to another adventure, perhaps?

Get going, friend! Start now! The fruit of following Jesus on an adventure is worth all the hard labor of past seasons.

And may you savor many fall apples, explosive in flavor, as God scrapes off the edges of each other, not unlike iron sharpening iron, as love pours from God’s heart through us, through our kids, and then to the world.

And I took another bite of that fall apple.

And I felt love swell in my heart with each bite, love that came with this harvest.

Photo Credit – Apples Ready For Harvest by Timotheus Fröbel on Unsplash

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

How To NOT Flush Yourself Down The Toilet!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a black and white photo of a bird flying in the sky

So I was a bird, soaring in the clear blue sky, when someone down far below aimed their shotgun towards me (or towards something close to me?) and fired. I fell like a lead weight to the ground and landed with a painful “thud”. When I carefully examined myself, I couldn’t find a gunshot wound.

The shot must have just grazed my ear (Wait – Do birds have ears – WHATEVER!).

The point is that I was down on the ground again, walking on two feet, eyes looking as down as my soul.

Even when we beat the odds and finally learn to fly, we can sink back to earth so quickly, don’t you find?

But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

The Message

“What the heck is she going on about now?” you ask each other, popcorn in hand and trying to find the “Rewind” button on the video of this Newsletter. I will explain. I will now put on my (almost) Psychotherapist hat and enlighten you on another great truth that will help you soar through life1.

a man and woman looking at each other

THE POINT:

When our thoughts tear us down, my friend from England calls this “Going down the tube.” For them, a Tube can mean “Toilet!” As in, the “overflow tube” on a toilet where stuff goes when it is flushed! My friend talks about how our thoughts can make us circle the drain, which eventually has approximately the same effect as flushing ourselves down the toilet. Haha! A vivid picture, but something we all do very often, if we’re honest.

For me, (hypothetically speaking, of course) it looked something like this yesterday:

When you are spiraling, remembering in vivid detail the time the mean girl laughed at you in Grade 4, followed by the time you were rejected by THE boy of the century (What was his name again?) in Grade 7, and this was all instigated by the checkout clerk at the grocery store who forgot to glance at you today as she said, “Have a nice day,” your self-esteem (of course) suddenly plummets like that bird in the sky.

So do this, friend:

(1)   Ask God something

(2)   Ask God something else

Above is the framework.

Below is specifically what you ask:

(1)   What is a picture, God, of what is NOT true?

(2)   What is a picture, God, of what IS true?

We quiet our hearts and minds, bring our tangled emotions to God, and ask Him for His perspective.

For example, I did this exact exercise yesterday when I had the VERY RARE occasion of feeling a bit nuts, though I had no idea why, and EVEN MY HAIR was combed that day, so that I couldn’t have been plummeting because of that.

I had a picture of me trying to grasp something just out of reach, something on the top shelf that I wasn’t tall enough to grab, but that I REALLY wanted.

This picture represented the lie I believed, and I immediately remembered something I wanted that didn’t seem like God would give to me.

Then I asked God, “What is the truth?” of this situation, and I saw a picture in my mind’s eye as I sat in prayer of God reaching down from Heaven to pull something off the top shelf – not exactly what I wanted, but something nearby, something smaller, and handing it to me. I enjoyed this item immensely, like a child enjoying a giant lollipop that was precisely the right size to satisfy her sweet tooth and no bigger.

white and red lollipop on blue background

Then I saw that the thing I REALLY wanted was so heavy for my puny arms that even if God did give it to me, I would drop it on my foot and it would crush my toes.

The thing I REALLY wanted wasn’t best for me. Like the things kids sometimes REALLY want, such as a 50-kilogram cake that will only make them sick if they get it. Good parents KNOW what is BEST for their kids, what will satisfy even the desires within them that aren’t fully developed yet (Like for a hunk of broccoli with that cheeseburger now and then).

Could I trust Him?

And then I was soaring again, and not even the fear of missing out or being shot out of the sky by my neuroses could stop me from soaring on the wind!

Try it!

Why not ask God what keeps you in “Nuts” instead of “Joy”?

As the song below sings, “You know what I need”, reflect on this awhile, and then consider asking God, “What is a picture of something that I am struggling with in my life that is NOT the truth?” And “Can You show me your perspective, the truth, about this situation?”

And I hope you can stay soaring in the sky a bit longer next time, friend!

“Who will give me wings,” I ask – “wings like a dove?” Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet.

The Message

Or, at least, I hope you become a bit less nuts!

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Photo Credits – Bird Soaring (?) Falling (?) – You Decide! by viswaprem anbarasapandian on Unsplash, Giving Advice To Help Another! by Fotos on Unsplash (I am symbolically on the RIGHT in this photo – Which reminds me: I also give helpful marriage advice, such as the FREE advice found HERE and HERE!)

Thank you for liking me! I like you too! Let’s journey together!

1 I learned a helpful tip about this lately, from Mark Virkler and shout out to him, who ACTUALLY has useful stuff to say on HIS website (Show-off!)!