Lose Fear With This Simple Life Hack!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
pug covered with blanket on bedspread
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

I know why you couldn’t sleep last night, tossing and turning.

I know why you are looking at me wide-eyed and wondering how you can live your life authentically.

I didn’t publish a blog post last Friday like I usually do, and THEREFORE, your normal rhythms for coping through life have been disrupted because I didn’t tell you how to live your life this weekend!

But first, I will explain why I didn’t write a blog post.

It was because I was busy. What was I doing? Remember in this blog post when I mentioned that our Pastor is a crazy nutcase because he travels to politically volatile places?

The places he visits for a fun vacation are some of the poorest countries on earth, riddled with civil war, genocide and other stuff we don’t like to think about because we need to get to Walmart and back before the ball game starts and if we think about other stuff, we may forget to buy all the snacks we need for the game. We all have a lot of things going on and to think about already – Thank you very much!

Anyway, while we were busy cleaning out our garage last week, I suddenly thought, “Why not join our Pastor on one of these trips to an unstable country?”

So, that’s why I didn’t write a blog post. Our Pastors had to talk me off the window ledge of my fear to jump into the unknown*. Should we go to the place where the worst day there is EVEN WORSE than my worst day, for example?

person wearing pair of black Nike shoes sitting on metal frame
Photo by Omar Prestwich on Unsplash

When I researched one of these countries, it seemed EVEN MORE DANGEROUS than our family vacation to Disneyland last year!

During that vacation, we got stranded in a shady area of Los Angeles, and no Ubers came because it was the night of the Oscars and they were busy driving celebrities. Luckily, an LA city bus driver held the bus and waited for us for 20 minutes until we could connect with another ride because the bus driver didn’t want us left alone there (How sweet!). So don’t worry, Mom! (She reads this blog.)

And so, what is the simple life hack to losing fear?

Find someone who is doing something stupid, and mindlessly follow them!

Since you are doing something scary, you no longer have to fear your fear!

So, our motto this weekend is:

  1. Do what you fear, and the death of fear is certain!

Another helpful thought for you to mull over as you continue to ponder this topic of losing fear is to consider the second reason why I didn’t write a blog post this weekend. It was because I spent many hours binge-watching a new historical period drama this weekend. So, another motto for this weekend is:

  1. Distract yourself with online entertainment so you don’t have to think about how to live well!

Choose your motto with whichever one fits best, and remember to read every blog post so I can help you live your life more authentically!

P.S. – There’s probably a third motto for how to shake fear and live authentically, but I haven’t figured that one out yet.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Footnotes

*There is not civil war in that country right now, as there was when these events happened to Chrissy Chapman, so it’s likely not quite as unsafe as I’m pretending it is, but stay with me for the emotional effects of this blogpost that I’m trying to create.

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Finding God’s Unexpected Path To Healing Is Actually Easy?

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
grayscale photography of girl lying near field
Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

She was a shell. She was skinny, sickly, and often lost in her little world.

Her stomach racked her in pain. Friends were elusive. She was unhappy, never having exploded in childhood giggles that should have been her right.

My husband and I oscillated between worry and confidence that she would grow out of “this.” One of us, either he or I, carried the ball of fear for this child. The ball never went away.

Occupational and physical therapists dribbled through our home – in and out – like a constant stream, reminding us that something wasn’t quite “right.” The ball of concern for our child, which we took turns carrying, grew heavier.

Doctors punctuated our lives.

An exclamation point with a specialist doctor in September. A question mark with that prominent city specialist who visited in April. The regular full stops of our home doctor, where “many” childhood milestones were missed, again, were a part of the regular background noise.

The cloud of “something” felt suffocating.

It was hard to breathe.

And doctors get so concerned nowadays. Our other daughter was told she “might” have a problem detectable only by modern medicine (pulmonary stenosis!), and yet that asymptomatic “problem” mysteriously resolved itself only a few years later.

