When she was in the hospital, only a few days before her death, my fierce, feisty, 89-and-a-half-year-old grandmother fixed her intense blue eyes on me and said the one thing I never thought she would say.
“Lori,” she said, “I never thought this would happen so soon!”
She was talking about death.
My mind was like one of those old-fashioned calculators that was overheating, trying all different ways to understand what she was saying to me. In the end, was she saying that she was 89 and a half years old and hadn’t figured out that she could die soon? Yup.
That’s exactly what she said.
Of course, the fact that we die was not a truth that my grandmother was wholly unaware of. This fact approached her through all the deaths she witnessed during the Great Depression and the Second World War. However, this knowledge seemed to approach her from the side, not head-on. Unfortunately, she suffered from anxiety in her long life and feared a lot of stuff. But she was too busy fearing other stuff to remember to fear everything!
And so, you’re probably afraid of the wrong things, too.
You cringe at home, cornered up against the wall, afraid. I know. I can see you.
Actually, I can’t see you, but we all kind of live that way.
Sometimes, it feels like a blanket of fear settles over us all. And this fear comforts us somehow, just like a blanket comforts us from the cold. The only problem is that as it comforts, it also eats away at our souls, destroying us.
I pondered how to avoid fear as I read the book The Night The Angels Came about missionary Chrissie Chapman, who chose to spend her life in war-torn Burundi instead of peaceful Britain.
One day, she had a really bad week.
It was a bad week in a way that our first-world minds can’t really wrap our heads around. For example, her child was kidnapped. Yup. Seriously. That same week, a grenade was accidentally thrown into their yard as civil war was fought outside their house, and a gunshot bent the frame of her bedroom window.
Then, she was held up at gunpoint for a bag of rice due (in part) to food scarcity.
I look downstairs at my freezer, which is full of food, and I can’t remember what’s in it. So, I have a hard time relating to food scarcity. What a privileged culture we live in, in so many ways.
And yet, I know precisely how author Chrissie Chapman feels because I’ve had bad weeks, too!
I’ve had a bad week where fear was like a blanket, wrapping itself around my neck and choking me, too.
For example, one day this summer there was a clear blue sky, and the birds were singing. I live in peaceful rural North America, where the deer that eat my tulips are the most irritating intruders. (Why? Why do they have to do that?)
And yet, as I looked around, my heart was a cancer full of fear, consuming me.
What about those things in the news that might happen? What about that stuff I read on social media that might occur? And the worst question is, What if I’m worried about the wrong things?
I choked on my coffee and almost fell over when I overheard my daughter’s online science class this morning. Here’s what was said, verbatim, because this is from the online recording.* (I’m not even exaggerating this time!)
Student: “They were so old they should have been hospitalized!” (Lori’s comment: I didn’t know there was an “age” at which hospitalization occurs!)
Teacher: “About how old?”
Student: “I dunno- Maybe 40 or 50 years old!”
My reaction reflected the fact that I personally MIGHT be INCHING toward (or way past) one of those ages this youth deemed as “should be hospitalized.”
That discussion inspired the post today – I know that none of us like to say this out loud or admit that this is a reality, but one day, I started growing older!
At around the same time, I noticed I had lost my abs.
I had always had abs as a youth. I even tree-planted (which means I’m tough), and that’s how I got some of those muscles.
But somehow, one morning, when I woke up, my abs weren’t there anymore! I looked around, trying to find them. Then I learned that when you’re older, a higher percentage of your body turns into fat.
When that happened, I realized that my abs hadn’t turned to fat. They were covered in fat! And when the extra stuff was gone, there they were!
My abs came out from hiding.
Some of you are wondering where God is, as well. Maybe you knew Him for a while or had an experience of Him, just like I had abs when I was younger, but now where is He? Well, here’s the good news:
He’s right there, under your fat!
Under your spiritual fat, that is. He’s been with you this whole time! All you need to do is get rid of some of the junk.
It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.