“Would the same thing happen with this other daughter?” I wondered on the days when my husband carried our ball of worry.

And then it happened.

God’s voice was carried by the wind of the Spirit that day as I chatted with a friend about her struggling child.

“Try it.”

What now? I looked around, wondering if I had heard right. My heart sensed my Father’s love for me and my daughter as He spoke. Was I imagining things, though?

“Could you repeat that?” I asked

Nothing. Stillness. Quiet.

Had I heard correctly?

I had been learning that God speaks when we remember to attach our spiritual ears. I bent down to look for my spiritual ears which seemed to have fallen off again. Had He spoken?

At the moment that I wondered if God was nudging me, my good friend had been talking about a special diet – Yes, a special diet – that she was preparing for her son, who had developmental delays.

Diet?

But that’s not what the specialists EVER recommended!

But that was what was working for him. I felt God was asking me to try this same approach. Would I obey?

And so, how are we led on God’s specific, chosen path for our lives and families that usher in His healing?

  1. We pick up our spiritual ears and attach them to our heads. Oh! There are your spiritual ears lying next to you on the ground! Shall we learn how to use them?
  2. We do what God says.

That’s it.

And oh – our daughter was healed. But that’s a story for another time.

By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told. . . . As a result, Noah became intimate with God.

The Message

An additional fun result of following Jesus where He leads is buried within the quote above if our eyes are open – Intimacy with God! Wow.

As the song below plays, ask Holy Spirit, “What is the ONE NEXT step, or person you want me to ask advice from, regarding this problem in my life that is literally burning a hole in my gut?”

God:

  • Help us look for our ears, re-attach them so they stick, and pick them up again when they fall off.
  • May our hearts be strengthened by knowing how You delight in watching us take our baby steps toward You.
  • Help us to drink a bigger glass of the gift of Your love, which often carries healing for our bodies, minds and spirits.

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Advice: Stop Being Afraid Of The Wrong Thing! Become Fearless (By Fearing This)! Part 2

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
person jumping on big rock under gray and white sky during daytime
Photo by The Chaffins on Unsplash

Previously, we talked about the fear that sometimes descends over our culture like an unwelcome blanket, smothering us. And yet, we cling to our fear as a self-soothing exercise. We are used to it

How do we throw away the fear that always seems to linger on our hands, like unwanted gum we are trying to put in the trash?

We can’t entirely eradicate fear.

The reality is that we are tiny little people, and who knows? A comet may arrive in ten minutes, throwing us into another ice age like it did for the dinosaurs. Then we’re hooped!

But this, ironically, like all my best advice, is where we find some of our hope.

What if we didn’t fear “death” (I said THE word!) QUITE so very much?

It is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty, purposeless lives

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This one fear, the fear of death, instead of being a blanket that twists itself around our neck, strangling us, is the one fear that can ultimately comfort us.

For example, it doesn’t matter to me whether I get two likes or one like on a post (No, that wasn’t 2,000 likes or 1,000 likes – Why do you ask?) when I remember that one day, I will die.

So, one of the best ways to eliminate a bunch of our lingering fears, it turns out, is to confront the biggest, most terrifying fear looming in our bellies’ most bottomless pit.

It’s to confront our mortality.

So, how do we recognize our mortality, though we (kind of) don’t want to?

When we realize that we are resting in the palm of our Saviour’s hand and that His love is the warm blanket that comforts us, we find we can sleep a bit easier, and this life is a little easier to live.

But what if we’re having trouble grasping hold of God as we clench our frightened fists around His Spirit, grasping for something to hold onto?

What if we reach out to touch God, and our fingers, instead, only close around thin air?

Well, let’s return to something I learned in university while wrestling most deeply with this question. (Don’t you find that you thought more interesting things in university? These days, the thing I seem to think about most is when I can next grab some deep-fried chicken or chocolate cheesecake.)

When I wrestled most deeply with this question at University, the philosophical argument called Pascal’s Wager, was a great balm to my soul.