As the song below plays, ask God, “What garbage do you want me to bring to the curb? And what one next step do I need to take to stretch out my hand to receive the beautiful gift of Your love that You long to pour out on me affectionately?” (I pray you make the exchange, friend.)
And may you find your abs, too! I mean God.
Footnotes
*Yes! They record classes online now! Those poor teachers! Do YOU want your every frustration toward insolent youth recorded? Thank God they haven’t yet figured out how to record every word we homeschooling parents utter! If you find yourself accidentally emitting a mischievous word, here’s a tip to cover up the incident.
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
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I was in Dollarama minding my business when a stranger opened her heart to me.
I was as surprised then as you are now, reading this. We were standing near the Halloween decorations, and as she vented, more of her heart came out. “I’m just not sure I agree with these gross decorations and letting my kids dress up as such violent characters.”
Perhaps it was because my homeschooled kids had commented as they walked by the Halloween decor along the lines that the costuming was icky.
I’m unsure if that made this stranger feel I could be her confidante. It seemed she was processing her thoughts aloud as she let them out. But this wasn’t the first time this had happened.
Maybe it’s the fact that more people are accidentally getting themselves in trouble stepping into actual demonic realms, or maybe it’s because skull and demon fashion decor trends are dipping, but we clearly have modern Halloween bystanders who seem uncertain about the whole thing, especially the more disgusting the decor becomes.
But we’re not talking about that today.
We’re talking about how not to look like a loser on Halloween!
To me, Halloween feels like the desire to hang out with the cool kids, but thinking that the cool kids are a bit gross. There’s this cultural desire, or maybe the pull of candy and the fun of dressing up, because I want to play, too! But really? Why are there cut-off body parts right there?
Anyway, let’s talk about how to avoid celebrating Halloween like a loser.
To do that we will need to learn some history.
The eve of All Saints Day, or All Hollows Day (shortened to Halloween) was a day initially designed to celebrate God’s victory and even to mock the devil’s defeat.
“Let’s get free of God!” . . . Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing. At first he’s amused at their presumption. . .
We’re saying to the devil that, “Hey! You’re on the losing team because Jesus has defeated you on the cross!” But when we honor and try to lift the satanic, like those 10-foot demon statues sometimes put on lawns, were saying “I’m voting for the losing team!”
And that’s how we celebrate Halloween like a loser.
So how do we celebrate Halloween like a winner?
Again, let’s turn to history.
On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther set the world on fire by birthing a reformation within the Catholic church (He did this by nailing his “Theses” to a church door -The modern precursor to email).
So let’s dress up, enjoy hot chocolate and friendship, and celebrate like a winner. Jesus won the ultimate victory, although that victory hasn’t seen its full fruition yet and won’t until He comes back again. But we know where the final victory lies!
O.K., you might not be cool, but at least you won’t celebrate with the losing team!
And that’s one step toward fitting in with our culture, being cool so people will like us, and making sure we’re doing the same things as everyone else regardless of whether or not our gut instincts wonder if we’re celebrating with the right team! (See first paragraph).
Once, I was mistaken for Ned Flanders (the ultra-Christian), not in person, but in my writing. Ned and I are pals, actually!
Ned and I are in the same group because we aren’t allowed to expel anyone (I.e., those who aren’t cool enough) from the Jesus club. And that’s a good thing, in hindsight, because what if they wouldn’t accept me? But we’re not talking about that today.
I began researching Satanism when my friend Ned Flanders said, “Gee, Lori! This group sounds cool!” He sent me some of the stuff he was learning, like these seven fundamental tenets of The Satanic Temple. Christianity has the same principles (Admittedly, “tenets” sound fancier than “principles” though)!
Let’s explore the similarities between the seven tenets of the Satanic Temple, and some key principles of Christianity.
Satanic tenet #1: One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
Satanic tenet #3: One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
Christian principle: Amen! An unborn baby’s body is inviolable, subject to their own will alone!
Satanic tenet #4: The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.
Satanic tenet #5: Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.