Here it is, summarized. A fuller version can be found here:

  • There is not enough evidence to know with ABSOLUTE certainty that God exists, the mathematician and physicist Blaise Pascal began.
  • So, a game is being played with the endpoint of our deaths. What will be the outcome after our death?
  • The MOST RATIONAL choice is NOT to play this game.
  • However, NOT playing the game is not a choice. We all must die therefore we all MUST play the game.
  • When we play the game, we are wagering on God.
  • If we believe there is a God, and there is, we gain ALL.
  • If we believe there is a God and there is not, we lose NOTHING.

Wager, then, without hesitation that He is. (…) There is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite.

Blaise Pascal

As the song plays, consider asking God, “Am I afraid of the right things?” When we face our fear of death, a most surprising thing happens. Other fears seem to fly away somewhere!

Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?

The Message

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Afraid Your Homeschooled Child Won’t Fit In The World? Teach This One Life Skill!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
selective focus photo of boy standing on grey pavement
Photo by Terricks Noah on Unsplash

Today, I thought I’d teach you how to bond with your homeschooled kid by swearing at him!

This advice is a real-world example from my own life. 

The weirdest stuff in life is true, so that’s how you can be assured I am telling the truth today.

So, one day, I found my 12-year-old looking downcast and despondent. 

Click here to continue reading this (previously published) post.

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Advice: Stop Being Afraid Of The Wrong Thing! Become Fearless (By Fearing This)! Part 1

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
girl in white hoodie jacket lying on green grass
Photo by Khashayar Kouchpeydeh on Unsplash

When she was in the hospital, only a few days before her death, my fierce, feisty, 89-and-a-half-year-old grandmother fixed her intense blue eyes on me and said the one thing I never thought she would say.

“Lori,” she said, “I never thought this would happen so soon!”

She was talking about death.

My mind was like one of those old-fashioned calculators that was overheating, trying all different ways to understand what she was saying to me. In the end, was she saying that she was 89 and a half years old and hadn’t figured out that she could die soon? Yup.

That’s exactly what she said.

Of course, the fact that we die was not a truth that my grandmother was wholly unaware of. This fact approached her through all the deaths she witnessed during the Great Depression and the Second World War. However, this knowledge seemed to approach her from the side, not head-on. Unfortunately, she suffered from anxiety in her long life and feared a lot of stuff. But she was too busy fearing other stuff to remember to fear everything!

And so, you’re probably afraid of the wrong things, too.

You cringe at home, cornered up against the wall, afraid. I know. I can see you.

Actually, I can’t see you, but we all kind of live that way.

Sometimes, it feels like a blanket of fear settles over us all. And this fear comforts us somehow, just like a blanket comforts us from the cold. The only problem is that as it comforts, it also eats away at our souls, destroying us.

a neon sign that says fear eats the soul
Photo by Amelia Vu on Unsplash

I pondered how to avoid fear as I read the book The Night The Angels Came about missionary Chrissie Chapman, who chose to spend her life in war-torn Burundi instead of peaceful Britain.

One day, she had a really bad week.

It was a bad week in a way that our first-world minds can’t really wrap our heads around. For example, her child was kidnapped. Yup. Seriously. That same week, a grenade was accidentally thrown into their yard as civil war was fought outside their house, and a gunshot bent the frame of her bedroom window.

Then, she was held up at gunpoint for a bag of rice due (in part) to food scarcity.

I look downstairs at my freezer, which is full of food, and I can’t remember what’s in it. So, I have a hard time relating to food scarcity. What a privileged culture we live in, in so many ways.

And yet, I know precisely how author Chrissie Chapman feels because I’ve had bad weeks, too!

I’ve had a bad week where fear was like a blanket, wrapping itself around my neck and choking me, too.

For example, one day this summer there was a clear blue sky, and the birds were singing. I live in peaceful rural North America, where the deer that eat my tulips are the most irritating intruders. (Why? Why do they have to do that?)

And yet, as I looked around, my heart was a cancer full of fear, consuming me.

What about those things in the news that might happen? What about that stuff I read on social media that might occur? And the worst question is, What if I’m worried about the wrong things?

So, as illustrated in the paragraph above, I can exactly relate to Burundian author Chrissy Chapman and her fears!

I’m just like her because my (peaceful) world makes me feel afraid, too!

And so how do we throw off the blanket of suffocating fear?

Let’s talk about that next Tuesday in Part 2 of this post.

For now, let’s constantly ponder . . . (that thing we never think about, that we all pretend will never happen).

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Shhh. . . but:

(You learn more at a funeral than at a feast)

The Message

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Finding God Is Easy! It’s Just Like Finding Our Abs!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
woman in gray top
Photo by Tachina Lee on Unsplash

I choked on my coffee and almost fell over when I overheard my daughter’s online science class this morning. Here’s what was said, verbatim, because this is from the online recording.* (I’m not even exaggerating this time!)

Student: “They were so old they should have been hospitalized!” (Lori’s comment: I didn’t know there was an “age” at which hospitalization occurs!)

Teacher: “About how old?”

Student: “I dunno- Maybe 40 or 50 years old!”

My reaction reflected the fact that I personally MIGHT be INCHING toward (or way past) one of those ages this youth deemed as “should be hospitalized.”

That discussion inspired the post today – I know that none of us like to say this out loud or admit that this is a reality, but one day, I started growing older!

At around the same time, I noticed I had lost my abs.

I had always had abs as a youth. I even tree-planted (which means I’m tough), and that’s how I got some of those muscles.

man standing in front of LED bulbs
Photo by Xenia Bogarova on Unsplash

But somehow, one morning, when I woke up, my abs weren’t there anymore! I looked around, trying to find them. Then I learned that when you’re older, a higher percentage of your body turns into fat.

For example, here’s a chart of ideal body fat percentages aligned to age.

“Dang!” I thought that morning. “My abs turned into fat!”

“Oh well,” was my next thought. I had already dejectedly accepted my fate. A took another sip of my coffee and stared at the morning news.

I already said this in another post, but you weren’t listening, so I will repeat it.

(I mean, who has time to listen anymore? Especially when we all have so much to say! We only have 2 hours and 24 minutes to vent our passionate, frustrating irks on social media daily! And no, I’m not talking about me listening to you. I’m talking about you listening to me! Why don’t YOU listen to ME?)

So, I wanted to say I lost weight.

When that happened, I realized that my abs hadn’t turned to fat. They were covered in fat! And when the extra stuff was gone, there they were!

My abs came out from hiding.

Some of you are wondering where God is, as well. Maybe you knew Him for a while or had an experience of Him, just like I had abs when I was younger, but now where is He? Well, here’s the good news:

He’s right there, under your fat!

Under your spiritual fat, that is. He’s been with you this whole time! All you need to do is get rid of some of the junk.

It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. 

The Message

As the song below plays, ask God, “What garbage do you want me to bring to the curb? And what one next step do I need to take to stretch out my hand to receive the beautiful gift of Your love that You long to pour out on me affectionately?” (I pray you make the exchange, friend.)

And may you find your abs, too! I mean God.

Footnotes

*Yes! They record classes online now! Those poor teachers! Do YOU want your every frustration toward insolent youth recorded? Thank God they haven’t yet figured out how to record every word we homeschooling parents utter! If you find yourself accidentally emitting a mischievous word, here’s a tip to cover up the incident.

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

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The Truth About The Best Way To Live – Don’t Try So Hard

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment

This is my best advice!

woman sitting on grass field during sunset
Photo by Matteo Vistocco on Unsplash

Sometimes, we try too hard as we journey through life.

Ironically, our lives often improve when we don’t try as hard.

For example, we all realize by now, I’m sure, that a good life consists of:

1) Beautiful hair,

2) Productive work, and

3) Healthy desires.