Satanic tenet #6: People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
Satanic tenet #7: Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
Christian principle: Amen! We agree that the spirit of compassion, wisdom and justice SHOULD ALWAYS prevail over YOUR written or spoken word!
“Come and join our little club!” the tenants of Satanism suggest.
These seven tenets sound like Christianity or at least like something that regular people strive toward! (“Oh, and we also rip pages out of Bibles and have strange rituals including black mass and maiming ourselves with cigars, but that’s not a big deal!” they’ll mention later.)
So, I put my arm around my friend Ned Flanders and said, “If you want to be kind to others, go ahead and do that!” You don’t need to burn the book that is the pillar of our privileged culture in a weird ceremony or call yourself a Satanist to be kind and reasonable! (“Huh? What now?” said someone who just started reading this post).
We write some stuff, publish it online, and then ask THEM who we are!
What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here – and, by extension, what we’re supposed to be writing.
For example, I’ve been trying to figure out why people are reading this Substack for a while, and despite my careful research, I haven’t thought up any reasons!
And since we’re talking about defining ourselves by how many people on the internet like us, can you please complete this (quick) survey to help me determine why you like me?
You need me to tell you how to homeschool? I.e., You like the homeschooling posts?
You want to grow spiritually and haven’t had time to find someone who actually knows what they are talking about? I.e., You like the spiritually-themed posts?
You want to be smacked upside the head for being a self-centered jerk? I.e., You like the posts about living sustainably?
Your ego is also so huge that you think you can save the world, too? I.e., you like the posts about climate?
Other reasons? I.e., WHAT kind of future content are you hoping for? Please let me know in the comments below!
(I’m writing for you, actually, even though I pretend I’m not. Don’t tell my ego. And I DO want to help you find a cup of cold water or to share whatever lint or whatever else I can find here in my pocket if you want it.)
So you can see a picture of me in my cool unicorn suit later on in this post, as I illustrate – YES! CLEARLY! – why we want to push past any (potentially) annoying people in our pursuit of God.
(No – Not your Kindergarten teacher! Someone EVEN scarier!)
So last time we talked about what parts of demonic culture we SHOULD TRY to incorporate into our lives.
So, this time, we’ll talk about – EW! GET that Satanic stuff OUT of your life, for heaven’s sake! Why the back and forth of recommendations? Well, you never know what’s true anymore on the internet so it’s essential to use our critical thinking skills at ALL times!
“What demonic stuff do you think we should keep OUT of our lives, Lori?” you ask with rapt attention. I’m glad you asked, friend! Let me advise you so I can feel important (Or help you – WHATEVER!).
Nope- those of you who are asleep still haven’t missed anything (whisper).
Let’s begin.
So there ARE people who stay at home concocting ways to hurt people, abuse power or manipulate with fear. And no, I’m NOT talking about your mother or Wall Street, although, come to think of it, a similar culture sometimes dominates there, too. No! I’m talking about REAL live scary people – DIFFERENT ones from the ones you already know!
The book has over 3,500 reviews and maintains its 5-star rating. That alone smacks you in the face and says, “Pay Attention!”
As well, the guy speaks in SECULAR (that means they don’t talk about religion!) schools people! Another slap up side the head. Someone who DOESN’T BELIEVE all this spiritual stuff thinks that this guy is someone kids need to learn from.
I guess “Warlock” is a valid career choice! Huh! Who knew? That’s the career opportunity the author of this book, John, chose, anyway!
John loved the power associated with his position. For example, little kids with their moms would purposely cross to the OTHER side of the street if they saw him coming. I can’t say that is MY top aspiration in life, but we each have different life goals!
A notorious New York City street gang leader, Nicky Cruz, after Jesus exchanged his rock-hard heart for a new, living one, gives a sheet of paper with some facts about Jesus to this guy, John. John comes to faith! (Actually, John sees a spiritual ring of fire around Nicky Cruz as he preaches on the streets of New York, but you have to be a lot deeper into the faith rabbit hole to believe THAT stuff! Let’s get back to discussing real-life Warlocks -Look, JOHN said it – not me!)