(Yes, this is a list curated from my own experience. Why do you ask?)

To expound:

Click here to continue reading this (previously published) post.

Simple Mistakes That Make You Celebrate Halloween Like A Loser!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
group of men in black and yellow crew neck t-shirts sitting on green grass field
Photo by Joppe Spaa on Unsplash

I was in Dollarama minding my business when a stranger opened her heart to me.

I was as surprised then as you are now, reading this. We were standing near the Halloween decorations, and as she vented, more of her heart came out. “I’m just not sure I agree with these gross decorations and letting my kids dress up as such violent characters.”

Perhaps it was because my homeschooled kids had commented as they walked by the Halloween decor along the lines that the costuming was icky.

I’m unsure if that made this stranger feel I could be her confidante. It seemed she was processing her thoughts aloud as she let them out. But this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

Maybe it’s the fact that more people are accidentally getting themselves in trouble stepping into actual demonic realms, or maybe it’s because skull and demon fashion decor trends are dipping, but we clearly have modern Halloween bystanders who seem uncertain about the whole thing, especially the more disgusting the decor becomes.

But we’re not talking about that today.

We’re talking about how not to look like a loser on Halloween!

To me, Halloween feels like the desire to hang out with the cool kids, but thinking that the cool kids are a bit gross. There’s this cultural desire, or maybe the pull of candy and the fun of dressing up, because I want to play, too! But really? Why are there cut-off body parts right there?

Anyway, let’s talk about how to avoid celebrating Halloween like a loser.

To do that we will need to learn some history.

The eve of All Saints Day, or All Hollows Day (shortened to Halloween) was a day initially designed to celebrate God’s victory and even to mock the devil’s defeat.

“Let’s get free of God!” . . . Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing. At first he’s amused at their presumption. . .

The Message

We’re saying to the devil that, “Hey! You’re on the losing team because Jesus has defeated you on the cross!” But when we honor and try to lift the satanic, like those 10-foot demon statues sometimes put on lawns, were saying “I’m voting for the losing team!”

And that’s how we celebrate Halloween like a loser.

So how do we celebrate Halloween like a winner?

Again, let’s turn to history.

On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther set the world on fire by birthing a reformation within the Catholic church (He did this by nailing his “Theses” to a church door -The modern precursor to email).

On October 31, nearly 400 years later, the Welsh Revival was birthed, and 80,000 people decided to follow Christ in less than four months (That was more than simply a good marketing campaign!) This move of God then spread around the world.

October 31 is a day of great victory for God!

So let’s dress up, enjoy hot chocolate and friendship, and celebrate like a winner. Jesus won the ultimate victory, although that victory hasn’t seen its full fruition yet and won’t until He comes back again. But we know where the final victory lies!

So we can celebrate October 31 like winners.

And so, stick with me if you want to be cool at Halloween!

O.K., you might not be cool, but at least you won’t celebrate with the losing team!

And that’s one step toward fitting in with our culture, being cool so people will like us, and making sure we’re doing the same things as everyone else regardless of whether or not our gut instincts wonder if we’re celebrating with the right team! (See first paragraph).

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

Considering Satanism? So Is Ned Flanders! Here’s Useful Information You Need To Know!

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
a couple of stuffed animals sitting on top of a fire hydrant
Photo by Phil Hearing on Unsplash

Once, I was mistaken for Ned Flanders (the ultra-Christian), not in person, but in my writing. Ned and I are pals, actually!

Ned and I are in the same group because we aren’t allowed to expel anyone (I.e., those who aren’t cool enough) from the Jesus club. And that’s a good thing, in hindsight, because what if they wouldn’t accept me? But we’re not talking about that today.

We’re talking about Satanism!

In brief, Satanism to me:

  1. Sounds nice!
  2. Until you realize you got tricked into Satanism!

I’ll try to explain.

I began researching Satanism when my friend Ned Flanders said, “Gee, Lori! This group sounds cool!” He sent me some of the stuff he was learning, like these seven fundamental tenets of The Satanic Temple. Christianity has the same principles (Admittedly, “tenets” sound fancier than “principles” though)!

Let’s explore the similarities between the seven tenets of the Satanic Temple, and some key principles of Christianity.

Satanic tenet #1: One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

Christian principle: Amen! For example, the book we like best says the second most important command is to: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’

Satanic tenet #2: The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

Christian principle: Amen! Last year, this organization, International Justice Mission, convicted 1,244 traffickers and abusers in local courts, and is a Christian organization! Do Satanists have a similar organization?

Satanic tenet #3: One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

Christian principle: Amen! An unborn baby’s body is inviolable, subject to their own will alone!

Satanic tenet #4: The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.

Christian principle: Amen! Jesus was the king of being offensive to certain people! For example, he once said this a bunch of people! “You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded?” By the way, being called a snake was NOT a compliment back then! (In case you think it might be because you have a snake on your logo?)

Satanic tenet #5: Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.

Christian principle: Amen! There are many noteworthy Christian scientists including Francis Bacon (who invented the scientific method by the way), Isaac Newton, Louis Pasteur, Francis Collins, and many, many others (including me!) Also, check out this this guy who talks a lot about science and Christianity! Also check out this post!

Satanic tenet #6: People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

Christian principle: Amen! For example, Jesus taught us to pray like this: Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.

Satanic tenet #7: Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Christian principle: Amen! We agree that the spirit of compassion, wisdom and justice SHOULD ALWAYS prevail over YOUR written or spoken word!

“Come and join our little club!” the tenants of Satanism suggest.

These seven tenets sound like Christianity or at least like something that regular people strive toward! (“Oh, and we also rip pages out of Bibles and have strange rituals including black mass and maiming ourselves with cigars, but that’s not a big deal!” they’ll mention later.)

So, I put my arm around my friend Ned Flanders and said, “If you want to be kind to others, go ahead and do that!” You don’t need to burn the book that is the pillar of our privileged culture in a weird ceremony or call yourself a Satanist to be kind and reasonable! (“Huh? What now?” said someone who just started reading this post).

What often happens instead is that you’ll get wrapped up in a whole lot more than you bargained for by joining this kind of a group – a group that seems great on the outside because it sounds a lot like the principles of Christianity, but is actually on the opposite team of truth.

Don’t fall for it, friend.

(Extricate the lies.)

You’re welcome!

Good luck!

How To Actually Find Yourself! (Can We Start With Me?)

/ Lori Lawe / Leave a comment
woman in black jacket holding black smartphone
Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash

So how do we find ourselves?

We write some stuff, publish it online, and then ask THEM who we are!

What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here – and, by extension, what we’re supposed to be writing.

Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird

For example, I’ve been trying to figure out why people are reading this Substack for a while, and despite my careful research, I haven’t thought up any reasons!

(You already know why I like you.)

And since we’re talking about defining ourselves by how many people on the internet like us, can you please complete this (quick) survey to help me determine why you like me?

Do you subscribe/read these posts because:

  1. I am cool? I.e., You like the funny posts?
  2. You need me to tell you how to homeschool? I.e., You like the homeschooling posts?
  3. You want to grow spiritually and haven’t had time to find someone who actually knows what they are talking about? I.e., You like the spiritually-themed posts?
  4. You want to eat healthier? I.e., You are looking for healthy food inspiration?
  5. You want to be smacked upside the head for being a self-centered jerk? I.e., You like the posts about living sustainably?
  6. Your ego is also so huge that you think you can save the world, too? I.e., you like the posts about climate?
  7. Other reasons? I.e., WHAT kind of future content are you hoping for? Please let me know in the comments below!

(I’m writing for you, actually, even though I pretend I’m not. Don’t tell my ego. And I DO want to help you find a cup of cold water or to share whatever lint or whatever else I can find here in my pocket if you want it.)

You’re welcome!

Good luck!