After John’s conversion from Satanism to Christianity, a story resembling a Marvel Movie in its scope and range of characters representing those pulling him in both directions, John, the scary demon guy, changes into his Clark Kent attire and peacefully attends church every Sunday for the rest of his life. (Actually his spiritual journey began that day, but that’s another story and this post is getting too long.)
The end.
The point?
STAY AWAY FROM DABBLING IN SATANIC STUFF, people. Seriously! Get your head out of your rear end! (If you are from another culture, that statement is an English expression. No, I don’t know what it means, either! But it seems to fit here.) Or read this book, at least, before you assume you KNOW that there’s nothing behind this gross stuff.
John opens up about stuff that most people don’t usually talk about when they get involved in Satanism because if they did, they wouldn’t get invited to quite as many cocktail parties with their co-workers.
So his book is an opportunity to see the world through some different glasses – through Ned Flander’s glasses, to be precise.
Then, we go to a church where they read the same stuff.
At church, they HAVE to love us, too! If we find people who don’t love us there, we can find some others to love. We’ll all find true followers of Jesus who promise to love us no matter what our personality – even the “unusual” ones – whew!
So we can finally relax and have fun.
We’re loved!
This is good news for me in particular because I figured out what my family REALLY thought about me lately, and it was a bit of a shock.
Here’s what happened.
We were reading an excellent book together as a family.
Caveat: Before you get the wrong idea of us all drinking hot chocolate and stringing popcorn and cranberries by the fire as we each take turns reading aloud together, singing a song between each chapter, aka Little House on the Prairie style, no, it wasn’t like that. It was an audiobook played in the car during our day-long drive to visit extended family. The book just helped us not to want to kill each other.
Setting the mood.
Anyway, the book was excellent. It was called Jesus Revolution. I would highly recommend it*. We all got into the story, and even the child we initially had to bribe to listen to the story with us asked for more!
At one point in the book, the author, Greg Laurie, is described as having something like “deep spiritual depth and a bit of an unpredictable, crazy personality. You never knew what he was going to do next.”
My husband looked at me sneakily out of the corner of his eye, smirking. “WHAT???” I asked. “What are you smirking about??”
“Oh,” he replied, looking away casually, “just something said in the book.”
“What??” I protested. “I’m not…!” And then he laughed, and there was a muffled chuckle, I think, from the back seats.
So I guess my family thinks that his personality describes me!
And this reminds me of what we did last night! I bought a gift for my family – well, sort of. Okay, yes! I did buy it for myself and pretended to give it to the family!
It is called The Adventure Challenge. You scratch off an “Adventure,” and then the family HAS (Yes, teens, that word is “HAS”) to do the Adventure together. Last night, we strung out yarn as an obstacle course through the basement, and we had to go through it as fast as we could, being sprayed in the face with water each time we accidentally touched a string.
It was fun.
And my superhero outfit? Yeah, I am wearing a bathing suit over the top of my leotards. And yes, the big “S” on my shirt WAS made a spur of the moment. It helped me go faster!
I even got first place!
(Before any of the others went, I was ranked first, that is.)
So relax! Make your teens do fun and crazy stuff with you! If you’re unsure how, try making “fun” a prerequisite to “food,” for example! They’ll thank you later! (When they’re old they may thank you – At least that’s what happened to us!)
Your kids are loved, too!
And that was the message of the Jesus Revolution book, actually. It was about a bunch of crazy hippy kids who were overcome, in some cases literally, by the love of God. That love overflowed to others and transformed a nation (Even Time Magazine did a cover article about this movement on June 21, 1971).
And then, after you’ve let your stomach fat and the rest of the real you out a little bit, if you’re desperately looking for a way to improve your self-esteem, spend a few more minutes with the kind of people who believe they HAVE to love you!
You’re welcome!
Good luck!
Footnotes
*If bribing your kids to watch a movie with you is less expensive than bribing them to read a book with you, the movie Jesus Revolution can be rented here.
Restoring Life 